The importance of being real.

[Curaezipirid]

Alaikumassalam,

I feel quite odd to be begining a thread in this forum during Ramadan. But that is only because there exist circumstances in my life that I normally never expose. Only in Ramadan could it be safe to because in Ramadan these circumstances are a matter only for my own self. Yet the reason I find my self needing to expose any of this story is simply because I made a post in the thread asking to post special du'a for Ramadan.

My du'a is for that my family be enabled to protect children better.

I had been wondering why I was making a variety of posts that are in exposing my self since Ramadan began; then when I posted du'a I knew.

Also it is simply that there are so many very peculiar posts spread around these forums by now; and that alone is cause for me to be put upon to provide some logical explaination to much of what I have reported as life events, but which seem incredible. I have existed within a life story that opens that key of questioning what amout of knowledge can by accident beg disbelief. That is to say that my own real immediate life experience could only be perceived as impossible by almost all persons. Yet here I am and I am living in a set of conditions by which I am defined by that which most persons regard as impossible.

For example: most mainstream Australians regard that it is impossible for any person raised within mainstream Australia to return to the Traditional Aboriginal belief systems of many of our ancestors, and also that it is impossible for a mainstream Australian to become a Muslim; but putting both of those together and I am positively in need of refuting the existance of, to the mainstream Australian mind. This is the fundamental cause of the fact that my children are not living with me and I have not yet been able to obtain the social and legal support required to return my children to the safety of my own custody. I am simply not being believed in. So then folk tend to expect I must be insane, and allocate such labelling, thereby discrediting me further. There is sound clinical evidence that I am not able to be forced into a legal definition of insanity; but the Family court is not accepting that evidence because it is being presented by me. Government legal aid funding is not provided for me because the case is unlikely to succeed, but thereby having made it seem to be unlikely to succeed.

Here, further to what I have already posted, I will only mention minimally some of the occurrances in my life which accord that my own evidence of reality is that which few have been able to sustain belief in. I should not need to be crying out that I am innocent of the fact that my beliefs are fully evidenced in the world, but that is what I am enduring.

(here first note that I can only slip and fall in the first instance as is the Australian Aboriginal way)

My mother can barely recall my birth but I have had repeated Dreams of being born and landing on my head on the floor, and my mother screaming: "what have you done to my baby". But I can not know this since I have not gone through any hospital records to validate. But I do know it was snowing and my father built a snowman; and that my mother's labour was completed within twenty minutes of her realising she was in labour.

I am raised a devout Christian. But my father is a scientist and will not take communion because he has no evidence of Jesus crucifiction and resurrection. So after confirmation when I was fourteen, I also could not believe. But then I learned a Muslim teaching about the science of the last supper and Jesus ressurection, and after that can only believe.

My family were often oriented towards friendships with persons from other parts of the world; and I was very often exposed to a large variety of unusual beliefs and taught to repect each persons way of sustaining Faith.

My family have been in a dispute since I am three; and around the birth of my sister. Also not long after she was born we were both being regularly looked after at a house where there were persons whom abused us. We were taken there so that my mother could work for money as a school teacher. In 2003 my father apologised for the enduring pressure that I was under in perceiving that he and my mother were not reconciling the family finances correctly since even before that time; but he falls into memory lapses about ever having had need to apologise. I experienced a uterine prolapse which commenced when I was three from an accident, that is humorous now.

Our family made three large moves of location before I was twelve, but then stayed in one place only for the benefit of my education. Also my father had completed a PhD in organic chemistry when I was five and was offered specialised work in America that he could not afford to take up with a young family. His work laid the foundations for the magnetic resonancing machinery in modern hospitals.

I was a rebellious teenager but since I had never experienced any feeling of belonging among any of my peers I was not accepted within ordinary forms of teenage rebellion. Thereby I never fell to.

I went to New Zealand in 1984 by my families generosity; and then again in 1986-7 by my own efforts in waitressing at the Punjabi restaraunt that a friend's father owned and was chef at. During the second journey to New Zealand I was caught in an actual landslide up in the mountains, and my self and those I travelled with were all rescued by helicopter eventually, but all realising we were lucky to be alive. The event caused that I have never since had any sustainable Faith in safety supplied by the works of men. The full story of that event is also very very humourous. But then, I also learned rockclimbing as a teenager and I often found it quite hilarious when there was no option but to realise true danger, yet always within immediate personal safety. I often find my self within situations of being so close to immediate danger as to perceive its nature, yet ever certain that I am safe from. The humour is in realising that we each cause every instance of danger we enter. Somehow that stability was with me from early.

I was a volunteer for a community youth sound system access group. We were an incorporated body who owned the PA and ran it at a reduced cost for any group who was making a fundraising concert. Also some commerical work to raise the funds to cover the other work. I received training in sound mixing work. It was useful socially also because my peers were all out getting drunk and attending music concerts, but I had a work funcition at such events that enabled me to not go without social knowledge when I never could feel included otherwise. All my acquaintances gradually became other persons whom felt different for one reason or another; and while we usually had little else in common, the feeling of no place to belong was in common. This group of people seems to be a mixture of shaytan and youth seeking a form within which their true belief can be expressed, and is a constant part of Australian youth culture. We either learn the hard way and land on our feet, or stay outside of mainstream culture.

My first full time job was as a community radio liason officer at Community Radio 2XX. That is a radio station which has a license specifically for enabling minority points of veiw to receive air play. My job was to provide a bridge between the technology and people in the community who were not trained in the use of. I became very rapidly educated in a vast array of minority community points of veiw. For example: among my first tasks were making sound recordings for airplay of a woman speaking about the plight of the Kurdish people; and two well known Aboriginal activists speaking about the need to boycott Australian bicentenary celebrations.

At the beginning of the Bicentenary of Captain Cook planting a British flag on Australian soil and declaring Australia legally "terra nulluis" (land with no Humans); I was most honoured and lucky to be present quite by accident at a Traditionally Oriented Aboriginal Corroboree on the eve and dawn of the exact 200th anniversary of that event. The Corroboree was made for re-establishing traditional Kinship systems, and can be comprehended alike to the fact of reuniting the Ummah of Indigenous Muslim Australians. I am under constant obligation to that work my whole life by my presence at that Corroboree. Others who were there might not regard that it was an event oriented with Muslim belief; but it can be anthropologically verified that Muslim belief was adopted by Aborigines in Arneham land, among whom were important players in the event. I guess it can be place within the context of being an all night prayer vigil. Over all the event gave me a solid reason to believe that my function as a white Australian is not to be seperate from the black Aboriginal community. The total ceremony was one made specifically for imparting culture to children.

I travelled to England in 1989, returning in 1991 via: Holland, Germany, Italy, Greece, Yugoslavia, Hungary, Moscow, Beijing, Shanghai, Tokyo; over a three month period in which I travelled with my children's father, an Irish, and had very little money.

I have three children, all sons, born in 1991, 1994, and 1997. They are the best.

I studied many different tertiary subjects as I found an interest while my children were young. I never got a degree but am really not inclined to sacrifice motherhood except for the units of study that engage me well, and those subjects never fit into a whole degree pattern. They are: anthropology; history; politics; sociology; linguistics; physics; maths; chemistry; biology; anatomy and physiology; community education; and counselling. (why is this the part where I feel my own peers would describe me as a weirdo?) My middle son went to visit the student occupation of the University Chancellry building when he was a new born; and all my children have been carted around to various unusual events by me, as it could be afforded within their contentment. They all were present at University lectures as babies; and also at a variety of other left wing political events; and hippy social events, but at which their needs always determined my own attendance.

