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AnonymousPoster
07-12-2006, 03:28 PM
I find it very frustrating that my family isn't. It really gets me down. I try to help them but I feel hopeless with my efforts.

I have a large family and at times I feel incredibly distant to them because of the way I am and because of the way they are. I don't talk to them as much as I used to, though you'd think I would because we're all fairly young, but that isn't the case. I have less interest in pointless things (like TV shows and sports) unlike them and that plays its part I feel.

I made a bit of a change after the last Rumzan. Since then, family life has been very tough. I need some advice.

JazakAllahuKhairan.
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Ameeratul Layl
07-12-2006, 03:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
I find it very frustrating that my family isn't. It really gets me down. I try to help them but I feel hopeless with my efforts.

I have a large family and at times I feel incredibly distant to them because of the way I am and because of the way they are. I don't talk to them as much as I used to, though you'd think I would because we're all fairly young, but that isn't the case. I have less interest in pointless things (like TV shows and sports) unlike them and that plays its part I feel.

I made a bit of a change after the last Rumzan. Since then, family life has been very tough. I need some advice.

JazakAllahuKhairan.
:sl:
One thing you need to pin point is: Life is tough. ts one big struggle and you don't know when its going to end. If you give up...u lose. If you continue, it'll show you different things you never thought you'd discover.

Family issue? I think we all have that. Okay fine, not all, but some. Have you heard of the saying: black sheep? Well, thats how I feel at times. But if its one thing I have learnt...I'm proud to be a black sheep.

I don't know if I have made any sense, but my point is. Carry on with how you are. Continue to learn about the Deen. You may feel left out now...but one day, things will change.

People will come to you for advise.

Trust me!

Wasalam
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Salah ad-din
07-12-2006, 04:49 PM
On the judgement day. Who will be beside you? Not mom, not dad, not friends, not even wife/husband. Learn and Practice Islam as much as you can, then spread it. Allah(swt) is the one who brings people into the fold of the din. Your job is only to invite.:happy:
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HeiGou
07-12-2006, 07:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
I find it very frustrating that my family isn't. It really gets me down. I try to help them but I feel hopeless with my efforts.

I have a large family and at times I feel incredibly distant to them because of the way I am and because of the way they are. I don't talk to them as much as I used to, though you'd think I would because we're all fairly young, but that isn't the case. I have less interest in pointless things (like TV shows and sports) unlike them and that plays its part I feel.

I made a bit of a change after the last Rumzan. Since then, family life has been very tough. I need some advice.
Don't be tough of your family. They are the only family you will ever have. Well, until you get married and create your own. You will never have another Father, or another Mother. Sisters and Brothers are irreplaceable. Treasure them constantly because soon enough you will all go your own ways.

I do not know how it is to be a Muslim in a non-religious family, but I was searching for my own way for a long time and my family thought that was all silly. It was an odd feeling. But I accepted their humour and they accepted me. That is what families do. Love them. Accept them.

My only other piece of advice would be, without compromising your beliefs, try and show them what is so good about Islam that makes you attracted to it. Be the best Sibling and Child you can be, but be the Best Muslim as well. If they see the happiness and joy that your religion brings you they may become interested too. Live your life as if it was to make people want to be good Muslims. Be a role model and a leader. Don't get angry or upset at them. Remember to be patient. And keep your eyes firmly on the prize in the Next Life.
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searchingsoul
07-13-2006, 04:19 AM
Maybe your relatives have found their own peace with God.

I have family and friends who aren't overly religious in practice. I can assume that they're not religious but that's only between them and God.

I also have family and friends that are moderately or severely "religious" in practice. Some of them lead stellar lives, some do not.

As I study religions and spirituality I'm finding that a person with a professed religion isn't always what I would call "religious". I've found that many people that I always thought were religious are not because they do things which are contrary to their religions beliefs. For example, I never knew (until joining this forum) that muslim women who didn't wear headcoverings, or muslims who took pictures weren't religious.

