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AnonymousPoster
12-09-2006, 08:18 PM
When i wasn't religious i made some nice friends and we were all on the same wavelength. Now that i am religious and it is such a big part of me that now i don't want to be going cinema, listening to music, hanging about with boys, etc, etc. They find it hard to adjust to the new me and i have tried talking to them about it. All i get is negative advice back like "your not ready we know you and you can't do it yet" and many things like that.

They are nice girls and they have always been there for me. Its just now i feel as if im in a different place now. They don't understand me now for example when i say no going to them to the cinema they get really upset and think they have done something wrong. I explain to them its not them and that we still can be friends just do other things together. Now it is like they are isolating me and i don't feel part of that group anymore. I am now beginning to think its time for me to move on.

Whats the best Islamic way to do this? I don't want to cut them off as friends as they always come to me for advice. Im just confused right now i don't want to hurt them but don't want to go back to the person i was when they first met me.

Thanks
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afriend
12-09-2006, 08:25 PM
:sl:

Yeah I know what you mean. Can't play along, can't reject either....Always get into a muddle.

Ask Allah for help.

Let's wait for better advice Insha'Allah..I could do with some advice on this.

Jazakallah to you for opening this thread.
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Kittygyal
12-09-2006, 09:44 PM
Assalmualikum,
all i can say Ukthi is never give up don't sacrafice yourself for them remember this life is enternal, think about Akhirah if these people aleays think negative about you, what are they goign to do when they stand towards there lord?! just carry on how you are inshallah.
Ma'assalam
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FBI
12-09-2006, 09:48 PM
:sl:

Remember on the day of judgment only those who were friends for the sake of Allah will remain friends, everyone else will blame their friends for the bad deeds, the company you keep effects you, I suggest u stay in contact with them but don't socialise with them much cause if they're doing sins it's gonna rub of on you, find some muslimahs who are on the deen.
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Snowflake
12-09-2006, 10:15 PM
Salam,
I agree with FBI. Explain to your friends that knowing what you do now has made you fear Allah and you simply want to refrain from doing the things that He has forbidden us to do. Make it clear to them that the only way to Jannah is in pleasing Allah and as we're all going to die one day, no one will escape questioning on Judgement Day. A true friend will understand that.

But like you said, don't cut ties with them altogether. Tell them you'll be there for them like you always have been, except in what's haram. Also make friends who are following deen and invite your old friend to functions and gatherings. Perhaps they will learn something and Allah knows, maybe through you someone else might see the light. Keep them in your duaas inshaAllah.

wa'salam.
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Musaafirah
12-09-2006, 10:21 PM
:sl:
I probably won't be helping much, but isn't it in a Hadith, that "A person will be raised on the day of Judgement in the company of those whom they love" ?
That's what I keep telling myself anyhow.. :-\
:w:
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Abdul Fattah
12-10-2006, 02:36 AM
I know exactly what you mean my whole enviroment is like this. friends family. Hang in there sister and cut back contact if it becomes to problematic. you don't have to dump them or split with a fight, but you don't have to hang out with 'm 24-7. Or you could just keep giving them dawah all the time. That way either they come around or they will start avoiding you.
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Angelzz
12-10-2006, 02:52 AM
Salaam Sis, I'm having the same problem myself but in my case they know they might lead me astray and are happy to leave me behind so im not tempted to do wrong. At first i understood but couldnt help feeling alone and not wanted - but after much dua im realising the only way to Allah is the path we are on and i read a hadith somewhere saying that only one in 1000 ppl in this dunya will go to Jannah...... and im working on being that one in 1000 inshaAllah.

Just keep your iman strong and pray that ur friends will see the right path through ur example InshaAllah Remember u now know better than they do - so its upon us who know the truth to be an example and show thru our actions and words that we are not the same person anymore.
InshaAllah they wake up and see this and appreciate it or they will move away from you.

Which is what im going thru right now - but i spend my time in remembrance of Allah and it brings peace in my heart and uplifts me to know IM NEVER ALONE ALLAH IS WITH ME

SubhanAllah

Allah will give me better friends who are on the Deen INshAllah.
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snakelegs
12-10-2006, 04:11 AM
when a person makes a major life change in direction, as you have done, one of the side effects is that your old friends usually drop away as you have less and less to share. gradually, they are replaced by new ones. it is sort of a natural process - something that just happens.
yes, i think you will have to move on eventually. in the mean time, share with them what you can and work on making new friends.
good luck.
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Malaikah
12-10-2006, 06:27 AM
:sl:

Are your friends Muslim?
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Skillganon
12-10-2006, 06:55 AM
Well I can understand your situation.

I have similar situation with my freind although it is a less of a problem in my case, I try to keep best of relation with them and give them dawah, lol they inlcude muslims but not exactly practicing. Sometime they listen to me, but it feels like it is going straight through them and not they do not ponder over it or realise the gravity of it.

