My baby died

[Bint Abdusattar]

:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:

[skhalid]

Allah loves us, as long as we follow the rite path in life!!!

[Hijrah]

inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon

[Woodrow]

:sl: Ukthi,

I know the pain you must be feeling. But, have faith that your little one is now in Jannah with Allah(swt) and is awaiting the day to pull you up to Jannah.

Your pain of today will be replaced with a joy many times greater than what you can imagine and your little one will be helping pull you to Jannah.

May Allah(swt) ease your pain and give both you and your baby rewards greater than your need or desire.

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[rubiesand]

:w: I'm so sorry sister :cry:
Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon.
I pray you will be reunited in a state of bliss with your baby in the akhirah one day ameen. I can't imagine what you are going through. My duas for you.

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:

Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, visited his son Ibrahim while he was breathing his last. The eyes of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, began to flow with tears and 'Abdu'r-Rahman ibn 'Awf said to him, "Even you, Messenger of Allah!" He said, "O Ibn 'Awf, it is an aspect of mercy." then more tears followed and the Prophet said, "The eye weeps and the heart grieves. We say nothing except what pleases our Lord. O Ibrahim, we are grieved at your departure."

[al-Bukhari]

Sister, please read this khutbah, because it matches your situation:


Goodbye My Beloved
http://www.khutbah.com/index.php?typ...644&language=8



We will keep you in our dua's insha'Allaah.

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

That's a brilliant khutbah.^^^

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon. Sis try to have sabr inshaAllah you will be rewarded for it.

[skhalid]

Inalilahi waina ilaihi rajioon....May Allah preseeve all the cildren who have died @ such a young age, wjo didn't get to understand the true meaning of life!!!
Aaamin

[skhalid]

Inalilahi waina ilaihi rajioon....May Allah preseeve all the cildren who have died @ such a young age, wjo didn't get to understand the true meaning of life!!!
Aaamin

sorry for the spelling mistakes
I will type it again just in case
May Allah preserve all the children who have died at such a young age, who didn't get to understand the true meaning of life!!!

[Ninth_Scribe]

:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:

That depends on alot of different things. I would never recommend abandoning the mind's ability to pursue and find closure unless I had reason to believe the person was dwelling on this for a long time and it was preventing them from pursuing their life. This death is very recent so you're still searching for closure. Perhaps you'l find comfort by Allah, knowing the soul was that of an innocent, so there is eternal blessing. Maybe you'll find comfort in other ways, but you're still in the process of grief and you're still searching... take your time and make sure the death is completely settled in your mind.

Mental injuries are no different in nature than physical ones. If you break a leg bone and it isn't set correctly, it won't heal correctly and you'll have a limp. It will never be as useful to you as it was. Emotional injuries are the same. If you don't fully heal from them, set the injury correcty, it will dog you and affect your out-look on life, and your attitude. People who don't allow themselves to heal from the death of loved ones can become very cold and unfeeling creatures, when they could have transcended the experience with greater faith and a greatness of heart... bravery in love which cannot be destroyed by Death.

I pray you keep searching and find yours.

Ninth Scribe

[SUMMAYAH]

Inna lilahi winna ilayhi raji'oon.
Sister I'm so sorry for your loss. Inshallah it will be a means of salvation for you in the hereafter.
I know how you feel about some people not understanding your feelings and wanting you to move on. one word, 'sod em!' you take your time sister, like someone mentioned you need to heal properly.
Talk to your husband about how your feeling, talk to your friends or just phone up a help line to get it off your chest. Don't keep it inside, because one day you might just explode with emotions that may be hard to control.
If your not feeling all happy, happy, Don't pretend to be. Just let your feelings be.
PM me if you need some one to talk to, I want to be there for you sister.
all my love
summayah.

[glo]

:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:

Dear sister

My heart goes out to you!
I am a mother myself, and I can only guess what pain you must be feeling. :cry:

May God give you peace at this time, and let his presence surround you.

In the meantime, sister, this is your time to grieve and work through your pain!
It will take as long as it takes - let no-one tell you otherwise or instruct you how you should or should not behave!

You are in my thoughts and in my prayers, Bint Abdusattar.
Just as Summayah said, if you need to talk, I am happy to receive your PMs too.

God bless you.

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

Subhanallah. May Allah make this time easy for you and unite you and your husband with your child in Jannah Al Firdaus. Ameen.

:w:

[Mawaddah]

Subhanallah!

Sis be patient and have faith in Allah that your child is now in Paradise. Rasulullah said "Whoevers beloved one died and he was patient and sought reward then for him is Jannah"

My Prayers are with you sis :cry:

[Jayda]

:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:

i am so sorry for you bint abdusattar, my heart goes out for you... please do not feel bad about grieving it is a terrible thing to happen... maybe you should talk to a psychologist to help you through this... God will take care of you and your baby, but it is important that you look after your own health, even your emotional health as well... i will pray for you... i hope everybody will...

