Secularism and Family Pride!

[AnonymousPoster]

As Salam Alykum


My family is commiting shirk apparently which i use to do too back when i did not know. But after i had realized i told my family but their pride and arrogance will not let them leave behind there views.

Following things they do:
1) Sajdah to graves
2) Ask for help other then Allah
3) cast system

Cast System: For those who dont know what i am talking about. In Hindism there is thing called cast system. Which the lower cast is treated like garbage and upper cast treated as kings. My grandfather was a scholar and he has these people they call "Mureeth" (lower cast). They are pretty much treated as slaves and one of them came to canada recently he did a sajdah to my dad. My dad didnt like it but he said it is normal in india and pakistan. Everyone treats him like a slave and he likes it because he thinks he will get jannah if acts as a slave for the "Murshaat" (scholar, upper cast) families work. Even more wierd he was doing my dads work for the party it was time for maghrib he did not pray yet he kept cleaning and doing work. Because that is more important then the Salah.

Majority of my family understands where i am coming from. But the problem is they have too much pride and some of my family members just dont care. Is it must upon me to give them dawah or should i just ignore it. Because everytime i tell my dad or mom anything they get offended and start attacking me. Plus my family in the first place doesnt seem to care too much about islam either. For them its more about pride in society and how everyone treats them because of my grandfather.

Can i also disobey my parents if they want me to participate in their traditions?
Should i stop giving them dawah if they dont really care?
Can i move out of my house even though my parents dont want me to because of all the unislamic distractions?

[bint_muhammed]

yeah your parents certainly are committing shirk,i advice you to not participate in their traditions however you'll be more influence living with them, moving out will upset them more so just keep trying, maybe some lectures might help, you ca get them at islamic shops explaining shirk and its punishments.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

If they ask of u do anything unislamic, for instance committing shirk, then u must disobey them. Anything that goes against what we have been told or goes against Allah(swt) you should avoid. I dont think u should give up giving dawah. The best way you can attract them is with your character, your good Muslim character. Don't try to shove things at them or it will just push them away. I think its best you shouldnt completely lose contact with them, but InshAllah someone else could tell u. InshAllah, i hope this helps you a bit :)

Salaam Alaikum

Btw, are ur parents Muslim or Hindu?

[glo]

Who do your parents ask for help, other than Allah?

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[syilla]

^^^i think it is a cultural thing...

the ancestors did it...and it become a custom

[DigitalStorm82]

You know the truth... you are in light... where they are in darkness...

Its your duty to invite them to the light...never stop giving dawah.

and as others have mentioned... you're allowed to disobey your parents if they go against Islam.

Keep making duah and inshallah Allah will show them the right path.

W'salaamz

[thirdwatch512]

confused.. so are you a muslim with a hindu family, or? explain more for me please! lol

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

You are obligated to obey your parents for everything they tell you except shirk. Over there, politely refuse to commit it, and give them Dawah away from that. You know them best, tell it to them in a way that will make them care. And always make lots of Dua for them.

:w:

[limitless]

:sl:

I don't think showing them "light" would help (if you mean telling them) because they will neglect. You certainly should make dawah, but if you attempted to show them what real Islam is all about and failed on your third or fourth try, just pray for them hopefully they will get out of this, if Allaah wishs.

These type of people will not realise something if you tell them about it; its the same with my brother. No matter how hard you try, it just doesn't work, but dawah will work. Just don't give up on that part no matter. Also, you should try to practice real Islam; that might influence them or get them interested.

:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

confused.. so are you a muslim with a hindu family, or? explain more for me please! lol

No, My family has hindu cultural stuff into them since they lived in majority hindu country. But my family claims its islam and they say its alright for them to do those traditional stuff.

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

You are obligated to obey your parents for everything they tell you except shirk. Over there, politely refuse to commit it, and give them Dawah away from that. You know them best, tell it to them in a way that will make them care. And always make lots of Dua for them.