I think it's best to let your family live their lives in the manner that they choose, since it's difficult to gage who is religous and who is not.

By the way, welcome to the forum.
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umm-sulaim
07-14-2006, 09:48 AM
I know how you feel my friend, but life is a test, Allah ta3aala is testing you to see how you will act in this trial of yours, Allah ta3aala says in the qur'aan "li yabluwakum ayyukum a7sanu 3amala" he tests you to see which of you will do the best actions,
may Allah make us from amongst those who do good in their tests, and pass.
Also, you should try give da'wah to them, maybe they will realise the haq and through you Allah can guide them, don't give up on them inshaAllah, constantly make du3aa for them, for their guidance, and make du3aa to Allah that you stay firm my friend.
May Allah make your tests easy for you.
wassalaam.
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muslimah_here
07-16-2006, 11:28 AM
:sl:
id like to say it very easy to say that just be patient to someone whos trying to a practising muslim whereas his family is more interestd in worldy peasures. Why have we just made this habit of just saying these words but not helping each other where is this muslim community why doesnt the muslim commnuity help those who r not fotunate enough to be with practising muslims families its very difficult to be strong on ur on OWN by ALLAH not every is strong and confident by nature some people are extroverts and some introverts, I have the same puzzling thoughts I myself at times find it diffcult to get my point across my family ending up in fierce arguments at times which can lead to disrespecting ones family if we are not careful. Hence I sm trying to take things at a slower place caz I myself havent got anyone to gain strenght from but pray INSHALLAH I be able to find a pious husband whod be my strenght. :)

ALLAHAFIZ.
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AnonymousPoster
07-17-2006, 11:26 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by muslimah_here
:sl:
id like to say it very easy to say that just be patient to someone whos trying to a practising muslim whereas his family is more interestd in worldy peasures. Why have we just made this habit of just saying these words but not helping each other where is this muslim community why doesnt the muslim commnuity help those who r not fotunate enough to be with practising muslims families its very difficult to be strong on ur on OWN by ALLAH not every is strong and confident by nature some people are extroverts and some introverts, I have the same puzzling thoughts I myself at times find it diffcult to get my point across my family ending up in fierce arguments at times which can lead to disrespecting ones family if we are not careful. Hence I sm trying to take things at a slower place caz I myself havent got anyone to gain strenght from but pray INSHALLAH I be able to find a pious husband whod be my strenght. :)

ALLAHAFIZ.
:sl:

I don't know if you're talking from personal experience but you just mentioned some things that I can exactly relate to. JazakAllahuKhairan for that response. Will elaborate when I get the time.

:sl:
Reply

Asyur an-Nagi
07-17-2006, 11:32 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by HeiGou
Don't be tough of your family. They are the only family you will ever have. Well, until you get married and create your own. You will never have another Father, or another Mother. Sisters and Brothers are irreplaceable. Treasure them constantly because soon enough you will all go your own ways.

I do not know how it is to be a Muslim in a non-religious family, but I was searching for my own way for a long time and my family thought that was all silly. It was an odd feeling. But I accepted their humour and they accepted me. That is what families do. Love them. Accept them.

My only other piece of advice would be, without compromising your beliefs, try and show them what is so good about Islam that makes you attracted to it. Be the best Sibling and Child you can be, but be the Best Muslim as well. If they see the happiness and joy that your religion brings you they may become interested too. Live your life as if it was to make people want to be good Muslims. Be a role model and a leader. Don't get angry or upset at them. Remember to be patient. And keep your eyes firmly on the prize in the Next Life.
very wise
Reply

------
07-17-2006, 11:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Salah ad-din
On the judgement day. Who will be beside you? Not mom, not dad, not friends, not even wife/husband. Learn and Practice Islam as much as you can, then spread it. Allah(swt) is the one who brings people into the fold of the din. Your job is only to invite.:happy:
This is the best advice anyone can giv, its gettin reps :D
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