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AnonymousPoster
11-07-2006, 08:08 PM
:sl:
i need to let this out i feel really low and i been feeling depressed for some time keeping it will make it worse so i am going to let it out.

A few years ago i was involved in an accident and that left me with a scar across my face is not that bad i wear make up and i try to hide it but is still visable.:(

my cousin, my sisters who are all so beautiful(unlike me) all got married one after the other, my family been trying to find me a brother but well who said looks doesnt count?:rollseyes

i get no attention at all, no proposals simply nothing, and i believe is because this dumb scar:cry:

people say to me `OH dont worry reach Jannah and you will be beautiful then`. I am sorry but this hurts. No woman likes to be called ugly.

i got no self esteem and i am paranoid. I wish nobody went for looks but strictly for personality and deen because i posses both.

So thanks for reading this and i just wanted to let it out.:cry:
:w:
Reply

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glo
11-07-2006, 08:20 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:sl:
i need to let this out i feel really low and i been feeling depressed for some time keeping it will make it worse so i am going to let it out.

A few years ago i was involved in an accident and that left me with a scar across my face is not that bad i wear make up and i try to hide it but is still visable.:(

my cousin, my sisters who are all so beautiful(unlike me) all got married one after the other, my family been trying to find me a brother but well who said looks doesnt count?:rollseyes

i get no attention at all, no proposals simply nothing, and i believe is because this dumb scar:cry:

people say to me `OH dont worry reach Jannah and you will be beautiful then`. I am sorry but this hurts. No woman likes to be called ugly.

i got no self esteem and i am paranoid. I wish nobody went for looks but strictly for personality and deen because i posses both.

So thanks for reading this and i just wanted to let it out.:cry:
:w:
Oh, sister, I am sorry to hear of your injury! :(

Sometimes people say things with the best intention, without realising how patronising or hurtful it may be for the recipient.

Islam teaches that you will have your reward in the afterlife, and you should hold on to that hope!
But it doesn't much ease the pain and hurt you are feeling now in this earthly life.

I don't know how obvious your scar is - but do you really think of yourself as ugly? Take a good long look at yourself. I am sure you are more beautiful that you think at times ...

I pray that you will learn to love yourself as you are!
Never mind what other people think of you ... God loves you, just as you are - and so should you!

May God bless you abundantly, sister. :)
Reply

Hijaabi22
11-07-2006, 08:20 PM
Aaaaaaw! Honey, I dunno wat 2 say... Im sure your beauuurifulllll, (this is a sis talkin ryt?), and i have one phrase 4 u, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, InshaAllah I AM SUUUUUUURRRREEEE there is sum1 out there 4 u WIDOUTTTT SA DOUBT! And like U said, U have both the deen and the personality MASHAAAAAAALLLLAAAAHHHH! Luk at it this way, theres loadsa people out there hu have the luks and thats about it, no deen no personality, now i know 4 a FACT that most people out there luk beyond looks, so girl CHIN UP, BE HAPPY wid wat U R and who you are and just be gr8ful 4 everythin you have, and inshaAllah one day I hope all ya dreanms come true and you find inshaAllah a pious spouse who will give you all you deserve, Ameeeeeeeennn!! SMILE PWEEZ! 4 ME ??? ;) xx
Reply

Umar001
11-07-2006, 08:27 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:sl:
i need to let this out i feel really low and i been feeling depressed for some time keeping it will make it worse so i am going to let it out.

A few years ago i was involved in an accident and that left me with a scar across my face is not that bad i wear make up and i try to hide it but is still visable.:(

my cousin, my sisters who are all so beautiful(unlike me) all got married one after the other, my family been trying to find me a brother but well who said looks doesnt count?:rollseyes

i get no attention at all, no proposals simply nothing, and i believe is because this dumb scar:cry:

people say to me `OH dont worry reach Jannah and you will be beautiful then`. I am sorry but this hurts. No woman likes to be called ugly.

i got no self esteem and i am paranoid. I wish nobody went for looks but strictly for personality and deen because i posses both.

