/* */

PDA

View Full Version : I Need To Stop Her!



AnonymousPoster
07-07-2006, 12:45 PM
:sl:
I am so worried for my sister! Subxanallah she hates her face and her looks she has been hurt by people calling her ugly and fat before and now she thinks plastic surgery is her only choice.
She is a muslim and practise believe it or not. Plastic surgery is haram she wants her face redone, nose, eyes,the bone structure, liposuction and on.
I though she was joking but she is not :( How can I stop her???
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
Sis786
07-07-2006, 12:48 PM
Salaam

Sister this is serious you need to talk to her, This is haram and also this will effect her health.

You need to talk to her and you need to tell your parents or family or maybe a friend that she will listen to.

Also go on the web and find sites about these things going wrong you will hundreds and show them to her maybe if she sees what may happen it would make her change her mind.
Reply

AnonymousPoster
07-07-2006, 12:50 PM
I tried but she just laughs it off i told her is haram but thinks she can repent later and so. I am really worried
Reply

...
07-07-2006, 12:52 PM
Yeah u gotta stop her somehow! Explain all the drawbacks to her and tell her how many times it's gone wrong... Also make sure u point out any time she's looking good..
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
IceQueen~
07-07-2006, 12:56 PM
OMG poor sis!! i''ll pray for you both insha allah, but she needs a confidence boost!
ask her whether it's more important that she looks good in the eyes of people or in Allah's eyes?
tell her that it's what you look like in Allah's eyes that matters and in heaven everyone will be beautiful!!! the mu'min woman in heaven is better than even the huur ul-3ayn.

besides how do you know the plastic surgery will go OK? what if she ends up looking worse..-point this out to her!

plastic surgery isn't allowed in islam, when people call her ugly she should tell them that that is how Allah created her..they shouldn't hurt her.
please Allah and you will be successfull not people! people will never be satisfied no matter how hard you try..

tell her to pray to Allah and do her best to do sabr
Allah said in the quran that He created man in the best of forms! this is a test from Allah and remember-Allah tests those He loves...

ask her whether she wants to be loved by people or by Allah...

May Allah guide her and help her, I hope her heart is soothed and she gets comforted insha allah...Ameen
Reply

Mawaddah
07-07-2006, 12:58 PM
^ Masha'allah that's great Advice that you gave Sis Marya1

Talk to her about that sis!! and also tell her that it's not allowed for us to intentionally do a sin whilst telling ourselves that we will make Tawbah later. Because the meaning of the Tawbah is lost!! And it would be like we were mocking Allah subhanahu wa ta3ala if we were to do this.

I have nothing more to say besides what the sis above me said. May Allah make things easy on her Ameen..
Reply

IceQueen~
07-07-2006, 12:58 PM
the real problem is her self-esteem/confidence. plastic surgery is not gonna help these so the problem will still remain-someone needs to give her a pep talk-someone she respects and admires insha allah...

(J/K sis maw)
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
07-07-2006, 12:59 PM
:salamext:

Sis inshaAllah do your utmost best to stop her!

tell her the following:

[PIE]SAHIH BUKHARi
Volume 7, Book 72, Number 815:
Narrated 'Abdullah:

Allah has cursed those women who practise tattooing and those who get themselves tattooed, and those who remove their face hairs, and those who create a space between their teeth artificially to look beautiful, and such women as change the features created by Allah. Why then should I not curse those whom the Prophet has cursed? And that is in Allah's Book. i.e. His Saying: 'And what the Apostle gives you take it and what he forbids you abstain (from it).' (59.7)
[/PIE]

And please read to her the following ayyat inshaAllah:

[PIE] "I will mislead them, and I will create in them false desires; I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and to deface the (fair) nature created by Allah." Whoever, forsaking Allah, takes satan for a friend, hath of a surety suffered a loss that is manifest.

AN-NISA Verse 119
[/PIE]

Shaytaan wants to mislead your sister, tell her this dunya is not even 0.00000000001 second of the eternal akhirah so why risk such a massive punishment?

Whoever, forsaking Allah, takes satan for a friend, hath of a surety suffered a loss that is manifest


I hope Guidance reaches your sister ASAP inshaAllah.

this is simply a small trial....

