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muslimaprincess
11-10-2006, 11:42 AM
I don't know if anyne on this forum can relate to my situation but Im hoping someone will understand, and have some guiding words for me so here goes....
During my years of Islamic studies (which I did abroad) everthing was normal. I had so so many good friends whom I could trust with my life, I was also very popular amoung them and very very confident in myself. Hijaab was never a problem while I was a student but soon my studies ended and I returned home to my old muslim mates who had kept in touch with me, and to my surprise they had all changed, and Im like :?
(well I guess they would say the same for me too due to the way I would practise my deen and the veil).:giggling:
At first I couldnt figure out why they would act so weird around me so I just did'nt bother much.:uhwhat
BUT now 10 years later they are all married and have kids and ofcourse they'v all matured I try to relate to them in normal girlie things like going out, having a girls night in, sharing gossip or shopping etc, but somehow I just can't relate to them no more! I mean sitting at a parent and toddler group with them and listerning to them laugh and talk about other people and taking the mickal out of litrelly everyone on this planet just makes my blood boil!!! :grumbling :grumbling :grumbling :offended: I tell them off then I go all depressed and all quite so they misunderstand and they think I'm being a complete dag!!!:grumbling
And when it comes to normal conversations I can't comment on films they'v watched or makeup they'v tried or books and magazines they'v read so basically I am the dag.:giggling: I try to get them invovled in halal fun like games and nasheeds and contests in who could read the Quraan with the least mistakes.
Its not like Iv not tried or told them that what they do is wrong!
And not just with my friends, in many other ways too I have found myself seperated from the world around me.
Now I walk alone, I know that no company is better that bad company and im not saying my friends are all bad people their not!!! Its just that I think Im sinfull as it is and I don't need to increase the entries in my book of bad deeds by llisterning or having to participate in what they would think as normal daily life.
And to top it all in the little town that I live in nearly everyone hates the ninja that moved in:offended: . Everyday life has become very awkward with people staring, giving u dog looks and cursing and thinking of you as a terrorist:offended: so I guess there is no wonder that I am no longer miss "confident" or miss "puteveryone in there places" cause my self esteem has been damaged.
But there is one thing I have learnt from all this which is....I may look like aloner but when I walk alone I walk with Allah (SWT) I feel he's presence, and when I talk I talk to Allah (SWT) not just with my hands raised but as I would with my friends. And when I have a really bad day of insults from the kuffar I tell Allah (SWT) about it. When I sleep I sleep in he's name and when I wake I wake in he's name....................
YOU KNOW BEING SO ALONE COULD NOT GET ANY BETTER!!!!giggling: :giggling: :giggling:
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habiibti
11-10-2006, 12:56 PM
Assalamu aleikum

I never thought there was someone like me.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.i myself never had a close friend with gals simply coz i could never sit and talk abt things they talked abt.
honestly u might feel weird at some point but i learnt to accept i am different.
mine came to da extent that i will go to my room wen ma sis`s friends came over just to avoid their gossiping.otherwise it would drive me nuts.

and dear,ur right,there is no point of having a friendship if it only brings u more sins.
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AnonymousPoster
11-10-2006, 01:41 PM
:sl:

i guess, i dont have something different to say. Even though i am living in a muslim country, and my family is muslim too, but i feel i am so different
from them. And when i tell them this is what Allah has ordered in the Quran, and this is what the hadeeth says, and ppl label me as a ******, and when it comes to practice religion, what you get to listen is things like "Dont try to show off islam", "You consider you are a better muslim", "You are a hypocrite from inside".And you hear such kind of statements not from kuffars, but from muslims,can you imagine how it feels?????
I cannot relate myself to any member in my family. Its like to them i am an alien. "You have a different islam" and "what you are doing is not islam", these comments make me :cry:
But well, atleast i have Allah with me. I am trying to obey Him, and if this is something that makes ppl displeased, then i am least bothered about them.