So thanks for reading this and i just wanted to let it out.:cry:
:w:
Assalamu aleykum, :offended:

Am so sorry, I feel like crying, you know sister, there are some brothers who, now you have to trust me, am not saying this as a lie to make you feel better, but there are brothers who will find you beautiful, beauty is not something that everyone will agree on, one person might find someone beautiful while the other does not. What is the assessment of beauty.

You do have the majority of people who take that to be beautiful u have to be this and that and hieght is this and lips like that and so on, but that beauty fades, that beauty can go as quick as it came, rather look at those who judge beauty with wisdom sister.

What is it that makes a lady who has stretch marks from giving birth beautiful in the eyes of the wise husband?

What is it that makes people with severe burns beautiful in the eyes of the ones they love?

You see, I personally hold the view, that beauty is a reflection in my eyes of what is withing, Wallahi, there is nothing more beautiful then a Muslimah on her deen, following the way of the Prophet and companions, peace be upon him, nothing more beautiful, that is why sometimes brothers find themselves thinking, SubhanAllah taht sister is beautiful, and then you think, wait, she is wearing niqab how can i say she's beautiful, it is only because of the way she carries herself, the way she walks in humilty, the way she impliments the sunnah and so forth..

There is nothing more beautiful than a servant of Allah who is upon the truth and is submitted to Him truly.

I know you might think, 'yea right, it wont help when I show him my scar' sister, if a person is shallow enough to leave you because of a scar then khalas leave that person no problem, he knows his limiations, but be sure, the one that embraces you even if you have a scar even if you are obese even if you have disabilities, that brother, inshaAllah will love you because of you as a person, because of your beauty that reflects from deep inside the beauty that will only grow instead of fade with time as you become wise.

You dont want nor need a foolish man,

I hope you believe me, at least that you believe that I think I am speaking the truth, cos I really do see it like this.

:)
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Muhammad
11-07-2006, 08:53 PM
:sl:

Islam teaches that you will have your reward in the afterlife, and you should hold on to that hope!
But it doesn't much ease the pain and hurt you are feeling now in this earthly life.
Islam teaches us that our actions and intentions are what matter; not our appearances. Let us look at the following verses of the Glorious Qur'an:

O Children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts, etc.) and as an adornment, and the raiment of righteousness, that is better. Such are among the Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allâh, that they may remember (i.e. leave falsehood and follow truth ). 7: 26

... Verily, the most honourable of you with Allâh is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. one of the Muttaqûn (pious - see V.2:2). Verily, Allâh is All-Knowing, All-Aware. 49:13

And the same concept is delivered by this hadeeth:

"Allah does not look at your appearance or your possessions; but He looks at your heart and your deeds." (Muslim)

Therefore so long as you have this inner beauty, this Taqwa of Allaah, it does not matter what the people think of you on the outside. I believe that this certainly does help to ease the pain and that the hope of the hereafter is a bonus in addition to all this. People are tested in this life: some are poor, some are blind, some deaf and others experience deaths; so we need to be thankful for what Allaah has given us and for saving us from being in a worser situation.

:w:
Reply

TheRightPathI
11-07-2006, 09:25 PM
Originally Posted by IsaAbdullah
Assalamu aleykum,
You see, I personally hold the view, that beauty is a reflection in my eyes of what is withing, Wallahi, there is nothing more beautiful then a Muslimah on her deen, following the way of the Prophet and companions, peace be upon him, nothing more beautiful, that is why sometimes brothers find themselves thinking, SubhanAllah taht sister is beautiful, and then you think, wait, she is wearing niqab how can i say she's beautiful, it is only because of the way she carries herself, the way she walks in humilty, the way she impliments the sunnah and so forth..

There is nothing more beautiful than a servant of Allah who is upon the truth and is submitted to Him truly.

:)
:sl: I thought I was the only one who thought like this. :w:
Reply

Ismahaan
11-07-2006, 10:19 PM
Assalamu Alaikum,

Didn't you make the below statement sis?

Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:sl: I should be marryin soon but i keep delayin it this is simply because i am not physically perfect yet, i need to loose about 3 stones and tone up.
My fiance and is family are now thinkin i am having second though which is not true at all. I am embaressed to tell the real reason though..dont know what to do:cry: :w:
Your posts are somewhat inconsistent????????
Reply

Ismahaan
11-07-2006, 10:21 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:sl:
i need to let this out i feel really low and i been feeling depressed for some time keeping it will make it worse so i am going to let it out.

A few years ago i was involved in an accident and that left me with a scar across my face is not that bad i wear make up and i try to hide it but is still visable.:(

my cousin, my sisters who are all so beautiful(unlike me) all got married one after the other, my family been trying to find me a brother but well who said looks doesnt count?:rollseyes

i get no attention at all, no proposals simply nothing, and i believe is because this dumb scar:cry:

people say to me `OH dont worry reach Jannah and you will be beautiful then`. I am sorry but this hurts. No woman likes to be called ugly.

i got no self esteem and i am paranoid. I wish nobody went for looks but strictly for personality and deen because i posses both.

So thanks for reading this and i just wanted to let it out.:cry:
:w:
Also, are you Anonymous Tester AND Anonymous Gender as well? :? :? :?
Reply

chacha_jalebi
11-07-2006, 10:25 PM
sister if someone looks @ your looks and decides whether to make you a life partner, then that person is a retarded abused ******** :D:D:D:D :p and it you would be better off without someone like that!

sister Allah (swt) will never do injustice to us, theres always good behind his doings, but we fail to see it sumtimes, also ask your mummy, and your family if you are good lookin or not :D they will tell you :p everyone is good looking :D

1 little scar shouldnt let you feel down, :D:D:D so sista smile always because im sure Allah (swt) has chosen someone special for you and you just gota be patient and inshallah, you will have a heavy partner soon :D:D:D ameen :D:D
Reply

Ismahaan
11-07-2006, 10:28 PM
Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
lol, It's because the Anon account is used by several different people...

Oh okay :uhwhat :hiding:
Reply

BlissfullyJaded
11-07-2006, 10:28 PM
:sl:

Anonymous Gender shows up as Anonymous Tester on the forum page. Different people obviously use it, therefore, the quote you showed there is that of another member who also wishes to remain anonymous. :) Oops I was late...jazakallah khair bro Alpha.

To the topic starter: You're better off without men who only look for outer beauty and not at inner beauty. It is better that they behave this way before marriage, rather than you be married, get a scar, and end up divorced because you're no longer beautiful enough. Its hard to look at the bright side of things, but everything happens for a reason. In the bleakest of moments, remember Allah is with you, and He is protecting you from something that can be so much worse. Be grateful for your situation, no matter how hard it is.

May Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) grant you ease, and grant you a husband who fears Allah and is compatible with you. Ameen.
Reply

*noor
11-07-2006, 10:35 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:sl:
i need to let this out i feel really low and i been feeling depressed for some time keeping it will make it worse so i am going to let it out.

A few years ago i was involved in an accident and that left me with a scar across my face is not that bad i wear make up and i try to hide it but is still visable.:(

my cousin, my sisters who are all so beautiful(unlike me) all got married one after the other, my family been trying to find me a brother but well who said looks doesnt count?:rollseyes

i get no attention at all, no proposals simply nothing, and i believe is because this dumb scar:cry:

people say to me `OH dont worry reach Jannah and you will be beautiful then`. I am sorry but this hurts. No woman likes to be called ugly.

i got no self esteem and i am paranoid. I wish nobody went for looks but strictly for personality and deen because i posses both.

So thanks for reading this and i just wanted to let it out.:cry:
:w:

:sl:

Sister anonymous please listen to what I want to say. Some of us have flawless looks and some of us don't. So what?? It seems to me that the people with the not so attractive looks are luckier in a way. That way you know that the man who married you did not marry you for your looks. If you were very attractive and had a flawless face, someone may have married you mainly for that. You said that your sisters and your cousins are "beautiful" and got married one after the other. So how do you know their husbands didn't choose to marry them because of their external beauty??

At least you have the internal beauty which can be fully seen. So you don't have a perfect face. At least that will allow everyone to see your true beauty. That way you can be certain about the reason that someone chooses to marry you.

