I want a BIG personality change

[anonymous]

asalamulakum brothers and sisters.

this is how i have been feeling over the past few weeks:
i feel like a nobody. last week i was thinking about how i feel. im only alive phsically. otherwise i feel dead.
i feel like an animal: eating sleeping. ibaadah...hmm....???? when i am doing ibaadah, i feel as if im not doing it proplery (see below about prayers)
i feel like a hypocrite: i tell people things i dont do. i.e i tell them that i would do siomething for them, but i dont out of laziness. this is not my intention at the time i tell them. Ive also noticed that i image if soomeone (like for eg...just anyone, depends on the sisutation) saw me doing sucha and such action, i may not do what i intended to do because they can see me. like i get embarresed because they are there. where is my fear of allah?
i feel that i need to get back to basics
sometimes i feel that i want the dunya. then i thbnk, maryasm you can get better things in jannah. eg with food. i keep getting hungry or i just feel like eating.
i find myself desireing the most forbdden things to me.
at one point i thought to myself that i just want to be someone else. i fed up with me. why can't i be like that person.
Everytrime I listen or read, it just feels like it dosn't sink in. its not just an orrdinary low level of iman, as most people will feel. i feel its something more serious than that. i feel that i can't relax during dua, without satan whiospering all thee ridiculus thoughts. And thinking to myself! lets not even go there. i cant even thibnk to myself sometimes, without satan whispering to me all these thoughts.
Sometimes i relefect on how i was like, in regards to my iman, and i feel really sad. like before i was going through this, my iman was generaslly reaaly good. well wallahu alam, but thats how i felt.

and my prayers...or should i say lack. this is where my very chronic whiswaas satrted from. like a few months back.
my problem during my prayers, is that i take too long due to the fact satan whispers to me that my joints aren't relaxed (refer to the hadtith about the man who didn't pray properly, and the prophet-sallalahu aleyhi wa salam-told him to go back and pray) so this takes me longer. then what happens next is that my muscles become tense and heavy, which takes me even longer because that causes me to loose tranquilty. so basically this is how i pray. i stand, recite, go down for rukoo, wait for as long as it takes. during this time, the above happens (muscles/body becomes heavy etc). the on top of all this, this is where the chronic wiswaas comes in. the ones about shirk etc.
is this excessiveness?
iy dosn't make sense to me that something that has to be dome 5 times a day, should be so hard.
sometimes, alhamudulilah, i break from this habit, but somehow, i manage to revert to it again. when this happens, i generally get frustrated.
i think and ask myself, shoudn't the fact that yur feeling like this, be an excuse to brerak your bad habits.

so to sum up: i want a BIG personality change and need adbice on how to go about it.
anyways, thats about it.

:sl:

[samsam]

you should just pray to allah
and try and pray all 5 prayers you ar going t obe asked on the day of judgement.

May allah help

PS:come on people, more reply's

[gladTidings]

:sl:

Firstly I pray that Allah will guide you and protect you from the evils of satanic whispers.

It seems like youre hoping for quite a drastic change over night, but its not likely to happen. Changing your personality is not like a makeover, but more realistically a gradual process..

I would advise you to write down all the characteristics of your personality that you would like to change, give yourself a reason as to why this change is important and list the benefits. Alongside each of these characteristics list the features that you want, and aim towards them. Be sincere, firm and have hope. InshAllah you will achieve what you wish for.

Also aim to improve your knowledge of islam, this should help build up your love for Allah subhan wa ta'ala, even if you feel you have to restart from the basics. Keep your knowledge refreshed by passing it on to others... it really helps:) .

Final point : Dont make false promises, be realistic and truthful to yourself and more importantly to others.

Allah (swt ), says:

" And fulfill the Covenant of Allah when you have entered into it, and break not your oaths after you have confirmed them: Indeed you have made Allah your surety for Allah knows all that you do" (Qur'an16:91)

May Allah make it easy for you:)

[Woodrow]

You have already taken a very big step. You have acknowledged something is not right.

Now, for the rest. I believe you have already been given information about what you need to do by the previous polls. so I am not going to repeat them.