Dios te bendiga

[netprince]

Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon :cry:

The loss of a child could never be easy, I dont beleive the people telling you to 'get on with it' are right in the slightest. I have known many people grieve the loss of loved ones. They should give you the chance to express your grief and the time to come to terms with your loss.

May Allah(swt) ease your pain and give you the patience to bear your loss and reunite you both in Jannat ul Firdous.

[aamirsaab]

:sl:
People deal with death in different ways. There is no one correct way. It is up to the individual themselves to decide when they get back up.

Take your time, but don't let it crush your family. Inshallah, Allah will strengthen you.

[Genius]

That is so sad, May Allah give you sabr in these difficult times

[BlissfullyJaded]

:sl:

Inna lillahi wa inna illayhi wa raji'oun.

I'm sorry to hear this sis...I can't add much to what the others have said. You're in my adiyah. *hug*

[strider]

:sl:

Inna lillahi wa inna illayhi wa raji'oun.

I'm sorry to hear this sis...I can't add much to what the others have said. You're in my adiyah. *hug*

:cry: Inna lillahi wa inna illayhi wa raji'oun.

[sapphire]

Subhanallah!!! Inna lilahi wa'inna ilayhi raji'oon

:cry: i dont think ur expected to just forget about it and move on! it will take time!! may Allah give u great sabr through this difficult time and bless u with many more children Inshallah! ur in my thoughts n duaas!

[peacechaser]

:sl:

Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon

The advices before me are very good sister, we sympathizes for your grief.

You need times for your grief, but don't let the grief has the control over you.

[soulsociety]

:sl:

... You may not feel "normal" for a while, I think that's normal. Some people do get on with stuff as usual, as they feel it takes their mind off things.

Inshallah I shall pray for you tonight.

[Snowflake]

:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi ra'ji oon ... I'm deeply saddened to hear of your loss sis. I pray Allah swt gives you and your family sabr and heals your pain. Ameen. SubhanAllah, your pain must know no end, yet Allah will compensate for it in a way that it will seem like the prick of a thorn, inshaAllah. Such is Allah's Kindness and Mercy.

Concerning your question.. of course you can't be expected to carry on as normal (at this point) no matter how convenient it is for others. I hope that others around you realise that to help the healing process to begin they need to give you support, words of comfort and their understanding.

You can also help yourself by focusing on things that bring comfort such the reward Allah will compensate you with in the hereafter. And that this is what Allah willed as only He knows the reasons why, therefore we must bow down and accept His decisions. I know words aren't enough to ease your pain at present sis, but I pray that they help you feel a little stronger to cope with the pain you're going through inshaAllah.

Take care sis. You're in my thoughts and duaas inshaAllah.

:w:

[sister_fatimah]

:sl:

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi ra'jioon :cry:

Im so sorry for u , may Allah give u sabr ...
I cant imagine ur pain:cry: but I can remeber us what Allah says:
Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere,

Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return":-

They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance. [Surah Al Baqarah 155-157]

[ehmad]

All Praise to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Master of the day of judgement, hearer of all supplications. Peace and Blessing of Allah be upon on beloved and humble Prophet MUhammad, His Family and His Companions.

Dear Sister in Islam, First of all, I am really sorry for you loss; May Allah bestow upon you his blessing and give to strength to recover from the tragic loss of your child. Sister, I know many people have consolidated you in this regards, but at the end you have to realise that it is with the knowledge of Allah and Allah alone to put you in such a test and Allah rewards the one who is among As sabiroon ( those who are patient). I will narrate to you of the story of the Holy Prophet when he was on his jouney to Holy Ancesions to the Heavens. Upon reaching the seventh heaven, Prophet Muhammad narrates :

"I came upon a person all drowned in Light. He was seated upon a throne in an attitude of awesome dignity, and before him was a multitude of little children. I asked Jibra’il who was this person of such light, majesty and awe, and who were all the children with him. The angel answered me, ‘This is your great grandfather Ibrahim. He loves you and the entire nation that believes in you. He once prayed to the Lord of the Worlds that he might be of service to your nation, and the Lord heard his supplication. He gave him all these little children who are the little boys and girls from your nation who die before reaching adulthood. Allah Almighty has entrusted Ibrahim with their upbringing and education. Until the Day of Judgment, he will be instructing them in proper behavior and training their minds in the useful sciences. After having perfected their schooling, on the Day of Gathering he will lead them forth and bring them to the site of Resurrection. There, before the Lord’s Holy Presence, he will entreat Him with these words: ‘Oh my Lord, here are the youngsters of the nation of Your Beloved Muhammad Z who died before reaching the age of maturity. According to Your order and command, I have taught and trained them in all useful branches of knowledge, and brought them before Thy Majestic Throne. Thine is all kindness, favor and grace.’
“At this invocation, the Almighty Lord will reply with the full glory of His Majesty, ‘Oh children, go and enter the Gardens of Paradise.’