I worked for a while as a youth worker engaged in developing peer support networks among younger mothers. I also engaged in other managerial youth work briefly. I worked casually scavenging at the rubbish dump for a group with such a licence. I developed a strong interest in the scientific basis for the efficacy of homeopathic medicines and that is the cause that lead me toward an Islamic teaching.

I seperated from my children's father eventually and then a rapid series of changes occurred. The work of the homeopath whom my enquiry had been through was aligned with, but not in accord with, some of the teaching of esoteric Islam, through allegorical literature that is occasionally available in 'the west', and directed towards the psychology of persons raised in the mainstream of 'the west'. That work interrupted my life substantially including causing that my children's father and I seperated. There was a period of three and a half years between me becoming aware of such work, and me realising that the proponents of that work whom I was by then familiar with, over a twelve year period, were not in accordance with the actual aims of the work.

During that period:
I was bothered by a psychological disturbance which can be attributed to having been caused by the landslide in New Zealand, as a post tramautic stress reaction to specific sounds;
I worked to re-orient my skills to my children's needs of me in the home;
I recovered in a miracle from the prolapse that had begun when I was three, and to only my own families need to heed, except in that the psychological change which I underwent was substantial after thirty years and all my education received within the prolapsed state;
I found a need in my self to commit to not accepting money for my labour;
I learned to cook better;
I established a market stall selling teaching materials for handicrafts, and gave it up when I broke even;
Me and my children ate mostly from a vegetable garden, and I learned to preserve fresh food;
I became one of the school canteen Mummies, and also negotiated with the school and department of education to homeschool my children part time;
Me and my children went on a big camping adventure that I had written into the homeschooling cirriculum that was approved by the department of education;
The relations between my self and my parents were more difficult than ever since my children's father had left me just after we moved into a house my father owns within an arrangement assuming that I would eventually purchase that house.

Things were more difficult from early 2003 because of events at the Aboriginal Tent Embassy in Canberra. I had my nose broken, and there after my children were removed from me by their father during a temporary stay at his house. The action he took was supported widely by elements of racist policing within the black skin Aboriginal community. That accorded that I lost any possiblity of social support from within my own usual community, including from my parents.

Since then I have been trying to source the causes of why the court action is being wrongly weighted against me. My explorations have taken me into a number of unlikely settings, but including the public meetings of an occultist organisation whom the neo-nazis affiliate with, and which is fundamentally a promoter of the social structures of racism.

I have also encountered criminals (there are a few good Aboriginal men whom have escorted me into settings of learning about what is going on among criminals; but whom needed to pretend that they were opposed to me so as to enable that they could accord me safety; they are culturally patterned to give their game away to any close companion whom can perceive their communications that shaytan are unable to perceive, so shaytan regard that I am completely unsupported by such men); and what I have observed is that there are crime gangs whom affiliate themselves with nazism, and are within patterns of entrapping any female they encounter whom they perceive of as a good mother. What they do in its worst extreme is documented by a rape counselling service, at a shocking rate. They work to cause mental illness in mothers and then to remove their children; and force the mothers into prostitution. The women whom fall to such are regarded as the best prostitutes because they have a degree of motivation that no other prostitutes can avail themselves of. It is that emotion of anger at the situation. I am fortunate that drugs present me with no temptation. The purpose of such criminals is to cause for themselves large quantities of self worth from both the mothers and the children, within patterned structures of criminal socialisation. Thereby they accord to themselves that their criminal nature is hidden, and that good mothers and their children are faulted with the exact crimes. What the criminals fail to realise is that the very function which causes that such women become good prostitutes also cause that the secretly harbour Iman, and will inevitably hold all those whom abused them into account. It is because of this broad picture that I have been often socialising among the homeless persons in the City I am living in. There are a few true believers among. The evidence is that only few criminals know about the entirity of this situation, but that among those whom know are included individuals whom enacted some of the causes of all black magic. Australian society is so effected by such circumstances that it is my belief that the persons whom I previously mentioned as having interferred with my life, are themselves falsely believing that they are the causes of such activity, and so they work to try to hide such; but therein caused further.

I write lots of letters to official people who do not want to know about my situation. Recently the folk I am trying to attract the attention of towards my legal case might have begun to regard it differently only because I have distanced my self from all the other cases in which Indigenous women have had their children removed. I can not be certain yet. I acted to distance my self not so as to expediate the case by cause of being white, but because I have repeatedly experienced persons in the identifying Aboriginal community determining that they can profit from denying me legal confirmation of my Aboriginality; and such persons have been in knowledge that such will detrimentally effect my court case. This is because I am allegedly insane, defined by a report from my mother that I had a delusion that my skin is black, and which was her interpretation of my effort to substantiate an Aboriginal identity through family. Her own mother gave me minimal oral evidence. I have built a sound legal case to protect my children but there are no lawyers whom can afford to take it up, especially while I am being refused legal aid; but I shall keep trying to find one whom is able.

My children will be needing plenty of emotional recovery time and space once they are back in my care. My nine year old son has two grey hairs; my fourteen year old son is about to launch into the world of theological jurisprudence through his disagreements with other Navy cadets; and in the middle is Sal, whose will is the most generous of any I know. We all like Steve Irwin.


That is all I can tell. Sorry it is so long; and thankyou for wanting this knowledge.

wasalam

[Muhammad]

:sl:

Thank you for sharing that information, I have found it to be an interesting read.

[Curaezipirid]

Alaikumassalam Muhammad, and thankyou for the time to read.

I am posting again here because I woke up this morning -late- after waking up before dawn, then turning over just at dawn and going back to sleep; and woke in a Dream which included me carrying around a bag with my self as an infant in it, and a crow. I instructed my self in the Dream that I had better tell other Muslims that I am shy.

I am shy. That is to say the true Tribe of Israel I am in is the one that the Jewish Religion, as we know it, started among. (I never remember the names of the tribes of Israel) But I am in body type, and the story I am living by therefore; aligning with a different Tribe, as a snake within Animist tradition.

The fact is that this causes that I seem not as good as I truly am at reconciling pride and sloth.

Soon enough though I already start to put repeats into the posts I am making. It is just that the spectrum of material I post about seems to indicate lesser pride because there is a large quantity of unlikely material that I repeat in. That should make it obvious to a person who comprehends the true nature of the Tribes of Israel and the skill accorded by; obvious what the true situation is, that is.

wasalam

[Tania]

Also not long after she was born we were both being regularly looked after at a house where there were persons whom abused us.

I could not understand exactly what happened with you and the little sister. The parents decided to lock up inside of the house? Or it was a kindergarden where the teacher beat you up, in absence of parents.:(

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[Curaezipirid]

It was a house down the street where the mother was paid by my mother to look after us. We went there for six months beginning when my sister was twelve weeks old and I was three and a half. I remember an incident that happened during that period that neither my mother or father can remember; but it is certain in my recall, and is an aspect of my recall memory that has always been in place. My feeling is that my parents began to be less able to remember after my sister was born. I believe she is a kafir. But even that should not have accorded my parents the degree of memory loss which they experience. My parents are both in sound and permanent self knowledge, so that is why their perceptions are given a large amount of creedence by all persons. But people in good self knowledge will always remember unless there is some actual trauma for them which proves that they are in fact not so responsible for any matter as it could seem. Thereby I am taking their failure of memory as a sign that none of the incidents at that time were their fault. It is a matter of considerable frustration to me that my memory is factually better than my parents, but that their public identities are given the honour of being good in memory, while my public identity is given the crediblity only of shaytan. One of the main reasons I can sustain my belief in this circumstance is simply because my parents money gives me nightmares and use of it causes a bad smell by comparison to my own money.

