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Control Your Anger
Shaykh Saud Ash-Shuraym
Rajab 6, 1423 (September 13, 2002)
Brethren in faith! This world has never known an individual -in its long history- whom people had collusively wronged and abused with most insulting words in spite of perpetuity of his mission, his truthfulness and honesty like Muhammad, the Messenger of Allaah. He had indeed been abused and insulted by all categories of the society. The poets had satirized him; the leaders of the society had mocked at him; and magic spell had been cast on him.
When the day which Allaah had promised His Prophet came and He conquered for him the city of Makkah, the Prophet entered the Sacred House and circumambulated it with people around him. Everybody was fixing his gaze on him in expectation of what he was going to do with his enemies. It was then that he said his famous word,
"O people of Quraysh! What do you think I am going to do with to you?"
They answered, "Good. for you are a noble brother, the son of a noble brother."
He then said, "I am telling you what (Prophet) Yoosuf told his brothers: No reproach on you this day. Go, for you are freed."
It is then that great men like 'Ikrimah bin Abi Jahl and Hind bint Utbah embraced Islaam and repented. The poets also turned in repentance and sought the Prophet's forgiveness like Ibn Az-Zab'ury and Ka'b bin Zuhayr. He did not but forgave all and overlooked their past deeds.
Allaahu Akbar!
How beautiful is forgiveness in the midst of power, how excellent is generosity during hardship and glory in the midst of humiliation! None deserves all this more than the Messenger of Allaah. Allaah says about him,
"Verily you (O Muhammad!) You are on an exalted (standard of) character." (Al-Qalam 68:4)
Dear Muslims! It is by this and other great stances that the Messenger of Allaah was able to eradicate the customs and traditions of the time of ignorance and its darkness through different kinds of knowledge and guidance. It was by his forbearance and sense of forgiveness that he was also able to prevent corruption. Allaah addresses him,
"And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you." (Aal 'Imraan 3:159)
The Prophet has cancelled all the vows of the time of ignorance and established the pillars of the society on virtue and good conduct. He removed ignorance and anger and all admonitions he gave to people are directed toward this goal. He said, "
Abusing a Muslim is an act of sinfulness and fighting him is an act of disbelief." (Al-Bukhaaree & Muslim)
Fellow Muslims! Forbearance means to rebuke one's soul when it wants to deviate to forbidden things when the opposite of its desires occurs. During anger, forbearance means to control oneself and suppress the anger. Forbearance is also the garment of knowledge, whoever misses it has revealed his nakedness to people. Does falsehood bring any good? Anger is the companion of evil and forbearance means peace of mind and prosperity for all people.
Men are very different in nature though they all originated from the same parents and their differences are a great test; that is why Allaah says,
"And We have made some of you as a trial for others; will you have patience? And your Lord is Ever All-Seer." (Al-Furqaan 25:20)
There are among people a forbearing and deliberate man who when afflicted with hardship, composes himself as there are among them a lighthearted, inpatient, gullible and foolish one who is easily influenced by insignificant things. Such a person talks and acts before he thinks and at the end, blames himself for that. The Prophet has warned,
"Do not say a word that you will need to apologize for tomorrow." (Ahmad) This is because, apology will be of no avail, for his act and word of anger must have already done their havoc. and The angry man has not left any opportunity for reconciliation when he was in his rage; for when he was then admonished, he would increase in rashness and when he was reminded he would increase in rage.
Rage sometimes, leads some people to insanity when they believe that they have been disgraced so woefully that it is only by killing that they can be satiated. Do you think that any Muslim who lives by the virtues of his religion can think of pain of committing such a grievous act? A Muslims must know that insults affect the one who makes them before they reach their goal and that the first victim of the Fire is the one who makes it?
It is therefore not suitable for the bighearted Muslim to lose the control of his temper. He should rather be patient and forbearing and show compassion to those who misbehave towards him, so that he may lead them to good and eventually cause them to praise him.
There are some people who cannot suppress their anger. You will always see them angry and annoyed. If anyone harms them you will see them flying with unsurpassed rage, cursing and discrediting. Their rage may even lead them to stupidity where they curse a door if they find it difficult to open, or an animal or curse a woman or break her ribs for flimsy things and then divorce her for a thousand times. His rage can also lead him and his wife to fighting like dogs and cocks and cursing each other which only naturally result into their children being made orphans while they are still alive. The Prophet said,
"The Muslim should not be a defamer nor a curser or obscene or immodest." (At-Tirmidhee) Then, do not ask of the regret of the two couples when regret will be of no avail. They will then be looking for excuses and consulting judges and muftis in an attempt to remove the effect of their senseless rage that has already destroyed a vital family structure, that could have been saved had anyone of them been able to suppress his anger.
