Assalamu Alaikum
I highly encourage
everyone to read
this article. It has everything you need to know about the Islamic greeting.
I posted it a while back since it's a pet peeve of mine when someone doesn't say their salaams:
http://www.islamicboard.com/general-...r-salaams.html [Note: These are merged threads, so it's very useful if you go through the pages inshallah]
The answer to your original post [including that insult you spoke of]:
EXCHANGING SALAAM WITH NON-MUSLIMS
The Prophet (pbuh) said:"Do not greet the Jews and the Christians with salaam." However, if they salaam first, we may reply by saying "wa a'laykum" (and upon you)." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Salutation and Meeting Non-Muslims
Amr bin Shu'aib - Tirmithi: The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: "He does not belong to us who imitates people other than us. Do not imitate the Jews or the Christians, for the Jews salutation is to make a gesture with the fingers and the Christians salutation is to make a gesture with the palms of the hands."
Ayesha - Bukhari: When some Jews came to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and said, "As-saamu 'a'laikom" (Death be upon you) and he replied, "Wa 'a'laikom" (and upon you), she ('A'isha) said, "Death be upon you and may Allah curse you and be angry with you." The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) then said, "Gently, 'A'isha, keep to kindness and avoid harshness and coarseness." She asked if he had not heard what they said, and he asked if she had not heard what he said, saying, "I replied to them, and my prayer regarding them will be answered, but theirs regarding me will not."
fi aman Allah
w'salaam