PDA

View Full Version : UnWanted



Ameeratul Layl
07-26-2006, 04:42 PM
:salaam: brothers and sisters,

I did say that I were thinking of writing another story after 'Unveiled feelings' which can be found here:

http://www.islamicboard.com/general-...eiled+feelings

So, here is the new story. I must point out that this story has nothing to do with 'Unveiled feelings' and is completely different.

I was very much inspired by a book I have been reading. A very old book with a very appealing form of writing. I have not yet completed my book but I had to put pen to paper and think of something just as appealing. So, here it is.

I hope you enjoy it as I enjoy writing it every minute.

Please note: Any comments that you wish to make for 'Unveiled feelings' must be in its respected thread.
Any comments for 'Unwanted' should be in this thread.
JazakAllah.


:w:
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
Ameeratul Layl
07-26-2006, 04:44 PM
:sl:

The leaves were wet and every now and again, they would latch to the front of his shoes. He kicked the leaves as far as he could, just as when he were a child. His hands were tightly held behind his back and at times, he would bring them forward to scratch his forehead. His smart suit showed off a tall figure and his golden hair adjusted the confident sparkle in his green eyes.
He could not think of a better place to be than in the woods, but any minute now he felt his nerve almost rip. He wanted to cry.
' You see my dear son, I am now old and frail. I will be leaving everything in your name,' the old grey haired man clenched his jaw. One could almost sence the tears and sadness he too felt. He was a man of good name and was respected by all that lived in Howethwaite. His thin grey hair was not a atom out of space. A man of true perfection. The Dines had never spoke of the Will before, surely not in the open such as the woods. There was not a soul to be seen, all humans were expected to be huddled around the fire and all animals hidden away in their dens. The only noise to be heard was the cracking of the branches on the ground, as both father and son continued in their brisk walk.
' The windmill will be yours my son, but you must promise not to share it with another soul. Damn it, that James! He wanted to get his claws on it before I. James Florestte. He has had it in for me since then and I can tell you my son, he will be after you once my eyes are closed and my body six feet under ground, ' the old man looked rather red in the face. It was evident that this James Flourestte was not a man of liking.
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-27-2006, 08:50 AM
:sl:

Hasn't anyone read my story yet?


:w:
Reply

searchingsoul
07-27-2006, 08:51 AM
Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

Hasn't anyone read my story yet?


:w:
I did. It's not finished is it?
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Ameeratul Layl
07-27-2006, 08:54 AM
Originally Posted by searchingsoul
I did. It's not finished is it?
:sl:
No. But I expect it to be read as I go along. The comments will help me to polish anything I have not seen.

:w:
Reply

Umm Safiya
07-27-2006, 09:01 AM
:sl:

I've read it.. It sounds good..
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-27-2006, 09:50 AM
Originally Posted by Umm Hamzah
:sl:

I've read it.. It sounds good..
:sl:
JazakAllah sis.

:w:
Reply

lolwatever
07-27-2006, 10:02 AM
sounds interstinggg so far.. i wonder where it's heading too.. keep us updated!
salamz
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-27-2006, 10:04 AM
Originally Posted by lolwatever
sounds interstinggg so far.. i wonder where it's heading too.. keep us updated!
salamz

:sl:

I will do InshAllah. You just keep tuned.

:w:
Reply

Ayesha Rana
07-27-2006, 10:18 AM
IT'S sooo COOOL!!! I love writing stories and before my GCSE's i spent most of my time doing so. Now it's mostly poetry but i still do stories. I love writing.
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
07-27-2006, 10:23 AM
mashAllah sis, thats quite descriptive, love the huddled around the fire animals gettin lost thing, i can imagine it :) mashAllah.


:salamext:
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-27-2006, 10:26 AM
Originally Posted by Ayesha Rana
IT'S sooo COOOL!!! I love writing stories and before my GCSE's i spent most of my time doing so. Now it's mostly poetry but i still do stories. I love writing.
:sl:
JazakAllah Ukhti.
:w:

Originally Posted by Mazed
mashAllah sis, thats quite descriptive, love the huddled around the fire animals gettin lost thing, i can imagine it mashAllah.
:sl:
You can imagine it? Oh subhanAllah, that is the aim. I am glad you found it descriptive. I believe stories are better this way.
JazakAllah.
:w:
Reply

Kittygyal
07-27-2006, 11:22 AM
sounds cool
Reply

Umu 'Isa
07-27-2006, 11:53 AM
:sl:
masha Allah sis, sounds pretty good. You're very talented masha Allah :D
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-27-2006, 12:42 PM
Originally Posted by islamgyal
sounds cool

:sl:
JazakAllah Ukhti.
:w:

Originally Posted by Ladee_Maryam
mmasha Allah sis, sounds pretty good. You're very talented masha Allah

:sl:

Talented? JazakAllah.

:w:
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-27-2006, 03:09 PM
:sl:

(Cont...)

The young man made no response. His eyes pealed to the ground and his lips tighter. Frederick was a young man of great respect, just as his father. 'He will take after his father', people would say.' And one day, he will do us proud'. Indeed, Frederick the only lawyer that the people of Howethwaite could ever trust and was also equally respected as his father, Mr Dines.
'Do you hear what I say?', Mr Dines burst.
'Yes father,' Frederick replied calmly. His hands were now in his pockets and his face whiter than ever. The pink in his cheeks was no longer to be seen. The thought of enemies made him feel rather ill.
The conversation regarding the Will went on for an hour and two, as did the long walk through the woods.

' Mr LongHutton called for you sir,' Alice curtseyed as she spoke. Her fiery red hair elaborated on her deep brown eyes, whilst her plump face portrayed the true beauty of her cherry cheeks and strawberry lips. She wore a white and blue dress. But as she was only a young one, she was not yet expected to wear a maid hat. In which in her opinion, was a great disadvantage.
Frederick stood at the window, resting his right arm on the window sill and gazing admirably at the oak tree as it swayed so gently to the winds notion.
‘Very well,’ and with that, Alice left just as quietly as she had entered.
Mr LongHutton was a doctor. He lived fifteen minutes away from Frederick but he inherited a stubborn character from both parents. He was no older than Frederick and but certainly less wise. Since his rise as a private doctor, Mr LongHutton seemed to have thrown himself onto the clouds. A character not to Frederick’s liking,

The wind blew through the window and the papers that were sitting so neatly on the shiny black table were now covering the varnished brown floor. Frederick took no notice. His gaze fell was still resting on the oak tree that had now become stationary. He began thinking of what his father had said earlier, until.

‘Oh my Lord, I thought you were dead my dear, Frederick,’ Mr LongHotton shouted. Indeed, it were clear that even the humor of Mr LongHutton was not exactly the most appealing in the best of manner. Frederick pulled himself away from the windowsill and with great difficulty, held up a smile.

***End of Chapter One***

Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
07-27-2006, 04:47 PM
sooooooo descriptive!!!!!!!!!!!! mashAllah
Reply

searchingsoul
07-27-2006, 04:55 PM
Originally Posted by Mazed
sooooooo descriptive!!!!!!!!!!!! mashAllah
Yes, very descriptive and well written.

"cherry cheeks and strawberry lips"

This makes me want such cheeks and lips!
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-27-2006, 05:43 PM
Originally Posted by Mazed
sooooooo descriptive!!!!!!!!!!!! mashAllah

:sl:

JazakAllah. I hope you enjoyed it.

:w:

Originally Posted by searchingsoul
Yes, very descriptive and well written.

"cherry cheeks and strawberry lips"

This makes me want such cheeks and lips!
Peace

I knew someone would make such a comment.:)
I am glad you enjoyed it.