But there is one thing I have learnt from all this which is....I may look like aloner but when I walk alone I walk with Allah (SWT) I feel he's presence, and when I talk I talk to Allah (SWT) not just with my hands raised but as I would with my friends. And when I have a really bad day of insults from the kuffar I tell Allah (SWT) about it. When I sleep I sleep in he's name and when I wake I wake in he's name....................
mashaAllah, barakAllaho feek ukhti

There is a Hadith which says:
"islam began as something stange, and will go back to being something strange. So Tooba(a tree in jannah) for the strangers"

http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...-stranger.html

:sl:
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Snowflake
11-11-2006, 01:22 AM
hehe mashaAllah@ u sis.. I agree no company is better than bad company!

It's good being alone provided we use that time positively. For instance I want to be a better person.. and I believe this can only be achieved by increasing my knowledge of deen and really believing in it.

I tell ya... a while back I wanted to turn into some kind of female rambo and break my husband's legs (lol).. but someone reminded me that Allah is the best of judges and gave me references from the Quran and hadith about what I was thinking - cuz boyyy did I want to make him pay! But I had to admit they were right. If I hadn't been enlightend, I probably never would've forgiven him. That's why it's so important that we use our time to increase our knowledge of deen. The Truth softens our heart and heals us. Only then we can become better people.

But really sis, mashaAllah you've got your priorities right. Anyone aware of Allah's presence is never alone. Alone are those who are in a crowd and have forgotten Allah. And subhanAllah, you even talk to Allah. That's so sweet mashaAllah :wub: I can really relate to you.

But............. don't let your being different knock your confidence. When you feel like that, PAUSE........ Then think who is striving to please Allah more.. you or them. Then who will Allah be pleased with more? You or them? InshaAllah YOU! Then that's all that matters. Doesn't that make you feel confident? :happy:

Aww anywayz sis, it was nice reading ur post and I'm talking in my sleep almost lol. So I'm sorry if it was gobbledygook. I'm sleepy but not sleepy..if you know what I mean lol. *yawnnnn* Goodnighttt :uhwhat

love u, take care sis

:w:
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Malaikah
11-11-2006, 01:54 AM
:sl:

I guess i can relate to that too- but i have great friends alhamdulilah :D so it isnt that bad for me.

Maybe you could try meeting new people who share your views?
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
11-11-2006, 02:49 AM
wow sis thats so me. I have friends even from elementary school, but not like soo close with them. I only talk to them up until in school and go home with my business. I never actually had Muslim friends. Even tho there were 2 of em next to my locker in high school! we still werent friends, because i was more reserved and close to my deen, though i was not hijabi then. They were like the typical kids at school wit popularity. talking to everyone but not really being friends. thats been me, still am. Well now i just met 2 in college, so theres a change. Dont worry about it sis, its better than u think. Whats better than having Allah(swt) with u in every waking moment :)
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youngsister
11-11-2006, 11:07 AM
:sl: Aww sis like everyone said No company is better than bad company!
I wish I was as strong as you I do have certain friends that sin around me but I never have the guts to really do something about it.:(

You think you are all alone but you have Allah swt on your side:)
Thats better than having 10000000000 of friends.

The other i was walking home from college and this car stopped and a man started shouting at me and started yelling horrible things, is funny how all happens simply because they cant see your hair they see us as a threat somehow, just have faith in Allah swt he will reward you for all the trouble you going though Isha Allah!:w:
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Malaikah
11-11-2006, 11:24 AM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
"Dont try to show off islam", "You consider you are a better muslim", "You are a hypocrite from inside".
:sl:

:eek: How dare they! :mad: Thats just way too mean!:offended: I hate it when people act that way. Just be strong sis, dont let their terrible words get to you! :)
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youngsister
11-11-2006, 03:05 PM
:sl: OmG I cant believe they say such thing well.. in this world there are people who are Haters So JuSt Brush them Off:) :w:
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muslimaprincess
11-12-2006, 12:59 AM
Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis

Aww anywayz sis, it was nice reading ur post and I'm talking in my sleep almost lol. So I'm sorry if it was gobbledygook. I'm sleepy but not sleepy..if you know what I mean lol. *yawnnnn* Goodnighttt :uhwhat

love u, take care sis

:w:
He he he did'nt know I was that boring:giggling: :giggling:
sweeeeeet dreams........shaba khair
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muslimaprincess
11-12-2006, 01:03 AM
Originally Posted by youngsister


The other i was walking home from college and this car stopped and a man started shouting at me and started yelling horrible things, is funny how all happens simply because they cant see your hair they see us as a threat somehow, just have faith in Allah swt he will reward you for all the trouble you going though Isha Allah!:w:

Dear sis when I come across stuff like this it scares the **** outta me.......I mean I actually hv sleepless nites and stuff ..........so really mashallah you got more courage than wot I cud muster.
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AnonymousPoster
11-12-2006, 01:24 AM
Originally Posted by muslimaprincess
Dear sis when I come across stuff like this it scares the **** outta me.......I mean I actually hv sleepless nites and stuff ..........so really mashallah you got more courage than wot I cud muster.
lol sis don't let them scare you like that, when the Muslim realises he is getting insulted for the sake of Allah he should feel gratified :)

those people who scream and shout are just coconut brains.. don't let em terrorize u over a few words inshalah :)
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Umar001
11-12-2006, 11:00 AM
Assalamu Aleykum,

Just thought I'd even it up, seems only sisters replyin lol

But yea, brothers, well I feel like that too, there are some brothers who I end up wondering why am spending time with them if the only thing I get is sin from it.

In the Etiquettes of a Student of Knowledge, Yasir Qadhi brings an interesting hadeeth I think it is,

The comparison of a good friend to a perfume wearer or seller or something, and a bad friend to that of a blacksmith or the like.

The good friends, even if they don't directly tell you to do good, will deter you, because let's say if you say something wrong, they will corect you, but the bad friends, even if they dont tell you to do bad, they wouldnt correct you if you do or say something bad.

Anyhow, I feel sorry for their kids, and personally I really dislike that type of Muslim, being a revert it makes me sick to see people who take islam for granted!

Though they still are my brothers and sisters, and I love them and I pray Allah guides me and them on the straight path and makes me and them love Islaam.

But remember sis, you keep tight and hold the rope of Allah and in Jannah you'll have muslims like yourself to be with, inshaAllah.
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lyesh
11-12-2006, 11:55 AM
Salam,
I hope all us alike ppl cud live in together with our own country..... It wud b sooo peaceful insha Allah!
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Snowflake
11-12-2006, 01:58 PM
Salam Muslimaprinces,

I commend you for refraining from making friends who are bad for your deen. However I hope you don't close the doors on friendship all together. There may be other sisters in the same situation as you who are in need of a friend.

Surely, you can't be the only sis, in your area who is in this situation. Why not keep a look out? Alas, good company is better for your deen and duniya.
I have only two friends (apart from my sisters on the internet) and I can truly say there've been times when I've needed them and they haven't let me down. It'd be sad if you missed out on some wonderful friendships as good friends are a blessing from Allah. You could end up helping someone else in their deen and that would be a reward in itself. Keep looking! :)

wa'alaikum aslam.
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LUVAR
11-12-2006, 03:03 PM
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah glad tidings to the stangers!!!:) ;D :happy: I know how you feel i used to be the same way until i met a lovely sister who is also so into the deen now we encourage each other to do good and do the sunnah diet,sleep etc. and people around us think we crazy. But we dont care alhamdulillah. So stand your ground and make dua to Allah to grant you a good believing friend or make your heart happy and tranquil with your situation.:)
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learningislam
11-12-2006, 04:04 PM
:salamext:

Originally Posted by LUVAR
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah glad tidings to the stangers!!!:) ;D :happy: I know how you feel i used to be the same way until i met a lovely sister who is also so into the deen now we encourage each other to do good and do the sunnah diet,sleep etc. and people around us think we crazy. But we dont care alhamdulillah. So stand your ground and make dua to Allah to grant you a good believing friend or make your heart happy and tranquil with your situation.:)
sis Luvar....MashaAllah......U R so Lucky....
Ameen to the dua.... Hope we all have have such friends..inshaAllah

Originally Posted by IsaAbdullah
Anyhow, I feel sorry for their kids, and personally I really dislike that type of Muslim, being a revert it makes me sick to see people who take islam for granted!
Exactly....its depresses me though. Being a born muslim.....i feel, there are very few muslims who donot take islam for granted....