Thankyou for asking. I will only provide explicit detail if it is really required to comprehend what is the true nature of the story and my family relations.

mu'asalam

[Tania]

I must admit i don't know too much about your country but what exactly they did when you wrote :
"landslide in New Zealand, as a post tramautic stress reaction to specific sounds; "

If i am not :-[ i would like to point out its nothing bad to take money for your work. In fact i am happy to spend my money and don't depend to anyone else.:) I would not refuse the money if its come from job.
"I found a need in my self to commit to not accepting money for my labour;"

I liked this part:
"I learned to cook better;
Me and my children ate mostly from a vegetable garden, and I learned to preserve fresh food;
I became one of the school canteen Mummies, and also negotiated with the school and department of education to homeschool my children part time;"
:) The children will always rem with pleasure their first attentive lessons.

[Curaezipirid]

The trauma in New Zealand (I live in Australia) was related to hearing a series of naturally occuring sounds connected with a thunder storm and then massive boulders falling from a mountain side through a forest bringing the trees down with the rocks and mud. The thunder was loud. The lightening was bright enough to be hurting my eyes when inside a building and with a sleeping bag covering my head. The the side of the mountain falling was louder. The trauma was that it fell partly into the building we were in. But it is not funny when I tell it like that.

Here I can improve it. We were bushwalking up a gorge in the mountains, going in the first day of a many days walk over the mountains to Mount Cook. Only the first days walk could be managed without ice picks etc. The New Zealand National Parks had built huts for sleeping in along the route of the hike. The base hut which we were going to had recently been re-built, or a whole new larger hut built rather. When we got there we saw that there was a place to put boots outside so that no mud got into the hut. Other boots were there, and we took example from the Scandanavians whom had arrived first and dutifully took off our boots and lined them up outside.

Then we went and sat in the natural hotpools awhile, then made dinner and went to bed. The hut had an upstairs with a load of durable mattresses aligned in the floor, and a place to look down into the downstairs kitchen. Then the thunderstorm happened, with a number of completely unresolvable predicaments; including that our first certainty of being at risk of our life was that the Park Ranger was clinging to pipes on the external wall ten foot up in the air with the old hut sliding into the river behind him; and he was dutifully calling "get upstairs!"

I have not time now to tell it all; but eventually the helicopter turned up to rescue us only because our boots were buried. It turned out that that night was the first time that hikers had taken their boots off outside. So we all let off the New Zealander who stomped on all the mattresses in having kept his boots with him and ventured downstair for the CB radio.

wasalam

[Tania]

You lived an entire nightmare and they wants us to go like tourists there:heated: At least the authorities should take measures to announce this storms.
Thank you for sharing

[Tania]

I have built a sound legal case to protect my children but there are no lawyers whom can afford to take it up, especially while I am being refused legal aid; but I shall keep trying to find one whom is able.

My children will be needing plenty of emotional recovery time and space once they are back in my care. My nine year old son has two grey hairs; my fourteen year old son is about to launch into the world of theological jurisprudence through his disagreements with other Navy cadets; and in the middle is Sal, whose will is the most generous of any I know. We all like Steve Irwin.

You could try to find a work and after that rent a place. To can get back your children you need to have money. The court usually give the children to those who can sustain them, and in certain degree they look after emotional sustain. Try to leave the homeless persons, don't mix up with them because after me its not good for your case and life. The beauty of our human nature is we can always stand up after we fell down. :)

[Curaezipirid]

True that eating with the homeless persons is not a good appearance, but it bears little social relevance to the court situation since I always have food at home.

Here in Australia the rent situation is not too bad, even in a big city, and I already am renting a three bedroom house. My children's belongings from birth to three and a half years ago are all with me in the house, but packed up since I am too sad to contemplate their need to be surrounded by such familiar things. They have a whole other new set of stuff around them at their father's, which I provide into often; but I am at a loss as to know what is becoming of the things I provide since it is reported to court that there are no such things I have provided that the children can access.

The work situation is odd and only because I am quite capable of obtaining a well paid job; but have a very strong feeling against such. If I worked full time at the highest rate of pay I have previously earned, I could afford to pay the lawyer's fees within three years if I lived within the same means as I am living at present. But since I feel wrong about accepting money for my labour, and because the Australian Government would give me legal aid if I had not identified as Aboriginal, and because my father can afford the legal costs; it just seems wrong to put my self into a job for money.

I recently applied for a senior beaurocrat position in an area in which I have some specialised knowledge, and could put together a worthy application, and it was for twice the amount I last earned in a year. But usually such work is within contexts in which there is already a known person identified before the job is advertised (though that never prevents a truly competitive application); but there are other reasons also for my self not taking that job if I were offered it, and again according to my children's needs.

I mean not to present this as problem, only that in thankyou to Tania's posts, I have truly well considered these matters, and she surely suggests rightly. The Australian law system is established to never prevent any person from obtaining legal representation only by poverty; and so in having been prevented I have a clear case of in the discrimination commission also.

It is difficult to know what direction to approach such a case from. I am discriminated against by cause of being Muslim; by cause of being Aboriginal; and both of such together have accorded that I was falsely diagnosed as insane; and then I am discriminated against as a person with a mental health diagnosis label. When I say that I am discriminated against by cause of being Muslim; it is that my single verbal instruction to my children to remember the genital component of wudu has been held up as though evidence that I could be a child rapist. It has even been suggested that I am insane and obsessed about sex; after having related to another person that the genital wudu has the beneficience of preventing children stimulating their genitals. The other person was misinformed to believe that masturbation is healthy. This is the main part of why I am so extremely concerned for my childrens immediate well being. I am under a court order preventing me from instructing them in any matter related to sexual codes of conduct. Also I am prevented from mentioning to them that I am working at the court case; and my children have been mis-informed that I am not even caring for their well being, and they find themselves beginning to believe such only because it has been so long now and they are not yet returned to me. Many persons in fact are assuming that if I have not won the case by now then I must be lazy and uncaring. But truly the case has been taken out of the cases pending lists at trial and I have written letter after letter to get it put back into the list, so far to no avail. There is no due cause for it to have been taken out of the list. That is the reason I need a lawyer. The courts are not even responding to my letters about administrative matters. I must apologise for writing about this at such length here.

Today I was with my parents for a few hours, and will see them also tomorrow. We went to the Botanic Gardens and I have made an effort to communicate to them much of my belief in Islam, and the various different ways in which I have perceived that they themselves were misinformed about Islam. In the course of this I had cause to yell greatly at my mother much to her and my father's embarrassment. I had to tell them that truly I am regarded in poor aspect often for not expressing overt massive anger and sorrow about my children having been removed. In fact many folk assume that it is a sign of insanity that I am not constantly in tears about my children not being with me now. But if I am crying that proves also insanity. I let my parents know in no uncertain terms, and very publically (with a few weddings in the tranquil background), that they are the only people I have yelled at about the whole matter, and that I regard that I am correct in exposing my extreme anger almost singularly to only their selves. Then we ate dinner at a Muslim owned Indian restaurant. I am glad that they have taken in real consideration all I have told them about Islam. There was an odd coincidence of an Aboriginal woman at another table at the restaurant, whom is a receptionist at the Aboriginal health centre. It was a relevant coincidence because my parents and I argued also about our Aboriginal ancestry; and I asked them to help me stop that health centre from holding me accountible to them as a white Aboriginal person if they would not acknowledge our ancestry. The health centre has also refused to provide two different forms of evidence which could have helped the court case. That is factually why I am not going to let the case be knowable as a case within which I am discriminated against for being Aboriginal, but will rather let the case be known as a case against my self as a Muslim. It has been a difficult day; but fruitful in the longer term I expect, given my father's opening of perception with considering now Islam more positively.

