[10 Tips] How to be a Successful Husband

[Safeena]

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!

7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8. Don't be little her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!

[glo]

Yay!! :statisfie

Of course, this should be mirrored by the wife, but thanks for sharing!

Blessings.

[Mawaddah]

You Go Sister!! Masha'allah, there need to be much much more of these types of posts on the forum. Baarakallahu Feeki
[MAD]Brothers Pay Attention to it[/MAD]

[Kittygyal]

salam.
ta sis for sharing come on bros read carefully!!!

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[zqamar49181]

thx alot sister..very nice post..............every husband should read that...............nice post really appreciatable............may ALLAH give u jaza

[MusLiM 4 LiFe]

aww dtz reali sweet :)

[queen_nadia]

thanks sis for this post its really great. i wanna show my husband it without it looking as if im hinting;D. you see we are not living as husband and wife until the ceremony and i'v been getting all these tips from sisters but im sure the brothers are not giving the same kinda advice to him! its starting to look as if marriage is all about pleasing the husband even though he is showing me the opposite mashaAllah. Alhamdulillah your the first sister to speak of a husband pleasing his wife.
may Allah bless us all with successful marriages and that we complete half our deen sucessfully.:sister:

[Barzakh]

Nice post Mashallah, now if only i had a wife to treat like so:hmm:. Speaking more generally though one should count his/her blessings and never take for granted what they have, doing so will make it easier to follow these tip for the husband and the wife Inshallah.

[MusLiM 4 LiFe]

juz keep dem in mynd innit bro.. n wen da tym comes u can follo it.. :)

[Pk_#2]

:) .............

[Dhulqarnaeen]

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!

7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8. Don't be little her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!

:sl:
Really excellent posts that every husband have to pay attention to it. Althought we admit its the wifes who should pay mooooreee attention, but like hadits said "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family."
So husbands have to do self introspection to them self. And they must realize that its not only them who want to be pleased but also the wifes. MAsha Allah.
I think we should write this posts down and do these in our home, insha Allah manfaat.

[seek.learn]

Salaam o alaikum,

JazakAllah for the post.
May Allah guide our brothers as well as our sisters. Aameen.

To Allah we all return.

Alaikum Salaam

[borichulo]

:sl:
thank you for the tips, i was happy to see that i already do most of them.
:w:

[hamzaa]

9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

:salamext:

twice, last year....

*coat* emigrated*

[IceQueen~]

:sl: just wanted to share an article I read by IBRAR HUSAIN BOLTON

"Nice message to start a campaign for muslim men not to just say 'salallahu alaihi wa sallam' but to actually emulate the greatest man and a great husband- that way we will make his 'ruh' happy more than the lip service will. Here are 10 tips on how to be a successful husband:

1- Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah (saw) would always start with miswaak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2- Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah (saw) had nicknames for his wives- ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt her feelings.

3- Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day- which brings no attention from the husband until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognise all the good that she does and focus on that.

4- If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah (saw) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (ra). It's a technique that few muslim men have mastered.

5- Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the muslim ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those ahadith when Rasul Allah (saw) would kiss is wife before leaving for salah, even if he was fasting.

6- Thank her for all that she does for you. Thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the house, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be- thank her!

7- Ask her to write down the last 10 things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognise what gives your wife happiness. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8- Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah (saw) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (ra) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He (saw) wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9- Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah (saw) would race his wife 'Ayesha (ra) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10- Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger (saw): "The best of you are those who treat their families best. And I am the best amongst you to my family."
Try to be the best! In conclusion: never forget to make du'ah to Allah (swt) to make your marriage successful. And Allah (swt) knows best!

(any views or opinions expressed in this message are solely those of the author)

[BlissfullyJaded]

:sl:

*Threads Merged* :)

[sacred_rose]

this post bought a smile to my face im not married and dont like the idea of marriage but that is something i would love to have in my husband i love the part about the man smiling to his wife that is something i would appreciate
jazak allhu khair for the post

[Ali_slave of Allah]

salaam
Mashallah if only i had a wife to treat her like that
ne ways inshallah after few year thankx fo postin
w.salaam

[shible]

:sl:


1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.



