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12-18-2006, 02:05 PM
Beauty in Morocco: In the Eyes of Religious Men.
INTRODUCTION
² Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder ² as the saying goes. Despite the fact that people differ in the way they judge beauty, they all agree that beauty plays an important part in their lives. As little attention has been given to “religious men” to give their opinions about beauty, I will conduct this research to explore all areas that make up true beauty from the perspective of a sample of ² religious men ². In this study a religious man is defined as a person whose heart is ²clean and healthy ². It is cleansed from any passion that defies God’s commands; moreover, his utterances, thoughts and actions are obedient to God. Therefore, it is improper to assume that a good Muslim is limited to physical appearance such as growing beard and letting the clothes hang down before the ankle .There are many hadiths by the prophet may peace be upon him that support this meaning. Al Bukhari narrated that Abu Hurayra said that some people asked the prophet “Who is the most honourable among people. He replied the most honourable among people with Allah is the one who has the most taqwa.” Given this hadith, one should mention that righteousness does not lie in the performance of ritual prayers, but it extends to include good behavior, ethics, fear of God with all actions. As people are judged by their actions, I will limit my sample to preachers, ²Imams² and students at ²Dar Al Hassania² to avoid any ambiguity that the definition of ²religious men² inevitably generates.
It is worthy to note that the study which I have conducted started on Tuesday, May 9th ,2006. I interviewed two ²Imams ², six preachers in Moroccan Arabic. I also asked twenty students at ²Dar Al Hassania² to fill up the questionnaire that I had written in standard Arabic. As far as the plan of this text is concerned, I have sequenced the sections in what I consider to be an effective order. The first part discusses the idea of beauty, the criteria that “religious men” follow to choose their wives and their judgment about the outer beauty. The second section deals which the inner beauty and the characteristics of beautiful women. Moreover, it reveals that the way “religious men” measure beauty invert the image that the West holds. As there is much to say about beauty in Morocco, I have invited researchers to conduct an extra study on this subject.
Beauty is disengaged from land
Physical appearance
The sense of beauty is a common right to every one every where. No matter what is your gender, social position, race and religion you are pleased to hear that you are a beautiful woman or a handsome man. Your happiness can not be described in words nor can it be measured by any scale. Beauty which is disengaged from any locality is ingrained in people’s mind. They become obsessed with it to the extent that women spend much time in sprucing up and cleaning themselves before they go out. They may also cross the continent to get the latest face cream or buy the fashionable trendy clothes. Mass media teach women how to choose their own looks, what they should dress, in Addition, media also promote a particular image of beauty. The villain is always portrayed as ugly while the protagonist is depicted as attractive. Our assessment of ourselves is based not only on magazines and television, but also on looking at the universal correlation of beauty. There is an agreement among cultures that skin color on the spectrum of light to dark, facial symmetry, clear large ayes are determinant of beauty. However, each society is unique in their special way. In Three Faces of Beauty, Sussan Ossman uses the concept of heaviness and lightness. Lightness is associated with wealth whereas heaviness is linked to domestic space. In western societies men consider light women as wealthy while in some parts of Africa heavy women are linked to abundance.
Beauty is perceived from a religious perspective
Beauty is also interpreted within a religious context. This has a significant effect on how women are judged by religious men. Islam does not scorn or debase physical beauty nor does it relegate inner beauty to secondary position. A husband can be proud that his wife is righteous, but will enjoy the fact that she is beautiful. In the research that I conducted with students at ²Dar Al Hassania², preachers , and prayer leaders or « Imams », I asked my informants to answer the following questions. Would you marry a beautiful and pious woman ? A beautiful woman who has lack of religion or a pious woman of average physical attractiveness ? more than 70% of the informants preferred a beautiful woman who is pious while 28% wanted to get married with a pious woman of average physical attractiveness. But why? Many students at² Dar Hassania² said that the prophet may peace be upon him urges the believers to marry a pious woman. He said, “Succeed with the one with religion, may your hands be in dust[1]”. The were also interesting and valuable replies. A teacher at ²Dar Al Hassania² mentioned that “ Beauty which is one of the prerequisite of perfection makes a marital life more stable ². Another informant said that “Man is inclined to beauty.” However, what type of physical beauty do my informants refer to? Is it associated with the face, the body or the shape. In other words, is beauty universally and culturally conditioned? One has to examine these questions and answer them for the sake of clarity.
