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Far7an
07-03-2007, 06:52 AM
Gossiping

I hope this reaches you in good health and in strong Imaan.

And when we spoke ill of our brother/sister do we think Allah would not hold us accountable? And do we think that Allah would excuse us as though we were exempt from sinning? Let us act like the Muslims we label ourselves as, let us fear our lord and guard against our tongue and the gossip that our hands spread. When we hear something bad about a fellow Muslim, excuse them so that Allah may shower his mercy upon us. Do we not know that time is ticking; the taste of death is closer to lips by the second? So let us act like a Muslim and fear what we say about others. If we can not speak good words then we should remain silent for that is better for our souls.

“Neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful”

[Al-hujurat- 49:12]

This is an important reminder, one that should not be ignored but contemplated and put into action.
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IbnAbdulHakim
07-03-2007, 09:24 AM
jazakAllah khair, yeah its important for sure...
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Pk_#2
07-03-2007, 10:10 AM
AsalamuALaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

jazakAllah

Meaning of ghiba-It has been defined precisely by the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) as, "Your mentioning your brother with something about him that he dislikes [being spoken about]."

Someone asked, "How about if my brother contains that [characteristic which I am mentioning]?"

He replied, "If he possesses that which you mention, then you have [indeed] backbited him. And, if he does not contain that which you say, then you have slandered him." [Muslim in al-Birr, 4/2001, #70; Ahmad in Al-Musnad, 2/230,384]

In the Qur’an Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) says “O you who believe! avoid most of suspicion, for surely suspicion in some cases is a sin, and do not spy nor let some of you backbite others. Does one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? But you abhor it; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, surely Allah is Oft-returning (to mercy), Merciful.” [Al-Hujaraat: 12]

The Prophet (Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) was looking into marrying Safiyyah (Radhi Allahu 'Anhum). Aisha (Radhi Allahu 'Anhum) saw her yet out of natural jealousy really didn't want the Prophet to marry her. So the Prophet asked Aisha about her and Aisha said she was nice and everything was good about her, but then Aisha made a gesture with her hand to show that Safiyyah was short. In response to this the Prophet said just this gesture; if she were to put it into an ocean it would stain the whole ocean. [Sunan Abu Dawud, 41:4857]

When the Prophet ( Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) went on the journey called Israw wal Mahraj he saw some in hellfire with claws poking and clawing at their eyes. When he asked Jibril about these people he was told these were the gossipers and backbiters.

Astaghfirullah!

sowi not hijacking your thread, just making it longer

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Intisar
07-03-2007, 05:10 PM
Salaams brother and sister,

Jzk Khayran for those were very beneficial to me.

W/Salaam
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piXie
12-10-2007, 07:12 PM
Bump!
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------
12-10-2007, 07:47 PM
:salamext:

Yeh but what if ur telling sumone something that there is a lesson in?
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Pk_#2
12-10-2007, 08:07 PM
Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4
:salamext:

Yeh but what if ur telling sumone something that there is a lesson in?
Example?

Which samakah is bumping all the old threads,

WalaykumSalaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
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Kittygyal
12-10-2007, 08:24 PM
Assalamualikum.

Masha'Allaah an excellent reminder indeed.

May Allaah forgive us all and guide us all Amin

Ma'assalama
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~Taalibah~
12-10-2007, 10:12 PM
:sl:
Very true! Its something a lot of us do as a by the way.
Jazakallah for the reminders Bro Frazan and sis Umma W!
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Intisar
12-11-2007, 12:50 AM
:w: You're right bro, and this is a really good reminder for everyone. I must stop myself from backbiting, and must stop my fellow muslimeen from doing the same inshallah. JazakAllah kheyran bro!
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------
06-03-2008, 02:42 PM
Originally Posted by Happy
Example?

Which samakah is bumping all the old threads,

WalaykumSalaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
:salamext:

E.g. If ur telling someone that I knew a person who did this and this, and you are warning them of the consequences that can take place etc. so don't do it.

Is that allowed?
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truemuslim
06-03-2008, 04:15 PM
^ how bout u don't use the names but use it like
"there's this story about this person who did this an that and then bla bla bla" not really backbiting is it?
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adeeb
06-12-2008, 05:37 AM
nice reminder!! good!
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aysenil
06-12-2008, 06:11 AM
jazakAllah hayr.
thx for sharing. and sis Serene if there is something like that, if u want to warn someone, it is allowed i no. but dont no any hadith abt that but read an article b4. Allah knows the best. we must be carreful abt...
was salam
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IbnAbdulHakim
06-12-2008, 09:41 AM
Originally Posted by - Serene -
:salamext:

E.g. If ur telling someone that I knew a person who did this and this, and you are warning them of the consequences that can take place etc. so don't do it.

Is that allowed?
wa alaikum ussalaam wa rahmatullaah

there is never a need to reveal identities unless it is public ie like when bush does something in public or any other celebrity or public figure. A private person who does something which is only seen by a few should be kept hidden.

If i knew someone who has done a wrong i will simply say, I know a person who has fallen into this mistake without naming


im sure thats what you meant anyway sis right? inshaAllaah its khair


Assalamu Alaikum
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Snowflake
06-12-2008, 09:53 AM
asalam alaikum wr wb,

^jzakAllah khair bro.. I'm sure that's what Serene sis meant, and it was something I was questioning as well.

