Marital Rape

[Thanaa]

I know wife beating is not allowed in Islam, as this page shows:
http://www.islamicboard.com/refutati...t=wife+beating

However, can anyone provide me with a verse, or verses from the Quran that forbid marital rape?
Ive never seen any that permit it, but with nutters like the one on link removed about, I was just curious to know.

[chacha_jalebi]

islam says NO!! i tink d grandad in d video :p got sum issues, lol cos he tryin 2 cuss the wests views & its totally backfired on him lol :p

neway in islam, rape is rape!! u cant rape ur wife, a marriage in islam is based on love, mercy & tranqulity as it is sed in Surah Rum V21

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."

so if rape occurs, then obviosly ders not any tranquility or love, so d marriage itself is in question

also imam ghazali, said

It is a vice in a man to assault his unprepared wife, seeking to satisfy his own lust and leaving her before she could achieve her own fulfillment…"

so obviosly its bad & d person sud b punished, but me didnt no much bout it, inshallah sum1 more knowlegdeable can help more sista :D

[duskiness]

However, can anyone provide me with a verse, or verses from the Quran that forbid marital rape?

- Thanaa - i'm not a Muslim, but isn't common sense enough?? Do you really need Quran to state that raping wife is bad? :?

[Joe98]

Yes they really need the book.

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[Asyur an-Nagi]

what book and what for?

[Ansar Al-'Adl]

:sl: In addition to what chacha_jalebi has written, I would like to add what I posted in another thread:

As for marital rape, in Islam a husband is not to force himself upon his wife and cause her harm. The Prophet pbuh said, There is to be no harming nor reciprocating of harm (Sunan Abi Dawud). The Qur'an itself clarifies that marriage is a bond of mutual love, affection and consideration (Qur'an 30:21). The Prophet pbuh said "Three things are counted deficiencies in a man. Firstly, meeting someone he would like to get to know, and taking leave of him before learning his name and his family. Secondly, rebuffing the generosity that another shows to him. And thirdly, going to his wife and having intercourse with her before talking to her and gaining her intimacy, satisfying his need from her before she has satisfied her need from him." (Sunan Ad-Daylâmî).
And in another hadith the Prophet said "Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you." "And what is that messenger?" they asked, and he replied: "Kisses and words." (Sunan Ad-Daylâmî)

So marital rape and any form of abuse is totally unislamic.

:w:

[scentsofjannah]

Allah in the Qur'an tells men not to take women against their will..

Shaykh Seraj Hendricks says Islam is not a religion that demands wives to give their husbands their servives 24/7 inshallah ill post his entire article about that in another thread and then ill link it back to you

:w:

[scentsofjannah]

heres the truly EXCELLENT article http://www.islamicboard.com/marriage...hendricks.html

also this might be helpful..

Last Update: 04:12 GMT, Tuesday, Jul. 11, 2006

Discover Islam > Ask About Islam

Question and Answer Details


Name of Questioner
Bethany - United States

Title
“Marital Rape” within Islamic Marriage?!

Date
25/Jan/2003

Question
Dear Respected Scholar,

I have a few questions about a very sensitive topic. I have been exploring the role of women in Islam as a non-Muslim.

One of the most important roles of a woman is to be a wife and to behave properly and to fulfill certain duties. One of the duties that I have been constantly observing is that of fulfilling the husband’s sexual needs.

I have found several references within essays, books, and the Qur’an that pertain to this principle. For example, in Surah 2, verse 223:

*{Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will...}*

I interpret this as the wife being the husband’s “property” and he may utilize it whenever he pleases.

I find this a bit disturbing, because if a woman is not feeling well or is “not in the mood,” does she still have to submit to her husband? Or, is the husband expected to respect his wife’s position and dismiss his desire?

Unfortunately, this reminds me too much of marital rape, which I have studied in a sociology class. Even though it may be a very controversial issue for any religion, I wonder, is marital rape not considered an offense in Islam?

I would very much appreciate your scholarly perspective and knowledge on this subject.

Topic Women's life, Marriage

Name of Counsellor AAI Editorial Staff

Answer


Salaam Bethany,

Thank you for your interesting question.

First the Qur’anic verse that you mentioned has a completely different interpretation than the one you thought of. It doesn't mean any sense of sexual exploitation.

Actually, it was revealed on the occasion that some of the prophet's companions asked him about how to approach their wives sexually. This was because their Jewish neighbors used to tell them that a sexual intercourse should only be made in one particular position.

The verse was then revealed to inform believers that they are free to approach their women in any position they like. Then the prophet (pbuh) added to its interpretation that one is free to have a sexual intercourse with his wife, in any position, as long as it is vaginal, for anal intercourse is prohibited in Islam.