:w:

I tried giving dawah but my family has too much pride. My father refuses to listen to me since i am his child. I had reached an imam he talked to my dad and my dad claims were he refuses to belive that his father was incorrect. I even showed him Quranic ayats. My dad knows quran and hadeeths he reads quran but its hard for him to accept something that goes agaisnt his father (my grandfather). Whenever I try to give dawah my dad gets pissed off at me i try my best to keep it calm but my dad gets aggressive. Is it better for me to give him dawah if he gets mad at me?

[anonymous]

not original poster.

I tried giving dawah but my family has too much pride. My father refuses to listen to me since i am his child. I had reached an imam he talked to my dad and my dad claims were he refuses to belive that his father was incorrect. I even showed him Quranic ayats. My dad knows quran and hadeeths he reads quran but its hard for him to accept something that goes agaisnt his father (my grandfather). Whenever I try to give dawah my dad gets pissed off at me i try my best to keep it calm but my dad gets aggressive. Is it better for me to give him dawah if he gets mad at me?

salams bro/sis

my advise is, be like the son of Azar, Ibrahim PBUH, he use to keep making dawah to his dad consistently even though his dad use to get really annoyed, however he use to always maintain good manners with him.

Sometimes it's a good idea to find the best times to talk to your dad.. like when he's nto annoyed, when he is annoyed, try to let him cool off without compromising ur stance and then find the approach that will cause least frustration to him inshalah...

remember your goal is to convince him, not to test his anger limits... do your best, make dua for him, n all the best inshalah :)

salams

[thirdwatch512]

No, My family has hindu cultural stuff into them since they lived in majority hindu country. But my family claims its islam and they say its alright for them to do those traditional stuff.

oh ok.

well of course, being muslim don't mean they still can't have a life outside f their religion.

however, just do whatever the qu'ran says to. lol but what your parents are doing may be more of a cultural thing then a religious, which isn't that bad of a thing.

just try and bear with them and tell them what you believe is right and wrong.

[north_malaysian]

Following things they do:
1) Sajdah to graves

What is "sajdah to graves"?

[Malaikah]

:sl:

^Sajdah is prostration :uuh: So it sounds like he means, prostrating to graves. :uuh::offended:

[anonymous]

:sl: brothers and sisters.

i think it means, prostration to graves.^^

and anonymous...

031.015
"But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did."



hope that helps
:sl:

[north_malaysian]

:sl:

^Sajdah is prostration :uuh: So it sounds like he means, prostrating to graves. :uuh::offended:

Ooohh... in Malay Language "Sajadah" also means "prayer mat"... thus I think but a praying mat has to do with graves....

But still "prostrating to graves" is ridiculous. So UnIslamic!!!:offended:

Never see people doing this in Malaysia, but many Indian Muslims do venerate tombs of saints in Penang... with loads of flowers, candles etc... but they dont prostrate to graves... SILLY!!!

[Dawud_uk]

assalaamu alaykum,

wow that is pretty heavy stuff and probably the worse case i have heard before, may Allah make your guide your family to islam and out of kufr, ameen.

there is a principle in islam that there is no obedience to the creation that is in disobedience to the creator so if they tell you do something haram like an innovation or even worse shirk you have every right to refuse them and tell them you would never do such an act.

but then again as everyone has pointed out you have a clear obligation to call them to islam. Allah says in the Quran, 'o you who believe, guard yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones'

subhanallah scary isnt it?
but remember many of the family of our beloved prophet saws also disbelieved though he didnt stop calling them to islam, some accepted and some died as kaffirs.

find the ayat's of the Quran talking about how the mushrik's of mekkah were like they are now, how they said they only went to their god's as interceeders before Allah and how they're claim to be upon the truth was based on how they found their fathers doing it.

try showing him these, keep your cool. that is important and insha'allah a strong calm character can do much better than getting angry.

practice your deen as best you can and dont think about leaving them unless it is preventing you from practicing islam.

i must also add as your family are committing shirk then your salaah is not valid behind them and you cannot pray salaah in jammat with your father or anyone else who believes in this hindu crap leading you in prayer so although it will cause a problem dont pray behind them as their beliefs are kufr and the same as the mushrik's in the time of the prophet Muhammad saws.

maybe try that line? show them how their beliefs are different to those of Muhammad saws and the early generations and how they are upon kufr and it is the same kufr of quresh.

assalaamu alaykum,
Abu Abdullah

[AnonymousPoster]

Ooohh... in Malay Language "Sajadah" also means "prayer mat"... thus I think but a praying mat has to do with graves....