Sometime when you are with them they might put you in an awkard situation, or to go with them on something that is not reccomended in your deen.

You have to decide for yourself what kind of connection you wan't to have with them? Limit what you do with them, or if it is to much of an ordeal with you one might even consider to cut the relationship althogether and make new one's with practicing sis, which I will recommend.
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The Ruler
12-10-2006, 12:34 PM
:sl:

get new friends :)...dont desert the ones you have already...talk to them often, keep in contact with them...if they are muslims, tell them about their duty in islam...that free-mixing is not allowed, music and the rest is haram...and make them understand why you are like this now...if they dont, try harder :)

:w:
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DaNgErOuS MiNdS
12-10-2006, 09:42 PM
Aslaamalaikum.

I have found myself in the same situation but we have to struggle for the sake of Allah swt and make sacrifices for Islam.

The problem we have today is that we tend to build Islam around our lives rather our lives around Islam and because of this we dont get full benefits of Islam.
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England
12-10-2006, 09:53 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
When i wasn't religious i made some nice friends and we were all on the same wavelength. Now that i am religious and it is such a big part of me that now i don't want to be going cinema, listening to music, hanging about with boys, etc, etc. They find it hard to adjust to the new me and i have tried talking to them about it. All i get is negative advice back like "your not ready we know you and you can't do it yet" and many things like that.

They are nice girls and they have always been there for me. Its just now i feel as if im in a different place now. They don't understand me now for example when i say no going to them to the cinema they get really upset and think they have done something wrong. I explain to them its not them and that we still can be friends just do other things together. Now it is like they are isolating me and i don't feel part of that group anymore. I am now beginning to think its time for me to move on.

Whats the best Islamic way to do this? I don't want to cut them off as friends as they always come to me for advice. Im just confused right now i don't want to hurt them but don't want to go back to the person i was when they first met me.

Thanks
Muslims live a totally different lifestyle to non-muslim. Your non-muslim friends will always no doubt go out on the pull for guys.
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AvarAllahNoor
12-11-2006, 06:40 AM
Are you not allowed to watch any films at the cinema? (comedy) if so, then go with them once in awhile so they'll feel you're integrating with them more.
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north_malaysian
12-11-2006, 06:44 AM
maybe you should rent any decent movies and watch it at home with your friends..... if they're truelly your friends.... they'll try to understand you better.
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Dhulqarnaeen
12-12-2006, 06:05 AM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
When i wasn't religious i made some nice friends and we were all on the same wavelength. Now that i am religious and it is such a big part of me that now i don't want to be going cinema, listening to music, hanging about with boys, etc, etc. They find it hard to adjust to the new me and i have tried talking to them about it. All i get is negative advice back like "your not ready we know you and you can't do it yet" and many things like that.

They are nice girls and they have always been there for me. Its just now i feel as if im in a different place now. They don't understand me now for example when i say no going to them to the cinema they get really upset and think they have done something wrong. I explain to them its not them and that we still can be friends just do other things together. Now it is like they are isolating me and i don't feel part of that group anymore. I am now beginning to think its time for me to move on.

Whats the best Islamic way to do this? I don't want to cut them off as friends as they always come to me for advice. Im just confused right now i don't want to hurt them but don't want to go back to the person i was when they first met me.

Thanks
:sl:
Quran said (or in hadith, I forget :rollseyes ) "If people united to give danger to you, but Allah want the opposite then they wont succeed, and IF people united to give goodness to you but Allah decide opposite, they will not succeed".
So...we as a muslim ordered to obey Allah and his messenger right, let your friends act like they do now, which is the most important? Allahs love or their love? And they gave you was-was syaithon with telling you ""your not ready we know you and you can't do it yet", this is a really bad words, and its just said by bad friends. Cause we really dont know when we're going to die right?But we realize that theyre maybe dont understand ISlam in the right way right, and still egnorant. So they need explanation. Choose the right time, the best is talk to them alone, 4 eyes. Thats more effective. All you have to think is "HOW to make them follow YOU" and dont let your self follow them.
You have to say syukr...a lot of syukr cause Allah has choose you to follow Islam, and not them. And you should pray Allah give them hidayah too.
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Dhulqarnaeen
12-12-2006, 06:10 AM
:sl:
We may not delay to be a better muslim, cause life is so short. And die is near.
I have this story, its my own uncle. He was told by his brother to do salah, cause he so lazy to do salah. And then easily he just replied "you just do it, and I will accompany you later", and another reason. And then suddenly he dead. And then his bro had a dream, and in the dream his bro looked he is very tired, and he said said "youre right, I should do salah when you told me".
:rollseyes :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: allahumma inni audhubika min adhabil qobri, amin.
When malaaikatul maut comes, then we dont have time to ask for forgiveness, so be prepared since we sill health and young. Collect more salihah amaal, so we can join our beloved prophet in heaven.
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