help

[multazima]

assalamou3alaykoum wara7matoullahi wa barakatouh

i really need help. i love a guy who loves me too for now 4 years. we are good muslims and fear Allah. Every year for now 4 years, his family tried to talk to mine but my family totally refuse. My family never asked about the guy, they don't know anything about him but they simply refuse, it's kind of i want it the door is in front of me. something that we totally refuse. i always respected my family and only God knows not a lot of people treat there family as i do with mine. for noe 4 years i leave in sadness, theres not a day that i dont cry ( of course when everyone sleeps because i would have big troubles) my family close the story every year and decides its finish or not and now they think its finished even if its not. to respect them i dont see him often. I never did something 7aram (wal 3iyathou billah). The only thing i want is to leave in peace with him and my family bel 7alal. i love only 7alal and im a good practicing. i dont hear music, i wear 7ijab, the only thing i want in life is living respecting what God ordered to me. I really can't leave without this guy. I tryed many times and i felt i wanted to die. I don't do anything wrong. I just want to get married with the guy i want. My family would like that i get married with someone of my village... and there's no marriage in my house before i get 25 BIG MINIMUM to 30. The truth is everyone who know me can't beleive i love someone. i would'nt get married in my life if i didnt met this guy. Shou el 7al? Rabena i jazeekom bkhayr, is there any du3aa i didnt made that could help. i made istikharaa and i have hope because of the power of my faith to Allah. the only thing i thing is ina Allah ma3a el sabirin. by the way my aunts knows about this story and they don't have problem that i get married with him but my parents dont know that they know because it would make big troubles in my family. 7asbiyallahou ni3mal wakeel. Barakallahoufikom, law fi sheikh 2ader isa3eni...

[Skillganon]

Well, I don't know why your parents are being so stubborn, it is not like they are getting married Aaarrgh! Why do they make their children life difficult in following Islam.
Keep on trying and try to reason with your parents Islamically.
ask a Scholar?

[Skillganon]

Assalamu alaikum sis.

Allah is speaking to every believer when He says: “Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands if it is agreed between them in kindness. This is an admonition for him among you who believes in Allah and the Last Day. That is more virtuous for you, and purer. Allah knows and you know not.” [ Sûrah al-Baqarah : 232]

You can try this link I found it interesting: http://www.islamtoday.net/english/sh...sub_cat_id=709

[multazima]

u cant talk with them to reason them, they beat me many times and told me so much bad words... and they say i dont respect islam because if i did (in their point of view) i would respect 3oqoq el walidayn which is for them, if they tell me something i do it and thats it, even for this kind of thing. it makes me wanna die sometimes.. i dont ask for the moon. ya Rab, i dream everyday that Allah soub7anahou wa ta3ala make my dream come true insha Allah

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[Skillganon]

Sis have you read the article?

What is 3oqoq el walidayn ?

Inshallah it will work out. Be patient.

[multazima]

im reading it, jazakallahou khayran, its very a nice article, d3ili insha Allah khar, ina Allah ma3a el sabirin

[multazima]

3oqouq el walidayn is in arabic, the respect of the parents which is obligatory upon the muslims

[Skillganon]

3oqouq el walidayn is in arabic, the respect of the parents which is obligatory upon the muslims

So just so you have to respect your parents they have to go against the Quran?

Did they give any proper reason for not letting you?

Maybe something about the person you wan't to marry?

[multazima]

they don't know him, they never saw him, they never asked for him... kind of i said no and i dont need anything to say no i say no and thats it

[Malaikah]

:sl:

I so sorry to hear sis, sounds very sad indeed! I dont understand why they reject though? Do they think you are too young?? (How old are you by the way?) And they dont even know anything about him?

Subhanaallah, four years is a long time!

May Allah swt grant you a husband who is best for you. :)

[AnonymousPoster]

assalamou3alaykoum wara7matoullahi wa barakatouh

i really need help. i love a guy who loves me too for now 4 years. we are good muslims and fear Allah. Every year for now 4 years, his family tried to talk to mine but my family totally refuse. My family never asked about the guy, they don't know anything about him but they simply refuse, it's kind of i want it the door is in front of me. something that we totally refuse. i always respected my family and only God knows not a lot of people treat there family as i do with mine. for noe 4 years i leave in sadness, theres not a day that i dont cry ( of course when everyone sleeps because i would have big troubles) my family close the story every year and decides its finish or not and now they think its finished even if its not. to respect them i dont see him often. I never did something 7aram (wal 3iyathou billah). The only thing i want is to leave in peace with him and my family bel 7alal. i love only 7alal and im a good practicing. i dont hear music, i wear 7ijab, the only thing i want in life is living respecting what God ordered to me. I really can't leave without this guy. I tryed many times and i felt i wanted to die. I don't do anything wrong. I just want to get married with the guy i want. My family would like that i get married with someone of my village... and there's no marriage in my house before i get 25 BIG MINIMUM to 30. The truth is everyone who know me can't beleive i love someone. i would'nt get married in my life if i didnt met this guy. Shou el 7al? Rabena i jazeekom bkhayr, is there any du3aa i didnt made that could help. i made istikharaa and i have hope because of the power of my faith to Allah. the only thing i thing is ina Allah ma3a el sabirin. by the way my aunts knows about this story and they don't have problem that i get married with him but my parents dont know that they know because it would make big troubles in my family. 7asbiyallahou ni3mal wakeel. Barakallahoufikom, law fi sheikh 2ader isa3eni...

may allah grant you patience sister.

It is a test from Allah :) try get someone to mediate, perhaps a sheikh or something?

Remind your parents of the responsibility of a wali and the actions that would make him no longer a wali (one of which is '3adhl which seems to be your case).

Make dua and be sure that Allah will accept, as long as you're certain that Allah will accept your dua, it will be accepted, and make alot of istighfaar, because it causes the dua to be accepted.

inshalah you'll be happy at the end!

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl: InshaAllah, everything will work out - have patience.

Wow, never heard this before, is it from hadith? :?

there's a few hadiths about it... "ana '3indi dhanni '3abdee bee" ("i'm what my servant thinks of me..) also... there's this awesome hadith i read ages ago... part of a longer article about dua... check it out inshalah:

5. Trying to hasten the response. Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The du’aa’ of any one of you will be answered so long as he is not impatient and says, ‘I made du’aa’ but it was not answered.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.

6. Making the du’aa’ conditional, such as saying, “O Allaah, forgive me if You will” or “O Allaah, have mercy upon me if You will.” The person who makes du’aa’ has to be resolute in his supplication, striving hard and earnestly repeating his du’aa’. The Prophet

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Let not any one of you say, ‘O Allaah, forgive me if You will, O Allaah, have mercy on me if You will.’ Let him be resolute in the matter, whilst knowing that no one can compel Allaah to do anything.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.

http://islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=51...20accept%20not

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

Sis I really am so sorry about this :( It's really difficult I know......but have you tried bringing forth Islamic proof to your parents so that they know that it is not allowed for them to do so? I myself have been waiting for 3 years for my parents to accept a certain brother, but because of a mistake the brother committed in the past my parents refuse to check him out imsad
But recently I have come across ahadeeth which mention how we must never scorn or discriminate against a person because of sins which they committed. I make Du'a I make istikhaarah......the Brother also does his part in trying to convince my parents. At first my father seemed about to consent but then my mother crushed it completely. For right now I'm just being patient and making loads of Du'a.......Insha'allah I will try to approach them soon and present Daleel to them, They are knowledgeable people, they know that in Islam a person cannot be judged by his past after he has changed for the better, but for some reason they are pretending to be blind to this fact.

I pray for Me and you sister and May Allah give us whats best in the Dunya and Aakhirah Ameen....

[Snowflake]

SubhanAllah, May Allah remove the obstacles from your way sisters. (Anon 1 & 2).

---

Finally, sometimes no matter how hard we strive for something, if Allah chooses to protect us from something that is bad for us (because He knows what we don't )then we will remain helpless. It is also that sometimes, when we plan to do something but obstacles keep coming in our way then it may be that thing is not good for us. Either way, if our desires are not fulfilled we should have sabr and accept it as Allah's will.

wa alaikum aslam.

[Rabiyal]

sister email me at rabiyal@gmail.com