To the original poster.......mashaAllah some sisters posted good advice...
What i would like to add is.....

Life is so short, much shorter than the blink of an eye. So why should I be so stupid to please the people around me by being disobedient to my Lord.
No I won’t …..InshaAllah .I won’t be disobedient to my Lord…….InshaAllah.
As for friends...., mostly we see those who are friends are quite similar in many aspects.As it is said... "birds of a feather flock together". Religious ppl are friends with religious ones and vice versa.... but what i want to say, even if u make a non-practising muslim sis ur friend, this might be a chance for u to bring her closer to islam....and for dawah.

Believe me, i have practically seen that. Three of my class mates....one of them is mashaAllah....as i think...A practising Muslimah...and now both of her friends.....are so much similar to her...they started wearing the veil....and jilbab just like her...and they share so much in common...mashaAllah....

As Prophet Muhammad (sallallaho alaihay wasallam) said: "A person inevitably follows the faith of one's friends; therefore be careful in choosing friends."
(Abu Dawood and Tirmidhi)


May Allah swt help u and the whole ummah....ameen

:wasalamex
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muslimah_here
11-17-2006, 02:39 PM
:sl:
i can understand u sis, caz for me to start wearing hijaab was a big change for my family and didnt have much support from my own parents but they have accepted it now ALLHUMDOLILAH, what helps is that my elder sister started wearing hijaab so she wa able to calm thing down for me, but I have ben through quiet emotional phases and hurtful words from family but I dont blame them theyv been brought up to give more imp to culture than deen but slowly they r realising ALLHUMDOLILAH. About friends yes sum I had to distance myslef from caz they weres till too much into bollywood culture n i ddint wana go bak to being the same, one firend who doesnt wear hijaab but she respect my decsion to wear it and one friend who wears hijaab but shes married and lives in a diferent country.

I think what helped me was praying to ALLAH, and watching islam channel was quiet helpful too i must say. I feel wrong friends can really misguide u, so its gud to have those who have interest in deen or at least respect what ur trying to do. I myslef dont have right now any firends around me who I could sit n talk about deen but at least I got internet acess to read on. Just dont worry too much about having friends have faith in ALLAH n INSHALLAH ul be strong enough to face the world with hijaab.

take care
AH
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YusufNoor
11-20-2006, 12:45 AM
***eek, a major sister thread***

anyway, wearing a hijaab is dawah! may Allah (SWT) reward you for it!

just thought you might like to know...

i drive people to doctor visits, MANY of the people i take are Muslim. in the region that i live, MANY, MANY Muslims are Somali. Somali Muslimah take great pride in their Hijaabs (and Niqabs for some). i started thinking about these when it struck me (oh, non-Muslim at the time, btw), that the forms of these clothes were EXACTLY what you see any woman, minus entertainer, in ANY depiction of woman 2000 years ago.

it kind of awed me in a way. i remember in Ramadan of '05, one woman came to the desk where i was "hanging", she was wearing a hijaab of the most spectacular thread i have ever seen. it was beautiful! (and of course, i strictly referring to the thread and NOT ANY part of the sister.)

at first it made no sense to me, "why would these women be walking around like this?" but also, "wouldn't ANY G-d fearing woman do the same?"

i went out of my way to talk to a great many "hijaab sporting" woman. what remarkable people!

i also remember seeing little girls on the playground in hijaabs. at first i would think "THAT'S gotta be rough!" but then, i would see the expression on those little girls faces...they looked happier than any kids i've ever seen, and their faces, smiles and eyes really seemed to sparkle!

while Islam never seemed like a possibillity to me, i read a book on Islam & the Qur'an just so that my manners would be appropriate when with these women.

long story short (cuz it's time for Maghrib), 3 days after finishing the book i took Shahada (sp?)

so, your efforts might accomplish MORE than you know!
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