How does religious men perceive beauty
A preacher informed me while I was interviewing him that a blind woman is beautiful. It did not occur to me that I would hear such an answer that is meaningful and has deep insight. His argument shows that there is no reliable truth in measuring physical beauty. Moreover, each one has his own taste and preference. This is endorsed by a student at ²Dar Al Hassania² who pointed out that physical beauty differs from one person to another. Moreover, beauty should not be isolated from other values such as the degree of devoutness and familial environment. Another student believes that beautiful women are sought after ; however, there is another kind of beauty. A man has to establish a legal relationship with a woman to figure it out.
There are also two interesting statements that I would like to add. The first one is that physical beauty is associated with ‘hijab’ or veil. The woman who is beautiful is the one who wears veil and respectable clothes. Allah says in the holy Quran, “and say to the believing women that they restrain their looks and guard their private parts, and that they display not their beauty or their embellishment except that which is apparent thereof, and that they draw their head-coverings over their bosoms, and that they display not their beauty or their embellishment save to their husbands”, (El Noor, #31). The second student simply said, “The beautiful woman is the one who is cheerful and elegant.”
The reason behind getting married with a religious woman
It is interesting to note that one of the reasons that urges religious men not to marry women who are neglectful of religion is what the preacher said to me after we had finished Friday prayer. I prefer to marry a pious woman. In the holy Quran Allah says, “And indeed, a slave woman who believes is better than (idolatress) even though she pleases you. (AL Baqara, 2.221). The preacher then remembered a hadith that was narrated by Said Al Khudri. The prophet said: “Beware in marriage of Khadraa Al Dimam? What is Khadraa Al Diman they asked? A beautiful woman who hails from a bad family. The prophet said. There is another hadith that urges men to marry religious women. The prophet may peace be upon him mentioned that “The best woman (wife) is the one whom, when you look at her she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, when you are not in her presence she safeguards herself and your belonging [2]».
The are some verses in the holy Quran that call Muslim men to marry religious women. Take the example of surah An Nur in which God says: “ And women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity ” (Surah An-Nur:26).
The features of physical beauty
Before I introduce the type of questions that deal with beauty traits, the interesting Point I would like to make is that Islam encourages the Muslim man to look at a woman before finalizing marriage. This is supported by the Sunnah or the prophet’s tradition. The prophet may peace and blessings be upon him allowed a man to look at the woman with whom he intended to marry provided that he had good intention. Let us take a look at this hadith. A man who had got engaged to a woman of the Ansar came to the prophet who asked him. Have you seen her? He said: No, so, the prophet ordered him to go and see her “this is reported by Nisai and Ibn Majah. Given this hadith, one has to bear in mind that good looks are important to establish any legal relationship. Indeed, a preacher had revealed to me before I made the questionnaire that in Morocco there are many attractive and beautiful women but said he wished that what women displayed out side would be worn only for their husbands at home. He went on to say that he likes the white skin woman who looks like an Italian and the dark skin woman who resembles a Brazilian. He also mentioned that a beautiful woman is measured by her prominent lips, lustrous hair and large eyes. It is worthy to note that the respondents I interviewed like big eyes. This indicates that clear eyes are considered to be a high degree of attractiveness. The waist to hip ratio is also a significant factor in measuring female beauty as scientists have discovered.