If you want to talk, feel free to pm me sister.
Reply

united
11-07-2006, 10:55 PM
Sometimes we look at a particular fault and forget all the good things.
Look at all the things Allah has blessed you with and then look at people around you who are not as fortunate as you.
" Look towards those who rank below you, so that you may get used of being thankful, and do not look at those who rank above you lest you should despise the favours of Allah swt upon you ".
And everything doesnt seem so bad after all.
Reply

DigitalStorm82
11-07-2006, 11:17 PM
Sis... I only see it as one way...

Allah has saved you from someone who would have taken advantage of your looks and mistreated you as a wife. Inshallah, the right person will come along soon and he will see pass the scar and acknowledge that you're still beautiful and with great character as well as deen.

Just be patient... don't lose your trust in Allah... He knows what is best for us... keep steady in your duahs and Inshallah everything will be ok :)

W'salaamz
Reply

duskiness
11-07-2006, 11:25 PM
Beauty is a strange thing. And i'm so sure it doesn't come with perfect face or body!
sometimes I couldn't find beauty in a person until she/he smiled. Sometimes it's a look that person gave me.
But today i'm sure that beauty is not perfect. it's something different.
Maybe ask your best friend to point out what she likes in your apparency?
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
11-07-2006, 11:29 PM
Originally Posted by IsaAbdullah
Assalamu aleykum, :offended:

Am so sorry, I feel like crying, you know sister, there are some brothers who, now you have to trust me, am not saying this as a lie to make you feel better, but there are brothers who will find you beautiful, beauty is not something that everyone will agree on, one person might find someone beautiful while the other does not. What is the assessment of beauty.

You do have the majority of people who take that to be beautiful u have to be this and that and hieght is this and lips like that and so on, but that beauty fades, that beauty can go as quick as it came, rather look at those who judge beauty with wisdom sister.

What is it that makes a lady who has stretch marks from giving birth beautiful in the eyes of the wise husband?

What is it that makes people with severe burns beautiful in the eyes of the ones they love?

You see, I personally hold the view, that beauty is a reflection in my eyes of what is withing, Wallahi, there is nothing more beautiful then a Muslimah on her deen, following the way of the Prophet and companions, peace be upon him, nothing more beautiful, that is why sometimes brothers find themselves thinking, SubhanAllah taht sister is beautiful, and then you think, wait, she is wearing niqab how can i say she's beautiful, it is only because of the way she carries herself, the way she walks in humilty, the way she impliments the sunnah and so forth..

There is nothing more beautiful than a servant of Allah who is upon the truth and is submitted to Him truly.

I know you might think, 'yea right, it wont help when I show him my scar' sister, if a person is shallow enough to leave you because of a scar then khalas leave that person no problem, he knows his limiations, but be sure, the one that embraces you even if you have a scar even if you are obese even if you have disabilities, that brother, inshaAllah will love you because of you as a person, because of your beauty that reflects from deep inside the beauty that will only grow instead of fade with time as you become wise.

You dont want nor need a foolish man,

I hope you believe me, at least that you believe that I think I am speaking the truth, cos I really do see it like this.

:)
MashAllah bro, so nicely put. I agree wit u :)
Take his advice sis :)

Originally Posted by *noor
:sl:

Sister anonymous please listen to what I want to say. Some of us have flawless looks and some of us don't. So what?? It seems to me that the people with the not so attractive looks are luckier in a way. That way you know that the man who married you did not marry you for your looks. If you were very attractive and had a flawless face, someone may have married you mainly for that. You said that your sisters and your cousins are "beautiful" and got married one after the other. So how do you know their husbands didn't choose to marry them because of their external beauty??

At least you have the internal beauty which can be fully seen. So you don't have a perfect face. At least that will allow everyone to see your true beauty. That way you can be certain about the reason that someone chooses to marry you.

If you want to talk, feel free to pm me sister.
so right! lol
Reply

Abu Ibraheem
11-07-2006, 11:32 PM
Salaam

Hey AG, there are plenty of new converts looking for marriage. You want to get married for the sake of Allah? In my view, most of them are the most suitable people for marriage because many superficial barriers are not present within them.

wasalaams

And i reckon that everybody should give Isa Abdullah lots of rep for the sincere, on point naseehah. Seriously that was heartfelt.