I just want to say that your feelings are not unussualy and do happen to nearly all of as at least once in our lives.

It is a funny thing about prayer, we start very eager as young children wanting to learn how to pray. Soon it becomes a chore, to be challanged and tackled, then it becomes a routine duty.

Now, at some point in our life we get slammed between the eyes with a doubt of faith. A lack of belief in the use of prayer. It is a challange we need to fight our way through. But, the end result is wonderfull. Then we truly know what it is like to pray because we want to and truly enjoy it. It is not a challange it is an enjoyable duty that we look foreward to.

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[Snowflake]

Salam Anonymous,

You have a great personality already! You're a good person who loves Allah, otherwise these things would not bother you so much. Your imaan is already there in your heart too but it's light is clouded by feelings of anxiety and depression. Everything you've described points to depression.

Just like the body, the mind can also get ill. Every experience in life affects us, and negative ones may be locked away for some time only to resurface later, causing depression and anxiety. Sometimes we reach a certain point where we think that all our goodness didn't pay off and that being good doesn't get you anywhere, at least in this life on earth. This can weaken our beliefs, our morals, our willpower and take away the joy of living. The shaitaan plays on this and we become like putty in his hands.

InshaAllah, you will get better. Depression affects not just the mind but the whole body. Physically it makes you feel heavy, burdened and weak. No wonder then offering salah seems so difficult.

SubhanAllah, Islam acknowleges depression and anxiety and has prescribed duaas to overcome this illness. This is one of the remedies prescribed in sharee’ah.

Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him): “There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatija naasyati bi yadika, maada fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa dhihaab hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety),’ but Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy.”


Do not give up offering salah because of waswaas. Rather before salah, make duaa for protection from the shaitaan. If thoughts come during salah, make duaa in your heart. In your heart, curse the shaitaan and tell him that he cannot change your belief of the Oneness of Allah and His right to be worshipped. And that he is the loser and the cursed one. I do this and it helps me when I get bad thoughts during salah.

I would also recommend eating foods that heal, such as honey and black seed oil. Drink plenty of water and eat easily digestable foods that don't burden your already stressed body. Allah has put shafa in food and sometimes just merely changing one's diet can work wonders for the mind and body. For a supplement you can take St John's Wort, which is very beneficial in treating depression inshaAllah.

Lastly, don't fear Allah to the extent that you lose hope of His Forgiveness. Yes, there is no excuse for missing salah, but there is also no excuse for not having hope of forgiveness. Only Allah knows the extent of your suffering. It is His will in what he may forgive and what He may not. Make duaa to Allah to heal you, and for forgiveness. He knows what you want. But He wants you to ask Him for it, InshaAllah.

I am researching more stuff that will be beneficial to you inshaAllah. Will post it as soon as I can. I pray Allah heals you and replaces your anxiety and sadness with happiness and peace of mind. Ameen.

:w:

[Kittygyal]

salam.
humm it's best to talk to your nearby Sheik maybe you have got jinn gudness knows but just incase you have find out.
w.salam

[akulion]

u need to get out more and meet people and have a healthy social life

99% of such cases are related to seclusion and lack of having a healthy social life

[Tania]

Everyone has up and downs in his life. If you are the bro from the help thread i am not surprised because if you are in love than is more difficult to concentrate.

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


Seek refuge in Allaah from laziness:

‘O Allaah, I am Your servant, son of Your servant, son of Your maidservant, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You name Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety.’

-----

‘O Allaah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men.’


-----

‘Allaah is the greatest, Allaah is the greatest, Allaah is the greatest, How perfect He is, The One Who has place this (transport) at our service, and we ourselves would not have been capable of that, and to our Lord if our final destiny. O Allaah, we ask You for birr and taqwaa in this journey of ours, and we ask You for deeds which please You. O Allaah, facilitate our journey and let us cover its distance quickly. O Allaah, You are The Companion on the journey and The Successor over the family, O Allaah, I take refuge with You from the difficulties of travel, from having a change of hearts and being in a bad predicament, and I take refuge in You from an ill fated outcome with wealth and family.’

----

The dua's above are from http://makedua.com and are all from authentic ahadith insha'Allaah.


Al-Haakim reported in al-Mustadrak, and al-Tabaraani reported in al-Mu’jam, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Faith wears out in the heart of any one of you just as clothes wear out, so ask Allaah to renew the faith in your hearts.” (Reported by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak, 1/4;. Al-Haythami said in Majma’ al-Zawaa’id, 1/52, “It was reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer and its isnaad is saheeh.”)

This Hadith tells us that our faith will become weak but we will have to strengthen it with various actions and different good deeds. And more importantly, by asking Allaah Almighty to renew our faith insha'Allaah.




This might be through learning more about islam. Try looking in the islamic multimedia section to download some interesting islamic lectures insha'Allaah:

http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-multimedia/


http://www.sahaba.net/

http://muttaqun.com/

http://www.islamicboard.com/biograph...lamic-figures/

http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ln=eng





Also, refer to this post insha'Allaah regarding waswasa (satanic whispers):
http://www.islamicboard.com/434618-post7.html





Try doing new activities, for instance instead of just praying all the time; pray sometimes, write islamic stories sometimes, give da'wah (call people to islam), listen to lectures, help family and friends out to please Allaah Almighty etc. you will be rewarded for all of these acts insha'Allaah, just keep a good intention and keep praying to Allaah to strenghthen your faith and to keep us all on the right path insha'Allaah.



Allaah Almighty knows best.



:wasalamex

[azim]

Asalaamu alaykum.

Bro/sis, I know how you're feeling, its an iman-low. For someone who once had iman, for it to decrease is a terrible feeling, and shaytaan exploits it in every possible way.

There is a hadith where the Prophet (pbuh) says "Iman wears out in the heart just as your clothes do - so ask Allah to renew your faith".

So what should you do? Ask Allah to renew the faith in your heart. Insha'allah as long as you hold fast to the rope of Allah you will be safe.

Even if when you pray - you feel empty or that its pointless. Don't stop - just keep praying. Prayer (both dua and salah) are your lifeline.

Right now your out at sea being thrown about by the waves - prayer acts like a rope that pulls you back to land. And the one who pulls is none other than Allah. So please bro/sis, keep praying.

Insha'allah take it easy. Remember the hadith: -

The Prophet said: 'The religion (of Islam) is easy. No one ever made it difficult without it becoming too much for him. So avoid extremes and strike a balance, do the best you can and be cheerful, and seek Allah's help (through prayer) in the morning, and evening, and part of the night.' (Sahîh Bukhâri)

Soon enough, as long as your steadfast in Islam - your faith will return, stronger and more fiery. It is at moments of weakness that you truly become strong.

May Allah guide us all and save us from the fire.

Ameen.

Asalaamu alaykum.

[anonymous]

:sl: bothers and sisters
jazakallahu khair everyone. very helpful advice. all i have to do now is stop being sooo lazy. its killing me. or its about to.
sometimes i think to myself, im soo not going to hell because of this. the thought of me goping to hell for this small problem, is kinda disturbing.
:sl:

[anonymous]

:sl: brothers and sisters. again.
io just wantd to ask a quick question. i know that satan stops annoying one when one become a kaafir/musrik (wa a'ootho billah, and I seek refuge with allah). why i stateed this is that sometimes i think that i may have done something really bad, i.e kufr/shirk. but after a few minuets/hours i get bad wiswaas again. my quesion is: is it possible that shaytaan causes you to do something, than makes you think that you havn't done it, so that you dont repent. or example, n my case, it would be i may have commited shirk, but shaytaan whisprs to me that i havn't, so that i don't repent. get the drift? is that possible.

:sl:

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


I think that this is a really big trick of shaytan, and he uses this against alot of people so that they give up their hope in Allaah Almighty.


One example of this is when people have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder [OCD]:

The Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said:

“Beware the whispers with regard to water (i.e., wudoo’) which is caused by a devil called al-Walhaan” – because that causes a person to go to extremes with regard to doing wudoo’, as was explained in Sharh Mishkaat al-Anwaar.

----

This is from another post, so some things might not relate to you. But its referring to the waswasa (satanic whispers) so it might be of some help insha'Allaah.



jazak Allaah khayr for explaining your situation, because the cure to ignorance is asking, as our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his beloved family) said.



I just want you to know that what you are experiencing now is quite common to happen to the believer (the mu'min) and it is a sign of faith. In islam, its called waswasa (the whisperings of satan) and it is one of the ways shaytan will try to put someone off the right path.


Its also important to remember that one of the main reasons you feel weak is because you believe in Allaah, but you don't have any evidence in your mind to prove those satanic thoughts wrong. And the only cure to that is by reading more and more from the Qur'an and Sunnah to clear the misconceptions that satan puts in your mind. This way, the more evidence you have - the more stronger a believer you will become insha'Allaah, and the more evidence you will have to drive away them satanic thoughts insha'Allaah.

We advise you not to pay any attention to these whispers, and to ignore them, and to do the opposite of what they are calling you to do. For these whispers (waswaas) come from the Shaytaan to cause grief to those who believe. The best way to deal with them is to remember Allaah a great deal (dhikr), to seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan [by saying: a`udhu billahi mina ash-shaytani ar-rajim; I seek refuge and protection in Allah from Satan, the accursed).], to keep away from sins and wrong actions which are the means by which Iblees gains control over the sons of Adam. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, he [the Shaytaan] has no power over those who believe and put their trust only in their Lord (Allaah)”

[al-Nahl 16:99]

It is worth quoting here what Ibn Hajar al-Haythami (may Allaah have mercy on him) said about dealing with waswasah in his book al-Fataawa al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kubra, 1/149. This is what he said:

“He was asked about the problem of waswasah (insinuating whispers from the Shaytaan), and whether there is a remedy for it.

He replied by saying that there is an effective remedy for it, which is to ignore them completely, no matter how frequently they may come to mind. When these whispers are ignored, they do not become established, rather they go away after a short time, as many people have experienced. But for those who pay attention to them and act upon them, they increase until they make him like one who is insane or even worse, as we see among many of those who have suffered from them and paid attention to them and to the devil whose task it is to insinuate these whispers, whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned us against when he said, “Beware the whispers with regard to water (i.e., wudoo’) which is caused by a devil called al-Walhaan” – because that causes a person to go to extremes with regard to doing wudoo’, as was explained in Sharh Mishkaat al-Anwaar.


In al-Saheehayn there is a report which supports what has been mentioned above, which is that whoever suffers from waswaas should seek refuge with Allaah and turn away from the waswaas. So think about this effective remedy which was taught by the one who does not speak of his own whims and desires to his ummah, and understand that whoever is deprived of this is deprived of all goodness, because waswasah comes from the Shaytaan, according to scholarly consensus, and the accursed one (the Shaytaan) has no other desire than to make the believers go astray, make them confused, make their life a misery, cause them distress to the extent that they leave Islam without realizing it.

“Surely, Shaytaan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so take (treat) him as an enemy”

[Faatir 35:6 – interpretation of the meaning]

According to another hadeeth, the one who suffers from waswasah should say, “Aamantu Billaahi wa bi rusulihi (I believe in Allaah and in His Messengers).” Undoubtedly, whoever thinks of the paths of the Messengers of Allaah, especially our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) will find that his path and his law is easy and clear, with no hardship in it.

“… and has not laid upon you in religion any hardship”

[al-Hajj 22:78 – interpretation of the meaning]

Whoever ponders this and believes in it sincerely, the problem of waswasah and listening to the Shaytaan will go away. In the book of Ibn al-Sunni it is narrated via ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), “Whoever suffers from this waswaas, let him say ‘Aamantu Billaahi wa bi rusulihi (I believe in Allaah and in His Messengers)’, three times, and it will go away from him.”

Al-‘Izz ibn ‘Abd al-Salaam and others mentioned something similar to the above. They said: the treatment for waswasah is to believe that this is an idea from the Shaytaan and that Iblees is the one who is bringing these thoughts to his mind, and he should strive to fight him. Then he will have the reward of the mujaahid, because he is fighting the enemy of Allaah. If he does that, then the Shaytaan will flee from him. This is what mankind has been tested with from the beginning of time, and Allaah has given him (Iblees) some power over man as a test for him, so that Allaah may show the truth to be true and falsehood to be false, even though the disbelievers may hate that.


In Muslim, hadeeth no. 2203, it is narrated that ‘Uthmaan ibn Abi’l-‘Aas said: “The Shaytaan was interfering with my prayer and recitation of Qur’aan. He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ] said: ‘That is a devil called Khanzab, so seek refuge with Allaah from him and spit drily to your left three times.’ I did that, and Allaah took him away from me.”

This hadeeth proves the point we are making, which is that waswasah can only overpower the one who is ignorant and confused and does not know what’s what. But the one who has knowledge and understanding will the Sunnah and keep away from bid’ah. The worst of the innovators are those who follow waswaas, hence Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated that his shaykh al-Rabee’ – who was the imam of the people of his time – was the fastest of the people in relieving himself and doing wudoo’.


Ibn Hurmuz used to be slow in relieving himself and in doing wudoo’, and he used to say “I have a problem, do not follow my example.”


Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said that one of the scholars thought it was mustahabb for the one who was affected by waswasah with regard to his wudoo or prayer to say Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah, for when the Shaytaan hears dhikr (remembrance of Allaah) he slinks away, and Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah is the best of dhikr, and the most effective remedy for warding off waswasah is to remember Allaah a great deal.

We ask Allaah to take away the waswasah that you are suffering and to increase us and you in faith, righteousness and piety. Ameen.

And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)

http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&QR=62839

I strongly encourage you to read the following threads too:

Soul Selling
http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...l-selling.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...8-did-you.html


Satanic Whispers: Meaning & Remedy
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503544296



You may feel afraid that you're sinful for this act, even though its not your fault. But alhamdulillah (praise be to Allaah Almighty) - our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“Allaah has forgiven for my ummah that which is whispered to them and which crosses their minds, so long as they do not act upon it or speak of it.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6664; Muslim, 127)

Allaah Almighty says in the Qur'an:

We send down (stage by stage) in the Qur'an that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe: to the unjust it causes nothing but loss after loss. (17:82)

So listening and reciting to the Qur'an (especially surah falaq (113) and surah nas (114)) may help insha'Allaah:

http://quran.jalisi.com (beautiful Qur'an recitations - Sa'ad al ghamdi)

-----


http://www.sabbir.com/DownloadHalal.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/biograph...+the+believers


and try downloading some lectures to learn more about islam, because the cure to ignorance is knowledge insha'Allaah.

http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-multimedia/



Allaahu ta'aala a'lam. (Allaah Almighty knows best.)


If you got any questions, please do ask insha'Allaah. jazak Allaah khayr.

I think you should check this link out also insha'Allaah:

http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...need-help.html



When a person has faith, then shaytan will keep whispering to the person to try to distract them from the siraat-ul mustaqeem (the straight path) . So keep remembering Allaah, and keep praising Allaah (i.e. subhan Allaah, alhamdulillah, Allaahu akbar, La illaah illallaah etc.)


Whenever you pray 5 daily prayers, then concentrate on what you say, because within surah fatiha - you recite 'ikhdinas-siraat-al mustaqeem' (guide us to the straight path.) - and if you're sincere in this, Allaah Almighty will keep you on the straight path insha'Allaah, because you pray this surah about 17times a day [minimum] (when you pray your 5 daily salaah/prayers.)


If you remember Allaah Almighty at times of ease, Allaah will remember you at times of hardship insha'Allaah.


We will keep you in our dua's insha'Allaah. :)


:wasalamex

[Snowflake]

Salam Anonymous,

Hope you are feeling better by the Grace of Allah. I posted '25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety' in this section. I had meant to post it here originally, but thought it'd be of benefit to everyone inshaAllah. Please read it. I hope it helps. :)

wa'salam