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AnonymousPoster
11-01-2006, 09:15 AM
:sl:

Can you marry without being 100% sure? You like them, there is nothing bad about them (that you would say no straight away), just some doubts you have...
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Dawud_uk
11-01-2006, 10:29 AM
assalaamu alaykum,

you wouldnt be human if you didnt have such niggling doubts. if this person is good for you in their deen and character and nothing bad come up when your family did a character search then go for it and insha'allah will work out well for you.

assalaamu alaykum,
Abu Abdullah
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Tania
11-01-2006, 03:04 PM
Yes, you can
Imagine a planned wedding, both loved each other- i want to say was not an arranged marriage. The mom of groom decided to pay the whole wedding costs, including the bride dress too. With 2 weeks before the wedding, the bride changed her mind, the groom accepted...but his mom said NO! We have to find another bride quickly because i spent lot of money .I will not loose the money for nothing. So be a man and find another bride:uuh: He began to search, and still one mom colleague from work accepted to be the bride. So after 2 weeks they had their wedding, she wear the other one wedding dress too ...see it can happen ...after the wedding both said will try hard to mentain their marriage , because right now they are discovering each other personalities.:)
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united
11-01-2006, 03:06 PM
wow.
interesting.
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Tania
11-01-2006, 03:15 PM
Originally Posted by united
wow.
interesting.
I saw yesterday in the news..its the first case when i hear about marriage held only to save up the money. But they will try to make their marriage to work:)
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strider
11-01-2006, 05:34 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:sl:

Can you marry without being 100% sure? You like them, there is nothing bad about them (that you would say no straight away), just some doubts you have...
That is an option. In short, it's your call.
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Snowflake
11-01-2006, 05:37 PM
Salam Anonymous,

I can say from experience that if there is doubt in anything you've decided to do then take heed. Sometimes things appear fine on the surface but there's a little niggling voice saying something doesn't add up. But at the time you simply can't put your finger on it.

That little voice is our instinct trying to warn us. I can only say that a little bit of doubt is normal as it happens before venturing into any unknown territory. But if the feeling is strong and persistent then pay attention to it. I am talking from my own experiences of doubts. You will know in your heart what is right for you. Good luck.

wa'salam.
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Umar001
11-01-2006, 05:44 PM
Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
Salam Anonymous,

I can say from experience that if there is doubt in anything you've decided to do then take heed. Sometimes things appear fine on the surface but there's a little niggling voice saying something doesn't add up. But at the time you simply can't put your finger on it.

That little voice is our instinct trying to warn us. I can only say that a little bit of doubt is normal as it happens before venturing into any unknown territory. But if the feeling is strong and persistent then pay attention to it. I am talking from my own experiences of doubts. You will know in your heart what is right for you. Good luck.

wa'salam.
Assalamu ALeykum

I was just going to say, I agree to some extend, but again it ddepend on the person themselves, I know some people who doubt for no reason, as in they doubt things alot, its just the way there are, and if they were to stop and always look into the doubt they would not get anywhere in life.

So it truly depends on the girl or boy, the above advise is good if your a person who isn't insecure or a person who isn't naturally doubtful. But if you were and you just were insecure about alot of things then it would be hard for you to check those things al the time.

If you are insecure and just without reason doubt 'what if this' and 'what if that' then try your best with thing pray istikhara and all and then dont worry about what ifs please. else you'll spend your whole life worrying about tomorow without enjoying today.
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AnonymousPoster
11-01-2006, 10:25 PM
Originally Posted by Tania
Yes, you can
Imagine a planned wedding, both loved each other- i want to say was not an arranged marriage. The mom of groom decided to pay the whole wedding costs, including the bride dress too. With 2 weeks before the wedding, the bride changed her mind, the groom accepted...but his mom said NO! We have to find another bride quickly because i spent lot of money .I will not loose the money for nothing. So be a man and find another bride:uuh: He began to search, and still one mom colleague from work accepted to be the bride. So after 2 weeks they had their wedding, she wear the other one wedding dress too ...see it can happen ...after the wedding both said will try hard to mentain their marriage , because right now they are discovering each other personalities.:)
say this wasn't the plot for another one of those reality series was it? ;D ;D ;D
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Snowflake
11-01-2006, 11:11 PM
IsaAbdullah;547168]Assalamu ALeykum

I was just going to say, I agree to some extend, but again it ddepend on the person themselves, I know some people who doubt for no reason, as in they doubt things alot, its just the way there are, and if they were to stop and always look into the doubt they would not get anywhere in life.
Salam,
Yup! You're right. Some people are born worriers and they are always afraid of what's to come. I do believe though that our instincts are almost always right, whether we are worriers or not. I only wish I had listened to mine - cuz it wasn't a little voice but it was booming scream.

