Question :
Is it a sin to hit one's children by hand or stick. I only do this when I feel the child has not obeyed my instruction after several warnings. Also, is it a sin to lift a hand for one's wife. There are times when I feel that it should be done but have resisted thus far. As for the case of the children, I feel extremely guilty after the spanking given and beg The Almighty for his forgiveness if the act is wrong. Is there duaas which I may read daily for The Almighty to guide my children and bless them with good Aqaa'id?
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
The father’s duty is to bring his children up well and to take care of them, and hitting may be used as a means of discipline when the situation requires that. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to smack children for not praying when they reach the age of ten, but this should be the last resort, when all others have failed, and there should be no harshness in the hitting, and we must not hit the face. The father should not hit his child at the time of extreme anger, or with a sharp instrument that may injure him, or with anything that may break bones, and he should not hit him in a place where a blow may be fatal. Brandishing the stick may be more effective than actually hitting. The point is that when disciplining his child, a father should follow the principle of using the gentlest means then the next gentlest; he should not resort to the harshest and most difficult means if he can achieve his aim with something that is easier and gentler.
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