:salamext:
Reply

Ghazi
07-07-2006, 01:03 PM
:sl:

I've got an idea how about someone orginise some marriage perposals like 100's of them and have here wali's phone number going off like every 5 mins maybe that would bring her self-esteem back.
Reply

Malaikah
07-07-2006, 01:04 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl:
I am so worried for my sister! Subxanallah she hates her face and her looks she has been hurt by people calling her ugly and fat before and now she thinks plastic surgery is her only choice.
She is a muslim and practise believe it or not. Plastic surgery is haram she wants her face redone, nose, eyes,the bone structure, liposuction and on.
I though she was joking but she is not :( How can I stop her???
:sl:

people can be soo mean:grumbling what right do they have to laugh at the face Allah swt gave her!

Um isnt there someway she can make her self look better (and hopefully feel better) with out the plastic? like diet or something. Perhaps you can suggest alternatives to her? i think that might be more effective than just telling her that its haram, have an alternative. plus maybe get her to no associate with mean ppl who laugh at her.

May Allah swt guide her, ameen.
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
07-07-2006, 01:06 PM
nothing defeats natural beauty, if shes fat tell her to lose weight, why lipsuction? wats that about? InshaAllah advice her and help her lose weight.

Tell her nothing beats the natural beauty Allah has already bestowed... its a blessing !
Reply

Daffodil
07-07-2006, 01:10 PM
Asalamulaikum

U might want to tell ur sis about this 20 year old girl who was having a face lift n died on the operating table.
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
07-07-2006, 01:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Daffodil
Asalamulaikum

U might want to tell ur sis about this 20 year old girl who was having a face lift n died on the operating table.
is that a scare or a fact?
Reply

AnonymousPoster
07-07-2006, 01:11 PM
May Allah swt reward u all for the great advices I will explain this to her really helpful and yes sometime people are mean but hey thats the world we are livin in! jazakallah
Reply

DigitalStorm82
07-08-2006, 05:22 AM
Just find her a husband... get her engaged... that will solve everything.

ma'salaama,
Hamid
Reply

Tania
07-08-2006, 10:47 AM
Talk with your parents to cut off her budget because the plastic surgery is really expensive and i don't think she would be able to pay it alone-without a loan from bank, parents help and so on.

Talk with your friends too. In your absence say to her she looks pretty. More often the sisters get upset exactly because of this gossip, bad looks from the colleagues.
Reply

Hijaabi22
07-08-2006, 05:53 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl:
I am so worried for my sister! Subxanallah she hates her face and her looks she has been hurt by people calling her ugly and fat before and now she thinks plastic surgery is her only choice.
She is a muslim and practise believe it or not. Plastic surgery is haram she wants her face redone, nose, eyes,the bone structure, liposuction and on.
I though she was joking but she is not :( How can I stop her???
Im sure she wont resort to plastic surgery
Reply

learningislam
07-09-2006, 09:31 AM
:salamext:

Well, what I can say is that, your sister needs a proper brain washing. If you can do it, its well and good, and if you cant, then a psychiatrist might help. (Most people think that going to the psychiatrist, can label them as a “psycho” or something.If that is the case , then let me tell you, you dont have to bother about the stigma, its ur sister's psychological treatment.......just the way physicians do.)
Ok well, I just found these……..hope that it will be of help InshaAllah.

Our Prophet Muhammad (sallallaho alaiyhay wa aalaiyhee wa sallam) said:
“When you see a person who has been given more than you in money and beauty, look to those, who have been given less.” (Muslim)

“Allah does not look at your appearance or your possessions; but He looks at your heart and your deeds.” (Abu Huraira: Muslim)

what I think is that , you need to talk to her, and to let her know, how important she is.
Allah Almighty has made her Himself………and He loves all His creation. If she is being laughed at by people, then you should let her know that the One who created her likes her the way she is . If Allah wanted, He could have made her very beautiful too, but it is His divine wisdom and complete knowledge of all things, that He did not made her the way she wants herself to be.

And as quoted in the hadith above, that Allah, doesnot judge people by their looks………I mean, if a person is beautiful (what contribution he has put in his beauty? The answer is “zero”. It is Allah Almighty who has given that person beauty.) Then again, being beautiful does not mean that your deeds will not be looked upon. Allah will be asking us about what we did on this earth.
Your sister, should know, that she is indeed blessed. Allah has given her countless blessings. She has got eyes to see, tell her what her world would be without eyes. She can speak, and she is neither deaf nor dumb. She has got legs to walk with. Think about those who are crippled for life. Think about those who are suffering from painful diseases. Isn’t it a blessing that she has got heath……….which is the real wealth.

One thing more, she thinks that doing plastic surgery would help . Tell her is she bothered about those people who laugh at her just because she is not beautiful. I mean tell her, she wants to please those people who did not care about her feelings, and laughed at her. Isn’t it better to please Allah alone, and to accept herself the way she is. This will be a means to please Allah , InshaAllah.

And you see, beauty.....comes from our actions......If our deeds are beautiful, we are beautiful. And if our deeds our ugly, we are the same.

Hope that helps.InshaAllah.........and lots of prayers for ur sister.May Allah Almighty help her (ameen).

:wasalamex





Reply

Djinn
07-13-2006, 05:39 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Daffodil
Asalamulaikum

U might want to tell ur sis about this 20 year old girl who was having a face lift n died on the operating table.
:sl:

Precisely, any operation that deals with cutting up the skin and chipping off bone runs the risk of death. Also it must extremely painful and costly.

People in general are mean, some even enjoy giving others complexes when in fact they look fine. The cruel people who engage in insults are nothing more than weak and insecure about their own looks themselves and they need to hurt others to give themselves a false sense of power when they are nothing but weak. A human being when faced by a weakness will resort at putting others down in order to feel better for themselves. That is why your friend was victim to such cruel people. Besides, platic surgery looks fake and awkwardly noticable, things you girls don't hear and see on TV and magazines.

:w:
Reply

searchingsoul
07-13-2006, 06:11 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by DigitalStorm82
Just find her a husband... get her engaged... that will solve everything.

ma'salaama,
Hamid
It won't solve the issues with her self-esteem. The poor woman is probably wondering if she will even be able to get a husband. Let's face it physical beauty if very important to a lot of men (I've never met one that it wasn't important to).

It may be a sin but as long as society accepts physical beauty as important deciding factor for a wife, I think it's okay to get plastic surgery.
Reply

Djinn
07-13-2006, 06:15 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by searchingsoul
It won't solve the issues with her self-esteem. The poor woman is probably wondering if she will even be able to get a husband. Let's face it physical beauty if very important to a lot of men (I've never met one that it wasn't important to).

It may be a sin but as long as society accepts physical beauty as important deciding factor for a wife, I think it's okay to get plastic surgery.
:sl:

Well there is one replying to you, beauty is only skin deep. What see will your friend do when she'll start to get wrinkles. It's a vicious cycle, and it won't end with plastic surgery.

:w:
Reply

searchingsoul
07-13-2006, 06:20 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Djinn
:sl:

Well there is one replying to you, beauty is only skin deep. What see will your friend do when she'll start to get wrinkles. It's a vicious cycle, and it won't end with plastic surgery.

:w:
I agree 100% but that doesn't address the issue of physical beauty being highly "important" in society. I'm just saying that the shallow nature of men seeking beautiful women probably isn't any bigger of a sin than plastic surgery.
Reply

جوري
07-21-2006, 09:01 PM
I don't think you can scare someone into doing something if they have their mind set on doing it... I know there are lots of moral issues here... I'll tell you this much... have you discussed with your friend that she might have a syndrome called (BDD) it is called body dysmorphic disorder... it is a serious illness which can't be cured by any amount of surgery... how about finding your sister a psychitrist or a counselor to get to the bottom of this rather than treating it artificially? If you are in the NY area I can recommend a muslim psychitrist if she would be more comfortable... I think everyone should consider some counseling before taking on a life altering or body altering decision... I will not judge your friend I think ultimately it is something between her and God... not all of us her and God...
Reply

Angel
07-22-2006, 06:04 PM
:cry: god! pple can be soo mean sometimes , reali wat right do they have to call her ugly ,arghh!! they should look at themselves before insulting your sister, maybe who knows they are the ugle ones and just to make thmeselves feel good they call her ugly god!!. Sis no one is ugly in this world,its the way allah(swt) created us and no matter wat we should be content with our looks ,i know u might think its easier said than done but we have to try. Beacuse at the end of the day we are not pleasing pple we are pleasing Allah. Sis i feel for u and ur sister, i cant imagine wat she is going through and all i can help u with is to make Dua for ur sister and pray to Allah to sooth the pain people inflicted in her. Only Allah can help her.
And remember looks dont matter wat maters most is who u are deep inside and how you treat others.
And also keep reminding your sis that no mater wat or no mater how u lok Allah is always there for her.
May Allah help you and ur sister
Reply

islamrules
07-22-2006, 06:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl:
I am so worried for my sister! Subxanallah she hates her face and her looks she has been hurt by people calling her ugly and fat before and now she thinks plastic surgery is her only choice.
She is a muslim and practise believe it or not. Plastic surgery is haram she wants her face redone, nose, eyes,the bone structure, liposuction and on.
I though she was joking but she is not :( How can I stop her???

that's really sad, :cry: people these days, they are just plain mean.:heated:

sis remind your sister about the akhira and that she will one day die. and that how she looked wouldn't matter, and that it would be up to her good deeds and sins that will decide if she goes to jannah or hell.

sometimes it works, it wakes people up and reminds them of the hereafter and why they are on this world, which is to please allah and not people.

may allah guide your sister and all muslims who are misguided.
Reply

S_87
07-22-2006, 06:59 PM
:sl:

i would say get her counselling. beauty problems can stem from the same as anoerxia problems when girls believe they are ugly when they arent really
Reply

جوري
07-22-2006, 08:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by amani
:sl:

i would say get her counselling. beauty problems can stem from the same as anoerxia problems when girls believe they are ugly when they arent really
yup that is a very sane advise.... there are Muslim psychiatrists and counselors who can and will help... If she is getting surgery or told that it is a cardinal sin it might not fix the problem in fact it can cause her to go deeper into depression as she tries to form an equilibrium between her beliefs ... society and her own self-image ... please do the sound thing and refer your sister to a doctor or a counselor ... if you are in NY please PM and I'll leave you the contact numbers of a Muslim psychiatrist... a couple of sessions can might help her get to the roots of all of this...
Reply

جوري
07-22-2006, 08:29 PM
BY the way and this is just me not a religious scholar speaking... but, I don't believe that everyone who gets plastic surgery or reconstructive plastic surgery is going to hell.... Allah has created this universe and has made it very sophisticated ... let's not echo our sentiment of what is wrong or right without knowing the full story I promise I am not advocating plastic surgery for vanity ... we are all different people and pursue things for different reasons.... I know of a man who had a rare form of fungus that affects diabetics (mucor) which can only be cured by debridement if not it travels quickly to the brain and a person might die within a few days... Thankfully they were able to debride it away by removing a large chunk of his nose and face ... and he got a plastic nose which he wears every day and some reconstructive surgery...still looks unattractive but was better than being dead. it aids in his breathing.. So let's not judge people and admonish them.... We are all in God's hands.... Wallah A3lam....
Reply

جوري
07-22-2006, 08:36 PM
thought you guys might enjoy this
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blbushisms.htm
http://dubyaspeak.com/
Reply

limitless
07-22-2006, 11:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by searchingsoul
I agree 100% but that doesn't address the issue of physical beauty being highly "important" in society. I'm just saying that the shallow nature of men seeking beautiful women probably isn't any bigger of a sin than plastic surgery.
:sl:

Yes, of course beauty matters, even to women. I highly doubt they would marry a guy who is not beautiful. But when I write of this beauty I am reffering to inner beauty. I am most likely one of the brothers who are attractive to inner beauty, the personality, I would never marry a sister for her phyiscal beauty. There are men like me, that honestly will tell you face to face that inner beauty is more important than the physical one and I apply this in reality as often as I can.

Now to the main topic. You should tell her to lose weight, simply it will solve her issue. I used to be plump, but I lost my weight by working out and maintaing it, it is difficult, but after you lose it, you gain such incredible amount of confidence. You should tell her that her motablism isn't fast so she should watch what she eats and keep a strict time delay between meals, but she can not, tell her to eat fruits (exclude banana they intend to increase fat or lipds in your body). Or to keep her selfbusy because if she isn not busy or hanging out with friends who are beautiful then she will down, you should spend time with her, show her howother people are suffering and the killings of muslims that is going on in the world.

Hope that helps. May Allah guide her and give her strength to be strong in her faith.

:w:
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-23-2006, 12:17 PM
Salam,

Ask your sister to join this forum.
Then, let me know when she has.

Wasalam
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03-07-2015, 07:07 PM
  2. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-02-2008, 09:23 PM
  3. Replies: 31
    Last Post: 02-16-2007, 10:54 PM
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!