Now I am truly sick of my self and so many words. But that I ate more than I wanted was by cause of placating my mother whom fears that when I eat less it is a sign of insanity.

Having stated all of the above, and in what I noticed of my Father's regard for the situation; I should tell also that I have some belief that our family are living within the spectrum of becoming those whom by will subject ourselves to proving Islam by disproving that the accountibility of Judaism alone can be effective in this time. We discussed a great amount of contextual information about the Australian economy also, and I constantly related that back into Islam. It felt very peculiar to be entering a Muslim restaurant during Ramadan in such a condition as within the full manifestation of my family heritage as it was there this evening. My family are all big folk, tall with heavy bones, and with large presence; we all shrank our self regard considerably to enter the restaurant without being a public nuisance. (my father is likely to be considering he and my mother overeating as being a public nuiscence, and He is in quite good humour really)

Needless to say, I must thank those whom started the special Ramadan du'a thread, since their du'a which I made knowable as my special want in Ramadan: that my family all learn to better protect children; are realising worth for Allah.

wasalam

[Curaezipirid]

Also I should mention that the specific storm a few posts back accorded that we became front page news in Australia back in January 1987; but it is a very genuine risk along some roads even in the West Coast of New Zealand, of rocks falling, but usually only little ones.

wasalam

[Tania]

To prove your mental health you should apply for a job. I liked the way in which you raised the children - that house teaching:), including trips for better knwoledge- why are you not considering to become a teacher?
I am sure the people will talk differently with you. I would not go out with homeless people either, even to have lunch with them because its weird. Why a person which can afford to pay a lunch is eating with them? Raise question marks.
You are not working in sociology, neither in physiology to can somehow justify why are you going with them. I rem the case of a man ,teacher at university, which wanted to make a study about how react the people if you hit them in the streets. Like you are just walking and someone give you a slap. When one man slaped him back, he lost his glasses too. Off course people will look strange at you ,if you are doing things which don't belong to your life style.
You have to concentrate at your life and children- even if that need little sacrifice, like taking a job if the lawyer will say its a good idea- in the end will deserve. Your parents could reconsider, especially your mom, their attitude toward you.
Without to often speak about this, the parents are content when they see the children has a life on his own, is able to look after his needs without the parents help.

[Curaezipirid]

Thankyou Tania; I will truly take strong heed of retaining necessity of not associating with the folk whom sleep on the street, except in individual instances of those among whom regard me kindly and in truth. They are all so worried about feeling certain that they need to become Muslim at this time because I have been among them. Oh well, they might work it out better now with me no longer in their immediate company.

Good point also about being certain in my relations with family that I am not in need of them. I was considering borrowing money from my father and decided not to.

However I came back into this thread only because there is a note in another thread that might reflect badly in this thread if I do not actually make explicit what the accident was when I was three.

It is that I fell into a bucket of steaming water and became stuck. The amusing part is that my mother had been instrucing me frequently not to sit on the nappy buckets and I was ignoring her to watch her bathing my baby sister. One day I ran into the bathroom to watch her bath my sister in the bath with her, and remembered not to sit on the nappy buckets which had lids, but instead sat in the floor mopping bucket full of water just boiled and without a lid. Mum was in the bath with a baby in her arms and called Dad and he came in and could not see what the problem is immediately. I was very very brave.

Eventually I prolapsed during first aid provision for blistering skin, but I did not cry.

The good thing is that the event triggers my memory for having been assaulted at the babysitters house, which is a memory otherwise occluded. I was glad about the blisters since they made it better there for me to tell that I was in pain. But still fail to remember what happened to accord the pain.

Also the other good thing about the prolapse is that when I got well again, in that it spontaneously and miraculously repaired 6th July 2006; I find that I am in mind alike to being in the state of having just been provided a medicial opiate; but only if I sustain working in Allah; and with an increase in pain by that work accorded whenever any further level of endorphins is earned. My endorphin level is right pumped up at all times.

I just wanted to make this much explicit so as that there can be no speculation among persons whom look at this thread about what actually happened and if my family were at fault in regard their behaviour towards me. They have always treated me with dignity except by words used, and no bad words passed until I was considerably older, 10. Dad would probably expect me to call him a pork chop but I shall not, he is not especially edible all the same.

wasalam

[Tania]

Reading your reply i would like only to add i don't look badly at homeless people, don't get me wrong. I don't think going out with them will help you in the court to get back your children.

Also, i don't know your family but if you think you could borrow the money from your father to find that lawyer and be adviced regarding the case-thats not bad either. But if i would be in your place i would begin in the same time to work.and slowly i would give back the money to my dad.

You must see which are the points on which you can work to build your case. :) I am strongly positive you will get back your children because in courts the judge always keep with mom :)

[Curaezipirid]

Thankyou for your good consideration. My parents were in the same City as myself this weekend and we had a large and very public argument about the court case on Saturday afternoon in the Botanic gardens. Then they took me out to dinner at a Bengali Muslim restaurant and I could not stay at thier table only eating the small amout I required because my mother is in so much unnecessary fear that my difference from herself is a mental illness. She needs to perceive that I am looking after my self, and so she needed to see me eating what she considers a normal quantity of food; and then she instructed me to go home to sleep when I could probably have been better staying awake all night in Mosque or using the internet.

But my Father seems to be registering that I have been discriminated against in the legal system for the first time. I may thank those Muslims whom read the LI thread I posted in asking for du'a. The wonder of Islam is truly mighty.

I might also add that a few years ago now an Australian labour party Prime Minister promised that no Australian child will be going hungry; and surely that is the case, there is no hunger here to the degree that a hungry child is a sign of a drug effected parent, and we all could use learning to relocate our self within a hungry world.

wasalam

[Curaezipirid]

I was unable to avoid being in the company of homeless folk, but only because there is one among whom I regard my self as within an obligation to if and when he is regarding my self. In fact now many of the homeless people around here are being a little protective towards me because of Him. What ever you regard the protection of the homeless as worth, in my account it is graciously accepted as safe passage through a violent city environment. The person I mention is the second man among Aborigines on the street in this city whom offered me some protection by staying in their company, and to their worth that they were both radically assaulted because of preventing other persons from assaulting my self. Actually there is another younger man that was to marry me but was assaulted to prevent him from; and two others whom also were given a hard time for ever supposing to befriend me. The circumstance is that these are all black Aborigine men whom have noticed that I needed to be protected from shaytan; and they have taught most of what I learn in detecting whom shaytan are, and what their means is, and that the strategy of racing shaytan so that what they steal is your own set up, rather than theirs, is effective.

For example there are now shaytan trying to portray my self as "effected" in having written the word "effective" but in asserting that this is my comprehension and engaging in a process of disceminating my own comprehension more rapidly than theirs is becoming disceminated, they can not accord that other persons imagine that I am "effected" . Their intention was to cause they thier own mental incapacity is believed to be mine. (mine as in belonging to me rather than as in any digging down into the Earth for treasure; would that they quit trying to profit by what is underground: I will make du'a for)

The homeless have a specific perspective upon the economy that is very beneficial. It has come about in this age, briefly, that persons with no money have a clarity of perspective not affordable by persons with money. Their social means is relatively wealthy here in Australia. But I believe that is because many Australians accept thier du'a. In fact no homeless person could survive on the street if they had not accepted the passage of fire as their means, and in combination with thier du'a being larger than their material wealth, they are wealthy in knowledge. Like real Taliban, but without any real history of comprehension of modern Islam, and within only the maintainence of place being accorded here by Traditional Aboriginal du'a and certainty in Islam. But this probably belongs in a different thread, so I could put about my comprehension in the thread I began about the belief of Australian Aborigines.

