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anonymous
10-29-2006, 05:44 AM
Ok maybe this will sound silly to some. But here it goes, Ive only been muslim for about 1yr. Id like to get married but I dont know how to find a good husband. I live in a small town in USA, no mosques. The closest masjid is about 2hrs away but I dont know anyone there and they dont know me, so I cant exactly walk in and say.. "help me find a husband"....or can I?

What about matchmaking services ... are any of them for real and are they trustworthy? I know there are alot of sites on the internet but.. i dont know it seems kinda shady to me.

Any advice ? :embarrass
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AnonymousPoster
10-29-2006, 08:40 AM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Ok maybe this will sound silly to some. But here it goes, Ive only been muslim for about 1yr. Id like to get married but I dont know how to find a good husband. I live in a small town in USA, no mosques. The closest masjid is about 2hrs away but I dont know anyone there and they dont know me, so I cant exactly walk in and say.. "help me find a husband"....or can I?

What about matchmaking services ... are any of them for real and are they trustworthy? I know there are alot of sites on the internet but.. i dont know it seems kinda shady to me.

Any advice ? :embarrass
salams sis

ofcourse you can :) perhaps try get to meet the sisters in the masjid and express to them your wish to get married, inshalah im sure they'll be of help :)

all the best
salams
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AnonymousPoster
10-29-2006, 10:02 AM
I heard naseeb.com is good and you can even meet other Muslim females in your area? I don't know anything about it personally, So I don't want to be held liable on poor advise, but I know at least three people who met potential mates that way.
:w:
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DigitalStorm82
10-29-2006, 10:20 AM
Sis,

Please stay away from such sites... they are nothing but fitnah.

Get in touch with the mosque near your area... and get a hold of some sisters... just get to know them. You don't need to go up to strangers and say I need to get married can you help me? Its very awkward!

Get to know the sisters... develop a relationship... and perhaps you might come across a potential candidate for a husband through interactions with the sisters.

websites should be your last resort...
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Ummu Sufyaan
10-29-2006, 10:38 AM
:sl: brothers and sisters.

tell the imam to keep an eye out.

:sl:
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Ummu Sufyaan
10-29-2006, 10:46 AM
:sl: brothers and sisters.

try this fatwa:

Ruling on getting married through matrimonial websites on the internet

Question:
I am a student in a French university, of Algerian origin. I do not have any family in this country and I want to get married. Is it permissible for me to use the internet and the matrimonial websites to get married? Please note that there are Salafi sisters on these websites .

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

If the matrimonial websites on the internet are controlled by Islamic guidelines, then there is nothing wrong with going to them and making use of them. These guidelines include the following:

1 – They should not show pictures of the women, because looking at the woman to whom one is proposing is only allowed for the suitor once he has resolved to marry her, and it is not permissible for anyone else to look at her, and it is not permissible to enable anyone to do that.

2 – The website should not give detailed descriptions of the woman so that it is as if one can see her, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman should describe another woman to her husband so that it is as if he is looking at her.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5240).

3 – It should not allow any correspondence between the two sexes, because of the evils that result from that, including the participation of mischief-makers both male and female whose intention is to do evil or have fun. Rather the administrators of the site should first check on the identity of the suitor, then put him in touch with the guardian (wali) of the woman.

Secondly:

You should seek the help of your family and friends, and those who are in charge of Islamic centres, in looking for a righteous wife, in your homeland or in the place where you are staying. This is easy, praise be to Allaah, and it is safer and better than doing that via the internet.

Thirdly:

In order for the marriage to be valid, it is essential to have the consent of the woman’s guardian (wali), because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085), al-Tirmidhi (1101) and Ibn Maajah (1881) from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 7557.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If he has consummated the marriage with her then she is entitled to the mahr because of the intimacy that he has had with her, and if there is a dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 2709.

We have drawn attention to this because it may be thought that if a young man gets to know a young woman over the internet and she accepts him, this is regarded as a marriage.

We ask Allaah to help you and guide you.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A


enjoy!!
:sl:
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AnonymousPoster
10-29-2006, 10:50 AM
Yes, I am not sure how good a site like that would be? best be careful.
I totally agree with previous two posters. I hate sites that reduce people to biographical data. There is almost something inhuman about it. Just wanted to list it as an option, not as an advocate.
Wa' Allah A'alam
:w:
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DigitalStorm82
10-29-2006, 10:52 AM
Jazakallah khair...

This should help the sister out...

I remember my friend telling me about a matrimonial site ran strictly under the guidelines of Islam...

I think its www.smatch.net
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Caller الداعي
10-31-2006, 10:33 AM
asalam alaikum ,
i agree u should put the word out at ur mosque between the sisters im sure theyll find someone. and u should try to stay away from the net sites most of the time they dont show u the true personality of a person.
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limitless
11-02-2006, 03:31 AM
:sl:

Don't trust the internet. And try to be careful because you are looking for a husband and you are a new revert;the Muslim brothers (no offense) take advantage of such thing. You are American citizen ed; so you probably get my idea. Don't fall in love or anything like that if you do meet some Muslim bros for selecting an idealistic husband for yourself.

You need to know that, you will/could likely be taken advantage of. I'm not scaring you, I just don't want you to make mistakes, and later regret it. Investigate the potential husband, like his character, true nature (hard one), and how he will react to certain circumstances that may arise. You should be able to see through his lies if he is lying. Keep these sort of things in mind when you are looking! And make dawah and inshallah you will get a potential husband very soon :) .

:w:
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AnonymousPoster
11-07-2006, 12:49 AM
Originally Posted by limitless
:sl:

Don't trust the internet. And try to be careful because you are looking for a husband and you are a new revert;the Muslim brothers (no offense) take advantage of such thing. You are American citizen ed; so you probably get my idea. Don't fall in love or anything like that if you do meet some Muslim bros for selecting an idealistic husband for yourself.

You need to know that, you will/could likely be taken advantage of. I'm not scaring you, I just don't want you to make mistakes, and later regret it. Investigate the potential husband, like his character, true nature (hard one), and how he will react to certain circumstances that may arise. You should be able to see through his lies if he is lying. Keep these sort of things in mind when you are looking! And make dawah and inshallah you will get a potential husband very soon :) .

:w:
some o fur advise is ok.. but there's alot of generalisations there especially the bit in bold... all she needs to do is follow the propehts advise when choosing a husband. Look for somoene religious and of good character.

easy as that.. no need for the conspiracy theories there.

salam
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LUVAR
11-08-2006, 03:17 PM
its better to contact ur local masjid inshAllah
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