It is clear that such permission aimed at adding more pleasure to both husband and wife. This is by avoiding the monotony of such a relationship.

As for "marital rape", Islam teaches both husband and wife the understanding of having to minimize the times when they are reluctant to respond to their spouses' sexual demand. Unless there are really serious reasons concerning, for example, health or mental difficulties, they should not refuse such a demand.

This is not because any side is a "property" of the other or because Islam approves what is called “marital rape”. On the contrary, this is because Islam prohibits adultery and marital infidelity.

This, in fact, is prohibited for both parties. Therefore, Islam urges both parties to be always welcoming to meet the other party’s sexual demands and needs. Both parties are also obliged to make sure that this affair has ended with full satisfaction for ones’ partner.

It seems you have read about this part, which focuses on the rule of submitting to the spouse as "obligatory" to women. This is actually the favorite issue propagated by anti-religion feminists!

Well, it seems you haven't read about the Islamic teaching that also made it obligatory for husbands to offer sex to their wives. This is due to the fact that the woman might be shy or embarrassed to ask it for herself, every four days. According to Imam Ghazali and other scholars, this is even if the husband does not feel like doing it...

In addition, a ruler should not send soldiers in an army - even if it is wartime - for more than four months, just for this reason! Also, Ibn Magah reported that the prophet (pbuh) has commanded husbands not to start a sexual intercourse, unless they start by 'flirting, talking and kissing the wife' till she becomes 'in the mood' and capable of sharing the pleasure of these moments.

You need to know, dear Bethany, that the prophet (pbuh) warned husbands against what he called: "falling onto women like animals."

He also drew men's attention that women tend to reach orgasm, a short time after husbands do. Thus, a husband should wait till she is fully satisfied. We believe that this prescription of sexual relations in Islam is the furthest it can be from rape!

Simultaneously, Islam urges the Muslim woman that - however busy she may be - she should leave whatever is keeping her busy, if her husband asks her. Here, if the woman refuses to submit to her husband's desire, for no serious reason, she would be exposed to God's displeasure. Thus, Islam directs both parties and not men only to observe this rule.

In fact, the wisdom behind such elucidation in describing spouses’ sexual relations and the ideal way to reach full satisfaction - either in quantity or quality - was meant to close the door for any body to find an excuse to commit the major sin of adultery. It is a sin, which is not accepted in Islam under any circumstances.

I really appreciate your interest in Islam. Still, I advise you to read it from its original sources. These are now available through the Internet and many other ways. This is rather than discovering Islam through sources, which deliberately distort its beautiful and comprehensive message.

The message of Islam, dear Bethany, touches every aspect of people's lives, even their sexual life! Some simply misinterpret this message by focusing on “choosing” specific Qura'nic verses or taking parts of the rulings, that serves their interpretations, and leaving the other parts.

Thank you and wish to hear from you again.

[Hijrah]

Isn't rape punishable by death either way?!

[Thanaa]

- Thanaa - i'm not a Muslim, but isn't common sense enough?? Do you really need Quran to state that raping wife is bad? :?

No I dont. Im not that retarded.
I was merely asking out of curiosity.

[Thanaa]

heres the truly EXCELLENT article http://www.islamicboard.com/marriage...hendricks.html

also this might be helpful..

Thankyou! They were!

[MusLiM 4 LiFe]

thats disgustin.. why wud u wnt 2 rape ur wife :?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

use islam as a reason to force them to sleep wiv you... thats quite evil and sick. divorce any man sik enough to do this, its your right!

[MusLiM 4 LiFe]

datz juz sik and wrong.. disgustin man

[scentsofjannah]

Thankyou! They were!

you're welcome sis :)

[Muezzin]

No I dont. Im not that retarded.

Don't insult retards. Only Napoleon Dynamite gets away with that.

[Umar001]

Don't "retards" go heaven?

Anyway, I was gonna say that article/response was really good mashallah I learnt quite abit from it.

[scentsofjannah]

forgot to provide the source for the Q& A i posted

its from Islamonline.net truly one of the best sites out there.:)

:w:

[searchingsoul]

Allah in the Qur'an tells men not to take women against their will..


:w:

Is he just referring to the wives or did it apply to slaves as well?

[diverdown]

Is he just referring to the wives or did it apply to slaves as well?

I think it's 'open season' on slaves.

[Isra]

Shaykh Ibn Baaz was asked about a man who has intercourse with his wife when she does not want to. He replied:

… If the woman is forced to do it then there is no sin on her and her fast is still valid, but if she let him do it then she has to make up that day and also repent, but she does not have to offer expiation.


Source: http://www.islam-qa.com/special/inde...site=16&ln=eng

[soulsociety]

:sl:

There's a hadith that if a husband asks his wife to bed and she refuses, and he goes to sleep angry, the Angels curse her. The hadith doesn't say that he should just force her.

