im so lonely.........

[Pretty_najm]

Asalamu Alaikum

I have this friend...or rather HAD a friend. We were the best of friends all we did was hang out, we were like attached at the hip. But then a guy comes into the picture, her stepbrother. Her step-brother begins to like me and asked for my hand in marriage and at this time she had a crush on him. First she's all 'its, ok you can be with him' then next she's like 'im mad at you, we're not friends anymore, you took something i wanted...'

So she just threw me away, not caring what i think or anything. She hasnt talked to me since August (i think). I tried to talk with her online, but she wont answer. I even email her a bunch of stuff, nothing happened. I saw her at Eid, I gave salam an dshe gave it back as if she didnt care. And i never saw or heard from her again.:cry:

Brothers and sisters, what am I supposed to do in this situation? I miss her dearly, but everytime i try something she just flocks away. Im lonely, she was the only person i could tell anything and everything to. We were a pair, unseperable....but I guess Allah shows that no one is inseperable, everything must come to end....

I know you all will tell me to have patience and make istikhara...is there anything else you would recommend doing?

JazakAllah Khayrun

Also keep me in your duas, I pray to get married in 2007 inshaAllah, JazakAllah

[snakelegs]

it probably won't help your pain, but this "friend" was not really a friend - you just thought she was.
i think you need to find another real friend.
i lost a close friend to cancer 10 years ago - and it still hurts.

[Kittygyal]

Assalmualikum warhmathullahi warbarakathuhu

well Ukthi firstly you have done a bad thing by actually even seeing your onw "pals" brother which your not allowed to see an opposite gender in thy first place, your might be angry because after all it's her "step brother" if that was mine i will be angry at you. in Islam we should not mingle with opposite gender at all! you should not talk to her step brother && "lower your Gaze" in future && just ask for forgivness from Allah su3bhanwatallah && apologise to your pal if not then leave it don't pest her.

do me a favour remember me in your Du3'ah, shukran!

[Pretty_najm]

Assalmualikum warhmathullahi warbarakathuhu

well Ukthi firstly you have done a bad thing by actually even seeing your onw "pals" brother which your not allowed to see an opposite gender in thy first place, your might be angry because after all it's her "step brother" if that was mine i will be angry at you. in Islam we should not mingle with opposite gender at all! you should not talk to her step brother && "lower your Gaze" in future && just ask for forgivness from Allah su3bhanwatallah && apologise to your pal if not then leave it don't pest her.

do me a favour remember me in your Du3'ah, shukran!

i wasnt seeing him...we "met" at my highschool graduation. he went his way, i went mine...but see she was mad with me, because she liked him and instead of him asking to marry her, he asked me. I hope you all understand this and i pray im explaining this sufficently

but like snakelegs said she probably wasnt my reall friend, which yes does kinda hurt to acknowledge....any more advice is welcomed:cry:

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[Kittygyal]

i wasnt seeing him...we "met" at my highschool graduation. he went his way, i went mine...but see she was mad with me, because she liked him and instead of him asking to marry her, he asked me. I hope you all understand this and i pray im explaining this sufficently

but like snakelegs said she probably wasnt my reall friend, which yes does kinda hurt to acknowledge....any more advice is welcomed:cry:

Assalmualikum warhmathullahi warbarakathuhu

well in that case Ukthi she may not have been your real friend you can't trust anyone on this planet.

do me a favour remember me in your Du3'ah, shukran!

[Malaikah]

:sl:

I so sorry to hear this sister thats so sad.

I was just wondering is it halal for her to marry her step-brother? :?