The findings of my study concerning physical beauty
Despite the fact that my informants might not be happy about the type of questions that I asked, they were really cooperative. There were only a few who were reluctant to identify their personal information or give their opinions. The questions focused on women’s height, skin color and body shape. For example, I asked if they preferred a thin or large woman or the one with average build. A woman with white skin, dark or other. A woman who is tall, short or of medium height. The result showed that the informants preferred a woman with average build to slim one, a woman with white skin to a woman with dark skin . They also like a woman with medium height.
None of them opted for short women. In other words, more than 75% of my informants chose a woman with white skin and with average female build whereas more than 10% said that they liked dark and slim women. The reason behind choosing women with average body build springs from the Muslims belief that Islam is the religion of the middle. This is confirmed by a preacher who said, “Ummatan Wasatan.”That is God has made this nation a moderate one. Muslims have to follow the middle path, the path that has no extremes or excesses.
It is interesting to note that a few informants refused to answer close questions that deal with body traits. One said that these questions are personal. Indeed, neither are the respondents preoccupied with body size nor do they conform to the ideal of body height. They have instead narrowed the definition of beauty. According to a student at² Dar Al Hassania² , “These features can not be depicted by religious men who do place little importance on “the nakedness” of a modern woman”.
Inner beauty and fine qualities
Does a woman need to wear ornaments to be beautiful or become attractive? It is true if a woman who has a white skin looks good but this is not a criterion for a person to evaluate her beauty since her conduct and behavior gives her glamour. As the saying goes, ²Not all what glitters is gold ². Physical beauty does not last but the good deeds remain. There are many inner qualities that make a person beautiful such as generosity and modesty. A generous ugly man is admired by people. His friends meet him with a cheerful face and his neighbours greet him. The mean who is handsome is distant from people whom he knows. Neither do they like him nor do they feel ease et his presence. There are people who may look physically ugly but when you come in contact with them you feel that you are attracted to them. They have kindeness on their tongue. They give you advice even though you do not ask them. They support you when your relatives abandon you. Indeed, a handsome person who lacks these qualities will be certainly like an empty shell.
Examples of inner beauty
The persons whose wife, mother, and sister possess good inner qualities are the luckiest one earth. Therefore, they should be proud of them. A mother whose concern is the welfare of her family and children is a beautiful woman. Her beauty lies in her care, compassion and affection. When her child is ill, she stays up to comfort him. If her husband is hungry, she spares him the need to eat outside. Her time and money are spent not only on beauty products and friends, but on educating their children decency and entertaining her family. Praise to be Allah that there are a lot of mothers in Morocco who enjoy this quality. Thus, one has not only to kiss their hands but inscribe their names in a golden ink as well. A student at ²Dar Al Hassania² defines a Beautiful woman as the one who preserves her chastity . As we speak about beauty in Morocco , there are women who support their poor families. Despite they are in need , they retain their modesty and chastity. They bear patience and remain firm no matter what the degree of their suffering.
Islam does not scorn superficial beauty
It is disappointing that there are beautiful women who do not have good qualities. They will be more attractive if they cleanse their heart of animosity, selfishness and individuality. Their freedom will not be from ² heaviness” but in their engagement in productive activities. Their large eyes will be more fascinating if they have good insight.
²Their white skin will not be superficial if they have a c1ean heart ², as one quoted in the questionnaire. It is clear that 100 % of the respondents believe that true beauty lies in inner beauty. The beautiful woman is the one who absorbs the teachings of Islam and puts them into practice.
Although Imams, preachers and students agree that a religious woman is beautiful, they vary in their description of her inner qualities from ethics and shyness, to knowledge and intelligence. Despite the fact that Islam does not scorn superficial beauty, it evaluates inner beauty . God does not look at our faces but at our actions. Each one of us is not rewarded by his or her appearance but by his or her deeds whether they are good or bad. Concealment of women's adornment is also seen as an aspect of beauty . Islam urges a woman to make her self beautiful for her husband. The evidence comes from Aicha the mother of believers. Bakrah bint 'Uqbah came to Aicha ( May Allah be pleased with her ) and asked her about henna. 'A 'ishah said, "It comes from a good tree and pure water. " She asked her about removing body hair, and she said, "If you have a husband, and you could remove your eyes and replace them with something better, then do il[3]."
