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maryamjp
11-03-2006, 03:42 AM
:sl:
Assalamu Alikum, brothers and sisters,
My mother died 3 years back. She was not muslim, but wonderful mother with good characters such as sincere, honest, hard work, neat and clean, generous. I was thinking someday I would make her muslim but the day had come to her suddenly when I was living far away from her. That day I was shocked , at the same time coursed myself why I didn't make her muslim.
Since my background is totally non-islamic( I am reverted muslim), It was hard to introduce islam to my aged mother.
Anyway I still wanna pray Allah for my mother, but can I make dua for her?
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AnonymousPoster
11-03-2006, 05:27 PM
I had a dear friend who passed and wasn't muslim, one of the many reasons for my devestation save his young age as well. I was advised not to make prayers or Duaa for him, but did anyway. It helped me with my greiving. As God knows there were some days when it seemed so senseless that I couldn't even get out of bed!

Perhaps I am giving you wrong advise? I know others will oppose. I don't see prayers for a non-muslim as a cardinal sin. as the Prophet Peace be upon him used to make duaa to Omar Ibn Ilkhtab, but that was for Guidence unto the right path, and his prayers were answered.

Anyhow, I have always been partial to whatever helps a person get over their grief and sense of loss...

I am sorry for your troubles dear sister.
:w:
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whitesoul
11-03-2006, 06:23 PM
in my opinion, u should not make dua 4 ur mother or 4 any non-muslims.it is 2 late she had been visited by death.Prophet(S.A.W) uncle was reaching 2 his death. Prophet(S.A.W) came 2 him n said 2 recite de testimony but his uncle refused,Prophet(S.A.W) said if u recite de testimony i will save u on the day of judgement.yet de uncle refused and took his last breath. sister, leave de dead they are gone u should let go n carry on ur life pleasing Allah and following de sunnah. Remember ur whole lifetime should b devoted 2 Allah. do not get upset, i am no scholar. so i inform u 2 tlk 2 a female scholar.
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Kittygyal
11-03-2006, 07:17 PM
Assalamualikum warhmathullahi warbarakathuhu

am so sowiee to hear about your mam :( i have lost my mam aswel 6years now :'( you can always make Du3'ah for her because remember UKthi one day we will all leave our soul behind this life is nothing but a test from Allah subhanawatallah.
even my mam was a christin && am a revert to Islam aswel but as i said we will all die in hands of Allah even if your intention was to make her a muslim Allah knows && your self, always make Du3'ah for her that Allah subhanwatallah looks after her inshallah


please remember me in your Du3'ah inshalllah

walikumassalm warhmathullahi warbarakathuhu
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Firdaus
11-04-2006, 12:36 PM
salam
you can make du'ah for her because maybe she was totally ignorant about islam. Still if you make du'ah for her, she will received it directly in her grave and insha Allah, Allah will grant her paradise. Ameen
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anonymous
11-04-2006, 07:52 PM
:( Sad ta hear it sis,
May Allah have mercy on her but @ the end of the day she died the death of a kafir so i duna really :(
Sorry
Innalillahi wa innailahi raji'un
^^ Is tat even permisable to say?!
Sum1 els inshAllah can takl dis, me out...
:) :w:
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maryamjp
11-06-2006, 01:41 AM
:sl:
Thanks brothers & sister for good advice. This kid of pain, only reverted muslim whoes parents are non-muslim have. I don't think born muslims whoes whole family are muslim may understand.
Whenever I badly miss my mother I make dua at home accoding to the advice of my husband and mother-inlaw. This may emotional but it helps me a lot because I believe that this may help the soul of my mother and ease my guilty feelings. :w:
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Umar001
11-06-2006, 02:04 AM
Originally Posted by maryamjp
:sl:
Thanks brothers & sister for good advice. This kid of pain, only reverted muslim whoes parents are non-muslim have. I don't think born muslims whoes whole family are muslim may understand.
Whenever I badly miss my mother I make dua at home accoding to the advice of my husband and mother-inlaw. This may emotional but it helps me a lot because I believe that this may help the soul of my mother and ease my guilty feelings. :w:
Assalamu Aleykum,

Dear sister, please do not be mad at me, nor let your emotions get the better of you, in what I will say.

I am also a revert Muslim, whos grandmother passed away, and who's family, coming from a country with Muslims, readily dislikes Islam, whose Mother has cried and cried and begged and begged me to leave Islam, so I think I know how it can feel. Sometimes, I sit with my mother and I see the pain she goes through in this dunya, working harder then most people because of our problems, and now crying harder because she feels her son is going hell, but I can't change that, whatever Allah wills He wills.