Peace
Reply

Angel
07-29-2006, 04:11 PM
Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

JazakAllah. I hope you enjoyed it.

:w:



Peace

I knew someone would make such a comment.:)
I am glad you enjoyed it.

Peace

woow wat can i say sis ,u got a gift masha allah.
and u share it with others thats more dan enough , cherish it well sis not every one can write as well as u ,and put such feelings and describtions to a story
masha allah:)

lookin forward to chapter 2:statisfie
Reply

Ayesha Rana
07-29-2006, 07:44 PM
Keep it up sis. This gets better and better.
I wrote a piece called 'Plague of War' for my Original Writing English coursework and I got an A*. Mabey I'll post that up on my own thread.
Reply

mlsh27
07-29-2006, 07:50 PM
Salam,
It's very good. Did you mean for the first paragraph to all have long sentences? Maybe mix it up a little...
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-30-2006, 10:33 AM
:sl:

JazakAllah ukhti.
:w:


Originally Posted by Angel
woow wat can i say sis ,u got a gift masha allah.
and u share it with others thats more dan enough , cherish it well sis not every one can write as well as u ,and put such feelings and describtions to a story
masha allah:)

lookin forward to chapter 2:statisfie

:sl:

It does? Well, I sure am glad to be told that.:)
Looking forward to your story soon.inshAllah.
:w:

Originally Posted by Ayesha Rana
Keep it up sis. This gets better and better.
I wrote a piece called 'Plague of War' for my Original Writing English coursework and I got an A*. Mabey I'll post that up on my own thread.

:sl:
JazakAllah. Yes, the whole story is to be based on long and descriptive sentences.
:w:

Originally Posted by mlsh27
Salam,
It's very good. Did you mean for the first paragraph to all have long sentences? Maybe mix it up a little...
Reply

Angel
07-30-2006, 05:08 PM
are u gona write chapter 2 sis:)
cant wait
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-30-2006, 06:45 PM
Originally Posted by Angel
are u gona write chapter 2 sis:)
cant wait
:sl:
InshAllah sister. In good time.

:w:
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
07-31-2006, 11:37 AM
i was waitin for it aswell!

i think i'll relax with my story and enjoy ameeratul sis's story inshaAllah :)
Reply

amirah_87
07-31-2006, 11:53 AM
ass salaamu alaykum,

your gonna quit it :ooh:

*waiting for ameera's second part*
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-31-2006, 12:07 PM
Originally Posted by amirah_87
ass salaamu alaykum,

your gonna quit it :ooh:

*waiting for ameera's second part*
:sl:
No, I did not say I were to quit it. I simply said,'in good time'.
I am trying to think of a strong twist and other factors whilst writing a story.
So, please, just have a little more patience.inshAllah.
:w:
Reply

amirah_87
07-31-2006, 12:13 PM
ass salaamu alaykum

i think i'll relax with my story
noo i meant bro mazed was gonna quit his...
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
07-31-2006, 01:04 PM
course not!!! my stories gnna b something amazing INSHAALLAH, i hope to teach a lot of what i've learnt from my story. So im tryin to gather my thoughts :D


MAIN AIM: To learn :D
Reply

amirah_87
07-31-2006, 01:10 PM
ass salaamu alaykum,

that's good to hear mashaAllah :thumbs_up

keep up the good work :)
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-31-2006, 03:12 PM
:sl:

(This story seems to be getting worse. Sorry readers, I am trying my best).





Chapter Two

It was October and in the early mornings of the rather stormy day, the people of Mr. Dines household were abashed at the distressing news of Mr. Dines’ death. He had eaten well the night before and drunk a good number of cigars. The following morning he had settled at the fireplace with a cup of tea and a short time later had snoozed to sleep.
‘I tell you saw, I heard the noise.’ Mrs. Tuner spoke. Her face reddened as she used the term ‘noise.’
‘What do you mean when you say, noise?’ Frederick enquired.
Mrs. Turner lowered her gaze to her hands that were now resting below her belly, then looked up at Frederick as she spoke. ‘Mr. Dines were snoring Sir.’
Fredericks’ lips twitched as he hoped to laugh at the modesty of such an old lady. But, the aghast news of his father took away the twitch.
‘I entered the study to take away Mr. Dines’ cutlery as I knew that Mr. Dines sips his tea rather quickly so as to continue with his paper work. I noticed that the noise had gone and it only seemed right to see if Mr. Dine were…’, her eyes filled with tears.
Frederick looked softly at Mrs.Turner, drew a tissue from his pocket and handed it to her. He felt heartbroken for the lady as, unlike the other house maids, she too was not aware that Mr. Dines was expected by doctors, to die very soon. The doctors had told Mr. Dines and therefore Mr. Dines informed Frederick that he were not able to battle with the damaged lung with the extensive smoking. Mr. Dines was informed to cut down the number of cigars but due to his ignorance, he died.
‘I placed my finger to his nose and I noticed there were no breathing, there was no warmth. I am sorry sir, but I had to,’ she looked pleadingly to Frederick. Fredrick in turn nodded his head to re assure her she was not in trouble.
‘What next Mrs. Turner?’
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
07-31-2006, 03:52 PM
naa sis, its nice mashAllah, wallahi the descriptions, mashAllah!!!!!
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
07-31-2006, 04:28 PM
Originally Posted by Mazed
naa sis, its nice mashAllah, wallahi the descriptions, mashAllah!!!!!
:sl:
Hmm, yes, if you say so.
JazakAllah for your comments everyone.
:w:
Reply

Angel
07-31-2006, 05:27 PM
Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:
Hmm, yes, if you say so.
JazakAllah for your comments everyone.
:w:
siriely bro amazed is right
its great i dont see any difference from ur other great writen stories sis :)
i juz fink ur getting abit nervy hehhe ;D but dont worry ur stories will always be good sis masha allah
Reply

Ashley
07-31-2006, 05:29 PM
cool stories Ameeratul they are realy nice
do u wana be a writer or is writing ur hoby cuz ur realy good:statisfie
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
08-01-2006, 11:26 AM
:sl:
A bit nervy? Surely you can't blame me. :statisfie And jazakAllah for the kind words, they really are helping.:)


Originally Posted by Angel
siriely bro amazed is right
its great i dont see any difference from ur other great writen stories sis :)
i juz fink ur getting abit nervy hehhe ;D but dont worry ur stories will always be good sis masha allah


:sl:

Well, thank you Ashley.
No, I would like to become Physicist, God willing. Indeed something completely different to a writer. Its good? Well, thank you. I am glad you enjoy my stories.:)

Peace.

Originally Posted by Ashley
cool stories Ameeratul they are realy nice
do u wana be a writer or is writing ur hoby cuz ur realy good
Reply

Ashley
08-03-2006, 05:16 PM
do u have to write islamic stories or can it be any stories
cuz i love writing and reading alot and i was thinking if u can write any story i might share one with u lot:)
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
08-03-2006, 08:24 PM
Originally Posted by Ashley
do u have to write islamic stories or can it be any stories
cuz i love writing and reading alot and i was thinking if u can write any story i might share one with u lot:)
:sl:
As long as it has no sexaul parts to it, then it should be okay.God willing.
This story (unwanted) is not an 'islamic' story.

Peace
Reply

Ayesha Rana
11-18-2006, 02:23 PM
Cooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kiddo!
Reply

Tania
11-19-2006, 05:32 AM
The story is really good and i wish to know why have you said "UnWanted":? Also, i like your positive character from the book - Frederick :thumbs_up
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
04-10-2007, 12:03 PM
salam,

jazaks sis Tania.

wsalam
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 19
    Last Post: 11-10-2006, 06:54 PM
  2. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-06-2006, 07:35 PM

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!