The Characteristics of a beautiful woman
Among the characteristics of a beautiful woman is not only her obedience to her creator but also in her useful knowledge. A woman has to be aware of her right towards God and in her relationship with her family, friends and community. Knowledge will allow her to distinguish between good and bad. Moreover, it will broaden her mind and elevate her status. The more she learns, the modest she becomes . Useful education will also help her to bring up her children according to Islamic teaching , express her opinion and help her husband to solve the problems they daily confront. This discussion of the intellectual quality of a woman indicates that she is beautiful if not the most beautiful one that a husband may like. By virtue of her understanding of Islamic teaching, the beautiful woman can not cheat nor tell lies. Her fear of God and her willingness to seek his pleasure urges her be shy and not engage in any illicit behaviour. When she is in a public place, she lowers her gaze. There is no man who dares speak to her .The beautiful woman prefers to do something useful rather than wasting her time in useless things. At night or during the day she devotes some time to read the holy Quran , celebrate the remembrance of God , as an informant said .
One should be optimistic and be happy that this world is still worthy of living since there are also women whose concern is to serve their religion and devote their time of the uplifting of their community in various spheres. This idea is supported by a university teacher and at the same time a preacher. He said, "The beautiful woman is the one who is involved in preaching activities" Teachers are the best people on earth . They play an essential role in the society they live in . The energy that they invest make them so beautiful . Each time that they go to the grocery store, the library, to school, or to any other public place, people greet them warmly. The preacher woman is loved by young and old men or women . They invite her , pray for her. On the other hand , a woman who plays no role in society can attract men physically but she may not receive the same degree of love and admiration.
The beautiful woman brings joy and peace
A woman does not need to wear tight clothes or to put make up to capture one's heart. She does not have to be skinny or slim to be attractive. A beautiful woman is the one whose soul is purified by religion. Neither does she harm others by foul words nor does she spread malicious gossip. She only fills the heart of those around her with joy and put smile on their lips . A beautiful woman is the one who is righteous as the prophet said[4], «This world is nothing but temporary conveniences and the greatest joy in that world is a righteous woman”.
Religion calls for kindness conduct, tolerance, shyness and cheerfulness. The attractive woman is the one who possesses these qualities and uses them in her daily life and with her friends, parents, husband and her community. In her home she overlooks her husband 's mistakes and does not remind him of them . This is supported by a preacher who wrote, "Her beauty lies on the one hand in her manners, in showing respect for her husband and on the other hand on endearing her self to him and caring about her family welfare². The best woman is also a good cooks as young ² imam² pointed out. There is an English proverb, which says that the way to an English’s man heart is through his stomach. Now I can say that the nearest way to this religious man’s heart is through cooking a delicious meal.
Beauty is associated with intelligence
Beauty is also associated with intelligence. An attractive woman is the one who is smart. She uses her wit to solve her problems and to achieve her goal. If her husband is angry, she remains silent . When he asks her to do something , she obeys him. When she wants to get something from her husband or her father, she chooses the right moment. The smart woman is the one who gains the sympathy of people. At work she does her work properly and meets her colleagues with a cheerful face. She does not reveal their secrets or mistakes to her employers. In her relationship with people she makes them love her . When some one dies, she comforts the distressed person and lightens his or her misfortune and grief. When there is a wedding or happy occasion, she offers her help. The beautiful woman is not the one who attracts people by her way of walking but by making them admire her. The respondents who answered the questionnaire like the intelligent woman. They are all aware that this quality besides her obedience to God will urge her to choose a pious husband who will help her in matters of goodness or piety. Moreover, getting married with a religious man will spare her the need to go through emotional abuse that comes in the form of threat.
It is interesting to note that my respondents believe that getting married with smart women will bring them joy, peace and harmony.