Digital storms words shone through strong aswell. Sis you have alot going for you. No worries, Allah is just, keep patience.
Reply

GARY
11-08-2006, 12:41 AM
Often a person feels that a certain part of their appearance is much worse than others think. We tend to be harder on ourselves than other people are. I have not seen the scar on your face, but I believe it is quite possible that it is not as bad as you think. It just really bothers you because it is on your face. By coincidence I know a woman who was also scarred in an accident. She was really bothered by the scar, I still think that she looks great. She's beautiful.
Reply

Firdaus
11-08-2006, 02:13 AM
:sl:
problem by our sister
Sister, by your problem we all can see that your a true and pure person who has wished to share one of her most hardest story with us. Frankly it's not that easy. What i wanna you to know is that, always trust Allah and have confidence and hope in Him. For He will never disappoint nor discourage you unless you do haram stuff, which mashaa Allah YOU DON'T.!

So cheer up and continue to live in the true path, in the path whom Allah has blessed and not of those who has deserved his anger.

I will always remember you in my swalaat and will pray that insha Allah you get your MR Right!! Ameen!!
Reply

Woodrow
11-08-2006, 02:47 AM
The difficulties with being young. Physical beauty is a great gift and those who have it need to be appreciative of it. Sadly many people who have physical beauty fail to use it in a pleasing manner. Physical beauty will often turn out to be simply hideous ugliness turned inside out.

Young people often fail to recognise what beauty is and see a temporary shell as their ideal. I know that at the moment you are experiencing much pain. But, please be patient and know that what you are now simply the begining of the true beauty you are developing into. Not only in Jannah, but also on this earth. This trial is giving you great patience in learning how to deal with the short comings of others. You are in the process of nuturing a beauty that will surpase that of your peers. Do not look upon this as a trial, it is a gift that will allow you to grow into a person of beauty and not as a dispensable commodity. Patience is the key, it will not be much longer and the beauty you now nuture will last long after the beauty of your friends fades.
Reply

syilla
11-08-2006, 03:01 AM
One night the mushrikun blocked off the roads leading to the House of al-Arqam where the Prophet gathered his companions regularly to instruct them in the teachings of Islam. Barakah had some urgent information from Khadijah which had to be conveyed to the Prophet. She risked her life trying to reach the House of al-Arqam. When she arrived and conveyed the message to the Prophet, he smiled and said to her:

"You are blessed, Umm Ayman. Surely you have a place in Paradise." When Umm Ayman left, the Prophet looked at his companions and asked: "Should one of you desire to marry a woman from the people of Paradise, let him marry Umm Ayman."

Ali the companions remained silent and did not utter a word. Umm Ayman was neither beautiful nor attractive. She was by now about fifty years old and looked rather frail. Zayd ibn al-Harithah however came forward and said:

"Messenger of Allah, I shall marry Umm Ayman. By Allah, she is better than women who have grace and beauty."

Zayd and Umm Ayman were married and were blessed with a son whom they named Usamah. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, loved Usamah as his own son. Often he played with him, kissed him and fed him with his own hands. The Muslims would say: "He is the beloved son of the beloved." From an early age Usamah distinguished himself in the service of lslam, and was later given weighty responsibilities by the Prophet.

When the Prophet migrated to Yathrib, henceforth to be known as al-Madinah, he left Umm Ayman behind in Makkah to look after certain special affairs in his household. Eventually she migrated to Madinah on her own. She made the long and difficult journey through the desert and mountainous terrain on foot. The heat was killing and sandstorms obscured the way but she persisted, borne along by her deep love and attachment for Muhammad, may God bless him and grant him peace. When she reached Madinah, her feet were sore and swollen and her face was covered with sand and dust.

"Ya Umm Ayman! Ya Ummi! (O Umm Ayman! O my mother!) Indeed for you is a place in Paradise!" exclaimed the Prophet when he saw her. He wiped her face and eyes, massaged her feet and rubbed her shoulders with his kind and gentle hands.