Then what is the sin of a child who goes out of a home like this, gloomy and constrained, moving here and there and looking for a way of relieving himself of the distress. He can in this state, fall into the hands of beasts of darkness and society wolves. He may then follow them and get lost in the cause taking hard drugs and intoxicants. All this is a result of a rage of his father or mother that was ended with name calling, beating and even cursing and expulsion. The family structure is hereby destroyed and the society is disorganized.
Fellow Muslims! A man may show forbearance out of weakness or cowardice, such a person gains nothing and loses nothing. But if he claims to be patient while he actually is incapable of punishing his opponent, that is the habit of mean people. When he deceives by his patience and shows signs of the believers while inwardly he harbors hatred and rancour and aims at retaliating, such a person is wicked and recalcitrant. He is a disease in the body of any society he lives and he will be exposed and disgraced by Allaah.
If he is however forbearing and good-natured though he is able to punish the offender, such a person is like Ashajj Abdul Qays to whom the Messenger of Allaah said,
"You have two traits that are loved by Allaah and His Messenger: forbearance and deliberateness." He asked the Messenger of Allaah,
"Is this something that I adopted or naturally inborn for me?" He answered,
"It is naturally inborn for you." He then said,
"Praise is due to Allaah Who created in me two traits that Allaah and His Messenger love."
If he is naturally easily annoyed and is inconvenienced by his offender, but is patient, hoping for reward and forgives the offender, though he is capable of retaliating, and follows the injunction of his faith that enjoys righteousness and forbearance, such will be rewarded in this life and the Hereafter. In fact, he is the one described with real power in the saying of the Messenger of Allaah,
"The powerful is not the one who can fight, but the one who can control himself when angry." (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim). The Prophet also said,
"Whoever suppresses anger though he is capable of giving vent to it, Allaah will call him in front of all creatures and will ask him to choose whomever he likes of the houris of Paradise to marry."
May Allaah protect us from anger and its evil effects. May He also grant us forbearance. Allaah says,
"And march forth in the way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth, prepared for the pious, those who spend in (Allaah's cause) in prosperity and in adversity who repress anger, and who pardon men. Verily, Allaah loves the good-doers." (Aal 'Imraan 3:133-134)
Brethren in faith! It is incumbent on us to follow the teachings of our pure religion as well as the directives of the Messenger of Allaah. We must suppress our anger and not do any action that we will come to regret later. A Muslim is also required to seek for Allaah's protection against the evil of his soul and its lust and against Satan.
Listen, dear brethren, to an admonition of the Prophet to one of his companions who asked him for an advice. The Prophet told him repeatedly, "Do not be angry". The meaning of this hadeeth is that, one must not act according to one's anger, one should rather struggle to suppress that anger. For when anger overwhelms man, it becomes his master. This is referred to in the Saying of Allaah,
"And when the anger of Musa (Moses) was calmed down, He took up the Tablets; and in their inion was guidance and mercy." (Al-A'raaf 7:154)
So when man struggles with own soul, he prevents the evil of anger from himself. This is referred to in the Qur'aan where Allaah says,
"And when they are angry, they forgive." (Ash-Shooraa 42:37)
Brethren in faith! People view anger in different perspectives, but in the general framework of Islaamic Law, it is of three categories:
One: Moderate anger. This is when man becomes angry in order to defend himself, or his religion, dignity or property. Had this type of anger not existed, anarchy and lawlessness would have held sway in the society. The Prophet said,
"Whosoever is killed while protecting his wealth, such a person is a martyr; whosoever is killed while protecting his honour, such a person is a martyr and whosoever is killed while defending his life, such a person is a martyr." (Ahmad)
Two: Allowing one's anger to go below the state of moderation. That is when man refuses to be angry where he should. This condition is repulsive especially if the issue has to do with the rights of Allaah. 'Aaishah said,
"The Messenger of Allaah never stroke anything with his hand be it a woman or a maid. He only did that when he fought in the way of Allaah. He was also never attacked and he sought for revenge on his attacker except when one of the rights of Allaah was violated, it is then that he would avenge for Allaah."
Three: Allowing anger to overwhelm one's reason and religion; a state that can lead angry man to commit major sins. This category of anger cannot be suppressed except by following the direction of the Messenger of Allaah. He says,
"If anyone of you becomes angry, let him keep silent" (Ahmad)
In another hadeeth, two men exchanged insult in the presence of the Messenger of Allaah and the face of one of them became red out of anger. The Prophet then said,
"I certainly know that if this man says, 'Aoodhu billahi minash-Saytaanir rajeem' (I seek refuge with Allaah from Satan the accursed) his anger will go away." (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)