Children's Rights in Islam!

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

Hi I usually clash with my farther, I'm hotheaded and I get annoyed easily my farthers firey Temper doesn't help, he shouts at me for any reason and then acts shocked when I shout back, the usual "I'm Your farther I've got rights" I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been through this,seems some parents manage to forget their adab when addressing their children but suddenly remember it when the children act back isn't the whole respect thing 50/50 if one party isn't pulling their weight it isn't gonna work I have spoken to him about it but just had a argument with him a few mins ago, my mum stays nutural but takes my farther side even though I'm in the right, so what can I do I have tried and tried, I don't wanna hear the whole "Oh your parents now best ect" speech cause it's getting old I'm his child not his slave such father,child relationships constitue oppression if the parent holds the view they can say what they want and always be right and sin free, funny thing is the last thing i said to him is "you aint got no adab then he shouted it back at me" I'm trying my best I know I need to change I'm considering moving out to avoid confrentations and save my self from future sin truth be told our personalities aint compatible.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Insulting and Disobeying Parents: A Major Sin

Here's some Hadiths regarding this matter. Maybe it might help, InshAllah.

The Prophet (peace be on him) not only prohibited insulting or cursing one's parents but declared it to be a major sin. He said, 'Among the major sins is a man's cursing his parents.' The people who were present wondered how a sane and believing individual could curse his own parents, and enquired, 'How is it possible for a man to curse his own parents?' The Prophet (peace be on him) replied, 'He insults another man's father, and then the other insults his father, and he insults the other's mother, and the other returns the insult to his mother.' (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)


The Prophet (peace be on him) declared disobedience to parents to be a major sin, second only to ascribing partners to Allah, as has been stated in the Qur'an. Al-Bukhari and Muslim report his saying, 'Shall I not inform you about the three major sins?' Those who were present replied, 'Yes, O Messenger of Allah.' He said 'Associating partners with Allah and disobedience to parents,' and sitting up from the reclining position, he continued, 'and telling lies and false testimony; beware of it.'
He also said, "Three persons shall not enter the Garden: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the pimp, and the woman who imitates men.'' (Reported by al-Nisai, al-Bazzar on the authority of excellent transmitters, and al-Hakim) and, "Allah defers (the punishment of) all sins to the Day of Resurrection excepting disobedience to parents, for which Allah punishes the sinner in this life before his death."(Reported by al-Hakim, on the authority of sound transmitters.)

Moreover, Islam emphasizes treating parents kindly, especially when they grow old. As their strength fails, they require more attention and care, and more consideration of their even more sensitive feelings. Concerning this the Qur'an says, Thy Lord hath decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. If one or both of them attain old age with thee, do not say a word of annoyance (Literally, "Do not say Uff! (an expression of annoyance) to them." (Trans.)) to them nor repulse them, but speak to them in gracious words and in mercy lower to them the wing of humility and say, My Lord, bestow Thy mercy othem, as they cherished me when I was little....(17:23-24)

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

well do you think that if you shout back it would make the situation any better??

The one thing you need to learn is TOLERANCE.

Allah says to us:

Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good;-[B] 3:134[/B]

The Rasul sallahu alayhi wa salaam said:

“If one of you becomes angry then he should be silent.”

I know that after you cool off (since you just had an argument with your dad) that you probably regret being angry at him (inshallah),

Even if he's in the wrong, you should stay quiet. After he cools down apoligize and try to speak to him NICELY without attitude. Attitude is arrogance. This is your father whether in the wrong or right, and as long as you are his daughter, he will always be right (in his mind).

I'm trying my best I know I need to change I'm considering moving out to avoid confrentations and save my self from future sin truth be told our personalities aint compatible.

If you can't tolerate your own father, what makes you think you will be able to tolerate the rest of the world?? YOu can't run away everytime you lose your temper or don't get along with someone. You are basically letting shaitan take over your body when you are angry, but Allah gave you a choice of whether to contain that anger, or let it out. Contain your anger infront of your father, and then let it out, just don't do it infront of your him. Get what I'm saying? Every parent wants to hold the PRIDE of being a parent, if they felt that they had to lower to your level one bit, they have lost that pride.

I recommend you read this article and this

May Allah guide us all ameen.

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

Both of you are right, I get angry with my mum but It doesn't turn into a full scale argument, it's just the way my farther is he pushes my buttons and I have expressed to him that he does this and he said he'll change but he hasn't,I feel my farther would benifit from these articles and I might show it to them can any of provide me with hadiths which show the rights of children cause no offense this is what a problem is parents thinking they can walk-all over their children and hide behind islam when they confronted.

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[AnonymousPoster]

:salamext:

“Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah will call him before all of mankind on the Day of Resurrection, and will let him choose of the Hoor al-‘Ayn whoever he wants.”(Reported by Aboo Daawood, 4777, and others. It is classified as hasan in Sahih al-Jaami‘, 6518).