At Madinah, Umm Ayman played her full part in the affairs of the Muslims. At Uhud she distributed water to the thirsty and tended the wounded. She accompanied the Prophet on some expeditions, to Khaybar and Hunayn for example.

Her son Ayman, a devoted companion of the Prophet was martyred at Hunayn in the eighth year after the Hijrah. Barakah's husband, Zayd, was killed at the Battle of Mutah in Syria after a lifetime of distinguished service to the Prophet and Islam. Barakah at this time was about seventy years old and spent much of her time at home. The Prophet, accompanied by Abu Bakr and Umar often visited her and asked: "Ya Ummi! Are you well?" and she would reply: "I am well, O Messenger of Allah so long as Islam is."

After the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, had died, Barakah would often be found with tears in her eyes. She was once asked, "Why are you crying?" and she replied: "By Allah, I knew that the Messenger of Allah would die but I cry now because the revelation from on high has come to an end for us."

Barakah was unique in that she was the only one who was so close to the Prophet throughout his life from birth till death. Her life was one of selfless service in the Prophet's household. She remained deeply devoted to the person of the noble, gentle and caring Prophet. Above all, her devotion to the religion of Islam was strong and unshakable. She died during the caliphate of Uthman. Her roots were unknown but her place in Paradise was assured.
http://www.islamicboard.com/biograph...5-barakah.html

i'm sorry...if i can't help you much....but i hope this story makes you feel better....
Reply

Snowflake
11-08-2006, 09:47 AM
Salam dear anonymous sis,

I can't give you better advice than the brothers & sisters already have mashaAllah (especially Br IsaAbdullah).

But as I'm a bit abnormal lol, I can give you some tips to reduce the appearence of the scar inshaAllah. I hope the advice given has helped you psychologically, but I'm sure in your anguish you are seeking a practical solution too.

There are a few things you can do to minimise the appearence of the scar. In fact you can make it totally invisable.

http://www.bio-oil.info/homepage.php

If the scar is raised, you can use Bio Oil. After a short time you will notice an improvement in the scar tissue. Of course the scar will still be visible. But it'll be smoother and flatter. So it needs to be camouflaged.

The British Red Cross provide a wonderful teaching service for people with disfiguring skin problems. You can get makeup to match your skin tone and it's totally water-proof.

This is their website address:http://www.redcross.org.uk/localservice.asp?id=1224

I saw a picture of a woman who had a port wine birth mark that spread across half her face. It was like someone had painted her face red. As you can imagine she was really self-conscience and hated being stared at. But after using the camouflage makeup, her scar became totally invisable. She said it was only slightly visible under very bright lights. But even then someone would only notice it if they were looking for it. :)

Despite all the brilliant advice, I know the scar is a daily reminder for you, which you'd rather not see. I am sure using these products will be great help for you. But please don't think this is the answer to all your problems. You won't be able to use it all the time as the water-proof properties of the makeup will affect your wudhu. I am sure you are beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. And please don't believe all men go for looks. A beautiful heart will see your beauty exactly where it lies. And that is inside of you. May Allah prove this true. Ameen.

:wub: *hugz*
:w:
Reply

north_malaysian
11-08-2006, 09:58 AM
I think 'cosmetic surgery' is allowed for people involved in accident. But still need someone with authorities on this issue.
Reply

Umar001
11-08-2006, 10:31 AM
Assalamu Aleykum,

I see people writing about internal and external beauty as if they feel they are two seperate things, anyhow, I personally don't feel that they are. I just wanted to clear that up for the record, in case I wasn't clear before.

I think that the illusion of what some percieve to be external beauty is not actually a very solid thing, for the simple fact that different people attract different people, there have been models who I would think are not 'beautiful' as some may say, and there may have been others who I thought are but others think otherwise, when we look at it from this prospective, this so called beauty is hard to see for alot of people, plus even those who will find that beauty attractive are just as easily put off as soon as a spot or some other blemish appears.