There is no one who is ugly
The criteria that religious men use to perceive women as beautiful invert the image that the west holds. Ugliness has to be redefined since all people have qualities that make them beautiful. We should not be obsessed with our outer beauty nor be demoralized by the artificial standard of beauty. God has created us in the best stature. Therefore, we do not need to look at the mirror to evaluate ourselves.
Beauty is part of us. It is in our soul, heart, thought, feeling, tongue and hands. A black doctor can save the lives of many by his hands. A short woman may put smiles on the lips of many just by cracking a joke. A fat woman can invent a new device that may help humanity. The point that God has created man in the best form is supported by the holy Quran and the prophet’s tradition. The prophet may peace be upon him teaches Muslims a beautiful supplication which will certainly send tranquility into their heart and provide them with self-satisfaction. In order to experience this true happiness one has to say, O Allah, as you have made my appearance beautiful, likewise make my character beautiful[5].
On the holy Quran, Allah says to mankind: you can see no fault in the creation of Ar-Rahmaan (the Most Merciful Then look again: can you see any rift ? then look-again and yet again, your sight will return to you in a sate of humiliation and worn out. (Qur’an Al-Mulk (67): 3-4).
Tips on how women can attract men
We have seen so far that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder whose choice is conditioned by cultural, religious and social environment. While some cultures perceive thin women as beautiful others see that large ones look good . Religious men do not scorn the universal correlation of beauty but they place much importance on inner beauty . In Western and other societies the quest of beauty has become a major concern for many women who do all in their power to look beautiful. If some one opens up women magazines, he will certainly notice that their contents deal with body image and fashion. Moreover, women magazines also contain tips on how women can attract men. It seems particularly fortunate that there is a beautiful text that Muslim scholars use to support their arguments. Despite the fact it dates back to the preislamic period, it is full of wisdom and dissimilar to the tips one may find in magazines and other sources. Abd al-Malik (Radiyallaahu 'anhaa) said: " When 'Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn 'Amr al-Kindi, as she was made ready to be taken to the groom, her mother, Umamah came into her room to advise her and said: "O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent , then it would have been unnecessary for you , because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise. "O my daughter, if a woman were able to without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them. “O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learnt to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you. “Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you: ‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one's husband pleases Allah. The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume. "The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry. "The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management. "The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you[6].
It should not be possible to conclude this chapter without remembering the perfect women whom God has praised in the holy Quran. These women have been known for their modesty, righteousness and religious qualities. God loves not only Maryam and also the wife Pharaoh , Allah said : "O Maryam! Worship your Lord: prostrate yourself, and bow down (in prayer) with those who bow down"[s.3;v.43]. "And Allah sets forth, as an example to those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh: behold she said: 'O my Lord, build for me, in nearness to Thee, a mansion in the Garden' "[s.66;v.11].
1 should also add that the wives of the prophet may God bless all were best model of modesty, mercy , tolerance, shyness , generosity and other fine qualities. Not only did God praise our mother Khadija, but he ordered Gabriel to convey his regards to her as well. Gabriel said to Muhammad (pbuh): "O Muhammad! Khadija is bringing you a bowl of food; when she comes to you, tell her that her Lord greets her, and convey my greeting, too, to her." When he did so, she said: "Allah is the Peace, and He is the source of all peace, and upon Gabriel be peace." Narrated by Muslim and Bukhari.
Conclusion
This research reveals many ideas and information about beauty in Morocco.
Most informants who are not acculturated spoke in their voice. Their opinions about beauty spring from their strong beliefs in the prophet' s tradition, in the holy Quran and their personal choice . According to them beauty is what is found inside. It is only evil acts and sins that make us ugly . Thus, the human has to improve his inner qualities to become more attractive.
I must my self close this research with an idea or suggestion. As little attention has been given to 'religious men' , 1 would be grateful if other researchers will make an extra research in this field because there is much to say about this subject .
In the end, let us follow the path of the prophet and absorb his teaching so that we will succeed in our lives and we will be the most attractive people.
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