But I should tell that I am occassionally in the company of an elder from Torres Strait who sleeps at the Lutheran church doorstep and garden; because he is fond of providing me with some protection. His du'a is strong.
wasalam

[Tania]

Do you live in same town with your parents or another :? ( reading your post i understood you are not )
Listen your mom advices because she is right about food and sleep. Looking tired at court, they will think you just came back fom a bar.
The house which you got from dad is in this violent city? - its very sad to hear about protection, i could not live in a city where i would feel insecure the whole time.

[Curaezipirid]

Gggrrrrrrrrrrrr: now I am back to this thread to report only that I am completely exasserbated with my mother and father!

A week later and now they regard me as crazier than ever because of being a Muslim! My mother has interpreted my oldest son having, for the first time, found the bravery to try a step in the direction of running away from his father to where he might be able to meet me, as though he is taking the opposite step because of how he need manifest the fact of avoiding his father's hate towards me becoming violence towards him.

But I saw my oldest son today in a public place with out folk breathing down our necks other than the staff at a role playing game shop.

thanks wassalam

[Curaezipirid]

I should add that the mainstreamed Australian public perception of Islam is that all Muslims represent is attempts to escape Allah in the grave. My parents are no exception; despite having listened to me. They thought they were only humouring mental illness and that me becoming openly Muslim is their evidence that Islam is wrong. But they never really knew me at all to know what my being Muslim can represent since they believe a kafir daughter over me, and whom portrayed her self as though me since long before I could know how they were relating to one another since I had a long term prolapse.

That I can report this as fact is most certainly only because I was my self at first painted as a kafir by the work of the Canberra Gurdjieff Society in that they had kafir among also. I was caused to believe by their efforts that I was kafir. So when I can report that actually my sister is, it is that I worked in belief that I followed of being a kafir, and that I also followed what they forced upon me of need to accept the fires of Hell. Within those two facts I worked out for my self that I am indeed of great Human worth by first working to the extent of attaining permanent self knowledge immutable. Somehow I knew everything would be OK if only I could sustain constantly knowing what is manifesting in my mind.

What is the world comming to that kafir are getting away with portraying children as the cause of hell. I am so sick of my mother treating me like a dog and that she supposes she is a good mother by preventing me from every thing pleasant and enforcing her own ills to me. My own belief in Islam is thoroughly sustained by the fact that I learned that I am Human within a Muslim teaching designed to be harmless for kafir.

I won't ask you to excuse my anger today since it is Ramadan. Thanks for reading but if you make it this far through any of my posts.

[Curaezipirid]

Assalamu Alaikum everyone

now I am back here to report only that the movement during Ramadan in the whole situation I am in seems to be amounting to a future court battle between my self and my mother and father over my sanity in respect of the custody of my children

their dad just let the oldest ring me and begin to organise seeing me this weekend and will write a letter to his solicitor for such to be allowable lawfully tomorrow morning

but my mother is determined that my Islam is insanity to the degree of not being able to teach children so well as she

wasalam

[DigitalStorm82]

SubhanAllah.


May Allah make it easy for you sis. Ameen.

Stay strong and keep striving in the path of Allah... Victory will surely come.

[~Juwairiyah~]

:sl: wr wb sis,

Subhana'Allah! Insha'Allah i will make du'a for you sis, make the most of Ramadan and remeber that after every difficulty, there is ease!

Maybe i can help you out, i also live in Australia (Sydney)?

[Curaezipirid]

Assalamu Alaikum ~juwairiyah~, DigitalStorm82, and Tania, and thanking all your considerations, those only reading also:

I am better today; though still awaiting receiving the letter referred to earlier, through a legal service; I have this morning registered a trade mark; and the effect is immediate in having enabled that my internal self is less bombarded by shaytan. That was my original intention in so undertaking, adn in first intending so around this time last year, and it has been quite a shock to me the full extent of the repercussions; including having met a number of unsavoury criminal type folk, whom seem to have become interested in my person so as to prevent. So hopefully my whole life will settle down well now.

The idea for the trade mark is to produce a teaching package for home schooling; but that provides a communication link between Religious Faith of true believers in Islam and the modern cultural demands that my children face with socialising among peers outside of Islamic contexts. It happened that because of the persons whom I met during the year the whole has become far more complex that I possibly could have imagined. But that the initial idea remains intact and unharmed is the justice. Nobody wanted to steal what I had in mind to use the trade mark for, but only the fact of my intelligence to make a trade mark around what I am able to protect by knowledge alone, within my own worldly experience of what is real. The trade mark covers classes 16, 41, and 42. I am planning to commence work in establishing a company ltd with a not-for-profit aim worked into its memorandum and articles within which the only use of the trade mark can occur.

One of the critical facts I had to sort out to get as far as I have in the legal situation with the father of my children; which really consolidated only after the post made in respect of his recent decision; is that the lawyers representing government (claiming to represent my children without ever taking their wishes into consideration) and representing my children's father, were trying to use a Judaic style accountiblity system to hold me to account in the only one instance in which any of my affidavit material is repetative, whilst also trying to hold me to account in general against Shari'ah, but themselves as non-Muslims. Clearly they only disprove themselves by their accounting method being shirk in total. So they are not Muslim and can not thus hold me to any account at my own death in any of. The pattern that they are using seems to be common among many here in Australia in their regard for Muslims which is very worrying. Especially for all other children also.

This is another aspect of what has straightened out internally, but through receiving my young sons regard to my self in these matters. (My sons are showing all the signs of being the kind of boys whom in any traditional Religious context would be selected for special attention beyond what is normally provided. For Example: they all comprehended entirely the Surah, The Elephants, and one shed a tear in consequence; but within it being by chance one of only a few parts of Qur'an they have been exposed to, through being prevented from seeing me beyond two hours a fortnight in a supervised childcare setting. I am being treated as a social leper in general because in usual instances it is only extremely abusive parents whom are so prevented from access to their children; and living in a city in which I knew nobody prior to this situation arising. While I am worried for my children's daily well being in fear of the violence of their father; it is that I have been denied justice by acts of black magic - which I have caught out, but which obviously can not be used as reason in court, but which there is verifiable evidence of in form of a multitude of administrative errors counting against me, and in total the only cause of my children not being with me aside from the fact of their father wanting to hide from the world that they fear violence from him. They are all being very brave while living with their father and much of my anger about the way they are being treated is in the fact that their not expressing extreme adversarial behaviour is not due to any good care they are receiving now, but due to their own high levels of tolerance and sensiblity and patience.) OK, now I am showing the degree of the court case in my fear I can tell what my son's regard is. That if only so many as three, either kafir gone very bad, or shaytan, are associating wrongly to any Human child as though that child could be in their debt, and the child has no parent or Imam etc whom is in knowledge of such; then it is quite impossible for any person to tell that child apart from an actual kafir. That has been what is happening to me, and why it is of concern to me that I am never yet in wedlock. What I am noticing is being forced upon my children is fear of such things as not obeying any old nonsensical 'rule of thumb'; as though if any rule is a 'rule of thumb' then it is necessary to obey it in order to be regarded as truly Human. I am praying that my children will learn well that no person can ever accord who is a Soul and who not except for within the interal individual experience in Allah. This is why we Muslims should not actually call any other person a kafir. When I have in relation to my sister it has been only an attempt to defend my own mother; but in that probably wrongfully, if correct.