[The Ruler]

:sl:

sis you are getting married anyway...and you will have a friend that will be greater than her insha'allah...someone who not only will share your happiness and sadness...but everything :)

:w:

[chacha_jalebi]

wait wait wait lol have i got this terribly wrong or did she have a crush on her step brother?:hmm: :confused: :X

if she wanna be like that, then its her fault innit, she isnt a true friend, because true friends would always want the best for the ova mateys :D, so jus cosh this guy liked you, its not your fault, and she got jealous, and jealousy is a sin in islam!

sister dont feel lonely, remem no matter what you always have Allah (swt) and he is our bestest friend, he knows everythin bout us, he knows whats best for us, and he can give us anythin :p see thats a heavy friend:D lol but ya get me, inshallah pray to Allah (swt) and he will inshallah sort ya out, also get to know more people like socialise more, and inshallah ya will have much more goood friends inshallah :D:D:D

[Goku]

Salam sis, first of all, is it hala for a sister to marry her step brother? I dont think it is, but im not too sure.

Secondly you have to tell her that she cannot "force" her step brother to marry her instead of you. Marriage is to be consential between both male and female, if one is "forced" the marriage is not very likely to work out. Try to make her understand her step brother's feelings.

Maybe the step brother feels it is very wrong to marry his step-sister, have they lived in the same house as brother and sister?

May Allah SWT help you Sis, Ameen.

[-Shakirah-]

'step- brother' so did they at least share at least one same parent? Or was he adopted?

[no1_outbider]

Salam!!

Im terribly sorry to hear this yess i know how its like when you loose your close mate,all you want is to get back wit them.But allah says in the quran somewhere in surah baqrah not sure the ayaat number or the ayaat word to word but ill summ it up!!

You think that something is good for you but it really is bad for you and you think that something is bad for you but it really is for you!!

Sister you could be in the same situation maybe allah SWT wants to give you something better in return inshallah!!

And sister it is not halaal or allowed for you friend to marry her step brother! If they share a parrent deffinanty not and if they dont share a parrent but the woman i.e. her mum has breast fed the step-brother then its absoloutley not allowed for her to get married to him !!

So there you go!!! Try explaining that to her!!

Besides that i'll inshallah will remeber you in my Duas !! :)

[united]

step probably means that she doesnt share a parent.
this sister seems hurt. give her time and inshallah she'll be fine.
in the meantime send her an email explaining your actions and tell her that we only get whats written for us. shes going to have to get over it. youre going to be part of her family.

[Umar001]

Assaalamu Aleykum Wa Rhametulah,

I know I seem to say it in most threads in here, but this is reflective of why Muslims ain't in a good position around the world.

I gave salam an dshe gave it back as if she didnt care

Giving salam is such an important thing, yet people don't do it, all over their own desires, :( when people cant control little things like a crush how can we as an Ummah control world affairs.

Totally upsetting.

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

I can understand how it feels like, when you trust someone (friend) and she
just leaves you in the middle of you life. Actually that friend was not really a
real friend. Do you want to know something serious?! Your friend did that to
you because first of all, she was never a good and best friend to you. Don't take my words badly, because we all are here to try to give maximum of our knowledge (advice) on problems that face our brothers and sisters, including me sometimes. If we analyse the context about the problem.....we get an impression that the "best friend" whom our sister has shared everything.......was infact jealous of her:rant: .......because it's not possible that your brother loves your best friend and ......suddenly^o) .....u just stop talking to her......:-\ :-\

I dunno know if sisters n brothers will really agree wid me..but i really feels that her best friend is really jealous of her.........Niway sister......I'll remember you in my swalaat insha allah.....ameen...Wat else can i say other than take patience.....u'll see one day.......she will ask for pardon......MARK MY WORDS!!!.....this will happen sister.........becoz u r innocent in this matter.......stay brave n continue to have hope n confidence in Allah.......surely u will have its fruits on Akhira itself.....

:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

ooops i mean u'l have its fruits in DUNIYA itself.............

[Musaafirah]

:sl:
Well... look at the bright side of things, at least YOU'RE the one getting married to the guy right? I don't get how she had a crush on her own step bro..that's just confuzzling..:confused:
Well, Insha'allah you'll get an even better and truer friend right?!
:w: