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Dahir
07-08-2006, 04:01 PM
Simple Question!

How do you Cope with Death?

No, not YOUR death, that hasn't happened...yet!

I meant, say, someone you know dies; spouse, sibling, parent, uncle, friend, mentor, etc., how do you cope with the loss?

Personally, I haven't 'lost' anyone, say, in the last decade, and before that, I'm pretty sure my cognitive abilities were as absent as a murderer's heart.

Examples:

"I drank tea when my cat died"

"I visited the shrink when my papa died"

"I asked my Diety (God, or anyone holding Holy Power, like Buddha for Buddhists, Jesus for Christians, etc.)"

"I cried, had some Ice Cream, and watched Shindler's List to help ease my situation"

(((You get the Idea)))


Mods, if you feel this thread is unnecessary or too sensitive, be free to delete or close it.
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Sweet_Boy
07-08-2006, 05:25 PM
Originally Posted by Dahir
Simple Question!

How do you Cope with Death?

No, not YOUR death, that hasn't happened...yet!

I meant, say, someone you know dies; spouse, sibling, parent, uncle, friend, mentor, etc., how do you cope with the loss?

Personally, I haven't 'lost' anyone, say, in the last decade, and before that, I'm pretty sure my cognitive abilities were as absent as a murdere's heart.

Examples:

"I drank tea when my cat died"

"I visited the shrink when my papa died"

"I asked my Diety (God, or anyone holding Holy Power, like Buddha for Buddhists, Jesus for Christians, etc.)"

"I cried, had some Ice Cream, and watched Shindler's List to help ease my situation"

(((You get the Idea)))


Mods, if you feel this thread is unnecessary or too sensitive, be free to delete or close it.
erghh im sorry i aint sure same herei havent had anyone of my family die for last decade i aint sure my parents grandparents are all living and so are my brothers ... and me ...
mashallah ...


i dont mean to go too off topic but i watched schindlers list at schoool its a good film ... but i know its upsetting ... i mean the part where they throw that old man out of the window ... and so on ...
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Dahir
07-08-2006, 10:42 PM
i mean the part where they throw that old man out of the window
Uh, I didn't actually ever see Schindler's List, but a scene like that must be worthy! (not because I don't like Jewish people, but because I'm a 'minimal' fan of violence.)
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Woodrow
07-08-2006, 11:05 PM
As time goes on your views change. Eventually you reach a point were virtualy every one you grew up with is gone. After seeing so many Loved ones go, you come to the understanding that death is not a thing to be feared. It is just as normal and no more traumatic than birth.

Now, when a loved one dies, I understand, wish them well and hope that one day we will meet in Jannah Inshallah.
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BlissfullyJaded
07-08-2006, 11:08 PM
:sl:

Anyways, when somebody who is close to me and I care about dies, I do tend to get emotional.. But at the same time, they've suffered a lot, and I just pray their suffering is over and they are rewarded with Jannah.