I personallly feel the 'external' beauty is only a reflection, representation, incarnation, and so on of the internal person, sure you might find someone who you don't know attractive but is that the person's beauty? Or your own desires causing you to feel that the person is amazingly beautiful.

anyhow, I hope the support from your brothers sisters and fellow board members has helped in some ways. InshaAllah.
Reply

anonymous
11-08-2006, 11:10 AM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:sl:
i need to let this out i feel really low and i been feeling depressed for some time keeping it will make it worse so i am going to let it out.

A few years ago i was involved in an accident and that left me with a scar across my face is not that bad i wear make up and i try to hide it but is still visable.:(

my cousin, my sisters who are all so beautiful(unlike me) all got married one after the other, my family been trying to find me a brother but well who said looks doesnt count?:rollseyes

i get no attention at all, no proposals simply nothing, and i believe is because this dumb scar:cry:

people say to me `OH dont worry reach Jannah and you will be beautiful then`. I am sorry but this hurts. No woman likes to be called ugly.

i got no self esteem and i am paranoid. I wish nobody went for looks but strictly for personality and deen because i posses both.

So thanks for reading this and i just wanted to let it out.:cry:
:w:
salams sis

May allah heal you ameen.

Trust me there are brothers (a few atleast) who don't put looks as priority. But perhpas it's the bit in red that's being the obstacle between you and a potential proposal...

Sis one piece of advise, especially when it comes to these things, alot of times shaytan will make you think you need to wear makeup n pain urself with it to coverup and attract proposals...

But brothers who put religion as first priority wouldn't go for sis's who go out wearn makeup n not dressed modestly, also even before that, we need to remember that we should strive to please Allah firstly and foremostly :)

If the entire world was to try to make you benefit with something, no one will benefit you with anything except if Allah had written it for you, and if the whoel world tried to prevent you from soemthing, no one can prevent you from it unelss Allah had decreed so.

The pens have been raised and the pages have dried.

All the best, trust me when you seek Allah's pleaseure Allah will make a way out for you :D

Take my word for it!

Allt he best ws wr wb.
Reply

LUVAR
11-08-2006, 03:10 PM
subhanAllah sis if someone rejects you just for your looks he's no good for you anyway. if he was pious he wouldn't do that
Reply

S_87
11-08-2006, 03:23 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester

i get no attention at all, no proposals simply nothing, and i believe is because this dumb scar:cry:

:w: [/B]
:sl:

sister you believe its because of the scar but that is your thinking and im sure that wouldnt be true. many many many women are unhappy with thier bodies and faces and spend thousands looking for a face theyll be happy with. why? because they think they dont look good. but when you see these people are they ugly? no of course not!
a prime example are celebs. we hear this celeb has a eating disorder she thinks shes ugly that one thinks shes fat. and when we see pictures of them do they look ugly or fat? no. but what is their problem? they think they are and that in itself can destroy a person.

dont cover the scar with loads of make up-its part of who you are, be proud of it inshaAllah and may Allah bless you with a husband who loves you for who you are!
Reply

anonymous
11-08-2006, 06:56 PM
Note to reader: NOT original poster

Sis I can't really say more than what the brothers and sisters have already said but I will leave you with a couple of words Insh'Allah:

1) If your possible spouse can't see you for your true beauty then I'm sorry to say that he's not the one for you. Acceptance of who you are, your deen, your character should be the key features to be looked at by anyone that's in a state of sanity! Also remember that Allah has made for everyone a partner, so don't despair; Allah's your guide and what better guide to have? Subhan'Allah!

2) Build your self-esteem and courage, if you keep asuming that everyone thinks your ugly and no good then soon enough your going to start believing it deep down. Just remember the best quality that Muhammad (saw) told the Muslims to look at when choosing a spouse is the deen and you say you got it? then what more can your future husband want? The only thing that will help you excel in life is the attainment of Islamic knowledge so sister continue striving and remember that the realy beauty lies within! Dont degrade yourself thinking your any less than the second person or third person just because of a scar. In the Eyes of Allah, The All-Mighty, your far better than any girl who's pride of beauty overcomes her.