The words of Ibrahim give me courage in the face of my family, heres an extract from Ibn Kathir:

﴿سَأَسْتَغْفِرُ لَكَ رَبِّي﴾


(I will ask forgiveness of my Lord for you.) meaning "But, I will ask Allah to guide you and forgive you for your sin.''


﴿إِنَّهُ كَانَ بِى حَفِيّاً﴾


(Verily, He is unto me Hafiyya.) Ibn `Abbas and others said that Hafiyyan means, "Kind.'' Meaning, "since He guided me to worship Him and direct my religious devotion to Him alone.'' As-Suddi said, "Al-Hafi is One Who is concerned with his (Ibrahim's) affair.'' Thus, Ibrahim sought forgiveness for his father for a very long time, even after he migrated to Ash-Sham. He continued to seek forgiveness for him even after building the Sacred Masjid (in Makkah) and after the birth of his two sons, Isma`il and Ishaq. This can be seen in his statement,


﴿رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِى وَلِوَالِدَىَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ ﴾


(Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established.) ﴿14:41﴾ From this tradition, during the beginning stages of Islam, the Muslims used to seek forgiveness for their relatives and their family members who were polytheists. They did this following the way of Ibrahim, the Khalil (Friend) of Allah, until Allah revealed,


﴿قَدْ كَانَتْ لَكُمْ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ فِى إِبْرَهِيمَ وَالَّذِينَ مَعَهُ إِذْ قَالُواْ لِقَوْمِهِمْ إِنَّا بُرَءآؤاْ مِّنْكُمْ وَمِمَّا تَعْبُدُونَ مِن دُونِ اللَّهِ﴾


(Indeed there has been an excellent example for you in Ibrahim and those with him, when they said to their people: "Verily, we are free from you and whatever you worship besides Allah.'') ﴿60:4﴾ Until Allah's statement,


﴿إِلاَّ قَوْلَ إِبْرَهِيمَ لاًّبِيهِ لاّسْتَغْفِرَنَّ لَكَ وَمَآ أَمْلِكُ لَكَ مِنَ اللَّهِ مِن شَىْءٍ﴾


(Except the saying of Ibrahim to his father: "Verily, I will ask forgiveness (from Allah) for you, but I have no power to do anything for you before Allah.'') ﴿60:4﴾ meaning, except for this statement, so do not follow it. Then Allah explains that Ibrahim abandoned this statement and retracted it. Allah, the Exalted, says,


﴿مَا كَانَ لِلنَّبِىِّ وَالَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ أَن يَسْتَغْفِرُواْ لِلْمُشْرِكِينَ﴾


(It is not (proper) for the Prophet and those who believe to ask Allah's forgiveness for the idolators.) ﴿9:113﴾ Until Allah's statement,


﴿وَمَا كَانَ اسْتِغْفَارُ إِبْرَهِيمَ لاًّبِيهِ إِلاَّ عَن مَّوْعِدَةٍ وَعَدَهَآ إِيَّاهُ فَلَمَّا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُ أَنَّهُ عَدُوٌّ لِلَّهِ تَبَرَّأَ مِنْهُ إِنَّ إِبْرَهِيمَ لأَوَّاهٌ حَلِيمٌ ﴾


(And Ibrahim's invoking for his father's forgiveness was only because of a promise he had made to him. But when it became clear to him that he is an enemy of Allah, he dissociated himself from him.
Am sure the is ample more to read with regard to this, and truly you should remember Allah's blessing on you, for if you find it hard now, thank Allah that you were not born at the time of the Prophet, where sahaba used to fight their own parents and children.

I leave you with the final words, words spoken to Muhammad at the death of his Uncle:

Surely you cannot guide whom you love, but Allah guides whom He pleases, and He knows best the followers of the right way.
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ZOREENA
11-06-2006, 01:04 PM
Originally Posted by whitesoul
in my opinion, u should not make dua 4 ur mother or 4 any non-muslims.it is 2 late she had been visited by death..