Also, I'm in a miserable situation. A girl in my neighbourhood and whom I walk to school with everyday, keeps telling me how her family are ill-treating her. She announces something so suddenly that I dont have the chance to stop her. Occasionally, I put my hand up and stay please don't tell me, but that makes her feel worse as in not having anyone to talk to. I've forever been telling her to change her own ways (practice islam) and her family might leave her alone. But at times she is do distressed and crying that I feel bad for not listening to her about what her mother,sister, father, has said to her.

My question is that is her complaining about her fam. the same as backbiting and am I wrong to listen to her when she is crying her eyes out?


wa alaikum asalam wr wb.
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IbnAbdulHakim
06-12-2008, 10:06 AM
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaah

^ yeah im pretty sure listening to someone backbiting is wrong, you can tell her to mention problems without naming (although its pretty obvious now). Its not hard to ask for advice without pinpointing.

we know eating the flesh of our brothers/sisters is one of the major sins ukhtee, inshaAllaah take it more seriously and try to make her understand.

i KNOW its a TALL order to help a non-practising sister to understand, but bi-idhnillah with lots of dua' and heart softeners she should be ok. You should gently remind her the rewards of patience... talk to her about other stuff get her mind off things.

make her smile and realise that there are worser problems out there and lifes just a passing..



listen what i do when i hear people backbiting is ALWAYS inform them that the talking will only make their insides bitter, their hearts harder and their situation worser! i mean sis you can FEEL it inside that this talking is just rotting your insides! you can feel it!! when i hear it i literally say "please stop!!! i can feel my heart turning black!"...so if you tell the sister to be patient, to speak of good things and make dua' about the bad then she will feel beautiful inside and Allaah will inshaAllaah make things better.


honestly this advise has worked for me on numerous occasions and i hope it works for you.



Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaah
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Snowflake
06-12-2008, 04:00 PM
asalam alaikum wr wb,

Jazak Allah khair bro, nice post mashaAllah. You're right, I shouldn't listen at all. It's just so hard when she comes knocking on my door crying her eyes out, esp. as her family accuse her of adultry :(.

may Allah help her and us. Ameen.
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IbnAbdulHakim
06-12-2008, 04:03 PM
Ameen... thats sad. may Allaah grant her sakeena.


i hope she can ask for ur advice in a more discreet way... i dunno sis im not the smartest at this typa advice (i thought you was) but i always feel better if i jus pray....



allahu a'lam



inshaAllaah things get better for her



Assalamu Alaikum
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Re.TiReD
06-12-2008, 04:21 PM
AssalamuAlaykum

Awww subhanAllah thats sad. But you know, as the saying goes... when you point one finger at another, three are pointing back at you. Maybe you should turn it around and ask WHY its like that, what has she done to get herself in that situation and how she can rectify her mistakes rather than talking about what or who caused them?

WassalamuAlaykum
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Snowflake
06-12-2008, 05:27 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
Ameen... thats sad. may Allaah grant her sakeena.

i hope she can ask for ur advice in a more discreet way... i dunno sis im not the smartest at this typa advice (i thought you was) but i always feel better if i jus pray....
allahu a'lam
inshaAllaah things get better for her
Assalamu Alaikum
asalam alaikum wr wb,
lol *embarrassed laugh*
I can't advise myself, it's like when a doctor is ill he/she goes to another doctor for treatment lol. And really, I'm not saying this to be kind but you do give good advice. Sometimes, I spend ages writing up a long post, only to see you posting a few sentences after me that are far more effective! MashaAllah! And I'm like uh, why can't I make my point in a few sentences lol!

Anyway, ameen to ur duaa inshaAllah.

Originally Posted by ...54M4K4H...
AssalamuAlaykum

Awww subhanAllah thats sad. But you know, as the saying goes... when you point one finger at another, three are pointing back at you. Maybe you should turn it around and ask WHY its like that, what has she done to get herself in that situation and how she can rectify her mistakes rather than talking about what or who caused them?

WassalamuAlaykum
Allah knows best what the real story is, but I have never had to ask as she's left no chance not to tell me her version. I stay neutral, even though her mother has at times cursed me and my mother for giving her the 'wrong' advice. One particular one being that her sisters call her names as she's darker than they are and my mom had said that we shouldn't make fun of a person's looks since Allah created them. That according to her mum was the wrong thing to say, as she took it as my mum defending the sister in question.

So, with that in mind it really is pointless asking what her faults are, since her mother is not in the right herself. It's difficult giving her any advice, as no matter how hard she tries her mother seems to want to torture her. She even came to my house and started telling me shameful stuff about her daughter. Then went back and told her daughter that she has 'slandered' her and now no one will like her. I appreciate that both women need to sort themselves out. So it isn't as simple as just advising the girl. And I'm not sure whether I should approach the mother as she is one irrational lady I've ever met.

Anyway, pointless discussing this. Better if I just keep praying for them inshaAllah. :hmm:

wa alaikum asalam wr wb.
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~ Sabr ~
05-07-2012, 02:51 PM
:bump:
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