2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.


3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.


4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.


5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.


6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!


7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.


8. Don't be little her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.


9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?


10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!


In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!


Prepared by : Muhammad AlShareef
:w:

[England]

Does size not matter?

[deen_2007]

aww....thats so nice...all us sisters should print this and give it to our husband / husband to be.........then they;ll have no excuse!

[shible]

It's according to the way you take it.

though Cotton filled the whole room is not as worthy as a small diamond

and in sea even big Alligators don't stand a chance before the huge Whale.


Think wise and decide Wise

[deen_2007]

^^ i didnt understand what u mean!.....

[shible]

i never meant anything in specific,

these were the words told to me by my faculty when i said the same words

so i just remembered them here that's all sis

[AtTiYa]

aww that is so cute!!! inshalah evry husband wil b like that.!!!!!

[shible]

Assalamu alaikkum(warah)

Thanks Sis,

hope to post more such informative threads on all sections Insha ALLAH

[Umar001]

May Allah Make the Marriages of All Muslims Be Built on Love and Mercy.

[shible]

:sl:

Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:

· Begin with a good greeting.

· Start with Assalamau 'Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du'aa for her as well.

· Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations

· Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.
· Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.
· Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.
· Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc.

Friendliness and Recreation

· Spend time talking together.
· Spread to her goods news.
· Remember your good memories together.

Games and Distractions

· Joking around & having a sense of humor.
· Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.
· Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.
· Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.

Assistance in the Household

· Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired.
· The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her hard work.

Consultation (Shurah)

· Specifically in family matters.
· Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.
· Studying her opinion carefully.
· Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.
· Thanking her for helping him with her opinions.

Visiting Others

· Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)
· Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.
· Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with.

Conduct During Travel

· Offer a warm farewell and good advice.
· Ask her to pray for him.
· Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence.
· Give her enough money for what she might need.
· Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc..
· Return as soon as possible.
· Bring her a gift!
· Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.
· Take her with you if possible.

Financial Support

· The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).
· He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).
· He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.

Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

· Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.
· Always being clean and neat.
· Put on perfume for her.

Intercourse

· It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)
· Start with "Bismillah" and the authentic du'a.
· Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).
· Begin with foreplay including words of love.
· Continue until you have satisfied her desire.
· Relax and joke around afterwards.
· Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it haram
· Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her to do it first while he is looking on.
· Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are heavy.
· Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.

Guarding Privacy

· Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.

Aiding in the Obedience to Allah

· Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray "Qiyam-ul-Layl" (extra prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku'ua).
· Teach her what you know of the Qur'an and its tafseer.
· Teach her "Dhikr" (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening.
· Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale.
· Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so.

Showing Respect for her Family and Friends

· Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents.
· Invite them to visit her and welcome them.
· Give them presents on special occasions.
· Help them when needed with money, effort, etc..
· Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her friends and family.

(Islamic) Training & Admonition

This includes:

· The basics of Islam

· Her duties and rights

· Reading and writing

· Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs

· Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women

· Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library

Admirable Jealousy

· Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house.
· Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men.
· Avoiding excess jealousy.
Examples of this are:

1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did not mean
2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just.
3- Preventing her from answering the phone.

Patience and Mildness

· Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.
· Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc..
· Forgive the mistakes she does to you.

Correcting her Mistakes

· First, implicit and explicit advice several times.
· Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings). Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her.
· The last solution is lightly hitting (when allowable) her. In this case, the husband should consider the following:

o He should know that sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet PBUH never beat a woman or a servant.

o He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g. refusing intercourse without cause frequently, constantly not praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of time without permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been, etc..

o It should not be done except after having turned from her bed and discussing the matter with her as mentioned in Qur'an .

o He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body.

o He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe, etc.