Dont think that justifies not making Du'aa for your departed....I AM ACTUALLI SHOCKED AT YOUR REMARK!!
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Malaikah
11-08-2006, 10:41 AM
^Why not sis? :? Dont you know that God forbad the prophet to make dua for his non-muslim uncle when he passed away?
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Mohsin
11-08-2006, 10:45 AM
Originally Posted by cheese
^Why not sis? :? Dont you know that God forbad the prophet to make dua for his non-muslim uncle when he passed away?
perhaps that was because they openly rejecfted islam when the messenger was infront of them and they saw all the miracles of silam and still rejected it. it is possible in this case the mother was unaware of islam so maybe you are allwoed to do du'a for them. Allah Knows best
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Umar001
11-08-2006, 11:04 AM
Assalamu Aleykum Wa Rhametulah,

The pain of losing a close one is indescribable, a pain that is heart wrentching, but we must all remember that Allah will not punish unjustly, nor will Allah enter anyone into the hellfire without having sent them a warner. Sometimes, we think to ourselves, but my mother, my grandmother or so forth, was so old and frail and she hardly knew alot, we need to remember that they were once like us, they were young and that they had their choices, and that it is upto The Mercyful, The Entirely Compassionate, to judge in Justice as He Will. I hope that noone prolongs the false hopes, thus prologing pain, the people of paradise are those whom we love, and I ask Allah to make all of us among them.

Anyhow, I will paste this, which I hope is comforting and at the same time educational, and may Allah have mercy upon us.

Are the parents of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in Paradise or in Hell?

Question:
Where are the parents of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Are they in Paradise or in Hell? We hope you can tell us of a hadeeth which proves the answer?.

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

There is a hadeeth from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) which indicates that they are in Hell.

Muslim (203) narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that a man said: “O Messenger of Allaah, where is my father?” He said: “In Hell.” When he turned away he called him back and said: “My father and your father are in Hell.”

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

This shows that whoever dies in a state of kufr will be in Hell. And being related to one who is close to Allaah will not avail him anything. It also shows that whoever died during the fatrah (the interval between the Prophethood of ‘Eesa (peace be upon him) and that of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) and was the follower of the way of the Arabs at that time, which was idol worship, will also be among the people of Hell. There is no excuse for the call not reaching them, because the call of Ibraaheem and other Prophets (peace be upon them) had reached these people.

Muslim (976) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I asked my Lord for permission to pray for forgiveness for my mother, but He did not give me permission. And I asked Him for permission to visit her grave, and He gave me permission.”

It says in ‘Awn al-Ma’bood:

“But He did not give me permission” means: because she was a kaafirah (disbeliever) and it is not permissible to pray for forgiveness for the kuffaar.

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

This shows that it is not permitted to pray for forgiveness for the kuffaar.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “My father and your father are in Hell,” he spoke with knowledge, for he did not speak on the basis of his whims and desires, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“By the star when it goes down (or vanishes).

2. Your companion (Muhammad) has neither gone astray nor has erred.

3. Nor does he speak of (his own) desire.

4. It is only a Revelation revealed”

[al-Najm 53:1-4]

Were it not that proof has been established against ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Muttalib, the father of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would not have said what he did about him. Perhaps he had heard something that established proof against him on the basis of the religion of Ibraaheem, because they used to follow the religion of Ibraaheem until the innovations were introduced by ‘Amr ibn Luhayy al-Khuzaa’i and his innovations became widespread among the people, such as the propagation of idols and praying to them instead of to Allaah. Perhaps ‘Abd-Allaah had heard something that showed him that the idol worship of Quraysh was wrong, but he still followed them, and thus proof was established against him. Similarly, the hadeeth which says that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked for permission to pray for forgiveness for his mother but it was not granted, and he asked for permission to visit her grave and he was permitted to do so but not to pray for forgiveness for her, perhaps she had heard something that established proof against her, or perhaps the people of the Jaahiliyyah are to be treated as kuffaar as far as rulings in this world are concerned, so we should not pray for them or pray for forgiveness for them, because outwardly they seem to be kuffaar, and should be regarded and dealt with as such, and their case in the Hereafter is for Allaah to judge.
Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb

Al-Suyooti (may Allaah have mercy on him) was of the view that the parents of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) will be saved (from Hell), and that Allaah brought them back to life after they had died and they believed in him.

This view was rejected by the majority of scholars who ruled that the ahaadeeth which indicate that are fabricated (mawdoo’) or very weak (da’eef jiddan).