Clearly it is that my self, and my children, and my parents also, are being used to hide that fact of those whom are knowingly engaging in shirk. This certainty has been with me now for two years at least in my most external self; and only now that the trade mark is paid for am I at all able to express this fact without fear of being held as insane only for stating this as my experience.

I must thank any person whom has been in Prayer for me and my children. Could I also express that I am certain that many whom have prayed for me are professed only as Christian and not yet in full fact of what Islamic belief really is; but that the Prayer of Islam has been the stronger accorded not so much by numbers as by the strength of the structure of Islamic teaching. Christian prayer is more likely to have accorded negative result to those whom are in Prayer when they Pray for the well being of another. Therefore I have been Praying that every true believer will learn to know Islam as the true way; and that those whom have misrepresented Islam will come to be prevented from by paying for Insha Allah. Let this be able to be known as an example of Shari'ah abrogating legal status evident in Torah: that not any example of the Judaic style of accountiblity could ever exist or be just unless the exact same result is able to be reached through Shari'ah.

Thankyou ~Juwairiyah~ for an offer to help. I am not certain what is possible at this moment, but can tell you that I received in Dream this time last year an intensely vivid moment of being in an aeroplane arriving in Sydney, and can not accord how that could be, yet am also sure that it was neither my self nor a shaytan causing the Dream.

Now last of all I may write here also that the fact that came to light immediately prior to being enabled to register the trade mark (and apart from the whole story sort of going adrift within unnecessary concern about what is happening in Korea) was that a shaytan manifested to my own immediate evidence its effort to mimic the genetic inheritance that is Australian Aboriginality, and is proven to have been a total failure. It is a black skin person with wide nostrils and a distinctive bone structure that is typical, even where its body holds fat is typical; but its muscular strength is not that which is accorded by a genuine Aboriginality. I must also write that the witness of such an attempt has been very expensive for my self and also for John Nawakie whom I mentioned, and cost any further acquaintance in friendship between us because of John's behaviour that enabled the shaytan.
But what has been revealed in the whole is that there have been generations here in Australia; not only of Aborigine children being stolen and placed into abusive care; but also of the Australian Government being preferential in respect of shaytan in immigration.

wasalam.

[Tania]

The idea for the trade mark is to produce a teaching package for home schooling;-good idea and will be succesfull:thumbs_up What do you want to say by 41 or 42:?

[Curaezipirid]

42

(but the computer won't let me post a post with only two characters!)

I thought of a silly example of something about Shari'ah abrogating Law of Torah.

if a judgment is made only within Torah and it is inaccurate then the difference in the result is larger than the original difference which is why it is necessary for Shari'ah to abrogate

but I though of this today walking along behind a small girl talking to her grandfather about their: "sparking pot". It reminded me of my son once at that age talking about the "par cark". I had been reading and thinking about abrogation; so my mind made the analogy.

a "parking spot" is not unlike to a "car park"

but process them into a spoonerism and a "sparking pot" is very different from a "par cark"

That is an analogy that works for describing the way we need to take care in applying Law; and why it is better to use Shari'ah.

In Islam no sparking pots are equitable exchange for any par carks even if Jews might occasionally exchange a car park for a parking spot!

wasalam

[Curaezipirid]

Assalam
I am only posting again in this thread to let folk whom have been reading it know what the situation is resolving into.

The homeless people are mostly no longer accessing any of my concentration thankfully. And I witnessed a number of miraculous occurances just in the last part of any associations with. They were events in which a sequence of three highly significant facts of abuses that have been going on in the general community were busted open among the street people and the victims were enabled to expose the culprits.

That happened shortly after my oldest son made the brave step of making a contact with me outside of the designated time and place.

Now on Monday this week, I was in the library posting at these forums when the woman sitting next to me asked me if I am Muslim. She had no veil on but then told me that she is Muslim, and a Law student. She is looking through some of my legal work.

Thanking everybodies Prayer. wasalam

[Curaezipirid]

Assalamu Alaikum

I always hate my self for having started any cyber counselling thread . . .
but therein a need perhaps that it began
and so seeks a resolution

So here is the yukky part:

While all this has been happening; since about early to mid 2005, Easter perhaps almost definitely; I have been getting scary premonitions of shayan if I win the court case against my children's father (who is a shaytan and addicted to non-identifying of, of course)(a, erm, irish one whom hates just any old thing and Hijab'll do, in his veiw)(a sort of pumpkin of a feather I just noticed, but one who just don't care about being wrong, as though not caring makes it alright to not care)(sprouted and dropped a pacific islander)(:heated: how can this come out any way other than nonsensically so might as well make the most of the nonsense around me); but since a premonition is only a premonition and need not be believed in; and since my premonitions have consistently been only of many environmental matters around the case that are directly contradicting prophesy in Allah; and since I am a truly good mother, and even all the shaytan know that of me; I can only persever since it is surely far better for my children to be learning that during the whole of their absence from me I undertook every possible method to impose upon the legal situation the imperative the children are placed into decent maternal care, and thereby learn to know what Love is, and why real Love feels qualitatively different from self love.

Therefore my anger has been something extreme; therefore I have also been learning more and more of the generally accepted means of accomodating anger internally without expression. Except occassionally with Religious Zeal.

One thing I have learned much of is the beneficience of east asian culture in their technique of accomodating psychotic diseases. The Gog and Magog situation resolves within the full comprehension of that management; as a health care teaching within a very superstitious culture.

Consider this: that when only to stay alive one needs to be ever being pushed by others into a further and further into the future perception: then, well, the prophesies reveal themselves inevitably as necessary.

What occurs to me just today is that the reality of the Gog and Magog situation that will no doubt progress in time; is that there are tools within Chinese culture to accomodate that can be exchanged for specific aspects of Islam which Chinese people will need.

that's all wsalam

[Curaezipirid]

Whoa! I just got the sound of one hand clapping for the first time after making that post!

I guess that makes my reconciling function about Bart Simpson's age.

I don't know if those who've never had a prolapse know, but when there is an internal muscle function collapse that never tightens up, not for nothing, or no man, or no sense of everybody/whatever/anything
/somethingerother; then there can be no internal mind. There is only external self. And the external self has no evidence of any but the external world. So reality is only the commonest agreed upon of the physical world; but in that Allah is also, through micro-biology, and maths, readily evident.

However it means that when the correction to my health occurred at 34, I experienced my inner self as, about 3, and a half. That was four years ago now, so to be at Bart Simpsons age is quite OK progress I guess.

The major problem what that my mother would not agree with the fact that a prolapse had ever even occurred, or the causal accident; and, well, really, I only had external conscious bodily memory to go by. So my parents are who have blacked out the whole experience. Why, if not because they are innocent of and the knowledge of how they have treated me through misinformation about my nature, is a sever trauma? So traumatic that I have found no relative or objective consciousness through Prayer or any other means in which my mother recovers; but she always swallows herself and so I always trusted Love.

How about one handed clapping of meeting my children at the local Masjid? I wrote the letters ages ago, straight after receiving imagery through Prayer, but nobody responded to a letter yet. However, perhaps that might be because the images I received through Prayer directed through that specific, (the localest) Masjid, had a picture of my own self within; and that I never usually am able to actively see. And I looked unwelcome and like a bad mum to the veiwer, whom ever she could once have been; but in the very very small instance of such mental imagery I received during Prayer, I recognised only my own immaturity in motherhood.

Now that is a matter which I am truly scared about. My sons are grow up already all of them wiser in mind that I am my self able to be; so what I think of is only about all the Islamic schooling I have acquired by my every effort while they have been at their dad's, and what of such they could be in need of.

So my mind already heads in the direction of wanting to sponsor a Muslim family from among those in refugee detention centres here in Australia, who can provide Arabic tuition in an equitable exchange for what I can provide, (food and a bedcover); However in all of that I am quite certain now in what I want to be when I grow up. I think I shall begin to become a Religious education teacher and develop Homeschooling curriculums for accomodating a Religious education framework for Christianty and Islam, (and every monotheist belief) around the ordinary work of homeschooling to the local education department standards. I had already begun this work and completing a portion of it enabled my recovery to commence; so that makes much sense. Also, because in my continual interest in what engages my children's learning ablity, I had noticed a specific phenomena, and want to use the tools of such: and I believed immediately that my idea was so good that I wanted to get it protected. So late last year I began a process of registering a trademark, which is complete now upon 11th Oct '06. Already most of my life is re-oriented towards becoming believable again, at last.

What is this magical weapon I now own by the name of a Trade Mark?

(the actual Mark is mentioned in the poetry thread made about is Australian Aboriginal poetry Islamic)

hmm TM??? (DM's are different) (so is a WWW, and also a SS) (so much for the Rugrats-TV show that is)(thats me the bossy girl, and my oldest son is the red head kid, my middle son the twins, and my youngest the very cleverest)

That's all,

all I can bear to expose of my own inner processing

while the shaytan library staff are openly agitated about me being booked into computer two and one o'clock? (but that is really a little beyond me to get properly just yet)

Ah, now I got it properly. There is a Dr. Seuss theme.

Hooray for a stitch in time saved nine! (My oldest son, Zimma's stitch, that is: so He will be an inheritor once we are proven to all live to tell the tale)

So when it is safe to, I should write that letter to:





(fill in the blanks, who else besides Terri Irwin; and the Redfern Da'wah project; and Under Wraps, a first film by an Australian Muslim convert about young girls becoming educated Muslim leaders in Hijab; and, -let me think- who else got the evidence and is worth working with . . . . oh yeah the Aboriginal director of the Sydney Olympics opening ceremony, and the Queensland Premiers department, and a Maori elder, a church charity or two, the Irish never quite, the local Thursday Island scout, a hippy dressmaker and shopkeeper, a few Muslim internet sites in only small portions, and a few too many gay men who imagined what Aborigines are good for, . . . ?
How about I stick with what the copyright says: that it is a not for profit effort and the copyrighted documents can be copied by anybody whom supports the aims of Islam, Indigenous Australian culture. (the true bits))

They sure are dumb those who believed in each others lies about me instead of the truth in me is all I can tell. But especially who believed in lies about me for feathering their own pockets!

So this is the story of the importance of being real.

It's not the end yet, but the thread has a sort of closure now, enough to sleep without getting killed in the morning anyway.

wasalam

[Curaezipirid]

p.s. that my mother more likely than not will not recover in her self that she once had of real regard and worth in truth; doesn't matter in the picture of Love and Her conscience and Her ability to be a real mother. Such things only matter to who worries about Hell, whereas my whole family just always seem to have known that the best position from which to regard Hell is that of certainty in Paradise after.

[Curaezipirid]

in addition in respect of that Trade Mark (just in case any person is of any genuine interest)

the evidence leading towards me being able to register the specific mark was exposed also to:
any Jinn I ever encounter (those who raced me to the end for their own individual means were notably who fell);
many Musicians enough to be certain that they are not all the right individuals to be playing that tune, that they can all be certain that they really need to be playing the exact right tune to have any breath;
including in my immediate acquaintance, an old folk muso who is the only one individual 'classical' musician (playing 'classical' music from the middle east, and trying to be treacherous unsuccessfully);
try the American Ghost Dance song cycle;
and any Indigenous Australian music that is locatable to its original place;
And Folk Dance Australia;
(and if the player don't know where and when the tune belongs to then they been stealing)


(but I only ever lent my ear to one player: a person who played a difficulter tune on the internet, and needed to be under strict observation so as to verify the full causation of his having been able to sustain certain Faith in Allah, and an investigative approach to science, but as an actual nazi still to this day, very delusionally - he now is openly happily insane in presenting the method of for public display, and has sort of gone completely inside out by having been lent my ear, has not shown actual cruelty, but only pervasive, enduring, loss of any certainty - seems to me he witnessed an unusual sequence of events that enable him to show a happy face, but since he is the insanity in this equation I will possibly never know.)

Assalamu Alaikum

[Curaezipirid]

Also if anybody were to so much as try to utilise the trade mark for any drug related sale, including prescription drugs; then the mark has a disappearing act. By cause of.

[Tania]

Once is your trade mark than no one else can use it:) And you could make nice money being a teacher and selling that curriculum courses what you made. You have to provide for your children so be carefully to ensure them money for their life.

I don't know if you should bring another family to live in your house. I think when your 3 children will come home they will need space for their own. You could pay them to come and teach your children arabics. You are teacher too.

About your mom, don't judge her. My mom told me once not every woman is borned to be a mom. Lot of women have problems regarding how to raise their children, how to love them.

I am glad you left the homeless people. Your place is not there. They have their own way to live .

[Curaezipirid]

Thanks Tania,

I should tell that the homeless friend I have is actually a fully initiated Aborigine man who is fifty and from Thursday island, so not the usual run of the mill homeless. He provides me with substantial protection. It even could be argued that he is quite at home in himself in sleeping on the street and in Church doorways. Once I went to the Ekka with him, that is the Brisbane Agricultural exhibition, in most towns and cities in Australia there is a show not an ekka, but always the show is a central feature of Australian life, as a yearly extra bit of effort and lesson in fun being hard. A sort of 'that's just too bad', kind of a lesson. (what else is the fun fair for if not to remind us that the only reason we want to be thrown upside down in the air is to learn about what will inevitably kill us one day) Anyhow at the Ekka there was a dude at the blacksmith competition from up north who said hello to John because he recognised him from when he was among the homeless in Cairns. John is that type of character who demands respect for most folk regardless of his circumstances. There are quite a few very decent Aboriginal men like him among the homeless. He has many relations all of whom would accept him in their houses, but they irritate him.

However I should say that I have really learned what I needed among the homeless thanking his protection.

Also this morning I got a letter from my children's father's solictor that I only needed to sign at the dotted line to enable my oldest son to organise his own access visits with me and unsupervised. That is a big victory for me since it proves that the children's father knows that I am no risk at all the the children. The whole legal situation is altered by one letter that my son pressured his step mother into causing that his dad agree to. Both the kids dad and step mother are kafir actually; I found the shaytan whose fault the kids dad's way of being is also. In fact over the last week, since I paid to register the trade mark, shaytan have been coming out of the woodwork around me and confessing. One this afternoon at the children's father's solicitors whom had not realised that a shaytan at the public library had insisted upon me using only one of my two surnames, and that the recent one superceeds the earlier, while the lawyers were trying to hold me to an earlier one. Anyhow I have to leave the library so will finish this later.

