Marrying for lust

[anonymous]

Anything wrong with that?

To relieve oneself in a halal way?

[Dawud_uk]

Anything wrong with that?

To relieve oneself in a halal way?

assalaamu alaykum,

you mean you have a lot of lust in you and therefore you wish to marry to protect yourself from the danger of zina and ill thought about the opposite gender?

the prophet Muhammad (saws) advised those who could afford it to marry and those who couldnt to fast, there level of being able to afford was also much lower than our own.

so it is a recommendation to marry under circumstances and insha'allah you will be successful in this.

assalaamu alaykum,
Daw'ud

[aakhirah]

Anything wrong with that?

To relieve oneself in a halal way?

:sl:

Although there's nothing wrong with this, we must remember that we must fulfil her rights (Huqooq) too which are laid down by the sharee'ah.

:w:

A.

[SirZubair]

One thing to take into consideration is, in 5 / 10 / 20 years time, your partner will no longer look the way they looked on your wedding night.

Ofcourse it is normal to want to marry someone attractive, and insha'allah you will find someone you are attracted to. But another thing you should keep in mind is, keep a look out for a partner whose PERSONALITY is also attractive.

So in other words,..beauty is in the eyes of the beerholder..

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[adi8putra]

Anything wrong with that?

To relieve oneself in a halal way?

i dont honestly think that marying just for lust is advisable in islam. is it? i do think that islam put responsibilities above any other reason for marriage. if u think that u cant be responsible after marriage, then just forget about it!....:grumbling

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


Lots of useful hadith and aayat from the Qur'an to support the idea of marriage insha'Allaah:

http://muttaqun.com/marriage.html


:wasalamex

[anonymous]

... because of that I want (need?) to marry a woman of certain looks. So puts me in a difficult situation...

Also what if you marry and when you see her for the first time without hijab and you don't like it, you can't exactly "return her" can you?

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


Go down the page and you'll see the title called:

Looking at a Prospective Spouse
http://members.tripod.com/maseeh1/advices7/id209.htm



You might find these links useful too insha'Allaahu ta'aala:

What is done between the engagement and the marriage contract, and the marriage contract and the wedding party?
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?re...txt=engagement


You might also find these links useful insha'Allaah:


Islam's Stance on Love and Marriage
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503544448


The Relationship between the Engaged Couple
http://www.islamonline.net/fatwa/eng...hFatwaID=19357


Ruling on engaged couple touching one another etc.
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?re...age%20contract

He wants to talk to a woman before he proposes marriage to her
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ln...QR=13791&dgn=4


more questions and answers related to this topic:
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?pg...pglist=&ln=eng


They may be indirect to your question, but you'll find them useful insha'Allaahu ta'aala.


:wasalamex

[Musaafirah]

One thing to take into consideration is, in 5 / 10 / 20 years time, your partner will no longer look the way they looked on your wedding night.

Ofcourse it is normal to want to marry someone attractive, and insha'allah you will find someone you are attracted to. But another thing you should keep in mind is, keep a look out for a partner whose PERSONALITY is also attractive.

So in other words,..beauty is in the eyes of the beerholder..

Sorry..this may seem irrelevant..but did you actually mean 'beerholder'? just wondering..

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


I think he meant 'beholder' ? :? Allaahu ta'aala a'lam. (Allaah Almighty knows best.)


:wasalamex

[SirZubair]

Sorry..this may seem irrelevant..but did you actually mean 'beerholder'? just wondering..

The actual saying is "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder".

"beauty is in the eyes of the beerholder" is a joke.

[sweetbanana86]

well my sister got married for similiar reason she and her husband were sneeking around and got caught so were sorta force to get married but it has seven years and they are still doing pretty good but

[Looking4Peace]

... because of that I want (need?) to marry a woman of certain looks. So puts me in a difficult situation...

Also what if you marry and when you see her for the first time without hijab and you don't like it, you can't exactly "return her" can you?

umm ok, the hijab does not cover a womens entire face which is what people are usually attracted to, so by her uncovering her hair and body, what would change your mind? i see girls in hijab all the time with beautiful faces, that really can only be hidden in niqaab which not many people wear in the united states.

[searchingsoul]

I wouldn't marry for lust alone. Make sure you respect the woman and love her. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to lust after your spouse, there just has to be more depth to the relationship.

[Muezzin]

Shouldn't really marry for lust alone. It won't be a 'happily ever after' in the long run if you do.

However, if your desires are getting the better of you, and the Islamic ways of dealing with it (e.g. fasting) aren't working, it's probably an indication that you need to tie the knot/take the plunge/get fettered with the old ball and chain.

I'm not saying people should marry for lust. Attraction does play an important part, but so do a bazillion other things, like how is she as a person? That's the real challenge, dude.

[Daffodil]

Marriage comes with rights and responsibilities, so long as u can fulfil them then theres nothing wrong in that.

[searchingsoul]

Marriage comes with rights and responsibilities, so long as u can fulfil them then theres nothing wrong in that.

You're right.

I've also been thinking that there's a lot of reasons why we marry. We may marry for security, companionship, money, children, and other reasons. Marrying to control your lust probably isn't a complete negative.

[Looking4Peace]

Well lust must be a part of it, how can someone marry someone who they arent attracted to, i know its not the whole thing but it is a part of bonding.

[SirZubair]

Well lust must be a part of it, how can someone marry someone who they arent attracted to, i know its not the whole thing but it is a part of bonding.

Ofcourse it is part of bonding :) but like you said yourself,.. "i know its not the whole thing.."

Alot of people don't think about it that way when they decide to get married these days.

There is a good reason why the divorce rate is raising.

And no, we can't blame global warming for this :p

[abid abid]

i dont honestly think that marying just for lust is advisable in islam. is it? i do think that islam put responsibilities above any other reason for marriage. if u think that u cant be responsible after marriage, then just forget about it!....:grumbling

i do not agree with you. if the person forget about marrying as advised by u, the lust is still there, so we will try to fulfil it through Zina. I think the person should marry and ask Allah for help and for right path.

[DigitalStorm82]

Asalamu Alaikum,

The first thing we should look for when marrying is how committed the person is to Islam.

Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness (adherence to Islam), but choose a religious woman and you will prosper." (Muslim) And he said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. You should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."(Bukhari) And he said, "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman." (Muslim)

The same holds true when looking for a husband, as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth." (Tirmidhi)


In another narration Prophet (sws) was asked which quality should they marry for... His reply was (religion) Deen Deen Deen... 3x.

May Allah increase you all in knowledge, Inshallah.

Ma'salaama,
Hamid