But we all shall face death, and may Allah take us to Him in strong imaan. Ameen.
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umm-sulaim
07-08-2006, 11:20 PM
Good question, but you know what i say don't stress so much bruv, when you don't know it's harder to imagine so we tend to think negative,
when the time comes remeber Allah and he will remember you, " fadhkuruuni adhkurkum"
We lost our grandad when we were younger, and our dad rahimahumaAllah 3 years ago, you learn to deal with it in time, alhamdulillah Allah is merciful, and in islam we're taught to be patient, just try to remeber things like the hadeeth 3 things that continue after you death........the last one is the pious child that prays for his/her parents.
Just things like that, and also an ayah mum reminded me with " fa idhaa jaa'a ajulum laa yasta'khiruuna sa3atan wa laa yastagdimuun"
and if there time comes they won't be able to delay an hour or put it forward.
also "kullu nafsin dhaa'igatul mawt" every soul shall taste death.
Alhamdulillah having deen definately helps you cope with death,
those without tend to repeat "why me" , "but he/she was so young" " it wasn't his time " etc...
forgetting the decree of Allah the wise.
May Allah make us all from the patient pious people.
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Dahir
07-08-2006, 11:34 PM
Good question, but you know what i say don't stress so much bruv
Same here, I tend to never get too attached to anyone who isn't immediate family or a car.
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umm-sulaim
07-08-2006, 11:41 PM
Originally Posted by Dahir
Same here, I tend to never get too attached to anyone who isn't immediate family or a car.
I meant don't worry about how you'll cope with death, you'll cope with it when it comes in the mean time, think positive, of course i don't mean don't think about death, cos its good to remeber death.
I can understand what you mean about not getting attached too, guess it'll help you deal with things like death, if their time came.
Just don't be anti social lol !
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bkzbest
07-08-2006, 11:41 PM
just forget about it dont cry for years over the person they aint comin back for sure
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Dahir
07-09-2006, 01:37 AM
just forget about it dont cry for years over the person they aint comin back for sure
Well, not so lucky for us. But for believers of re-incarnation, they can look at a tree, cow, cloud, or vase, and see their loved ones, oh lucky them!
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Malaikah
07-09-2006, 04:43 AM
Originally Posted by Dahir
Well, not so lucky for us. But for believers of re-incarnation, they can look at a tree, cow, cloud, or vase, and see their loved ones, oh lucky them!
:sl:

How is that lucky? They arent really seeing anything other than the object i hope you realise that as a muslim.:rollseyes

On topic- ive never lost anyone close to me yet alhamdulilah.. i guess most of the people here at LI are too young to have such experiences.
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Dahir
07-09-2006, 05:13 AM
How is that lucky? They arent really seeing anything other than the object i hope you realise that as a muslim.
I know, as a Muslim, that they see nothing more than an object, but the concept, and BELIEF in that makes them so lucky. But, them seeing nothing more than an object is like our belief in Allah, they think we're praying and submitting to a non-existent force. I was stating a concept, but thanks for at least trying to make things right.
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SirZubair
07-09-2006, 06:08 AM
How do i cope with the death of my loved ones?

Make dua for them,read quran for them.And KNOW that the fact that they arent around anymore is the Will of Allah (swt) and thats that.

Wa'salaam.
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mujahedeen2087
07-09-2006, 06:27 AM
im not really sure how i cope with it no one really close to me has died yet. but when a family member dies im usaually shocked. and i say to myself to bad they didnt accept islam. by they way my whole family is non muslim.
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SirZubair
07-09-2006, 06:40 AM
Insha'allah someday someone from your family will turn to islam.
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IbnAbdulHakim
07-09-2006, 02:19 PM
:salamext:

You achnowledge that Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raajiun.
From him we come and to him we shall return,
grieving is allowed for fixed periods but the emptiness of the heart is unlikely to ever be fulfilled again so i say worship Allah, giv your whole life for Allah swt, then join ur loved ones in the akhirah ;)


:wasalamex
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united
07-09-2006, 02:25 PM
Originally Posted by Dahir
Same here, I tend to never get too attached to anyone who isn't immediate family or a car.
lol
when i was little (abt 5) i cried when my dad took our car to the scrap yard.
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Ghazi
07-09-2006, 03:47 PM
:sl:

Be happy for them that they have left this cruel world and they have seen what they have put forth.
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Dahir
07-09-2006, 09:25 PM
when i was little (abt 5) i cried when my dad took our car to the scrap yard.
That is terrible pain, I hope you got past it, may peace be with the Car.:giggling:


Be happy for them that they have left this cruel world and they have seen what they have put forth.
Good point, I always try to look at the happy side of every situation, "Hope for the Best, Prepare yourself for the Worst.
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Halima
07-09-2006, 10:24 PM
:sl:

As some of the respected members have mentioned, the truest Islamic way of coping with dead is not to be saddend or not to endure any kind of emotional burden of some sort, but yet to be happy that they are going to a better place.

Whatever may be the reason that we pass on is mysterious. It may be that Allah is putting them in a better place or whatever reason. Therefore, we should not be saddend to such an extreme measure.

:w:
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Ghazi
07-09-2006, 10:41 PM
:sl:

To be honest I actually look forward to death can't wait for akhria is this strange and if all muslims had this approach then the greving process would be easier.
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Dahir
07-09-2006, 10:47 PM
To be honest I actually look forward to death can't wait for akhira is this strange
It is not strange at all to feel that way. I also await akhira because the idea of an idyllic paradise is X times better than the demon-possessed world we live in. The only things I like about this world is the save people's souls, the chance to build upon your credits to heaven, this forum, and educating others (something I don't do well;D ).
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S_87
07-10-2006, 09:01 PM
:sl:

i get all upset especially if i see the body. anyhow i cry.

and because i dont go to the graveyard i picture these people going to grave, and for like the week think what happened to them.

but yh death is something that you see happening and when people die it reminds us that one day its going to be us.
people react differently, some hide their emotions
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IbnAbdulHakim
07-10-2006, 09:03 PM
Originally Posted by islam-truth
:sl:

To be honest I actually look forward to death can't wait for akhria is this strange and if all muslims had this approach then the greving process would be easier.
bro i use to think this but death is scary, recently i've been praying for more time so that i can get Allahs mercy for jannatul firdaus...


You know if you get put in the lowest heaven, can you still go to firdaus at some point :?
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Ghazi
07-10-2006, 09:28 PM
Originally Posted by Abd'Majid
bro i use to think this but death is scary, recently i've been praying for more time so that i can get Allahs mercy for jannatul firdaus...


You know if you get put in the lowest heaven, can you still go to firdaus at some point :?
:sl:

I heard in a lecture that there's things in janna that you won't ask for like doing harm to others something evil and that you won't want a higher place cause your so happy with what allah has given you and that you know those above you did more and deserve their place.
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Dahir
07-10-2006, 09:43 PM
I heard in a lecture that there's things in janna that you won't ask for like doing harm to others something evil and that you won't want a higher place cause your so happy with what allah has given you and that you know those above you did more and deserve their place.
That's more than anyone can ever ask for. So long as the person above me as earned their right, I am complete. And there's always a place called Hell.
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Djinn
07-10-2006, 11:37 PM
"I cried, had some Ice Cream, and watched Shindler's List to help ease my situation"
Now that is a bad thing to do, every man's death whether he is Jewish or Christian is followed with sorrow. Hatred is always defeated by death in the rightous mind. Although, Ice Cream is good for the human soul after a terrible loss, tea helps alot. Personnally, I talk regularily in spirit with my loss, for people who die in reality doesn't mean they die spiritually.

Salam alaikum
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Dahir
07-11-2006, 01:58 AM
Now that is a bad thing to do, every man's death whether he is Jewish or Christian is followed with sorrow. Hatred is always defeated by death in the rightous mind
No. You misunderstood. Watching Shindler's list is not because I hate Jews or insist, no, heavens no! I am implying that some people like to ease their pain by watching movies that help them connect, so they don't feel so alone in their situation, that was all.
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Asyur an-Nagi
07-11-2006, 02:34 AM
i lost my dad a year ago from a cancer. i was devastated and i was deep in sorrow.
but each time the dark hours stroke, i remember how he reacted toward his illness. he always encouraged me to be strong, to give up on nothing. he told me many-many times that cancer is how Allah washes his soul from his sins. he refused to be a victim of anything, and he did not want to mix a life with some sense of death. he is a true warrior. and thinking of that is how i cope with death.
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Takumi
07-11-2006, 02:54 AM
In 2005, I lost my grandmother (dad's mom) and my grandfather (mom's dad). Just 3 weeks ago, my uncle (dad's brother) lost his battle with brain tumor.

In all those cases above, I was thousand of miles away. All I got was some emails about their passing and maybe a phone call or two.