• Thereupon, these children will reply, ‘Oh our Lord, by Thy Grace and Thy Munificence, let our parents go with us!’
• The Almighty Lord will again direct His Divine Speech at them, and say,
• ‘You have nothing to answer for, go and enter into Paradise forthwith; as for your parents, they are accountable and there are things they have to answer for.’
• Again, these children entreat the Lord, ‘During their lives in the material world, we caused them sorrow through our absence;
• now, by the vastness of Thine Mercy which floods the universal expanse, let us be the cause of happiness for them.’
• Upon this plea, the All-Merciful and Beneficent Lord accepts the children’s supplications and addresses them, saying, ‘Go then and take from the wine of the spring of Kawthar and give your parents to drink therefrom.’

Sister, Imagine how lucky you are that Our Holy prophet's Great Grand father Prophet Ibrahim is upbringing and educating your child. Therefore, my dear sister in Islam be patient and Pray Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'alah to give you strength. It is natural in these hard times, that you may feel grieve about your tragic loss and it takes time to heal. I hope my answer helped you in your course of life.

Jazakumullahu khair

[Al_Imaan]

:sl:
May Allah give you Sabr'.
I will keep you in my dua's.
:w:

[hamidah]

salams..
Inna-ilillah wa Ina ileihi raji3un
sister sabr is the best and i hope u over come insha'Allah..

[Muslim Woman]

I seek refuge in Allah (The One God) from the Satan (devil) the cursed, the rejected

With the name of ALLAH (swt) -The Bestower Of Unlimited Mercy, The Continously Merciful


Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh (May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you)


&&&

:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:

Sister , my Allah bless u & increase u in pateince , Ameen. May Allah reward u for the pain you are going through now. Try to think like that ur baby is now in Paradise Insha Allah , no pain will ever touch ur baby anymore.

Is it possible for u to hire a part time cook or maid ; so that u don't have to work now all by urself & spend more time on praying & Quran recitation ?

May Allah ease ur life & bless u with more kids , Ameen.

[*love4isl@m*]

Subhanallah Ya Ukti!

Inna Allah wa inna ilayhi raji3oon... :'( :'(

May Allah Grant her Paradise Insha'allah!
May Allah make these times sahl for you and bring u together with ur family in jannat Al-Firdous... Ameen

"To Allah (SWT) we belong & to him is our return"

Wa3alaikum Salaam Wr Wb

[snakelegs]

i can not imagine how horrible it must be to lose your baby.
you've already gotten plenty of good advice on this thread - take your time to grieve your loss.
i too, will remember you in my prayers.

[Munda Pakistani]

inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon

[lolwatever]

:sl:
My little 8 month old baby Fatimah Sumiya died on December 22nd 2006.
Although i have been blessed with patience i do not think i have enough of it as i am not able to act 'normally' yet. eg wake up before husband to make his breakfast and act happy happy all the time. I have thought and thought about this and i understand that it will take time - but others don't see it this way! According to them i should be living life 'normally' and the grief should not overtake my duties! Are they right and i am wrong?
:w:

May allah make her a comfort 2ur eyes in Jannah inshalah!

so sad to hear, its normal to be sad sis, but remember that Allah stores a great reward for those who are patient :) not moving on with life won't bring the baby back to life, it will just ruin your life.

Ask allah to re-unite you with her in Jannah, be patient!

Take care all the best :)
salams

[Tania]

Rest in peace
I don't have childrens but i could not imagine to loose it.

[edil]

Asalamu Aleykum sis
I am really sorry to hear that bad news make Allah make you amongst the patients. I know its really hard to go back to the old routine especially when a baby you loved passed away but then sis you should realize that Allah gave you the baby in the first place and he's able to take it back so just bear patients and try not to think about it as much. Put your trust in Allah and just try to be the same like before and take care of your husband he might be going through the same grief as you so be the first to act normal and hopefully things will go back to the same again. Salams from your sister in islam.

[hassaanejaz]

inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon

[pridefulmuslim]

im sorry for your baby........let me tell u a good story........

my aunt went to a party with her husband and her one year old child. the persons house they went to a huge and it had a indoor swimming pool. she was sitting near the swimming pool with her son talking to a friend. 30 minutes later her son was missing, she looked all over the place but she couldnt find him. soon someone found the baby in the swimming pool dead. my aunt was so sad and felt like a terrible mother because she didnt watch her child. the same night she was crying so much and couldnt stop thinking about her child. the next morning she told her my uncle about a dream she had. in her dream there was a big party with a curtain dividing the men and the women, she was also in her dream. the ladies in the dream found out that there was a new guest in the mens side. all the ladies including my aunt peaked through the curtains to see who it was, it was Prophet Isa holding my aunts baby. after that day she was never sad and was happy because her child is in a very good position right now....

this story is true and this happened around 30 years ago......