And you're right, alhumdulillah we always should do istikhara before taking big steps in life.

wa'salam.
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anonymous
11-01-2006, 11:11 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
say this wasn't the plot for another one of those reality series was it? ;D ;D ;D
:offended: more like fake series, it's so fakely idealised that junk..

neawy back to topic.
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Tania
11-02-2006, 06:09 AM
Originally Posted by anonymous
:offended: more like fake series, it's so fakely idealised that junk..

neawy back to topic.
They married this sunday, it is real:) Now i admitt its a bit strange:rollseyes
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Umar001
11-02-2006, 06:13 AM
Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
Salam,
Yup! You're right. Some people are born worriers and they are always afraid of what's to come. I do believe though that our instincts are almost always right, whether we are worriers or not. I only wish I had listened to mine - cuz it wasn't a little voice but it was booming scream.

And you're right, alhumdulillah we always should do istikhara before taking big steps in life.

wa'salam.
Wa Aleykum Salam Wa Rhametulahi Wa Berekatu,

Am glad you agree, :) Although I find it hard understanding my insticts to be honest. And I see other people who follow theirs only to end up doing haram or disliked stuff.

So I try to avoid it.
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Malaikah
11-02-2006, 07:56 AM
Originally Posted by Tania
They married this sunday, it is real:) Now i admitt its a bit strange:rollseyes
I think the person meant that so called reality series are fake. :)

I can only say that a little bit of doubt is normal as it happens before venturing into any unknown territory.
:sl:

I agree. It depends on the type of doubts. Are you unsure because you know something that makes you :rollseyes ? Or are they just the natural kind of doubts like that mentioned above?
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AnonymousPoster
11-02-2006, 08:10 AM
^oops yeh i just realised the anon was referring to tania's story... i thought anon was talking about the big brother kinda reality series... :heated:

sorry lol.. bak2topic...
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AnonymousPoster
11-02-2006, 12:05 PM
Errr.... Ok, I'm the original Anon questioner.

Thing is, intellectually, everything seems ok, if you were to write pros and cons down, everything seems ok. But as someone mentioned there was always a persistant doubt and I was like trying to force myself to get rid of it. Well not just doubt, I could say yes or no, I was like stuck in the middle.

Add to that I've been looking to get married for a long time now and good proposals have been hard to come by, that's why I was really trying to fight the doubts. I was thinking will I find someone like this again? I'm a fool to say no...

So I thought take a "leap of faith" and say yes. But my parents saw that I wasn't 100% and won't take the proposal further. They said "it's Allah's will, don't worry".
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AnonymousPoster
11-02-2006, 12:07 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
Errr.... Ok, I'm the original Anon questioner.

Thing is, intellectually, everything seems ok, if you were to write pros and cons down, everything seems ok. But as someone mentioned there was always a persistant doubt and I was like trying to force myself to get rid of it. Well not just doubt, I could say yes or no, I was like stuck in the middle.

Add to that I've been looking to get married for a long time now and good proposals have been hard to come by, that's why I was really trying to fight the doubts. I was thinking will I find someone like this again? I'm a fool to say no...

So I thought take a "leap of faith" and say yes. But my parents saw that I wasn't 100% and won't take the proposal further. They said "it's Allah's will, don't worry".
if you've done istikharah n ur indifferent to saying yes or no.... then khayr inshalah :)

salams
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AnonymousPoster
11-02-2006, 12:44 PM
if you've done istikharah n ur indifferent to saying yes or no.... then khayr inshalah
Sorry, don't understand?
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anonymous
11-03-2006, 05:21 PM
Bump
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Firdaus
11-06-2006, 08:51 AM
edit
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Firdaus
11-06-2006, 08:52 AM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
Sorry, don't understand?

By doing swalaat ul istikhara, Allah will make you dream because you're unable to take any decision without being 100% sure of it. Either you'll have a good dream or bad dream. If you've dreamed of a good one then assume that your marriage is gonna be good in thy future. But if your dream is a bad one then your marriage is gonna flop in thy future. Hope for the best for thee. May Allah guides thee to take the right decision (Ameen).
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Malaikah
11-06-2006, 09:44 AM
:sl:

^Actually, there is no need to see a dream with istikhara. :)

Check out this thread for more details:
http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...-guidance.html
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Firdaus
11-06-2006, 01:57 PM
Originally Posted by cheese
:sl:

^Actually, there is no need to see a dream with istikhara. :)

Check out this thread for more details:
http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...-guidance.html


:sl:

yea sis but if you're unable to take an accurate decision then alhamdullillah istikhara will help or Allah will satisfied you on a decision.
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AnonymousPoster
11-06-2006, 02:46 PM
:sl:

if you've done istikharah n ur indifferent to saying yes or no.... then khayr inshalah
Still want to know what he/she meant?
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