It says in ‘Awn al-Ma’bood:

Most of the reports that been narrated to the effect that the parents of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) were brought back to life and believed in him and were saved are fabricated and false. Some of them are very weak and cannot be saheeh under any circumstances, as the imams of hadeeth are unanimously agreed that they are fabricated, such as al-Daaraqutni, al-Jawzaqaani, Ibn Shaheen, al-Khateeb, Ibn ‘Asaakir, Ibn Naasir, Ibn al-Jawzi, al-Suhayli, al-Qurtubi, al-Muhibb, al-Tabari, Fath al-Deen ibn Sayyid al-Naas, Ibraaheem al-Halabi and others. The scholar Ibraaheem al-Halabi explained at length the fact that the parents of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) have not been saved from Hell in a separate essay, as did ‘Ali al-Qaari in Sharh al-Fiqh al-Akbar and in a separate essay. The basis for this opinion is the soundness of this hadeeth (“My father and your father are in Hell”). Shaykh Jalaal al-Deen al-Suyooti differed from the huffaaz and scholars and affirmed that they had believed and had been saved, and he wrote numerous essays on that topic, including al-Ta’zeem wa’l-Minnah fi anna Abaway Rasool-Illaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) fi’l-Jannah.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Is there any saheeh report from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that Allaah brought his parents back to life so that they could become Muslims, then they died (again) after that?

He replied: There is no saheeh report to that effect from the scholars of hadeeth. Rather the scholars are agreed that this is an invented lie… There is no dispute among the scholars that this is one of the most obvious of fabrications, as was stated by those who have knowledge. That does not appear in any of the reliable books of hadeeth, either in the Saheehs or the Sunans or the Musnads or any other well-known books of hadeeth. It was not mentioned by the authors of the books of Maghaazi or Tafseer, even though they narrated da’eef (weak) reports along with saheeh (sound) ones. The fact that this is a lie is clear to any one who has any knowledge of religion. If such a thing had happened there would have been a great deal of motivation to transmit it, because it is something that is extraordinary on two counts: the raising of the dead and believing after death. Such a thing would have been more deserving of being transmitted than anything else. Since no trustworthy narrated transmitted it, it may be understood that this is a lie.

Moreover, this goes against the Qur’aan and the saheeh Sunnah, and the consensus of the scholars. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Allaah accepts only the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and foolishness and repent soon afterwards; it is they whom Allaah will forgive and Allaah is Ever All‑Knower, All‑Wise.

18. And of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil deeds until death faces one of them and he says: ‘Now I repent;’ nor of those who die while they are disbelievers”

[al-Nisa’ 4:17-18]

So Allaah states that there is no repentance for one who dies as a disbeliever. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Then their Faith (in Islamic Monotheism) could not avail them when they saw Our punishment. (Like) this has been the way of Allaah in dealing with His slaves. And there the disbelievers lost utterly (when Our Torment covered them)”

[Ghaafir 40:85]

So He tells us that the way in which He deals with His slaves is that faith will be to no avail once they have seen the punishment, so how about after death? And there are other similar texts. Then he quoted the two hadeeth which we quoted at the beginning of our answer.

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 4/325-327.

Islam Q&A

Source


Now, I know someone will say 'well we dont know if she was a kaffir for sure' and so on, and that the Prophet had knowledge of the Unseen if Allah let him, and so forth.

It is upto the sister to think of whether your mother rejected Islam or not, and so on, you don't need to share that part with us as it is very personal, and I hope that you and me both, sister, will enter Jannah :)

Keep persistant and steadfast, inshaAllah.

your brother Eesa.
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anonymous
11-08-2006, 11:16 AM
Originally Posted by Mohsin
perhaps that was because they openly rejecfted islam when the messenger was infront of them and they saw all the miracles of silam and still rejected it. it is possible in this case the mother was unaware of islam so maybe you are allwoed to do du'a for them. Allah Knows best
lol where did u get teh analogy from....

it's a general rule... the prophets mum was unaware of Islam too but was mushrik... salams
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Mezier
11-09-2006, 03:57 AM
:sl:

That has got to be the toughest thing a child can go through. You know who you can relate to? The Prophet saws. He was in the exact position you are in, subhanallah!! His mother died a non-believer. So he asked Allah if he could grieve for his mother, and he was allowed to. Then he asked Allah if he could make dua for his mother, but Allah forbade this, so obviously the Prophet saws didnt.

The Prophet saws is an example for us. IF you look into his life you can easily find many many hardships that you could relate to yourself, so take his example because he was so beloved to Allah, and Allah wanted his best! So do what Allah wants best for you, inshallah.

I hope this helps.

:w:
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