3) Remember those who are less fortunate than ourselves. That's actually a very hard task to acomplish as it requires the utmost empathy but reflect and change. You say you use makeup to cover your scar? theres people in dunya with their whole face disfigured and whole face burnt/scarred, imagine there position :(

4) Have faith in Allah. There's nothing more to add to that statement but the fact of the matter is that Allah is testing your Iman, May you succeed and return to Allah in humbleness.

Allah knows best

May Allah make your ways easy for you and grant your a pious partner Ameen
:w:
Reply

Ismahaan
11-09-2006, 07:28 PM
True beauty comes from within sister. I think that the shaitan is trying to occupy your mind with superficial ideals. Concentrate on being beautiful inside and I'm sure you will begin to see your external beauty.
Reply

bint_muhammed
11-09-2006, 08:46 PM
i was quite sad when i read this, because i've got a scar, and my brother ask me to get plastic surgery, however why spend so much on it, it doesnt bother me. i mean its not across my face but near my eyebrow however i just think there are so many people across the world in worse circumastances. e.g. people with out legs, arm, abnormality to the face etc. i mean the above you should take note of, so many bothers dont even look at beauty (or the 'common' beauty) just at who you are! i mean thats really deep!lol. take care i'm sure you'll be fine!
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AnonymousPoster
11-09-2006, 08:59 PM
:sl:
I was in tears I am so glad i could let it out here. :cry: <Happy tears.
It is all about the beauty inside but being young well maybe I didnt come across mature brothers, You will all be in my Dua and may Allah swt reward you all.:w:
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limitless
11-09-2006, 09:10 PM
:sl:

I guess I am a bit too late, but better late than never.

Sister, you should be thankful that it is just a scar, nothing else. You have a healthy body. Unlike other beautiful sister, they probably don't have a healthy body as you, they are not good muslim sisters. Eventually, they're beauty will fade away as they get into their early thirties. You have a healthy body, great personality, and your faith in Islam is stronger than those beautiful sisters. Your beauty is within the traits I stated.

(note: The following sentence is just a hypothetically not an intended intention or action)

If I were in the position of marriage, and didn't have this marriage phobia, I would rather select you as a life time partner, wife, a pious spouse because you have the knowledge in Islam that I don't, you have a great personality I don't, and you are healthy.

Be proud of yourself, if you hate yourself, in sense you are displeasing Allah because Allah created you and gave you that scar for a reason. You will inshallah find a pious brother, have faith in Allah, never doubt him. I'm speaking from experience.

Sorry if my hypothetically sentence violated the forum's rule. it had no bad intention

:w:
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anonymous
11-10-2006, 03:04 PM
sister, you are destined for someone, and i think u shudnt wear make up to cover your scar when seeing proposals as u r tryng 2 b sum1 else if u do this, be hu u r; a pious mu'minah.
May Allah grant you a pious partner. Ameen Please remember me in your pious duaas.
Reply

julie sarri
11-10-2006, 03:25 PM
:sl: sister befor i became muslim i was always shy at school and dident fit in (dident want to drink or do drugs) one girl told me i was so ugly that i should hide my face all the time i took it to heart.so i grew my hair very long and from that point i always had my hair in my face covering it as much as was posible without fulling over cos i couldent see.my teachers were always saying pull your hair out of your face and my mum would grab at it and try and pull it back but i would just pull it back down apart from haveing learning difficulties at school and being bullied i dident think i would meet any one who would marry me but at 17 i met a muslim brother who asked my sister if he could come to our house he had seen me with my family shopping he came and afther we had been together about a year we planed to get married.mum thought he wanted papers but we got married the very frist thing he did when we were married was cut my hair him self and told me there is nothink wrong with how i look and that if he saw me with hair in my face again he would cut even more off.well that was it i dident want to lose any more hair so i always keep it back infront of him and family cos i wear the hijab now but dont give up there are good brothers out there that would love you for you and not looks i have been married 11 years now and have been threw a lot but he always stands with me even afther ill health
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youngsister
11-10-2006, 09:27 PM
:sl: Excellent advices Masha Allah :)
Julie sooo cute may Allah swt bless us all with such husband:) :w:
Reply

syilla
11-15-2006, 01:18 AM
:sl:

oohh sis julie....your story make me cry.

May Allah filled you with happiness.
Reply

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