[جوري]

:sl:

There's a hadith that if a husband asks his wife to bed and she refuses, and he goes to sleep angry, the Angels curse her. The hadith doesn't say that he should just force her.

is that hadith "o7ad" or "twater"? in other words does it have more than five sources validating it?

[Abdul Fattah]

while searching for the exact words "angels curse" I only came up with:
shahi book 8 (marriage) 3368 and 3366.
For such searches it's handy to use special software like "the hadeeth software" by islamasoft solutions. Since it's quite challanging to look this up manually.

But this is getting of topic, as mentioned before this hadeeth does not justify rape, far from it.

[جوري]

so what is the answer please?

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Allah says in the Quran "Treat your woman well for they are your committed partners and helpers" i dunt remember the surah, but ive read it several times. so correct me if i left anything out..kk thnx..:)

[جوري]

there are a few verses in sura number 2 ".....then either retain them in good fellowship or set them free with liberality, and do not retain them for injury, so that you exceed the limits," from sura 2 verse 31
along with many others to do with divorce... I wanted to know of this hadith b/c I think it is a weak one... not many sources backing it... so was curious
thank you

[Ansar Al-'Adl]

Shaykh Ibn Baaz was asked about a man who has intercourse with his wife when she does not want to. He replied:

… If the woman is forced to do it then there is no sin on her and her fast is still valid, but if she let him do it then she has to make up that day and also repent, but she does not have to offer expiation.


Source: http://www.islam-qa.com/special/inde...site=16&ln=eng

This is talking about the validity of a woman's fast if she has relations, so it is not directly related to the discussion.

:sl:

There's a hadith that if a husband asks his wife to bed and she refuses, and he goes to sleep angry, the Angels curse her. The hadith doesn't say that he should just force her.

is that hadith "o7ad" or "twater"? in other words does it have more than five sources validating it?

The hadith is sahîh (authentic). The Prophet Muhammad pbuh did say this about the wife who spurns her husband for no reason, just as he described a man who quarrels with his wife as being driven by the most evil of devils:

Iblîs (Satan) sets up his throne on water, then he sends out his armies of devils (to incite humans to do evil). The closest to him of these troops are the ones who cause the most tribulation. One of them comes and says, 'I have done such and such.' Iblîs says, 'You have not done enough.' Then another one comes and says, 'I never left him alone until I created trouble and caused division between him and his wife.' Then Iblîs comes close to this devil and says, 'How excellent you are!' (Sahîh Muslim)

The fact is that the Prophet Muhammad pbuh emphasized the rights of both the husband and the wife. And he rebuked both the husband and the wife who fail to uphold these rights.

:w:

[جوري]

Thank you.... btw I just read your post of Islam wasn't spread by the sword.... it was 18 pages long and my eyes are now blood shot but that was well worth it and most impressive... I saved it and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for a job well done
jazaka Allah khyran =)

[Isra]

This is talking about the validity of a woman's fast if she has relations, so it is not directly related to the discussion.



The hadith is sahîh (authentic). The Prophet Muhammad pbuh did say this about the wife who spurns her husband for no reason, just as he described a man who quarrels with his wife as being driven by the most evil of devils:

Iblîs (Satan) sets up his throne on water, then he sends out his armies of devils (to incite humans to do evil). The closest to him of these troops are the ones who cause the most tribulation. One of them comes and says, 'I have done such and such.' Iblîs says, 'You have not done enough.' Then another one comes and says, 'I never left him alone until I created trouble and caused division between him and his wife.' Then Iblîs comes close to this devil and says, 'How excellent you are!' (Sahîh Muslim)

The fact is that the Prophet Muhammad pbuh emphasized the rights of both the husband and the wife. And he rebuked both the husband and the wife who fail to uphold these rights.

:w:

But if you read the rest of the stuff on the pge from the link it has more about rape, It was just too much to post so I posted only a small part and included the link.

[soulsociety]

is that hadith "o7ad" or "twater"? in other words does it have more than five sources validating it?

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 54, Number 460:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning."

[Looking4Peace]

Yes they really need the book.

lol, sarcastic

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

LOL nice sig...neways yea we need it..so is that bad? rofl

[MRR]

It would not seem to be a very loving marriage if rape was a part of it.

[scentsofjannah]

yes Mrr agreed..no religion on the face of the earth gives a license to husbands to rape..

soul please stop repeating yourself..if you have even bothered to read the thread from the begining ..that point was addressed..after all this thread IS about marital rape..so if you want the answers its there..if you're looking for something else..then you can leave this forum.

Mods please delete such repetitive posts..from insincere people.