Pardoning and Appropriate Censure

· Accounting her only for larger mistakes.
· Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah's rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc..
· Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake.
· Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing.
· Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn't then he does not eat and does not comment.
· Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations
· Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings.
· When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others.
· Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words.



Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah and for reviewer Br. Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors. Muslim Students' Association University of Alberta Edmonton, Canada February, 1999.



:w:

[muslimah_786]

thank you for the information.

[NoName55]

:sl:

Ahmed Shehab - 60 Ways To Keep Your Wife's Love, and the romance alive! << Click here

Description:
This is a very beautiful and touching talk. Infact even non-muslims would
benefit so much from this talk that their relationships would be so much
better. HIGHLY recommend you watch this if you don't want to end up in
divorce.. Just the little things you do such as surprising your wife with gifts
is how you can keep the romance alive.. Make good notes and study them
well and you will see the happiness in your wife's eyes. Also sisters can
watch this as the advice can be applied towards the husband too! Please
submit comments on this video and we will forward them to Ahmad Shehab.


Added on: 26-Jun-2005 Downloads: 3752 Rating: 9.0 (12 Votes)
HomePage | Rate Resource | Details | Comments (9)

:w:

[vpb]

lol, all of this that you discussed can be put in one tip and that tip is : "Follow the sunnah, do what the Prophet saws did :) "

[shible]

Yup but i thought it would be easier while arranging them in points and sections that's all

[BlissfullyJaded]

:sl:

*Threads Merged*

[aby5y]

really nice post Mash'Allah

[jeeves]

:sl:

Marriage is a partnership and the effort has to be made from both sides with sincerety to make it work. All relationships are prone to conflicts now and then and maritial relations even more so. Issues of compatibility keep cropping up.

Following the Sunnah is the ideal way for making sure there is harmony, peace, tranqulity and affection within a household. The rights of husband and wife were laid down based on Hadiths and were actually practiced by the prophets, its easier said than done in these times, but, that does not mean that we consider it impossible.

In this day and age we are much more selfish than the appearance we give on the surface, all women feel good when reading how a husband should behave and vice versa, we instead should ponder on our own self and try to concentrate on the what is required of us before we read about what is required from ones spouse. The need to correct others is always compelling but the key is to first correct ourselves and leave the the other person to do so as well. This will result in a better relationship between the husband and wife.

When we show courtesy, we get same from the other side, when we show love and affection, we get same from the other side. However, if we demand those things first and try to return it on that condition we are basicall making fools of ourselves and in the process achieve nothing.

For instance take the case of "respect", it is always to be earned, it cannot be given on a silver platter to anyone. You cannot force anyone to respect you as whatever respect the other had for you can be gone in seconds if such demand is made. This is something which is different from love and affection which really requires one to take a step first and than expect same in return.

My brothers and sisters, in order to have a good relationship one has to consider a common phrase in Urdu which I recall is something like this, "pehlay apni gereban me jhaank kar to dekheen"

I just thought I should put forth my opinion which is by the way just my opinion and anyone can agree or disagree. My intentions however are very clean when I say what I said in the foregoing paragraphs.

May Allah guide us to take the right path where we may find the true happiness from within.

:w:

[ibrarfaiz]

some of this incorrect, when you say dress up you wife she can only be in the islamic dress code of hijab and also u cannot give nicknames to your wife as nicknames are makrooh

[Snowflake]

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress

overall a great post.. but I don't think a husband needs designer pj's to look good for his wife. :p

[Malaikah]

some of this incorrect, when you say dress up you wife she can only be in the islamic dress code of hijab and also u cannot give nicknames to your wife as nicknames are makrooh

:sl:

Umm... she doesn't have to wear hijab in front of her husband. And nick names are not makrooh, only those with bad meanings are.

:)

[ibrarfaiz]

nice thnx for that didnt know i thought all nicknames were makrooh and yh i just remembered u can dress your wife as you wish only for your eyes though