But still "prostrating to graves" is ridiculous. So UnIslamic!!!:offended:

Never see people doing this in Malaysia, but many Indian Muslims do venerate tombs of saints in Penang... with loads of flowers, candles etc... but they dont prostrate to graves... SILLY!!!

Brother they just dont only prostrate to the graves they also believe the person inside the grave will help them when they pray to him. A person said he prayed for a son he got it from that saint who is dead in the grave. This is a sect in india which many of you should know i will not mention the name as it is not allowed.

[AnonymousPoster]

assalaamu alaykum,

wow that is pretty heavy stuff and probably the worse case i have heard before, may Allah make your guide your family to islam and out of kufr, ameen.

there is a principle in islam that there is no obedience to the creation that is in disobedience to the creator so if they tell you do something haram like an innovation or even worse shirk you have every right to refuse them and tell them you would never do such an act.

but then again as everyone has pointed out you have a clear obligation to call them to islam. Allah says in the Quran, 'o you who believe, guard yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones'

subhanallah scary isnt it?
but remember many of the family of our beloved prophet saws also disbelieved though he didnt stop calling them to islam, some accepted and some died as kaffirs.

find the ayat's of the Quran talking about how the mushrik's of mekkah were like they are now, how they said they only went to their god's as interceeders before Allah and how they're claim to be upon the truth was based on how they found their fathers doing it.

try showing him these, keep your cool. that is important and insha'allah a strong calm character can do much better than getting angry.

practice your deen as best you can and dont think about leaving them unless it is preventing you from practicing islam.

i must also add as your family are committing shirk then your salaah is not valid behind them and you cannot pray salaah in jammat with your father or anyone else who believes in this hindu crap leading you in prayer so although it will cause a problem dont pray behind them as their beliefs are kufr and the same as the mushrik's in the time of the prophet Muhammad saws.

maybe try that line? show them how their beliefs are different to those of Muhammad saws and the early generations and how they are upon kufr and it is the same kufr of quresh.

assalaamu alaykum,
Abu Abdullah

Alhumd'Allah we go to mosque that follows Quran and sunnah. Its kind of hard to explain. My dad does not believe in this stuff he knows what im saying is the truth. But because of his pride that he gets through my grandfather who was a scholar my dad is not willing to change. I never seen or heard my dad do these weird things. Yes, some of my family members do call on Imam Ali R.A. Fatima R.A. Hussian R.A. Ghousaam etc. But recently i did see some change as one of my brother and sister agree with me. But there problem is they want to live a "secular" live. I want my family pratice islam thats it. It is quite hard for me to follow islam has they have loud music playing. My brother would be listening to music in the car in ramadan while we would go to mosque. I really think my family does affect me in bad way moving me away from islam. But i have to agree i do see good too most of the time. Whenever i pray i see my sister join in and recently my brother started to pray all the fards. So it goes both ways they have an effect on me while i have an affect on them. My family is really messed up this is not even a joke. I think they are really confused specially as they were never were introduced to this concept that you cannot call other then allah. Plus no one in my family had ever taken a stand against my dad. I do believe insh'allah soon my whole family will come to the true islam. But the problem is sometimes they drag me down with them.

Anyways you guys were great jazak'allah!

[Dawud_uk]

assalaamu alaykum bruv,

i know it can be hard, sometimes discussing matters with my family who are open kaffirs will drag me down and you do need breaks sometimes. maybe you could do ettikaf in the masjid occassionally to recharge your batteries when you need it?

assalaamu alaykum,
Abu Abdullah