[Naira]

Inna lillahi waa innaa ilaihi rajioon

[pridefulmuslim]

Inna lillahi waa innaa ilaihi rajioon

what does that mean?

[Tears4Palestine]

Inna Lilahi wa inna Alayhi wa raz3joen

[Tears4Palestine]

what does that mean?

:sl:

To Allah we belong and to Allah we return

:w:

[Al-Zaara]

:sl:

Inna Lillahi wa Inna Illahi Rajoon.

I'm so sorry for your loss... But your baby is in a better place now, together with Allah (swt). She doesn't feel any sorrow, nor pain or sadness near Allah, so do not feel grief either. She was taken too fast away from you, it may seem, but it was all in Allah(swt)'s plan.

May Allah bless and love your baby girl, may you be reunited with her in Jannah.

And Insha'Allah you will overcome this sorrow and may Allah make your future brighter and full of happiness.

Ameen to all duas.

Take care!

[Grace Seeker]

Bint Abdusattar,

My heart goes out to you in your grief. No person who has not been where you are can ever understand your experience. And even those who have been there, cannot tell you that you shuold grieve in the same way they have. Each of us has our own way to grieve, and any grief that allow you to express what you are feeling on the inside is an appropriate form of grief.

I am a Christian pastor and spend a lot of time with grieving people. I do not think there is a right or a wrong way to grieve. Some people burying it, and I do not think that is particularly helpful for them, for I see it erupting in other places in their lives where they are next expecting it to show itself, and then it is more difficult to deal with there because they have to first understand that it is a result of incomplete grief. So, get up and make your husband breakfast if this blesses him, for he needs love too, but also be honest with him that you are still grieving and hurting on the inside. From what you have said, my guess is that your husband is too, and he just doesn't know how to express it, so he chooses not to deal with it as his way of dealing with it.

How long should you grieve? I find that most people grieve for about 1-2 years. I don't mean that they have no joy for two years, but that they carry the emotion with them for about that length of time. Some are less, some are more. My own mother lost two babies before I was born. I am now 50, and in a heart-to-heart with my mother recently I discovered that she still thinks of these children that she lost. It does not control her life, and that can be the test as to whether you are dealing with grief well or not. If your feelings take control over your life, then perhaps you need to get some counseling. This is true whether you have deep unconsolable grief, or walk around faking that everything is wonderful when in truth it is not. But for the first couple of months, I think I should not worry about it, and just experience the feeling and own that you do feel how you feel.

Beyond that, I expect that your feelings will remain very much raw for sometime, but you ought also to be able to find some hope and good news in life at the same time. Don't force it. Let it come naturally. It will. Just give it time, and then some more time.

[RiMa AlI]

what does that mean?

U recite diz wen a person diez as a muslim....I dnt knw wat u say 2 n non- muslim....i 4gtton.. all i knw there a dua 4 dat... Ma bad

XxXxXxX:sl: xXxXxXxXx

[RiMa AlI]

:sl:

Inalilahi waina ilaihi rajioon.. i knw hw it feel 2 lose ur loved 1z.......Coz ma cozin sista was in labour a week erly n she had high blood pressure... She cudnt tyk da pain....she had a minor stroke n no1/ nor did she realise.. aftawrds her water brke.. she waz den tken in2 hospital...Da doctor den decided 2 giv her a c-section becoz da baby was ova average weight... Half way thrgh ma sista jst gave up..... Da sad bit waz dat she knew dat she wsnt gnna live becoz da dy b4 she tld me dat she had a dream n she dreamt abt a house a beautifull house. n she saw dada n dadee dey were syn 'welcome'.....Dat was her exact wrdz..Itz waz so freaky..
Unfortunately she n nor did her baby cudnt mke it 2 diz wrld.....She also got lil daughter n wen Zara saw her mum wrapped up in a white clothes she was syn "y is amma asleep, y she desnt wake up"..... it cudnt hold ma tearz in any longa i jst brst out cryn... stupid me... She dan realised......She relli brave thgh...so much lik her mum...
But it waz so weird durin her Janadah we usauly get da body in2 da house.. her face was glowing Allahumdulilah......
But as ever1 elez has metioned dat ur baby (Fatimah) is in Jannah.......Ever1 has 2 go 1 day....Allah does everi fng 4 da best.......Wat eva iz written in our destiny is decide by Allah all mighty....

May Allah reuntied u N ur partner wiv ur child in Jannah....InshALLAH....
Jst mke sure u n ur partner hve faith in ALLAH n hve dat strng bond between each otha....
U Also hve everi1z dua frm diz forum (minez)

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