Euro-English the new Language!

[lavikor201]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the

troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. And efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Just to let you guys know, its a joke I got in an e-mail. :-) lol.

[lolwatever]

lool i got so freaked out when i read teh second paragraph!!!!!!

LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLL that's hilarious ;D

[Dahir]

I've heard that one before, but I thought this was the World Affairs section, and until the third paragraph I didn't realize it was the EU joke! :D

Man, that really got me for a minute! :offended: ;D

[מדינת ישׂראל]

lol. funny.

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[Woodrow]

das ist sehr interesent

[Riya90]

This should help all of you with spelling problems....





The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which
was
the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".




In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy.




The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spellingkan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou"
and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

[strider]

Haha.

[Beblessed]

:lol::thumbs_up

[united]

insted of German it reminds me of the Vitches in "Witches" by Rold Dal.
At least il be to old to be turned into a rat...

[Woodrow]

Funny but contains more truth than fiction. In essence the opposite is what happened when English began to separate from the Teutonic languages and incorporate more Latin.

[Bint-Al-Islam]

LOOL.. thats just funny.. thanx 4 sharing it :)

[Skillganon]

lol

[H4RUN]

do it ! before ze germanz get 'ere :p this gonna be kool, kontageous, finally ve r speakin on a level eh! It's offishal, it's not slang, it's the dojy new kwikly lernt english:D im lyking this:D

[Woodrow]

Dis ist geten out uf kontrol

[Al_Imaan]

do it ! before ze germanz get 'ere :p this gonna be kool, kontageous, finally ve r speakin on a level eh! It's offishal, it's not slang, it's the dojy new kwikly lernt english:D im lyking this:D

not I...ziz iz very frustrating......lol...from ze vay I se it...it's very kontageos.....
man, this is hard....^^how do u do it....:p

[H4RUN]

:sl:
im a naturaal at diz vun:p Follow ma leed, so kontaijus, ever so kontaijus, re peet after meh, v shall lern dis vun, and run tingz....ezi az tat:D vwala [voila:p]
:w:
oooh if dis was ofishal, if onli..

[syilla]

i'm getting a headache....

[Pk_#2]

That woz so irritating to read, i fink i finally know how people feel when i use too much text:hmm:

[Ayesha Rana]

Harharhar! Dat\'s wierd. i zont lyk ze german vay of speking;D

[H4RUN]

:sl:
ze wordz ' VIKID!, RIDIKULUSLI TRIFIK!, SHOKIN! AMAIZIN! FANBLEEDIN TASTIK! come to mind :D
:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

LOLLLLLL SUBHANALLAH THIS GOT ME PROPA CRAKED UP HAHAHAHA ;D ;D ;D


*wipes tears* lolll :D

[Woodrow]

That woz so irritating to read, i fink i finally know how people feel when i use too much text

Und Ve haf vays uf gebringin gestoppen fuer das text speek.

[aLiTTLeTiMe]

so funny :)

[Ayesha Rana]

Rofl! did not kno zat u lot haf a sens of humor. I prefer ze english languij over German becoz German is ridikulusli vierd;D

[Lina]

:sl:

U can all laugh,

but a lot of Germans do talk like that.



and..ehm..

the dutch..

[aLiTTLeTiMe]

how is gone :) we dont understand anything :)

[hijabisis]

lol!!!:thumbs_up

[IceQueen~]

*rofl* good one

[Muezzin]

Wie heisst du?

Hast du geschwestern?

Wo ist mein hose?

Heh, that email message sort of reminds me of Newspeak from '1984'.

[thirdwatch512]

omg i thought that was really a thing for a second!! lol

[lavikor201]

Funny but contains more truth than fiction. In essence the opposite is what happened when English began to separate from the Teutonic languages and incorporate more Latin.

Really?

[Woodrow]

Really?

It had to do with the "Great letter" shift of the 1600s I believe. At that point there was almost an instant change in the pronunciation of words. Plus almost overnight English lost some letters in the alphabet and gained others. Up to then the 2 languages were almost indistinguishable.

The old German V became a W which was a new letter. The Germans retained the V pronunciation English came up with a double U pronunciation as that is what the W resembled to them.

Then there was the lose of the letter thorn Which had a pronunciation not to far from the common German tche. Plus the addition of French and Spanish added to the pronunciation changes and many of the old German pronunciations became softened.

The end result is now German resembles mispronounced English and English resembles mispronounced German.