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anonymous
12-11-2006, 01:43 AM
:sl:

I come from a family where there is much conflict between members and it saddens me to see blood relatives act this way. It has come to a point where things have gone over the limit and it seems like it's not going to get any better.

The conflict is mainly between my father and his brothers (my uncles). They pretty much hate him for god knows what reason. Despite all my father has done, i.e. be a father figure to them, they look past that and insulted him, called him names, and have threatened to kill him.

To me they seem like complicated people and I don't plan to maintain a relationship with them. I am young now, but with the way things are going it seems to me that in the future I would be involved in the conflict.

So therefore, I've decided to sever my relationship with my uncles and their families in order to avoid future conflict. I cannot forgive them for what they've done to my father (and in some cases to my mother), I fail to understand their reasons for behaving the way they did.

I know that in Islam you shouldn't sever family relations. I was wondering if my doing so with my uncles counts as the same thing. Frankly, I just don't know how to deal with this, I can't seem to look at them as family anymore.

:w:
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Snowflake
12-11-2006, 11:29 PM
Salam,

I know it's not permissable to sever ties with kith and kin but I think that's meant in the sense that you totally forget they exist. For instance relatives have rights over each other e.g poor relatives have rights to zakah. So by cutting ties you can deny a relative his/her rights and then you end up answerable for it.

However, given you're situation, it's best to avoid them as much as possible, except when Islamic obligations require. That way you won't be guilty of cutting ties altogether. And keep making duaa to Allah to help your situation.

Fi aman Allah.
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Dhulqarnaeen
12-12-2006, 05:43 AM
Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl:

I come from a family where there is much conflict between members and it saddens me to see blood relatives act this way. It has come to a point where things have gone over the limit and it seems like it's not going to get any better.

The conflict is mainly between my father and his brothers (my uncles). They pretty much hate him for god knows what reason. Despite all my father has done, i.e. be a father figure to them, they look past that and insulted him, called him names, and have threatened to kill him.

To me they seem like complicated people and I don't plan to maintain a relationship with them. I am young now, but with the way things are going it seems to me that in the future I would be involved in the conflict.

So therefore, I've decided to sever my relationship with my uncles and their families in order to avoid future conflict. I cannot forgive them for what they've done to my father (and in some cases to my mother), I fail to understand their reasons for behaving the way they did.

I know that in Islam you shouldn't sever family relations. I was wondering if my doing so with my uncles counts as the same thing. Frankly, I just don't know how to deal with this, I can't seem to look at them as family anymore.

:w:
:sl:
The best way is in Islam. Study more bro, and learn more about akhlaq and show them that you doing anything with akhlaq Islam. And dont sever your relationship with them, thats a sin. But you should do somekinda ishlah (peace), come to their house and bring some presents, and then send them regard from your father (alhtough your father didnt send it...its a lie tahts permitted) and tell them good things that your father said about them. And also send regard from them to your father and said the same thing. And pray to Allah and tawakal. Youre younger than them, but sometimes lot of eyes of older can be opened cause of the actions of the younger U know, insha Allah
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