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “The strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in wrestling); rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry.” (Reported by Ahmad, 2/236; the hadeeth is agreed upon) . The greater the anger, the higher the status of the one who controls himself. The Prophet (saws) said: “The strongest man is the one who, when he gets angry and his face reddens and his hackles rise, is able to defeat his anger.” (Reported by Imam Ahmad, 5/367, and classified as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami‘, 3859)

Anas reported that the Prophet (saws) passed by some people who were wrestling. He asked, “What is this?” They said: “So-and-so is the strongest, he can beat anybody.” The Prophet (saws) said, “Shall I not tell you who is even stronger then him? The man who, when he is mistreated by another, controls his anger, has defeated his own Shaytan and the Shaytan of the one who made him angry.”(Reported by al-Bazzaar, and Ibn Hajr said its isnaad is saheeh. Al-Fath, 10/519)

“spend (in Allah's Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, [they] repress anger, and [they] pardon men; verily, Allah loves al-muhsinoon (the good-doers).” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:134]


“. . . when they are angry, they forgive.”[al-Shooraa 42:47]


“O Allah, by Your knowledge of the Unseen and Your power over Your creation, keep me alive for as long as You know life is good for me, and cause me to die when You know death is good for me. O Allah, I ask You to make me fear You in secret and in public, and I ask You to make me speak the truth in times of contentment and of anger. I ask You not to let me be extravagant in poverty or in prosperity. I ask You for continuous blessings, and for contentment that does not end. I ask You to let me accept Your decree, and for a good life after death. I ask You for the joy of seeing Your face and for the longing to meet You, without going through diseases and misguiding fitnah (trials). O Allah, adorn us with the adornment of faith and make us among those who are guided. Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.” (Saheeh al-Jaami‘, 3039)

:wasalamex

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Children, according to Islam, are entitled to various rights. The first and foremost of these rights is the right to be properly brought up, raised and educated. This means that children should be given suitable, sufficient, sound and adequate religious, ethical and moral guidance to last them for their entire lives. They should be engraved with true values, the meaning of right and wrong, true and false, correct and incorrect, appropriate and inappropriate and so forth and so on. Allah, the Almighty stated in the Glorious Qur’an:

"O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones." (66:6)

Allah’s Apostle, PBUH also said: "Every one of you (people) is a shepherd. And every one is responsible for whatever falls under his responsibility. A man is like a shepherd of his own family, and he is responsible for them." This Hadith is reported by both Bukhari and Muslim.

Children, therefore are a trust given to the parents. Parents will be responsible for this trust on the Day of Judgement. Parents are essentially responsible for the moral, ethical and the basic and essential religious teachings of their children.

If parents fulfill this responsibility, they will be free of the consequences on the Day of Judgement. The children will become better citizens and a pleasure to the eyes of their parents, first in this life, and in the hereafter.

Allah, the Almighty stated in the Glorious Quran:

"And those who believe and whose families follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their families: Nor shall We deprive them (of the fruit) of aught of their works: (Yet) is each individual in pledge for his deeds." (52:21)

Moreover, Allah's Apostle, PBUH said: "Upon death, man's deeds will (definitely) stop except for three deeds, namely: a continuous charitable fund, endowment or goodwill; knowledge left for people to benefit from; and pious righteous and God-fearing child who continuously prays Allah, the Almighty, for the soul of his parents." This Hadith is reported by Muslim.

In fact, such a statement reflects the value of the proper upbringing of children. It has an everlasting effect, even after death.

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

well sis, if your father has a terrible temper/patience then those ahadith apply to him as well. Although even if he ignores those ahadith, then you should still try to contain your side of anger inshallah. It really doesnt have anything to do with being a child or an adult. A mature child is tolerant, and a childish adult is angry. One of the signs of the day of judgement is the child will seem more like the parent, and the parent more like the child.

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

Jazzakallah for the advice

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl: brothers ad sisiters

do u have this dua in arabic
“O Allah, by Your knowledge of the Unseen and Your power over Your creation, keep me alive for as long as You know life is good for me, and cause me to die when You know death is good for me. O Allah, I ask You to make me fear You in secret and in public, and I ask You to make me speak the truth in times of contentment and of anger. I ask You not to let me be extravagant in poverty or in prosperity. I ask You for continuous blessings, and for contentment that does not end. I ask You to let me accept Your decree, and for a good life after death. I ask You for the joy of seeing Your face and for the longing to meet You, without going through diseases and misguiding fitnah (trials). O Allah, adorn us with the adornment of faith and make us among those who are guided. Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.” (Saheeh al-Jaami‘, 3039)

jazakalahu khair
:sl: