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youngsister
09-30-2006, 06:20 PM
:sl: Isha Allah i am looking to start Uni next year, I am applying now I live in london and could easily go to a Uni near my house,butttt.... i am thinking of moving to a different city my course will pay for my accomodation.

This is simply because i feel i need to be more responsible, i am 18 dont know how to cook at all, never paid a bill in my life. Plus the though of living with my family all my life then move in with my husband is quite depressing as i will never have a ME time if this makes sense.

so is it haram for a woman to leave on her own?
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-30-2006, 06:26 PM
i asked my sisters if they wanna live on der own n dey said no becoz they feel it wont be dignified or modest.

Also theres stories of innocent ladies falling into huge sin due to living on there own... personally i think a man is required for protection.

Allahu Allam


May Allah grant u success in ur endeavours inshaAllah.

:salamext:
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~Stranger~
09-30-2006, 06:34 PM
:sl:
i think its not a good idea to live all by ur own. i dont live in the uk (and ill never thankful enough for Allah for this fact alhamdulillah) but i heard many stories about sisters not living in the right islamic way when they live away from their families and they're easy prey for males
u can live with ur family or with ur husband and still be independent with the islamic boundaries insha'allah (which u hopefully know)

i live in a city far frm home but im not independent at all. its not the best thing to do but i had to coz what i wanteds to study isnt in the uni near my home. and im telling u its not fun at all

i hope u choose the right decision
allahu a'alam

:w:
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Ansar Al-'Adl
09-30-2006, 06:58 PM
:sl:
Question: I am recently divorced from my husband, and the court has given me full custody of my three minor daughters. However, I have been awarded custody of my small children under the condition that I reside in the same state in which my husband resides. The problem is this means that I will have to live alone, because my family lives in another state far away. None of them are prepared to move to live with me. What can I do?

Answered by Sheikh Hânî al-Jubayr, judge at the Jeddah Supreme Court

A woman is supposed to stay close to her guardians and not live away from them. This protects and safeguards her. It also discourages those who might wish to harm her.

However, if living away from her guardians presents an overwhelming benefit to her and she is at the same time reasonably guaranteed the safety of herself and her children, then we can pray that there will be nothing wrong with her living away from her family.

I advise you, my dear sister, to try to convince one of your guardians to live with you so you can do what you have to do without having to live alone.

May Allah bless you with success.
http://islamtoday.com/show_detail_se...main_cat_id=35
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bint_muhammed
09-30-2006, 10:16 PM
nah not a good idea! i'm starting uni aswell next year and i have to choose one that i can commute to! its hard with the degree you wanna do, i wanted to go to manchester uni like salford as the distance is good, not too far or near but they don't do the course i want. i'm still looking!
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DigitalStorm82
09-30-2006, 11:43 PM
I agree with the posts above...

There are all types of hardship... I spent my college life away from home too... It's fun to be around friends all the time... but its VERY easy to fall into sin because you're surrounded by fitnah.

As the scholars say... you're the religion of your friends... so be careful if you do decide to go there... although I don't recommend it.

Learning to cook and taking care of house chores is not "fun" lol Especially when your pressed for time because of projects and exams... cooking and stuff can be very time consuming.

Also, I had to spend Eid and ramadan away from family... in ebonix.. IT SUCKED! lol ok enough said..

May Allah grant you a good education and hikmah to make right decisions Inshallah.

W'salaamz,
Hamid
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Muhammad
10-01-2006, 12:05 AM
:sl:

Also see this thread:

http://www.islamicboard.com/educatio...s-sisters.html

The freedom of university life comes with great responsibilities. You are no longer under the guidance and supervision of your parents and family, neither in the security and comfort of your home, nor in the company of loved ones who are willing to cater to your needs. You are in a new environment where not only are you 'free' to do as you please without anyone giving you a second look, but in fact 'encouraged' to do all it takes to fit in with the crowd.

As a Muslim, you know better than that. The people you will meet do not have the same priorities as yourself. In fact, most of them are not sure 'what' their priorities are or if they have any to begin with. You will hear the word 'fun' a lot, which will be used to justify almost anything imaginable and sometimes beyond! You will face situations where all that is between you and the greatest Fitna (trial & tribulations) is your Muslim identity, self-dignity and conscience.

Dear brothers and sisters, be on guard and know yourself. Think about why you are at university, for whom are you putting yourself through this, and what do you hope to achieve in the end? As in life, you must be absolutely sure of your 'purpose' and 'direction', or you will lose yourself in the crowd. Know that you are a Muslim, know that you are His servant, know that you are His Khalifah (vicegerent), and know that you are accountable to Him first and foremost. And what greater sense of purpose than to know that your goal is Allah(swt)! But if you are going to university only to have fun, then know that there are far less expensive ways of doing so.
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Malaikah
10-01-2006, 08:56 AM
Originally Posted by youngsister
This is simply because i feel i need to be more responsible, i am 18 dont know how to cook at all, never paid a bill in my life.
:sl:

how is living on your own going to help you learn to cook? i would have though living at home, your mum could teach you.. but who can teach you if your all alone? :?

Sis, you can be more responsible without living by yourself... how lonely would that be.. :rollseyes
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Thanaa
10-01-2006, 10:24 AM
Originally Posted by youngsister
:sl: Isha Allah i am looking to start Uni next year, I am applying now I live in london and could easily go to a Uni near my house,butttt.... i am thinking of moving to a different city my course will pay for my accomodation.

This is simply because i feel i need to be more responsible, i am 18 dont know how to cook at all, never paid a bill in my life. Plus the though of living with my family all my life then move in with my husband is quite depressing as i will never have a ME time if this makes sense.

so is it haram for a woman to leave on her own?
Im of the opinion that it isnt haram...If youre the sort of person who isnt strong in faith, and easily swept along by others, then dont move out to be on your own...
But overall I think you have to stand on your own 2 feet, and get some experience of the world without family to back you up all the time. Its part of growing up really.
Also, I feel its a little patronising for others to say that women need to be "protected" to the point where they never live on their own with their own space, in their own home.
If you want to learn to cook, theres some good books around...you could just spend the day with your mum making food to take on a picnic the next day or something?
Good food, learning a new skill and quality time with you mum and some sisters/your family all in one fell swoop, lol!
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youngsister
10-01-2006, 01:55 PM
:sl: Thanks brothers and sisters! I decided to stay at home i am struggling with my religion now imagine living with strangers. jazakallah khair.:w:
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IbnAbdulHakim
10-01-2006, 02:01 PM
:salamext:

Alhamdullilah

:wasalamex
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DigitalStorm82
10-01-2006, 02:33 PM
May Allah grant you better than what you have given up for Allah's sake. Ameen.
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Lina
10-01-2006, 04:48 PM
Originally Posted by DigitalStorm82
May Allah grant you better than what you have given up for Allah's sake. Ameen.
:sl:

Ameen.
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Hijaabi22
10-01-2006, 09:11 PM
Originally Posted by Mazed
i asked my sisters if they wanna live on der own n dey said no becoz they feel it wont be dignified or modest.

Also theres stories of innocent ladies falling into huge sin due to living on there own... personally i think a man is required for protection.

Allahu Allam


May Allah grant u success in ur endeavours inshaAllah.

:salamext:
AGREED!

I think livin on ya own opens all sortsa doors 4 haraam, loadsa my mates went away 2 uni, live on their own and well.. get up 2 all sorts. I think no matter how much U say U wont fall in2 that trap, wen its there temptation will get da better of u.... so personally i altho do seem the pros of livin on ya own, wudnt, simpky because I dont think Id be able 2 keep away 4rm haraam no matter how much Id want to,...but hey every1ns different
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