[Curaezipirid]

Alaikum assalam, am back again already now, only to place the correct context for this post I made yesterday.

in addition in respect of that Trade Mark (just in case any person is of any genuine interest)

the evidence leading towards me being able to register the specific mark was exposed also to:
any Jinn I ever encounter (those who raced me to the end for their own individual means were notably who fell);
many Musicians enough to be certain that they are not all the right individuals to be playing that tune, that they can all be certain that they really need to be playing the exact right tune to have any breath;
including in my immediate acquaintance, an old folk muso who is the only one individual 'classical' musician (playing 'classical' music from the middle east, and trying to be treacherous unsuccessfully);
try the American Ghost Dance song cycle;
and any Indigenous Australian music that is locatable to its original place;
And Folk Dance Australia;
(and if the player don't know where and when the tune belongs to then they been stealing)


(but I only ever lent my ear to one player: a person who played a difficulter tune on the internet, and needed to be under strict observation so as to verify the full causation of his having been able to sustain certain Faith in Allah, and an investigative approach to science, but as an actual nazi still to this day, very delusionally - he now is openly happily insane in presenting the method of for public display, and has sort of gone completely inside out by having been lent my ear, has not shown actual cruelty, but only pervasive, enduring, loss of any certainty - seems to me he witnessed an unusual sequence of events that enable him to show a happy face, but since he is the insanity in this equation I will possibly never know.)

Assalamu Alaikum

I should say that a trade mark being a trade mark it has a value just in that fact, if it is recognisable. There is already recognisable value in the real life events that have lead me into registering; and that between when I applied to register and when I registered the mark, that I factually met The Dajjal, who tried to rip me off in the very process of registering the trade mark, is the full story. There is a bit in between about my friend Sam who tried to rip off me ripping off The Dajjal, and that accorded that His name: Haadjmo is a part of the mark. He is a good friend because he always exposed his self to me just in case he was wrong about me. That is the Australian cultural way of being polite, to show your worst intentions to any person in the first instant. Thereby you have to be sharp witted to catch us without overly accusing. And we are all learning that in handling an American we need to be more observant of any fault being displayed after that first interaction, as being a truer picture. (The Dajjal is from PNG, but has Dreams he is innuit and originally of American ancestry; his mother is part Chinese and His father is English but; all the same, the cultural difference between he and I in working out whether to trust one another, accorded that I trusted him overly and he could not I; when by our intentions towards one another that picture should have been the reverse. But I don't know how he can have been living here for fourty odd years as a black man without comprehending the nature of Australian Aboriginality being different from what he supposes. He had a squid Dreaming within an animist point of veiw, and a name Zalcor went with that aspect of him self. He certainly belongs within the framework of Animist belief, but as a bad guy; but told me that He believes fully that Islam must be true because most true believers are Muslim. He has spent fifteen years in Australian prisons which could explain how he has not properly got Australian culture. He "did time" for five out of fifty five thousand dollars worth of an armed bank robbery he was caught with, and also in a consequetive sentence for rape. Also he was very brutally raped when a child by local criminals; but when the push came to shove he decided to prefer to believe that as a fourty eight year old man now he caused that he was raped as a child rather than believe that he was wrong to rip me off. He is in a sulk because he only benefitted by one thousand dollars and all the shaytan got to the rest of what got ripped off. -the insurance industry and the drug sales industry are connected with what he did after I showed him an essay I wrote about the insurance industry, with a note on it about the copyright and that it will also be within the trade mark- I hope that tells the story correct for folk to believe without finding yourselves wanting to accuse Him.)(not accusing being the only way to learn of without falling to)(He lives around the corner from me with his mother, and in a house that used to be the local post office)

Now I wanted to add to the post I quoted from above; that the fact that I mentioned about Musicians whom knew about my trade mark before it was registered. (The Dajjal's income is from a government benefit as a pensioner -he disabled himself in prison on heroin so as to receive a pension afterwards - and also from busking, and he can't sing! and he made up the lyrics with some of my poetry in his mind!) (isn't the whole situation absurd! a buskers lyrics rip off send us all to hell for a while to count our bottom dollar)(but that is not all I could tell, no, that is not all: oh no! I might have accidentally ripped of Dr. Seuss!)(nothing is worth lossing sight of what is important is the real story; and he tried to lie about what he had done, and has changed his name to a shortening of that of my son; about which I had to get a shaytan who sold drugs to him to write me a letter stating that she knows that he was interested in me and that his name change had happened; but because my children's father undertook to record all telephone conversations between me and my children to find evidence for the family law case, and in one converstation I mentioned the name: Zim Sully, then later found out He is Wayne by birth; but the context of mentioning his name was one which the children's father misconstued to be about my son.)

So you see it all clarifies in the mud of life eventually.

The fact is this. I know that there are musicians whom employ a use of money that has an equivalence the the Trade Mark I have registered. A few of these adhere to ahadith. Those whom are not in adherence need to learn that their non-adherence, if within my trade mark, will be accounted for well and truly as their own wrong not mine, but within my own acceptance of the full story of course; since I know The Dajjal and hold it to account, therefore must live only in Christ. There is longer ahadith about The Dajjal that what is told in Revelations.

Also the four beasts all are known to me; but that is too long a story.

How could any of us be existing without being able to sustain belief that there exists in the world examples of black magic which will one day no longer exist? This simple truth is that of complete sustanence. Jesus had to forge the first passage through the fire into Jannah so as to be ressurected. What for us was three days, for him took three thousand years in Spirit.

But the lesson of Love being Forever can never be lost, he could not find only one part of Faith in the first when Satan came to Him, and so accepted the necessity of travelling an unknowable distance through impressions of the future which his carnal body endured the pain of; which is why He so readily accepted crucifiction; and that He found in the fires of Hell that single missing piece of information, is that any of us are, and will be safe. From this time now when we can learn this fact; right through until when The Dajjal has fully paid for its mistake; we will all be taking it in turns to first find The Hour of Judgement, and then live through Jesus; and will all be Dreaming almost singularly within the framework of Revelations until we are all counted.

Why me is only because I have also already been in the fire and am returned to life such that my belief in unshakable; but also because in Hell I learned that it is made of money. I guess that is why Allah is in the fact of me having been able to register a trade mark that many already subconsciously equate their money with. It is also good protection that I needed; but the whole situation is so dumb. Because all shaytan are certain that it could not have arisen if I had not begun to register the trade mark: but until I did there was no resolution in sight.

Now there is another matter in an earlier post in need of some further explaination also. That I reported that I have had nightmares of shaytan in progress towards winning in the family court. Today I got a letter in the mail saying that I am unsuccessful in a job application as a buisness manager in the Northern Territory Government, for Arts Development. It is a job I have all the skills to do well and at a high enough remuneration rate that I could have afforded to travel back here once a fortnight and also immediately begin to pay a lawyer. An easier job would need me to save for awhile to commence paying a lawyer. But really, I am a stay at home mum, and while I am regarded as less able as a mother by lack of money, I am also regarded as less able if I am working in the Australian legal system. The trade mark proved an answer to prayer when the man who had promised to marry me instead married a heroin addict at the tent embassy in Canberra. He still now won't trust me as a white person after having been in Australian prisons. However that is off the point. The point is that there was a plot to murder me if I went to the Northern Territory; and that seems to be the cause of the nightmares of if I win the case by that means. However there is no future in any persons Dreams if the children's father wins, that is simply an impossible scenario. It is factually very unusual here in Australia for me as a pensioner to need to worry about whether I will get a grant of legal aid assistance. But it seems I could well receive enough money if I sue the forensic psychiatrist whom I have criminal evidence against for the method by which she chose to support my children's father's case and biased the evidence against me wrongfully.

Wasalam

[Tania]

I don't know what it means the Animist belief :-[
The life is complicated and is sad to see own childrens father can turn upto the point to listen even the phone calls. I am glad you can see your son in private. After me its a big step:thumbs_up and no matter what will say x and y , your sons will always know how did you treated them.They know the true, so their father should calm down and finish with the doctors manipulation, because this could turn against him, now or later.
Regarding the job which you didn't get it i would not bother my head with that. Are other jobs too and "in every bad thing which happens there is something good too" .May be your premonition about murder would have become true, so its better to stay far from the northern area.