How did I deal with it?

I always tell myself, we die because it's time for us to die. Every time a person is born, his death day has also been reckoned with, just doesn't know when or where or how.

It helps me a lot to think about it that way.
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Dahir
07-11-2006, 05:12 AM
Just when the thread moves deep into "it," the death stories pour in:rollseyes .

Insha Allah, you guys have moved on and realized that your loved ones are potentially in a better state.
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IbnAbdulHakim
07-11-2006, 02:13 PM
Originally Posted by Dahir
Just when the thread moves deep into "it," the death stories pour in:rollseyes ..
lol comforting aint you :rant:



Takuma bro, inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raajiun, i lost one of the closest people in my life aswell, it only makes you realise to Allah is our return and this dunya is nothing :)


:salamext:
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Sis786
07-11-2006, 02:16 PM
Everyone somewhere has suffered a loss all we can do is pray for thier souls and for Allahs SWT blessing and mercy on them!
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...
07-11-2006, 02:18 PM
I cried my eyes out when my uncle died:'(.... And then all i could do was pray for him from protection from the punishments of the grave and of the fire...
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Sis786
07-11-2006, 02:19 PM
Originally Posted by Asma1
I cried my eyes out when my uncle died:'(.... And then all i could do was pray for him from protection from the punishments of the grave and of the fire...
Aww bless sis may allah swt forgive his sins and grant him Jannat Firdous Aameen
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...
07-11-2006, 02:20 PM
Thumma Aameen!!
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IbnAbdulHakim
07-11-2006, 02:23 PM
Ameen thumma Ameen!
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Sis786
07-11-2006, 02:25 PM
Once my cousin bro died in a car accident but it was on the night of power in Ramadhan we were all distraught has he had been married for only 20 days But when we were all reading and when his coffin arrived at the house a calm fell over everyone and we never felt upset was a werid expereince,
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Djinn
07-12-2006, 04:30 AM
Originally Posted by Dahir
No. You misunderstood. Watching Shindler's list is not because I hate Jews or insist, no, heavens no! I am implying that some people like to ease their pain by watching movies that help them connect, so they don't feel so alone in their situation, that was all.
Salam brother,

If I misunderstood your statement then I apologize. It is essential for the rightous and the faithful to be freed from the shackles of anger and hatred for these actions do not serve Heaven but the opposite.

Death will be defeated inshAllah, but only when we are judge worthy as a whole. For the rightous, the virtuous and the believer will know eternal happiness, while the violent, the merciless, the betrayer will know eternal suffering. Allah (stw) is great in everything as well in punishment. So if someone who was close to you died and led a rightous and nobel life, cry but also rejoice for them, for he now knows eternal peace.

Salam alaikum
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Dahir
07-12-2006, 07:56 AM
^^^That's a "Double Understanding!!!":happy:
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syilla
07-12-2006, 08:03 AM
i don't cry on funeral...but i cry when i'm reading a book...isn't that strange...
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Dahir
07-12-2006, 08:17 AM
don't cry on funeral...but i cry when i'm reading a book...isn't that strange...
Never been to a funeral, probably never will. Hooray for me and my family's good health and avoidance of death!
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Sis786
07-12-2006, 08:24 AM
Originally Posted by Dahir
Never been to a funeral, probably never will. Hooray for me and my family's good health and avoidance of death!
Alhamdillah!
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Asyur an-Nagi
07-12-2006, 08:28 AM
Originally Posted by Dahir
Never been to a funeral, probably never will. Hooray for me and my family's good health and avoidance of death!
man, death is like a rain. you know that it will come, but nothing you can do to stop it. your probably never will sounds too much.:?
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S_87
07-12-2006, 11:42 AM
Originally Posted by Dahir
Never been to a funeral, probably never will. Hooray for me and my family's good health and avoidance of death!
:sl:

im sure you one day will, if not it will be your own funeral people are attending

كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَآئِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ
every soul shall have a taste of death

3:185
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