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bsgoohbi
01-15-2007, 05:01 PM
:sl:

Hope you all are in good health and fine.

Do you think that there is pure friendship between male and female?

many of men and women have each other on messenger and keep talking when they are online.

they try to convince themselves that it is just pure friendship and will never lead to bad curve.

many of these relationship developed to love. whether it was ended with marriage or without marriage.

Can they have control and limit this relationship from going deeper?

do you mind to talk to men/women?

Wish to hear from you all.


Ahmad
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Skillganon
01-15-2007, 05:03 PM
What does Islam say about it? and I don't mean about MSN messenger.
Reply

Maarya
01-15-2007, 05:13 PM
whether its through msn or sitting in the same room and talking, its still free-mixing of the sexes, so i would say no, its not good.
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Skillganon
01-15-2007, 05:17 PM
I agree with sis. If you are using it to socialise with the opposite gender than it can lead to lot of fitnah.
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Jayda
01-15-2007, 05:19 PM
hola bsgoohbi,

i do to a certain extent... i think as long as you are guarded and keep away from certain things then you can avoid temptation... i am not attracted to any of my male friends... but in the past some have told me they are attracted to me, which is very uncomfortable. i have learned how to be friendly but personally distant with my male friends so that this does not happen as much any more.

things are different now because i am married... when my husband was my boyfriend... even though he was my first and only boyfriend... men still did not respect that boundary and would sometimes do things that surprised me... now that i am married and even more now that i have children i think this will make a very big difference...

it is so heartbreaking telling a friend that you do not feel for them in that way... one of the worst moments in my life was when a boy who was like a brother to me told me that he was in love with me and wanted me to reconsider getting married to my husband... i have not seen him since then, he did not come to our wedding or the reception and the only thing i have heard from him since then is when his mother sent my husband and i a Christmas card which contained one brief line about him passing on his congratulations about the birth of our daughters...

i think it is best to have cordial relationships with men who have been a good force in your life... friendly, but not very close... intimacy for men in your family that are not threatening... like sons, fathers, brothers, nephews or cousins, and most especially for husbands.

i do not know about having male friends on AIM... i do not talk to strangers on my instant messenger and i am very guarded even with normal people, i do not think it is possible for me to fall for anyone except for my husband, and certainly not somebody i have never personally met... so i think there is no possibility of an inappropriate relationship with somebody from the internet... i would be very surprised if there were women who would fall for somebody they have never met before... but perhaps it happens...

but the internet is dangerous and i would not try to make friends with people from there to begin with...

Dios te bendiga
Reply

Maarya
01-15-2007, 06:25 PM
^ ^ ^
i agree - internet is dangerous.

on msn i only talk to the people who i have seen and who i know. i hav my privacy as block all others. if someone i dnt know does add me i block them straight away - especially if they're male
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-15-2007, 08:26 PM
honestly dont think it matters bro :? Allahu a'lam mayb a boy who finds a girl ugly and a girl who finds said boy ugly can be friends but either way it aint allowed so lets avoid it inshaAllaah
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Woodrow
01-15-2007, 08:30 PM
It is a very difficult thing to control. I will not say that genuine pure friendships can not develop, but it is very rare. Chances are it will not remain as a "pure" friendship, the odds are against it.
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Dawud_uk
01-16-2007, 08:57 AM
assalaamu alaykum,

how do people think affairs and extra maritial relationships start?

do you think two people just bump into each other in the street and decide to go book a hotel room on the spur of the moment? or does shaitan work on them over the period of their friendship, putting desire into their hearts and working on them making them feel good about being with their friends.

now me personally i have never heard of an affair or extra maritial relationship starting in any way other than through friendship or friendly behaviour between men and women, counting out the freaks who go to weird clubs for that sort of thing but dont think that is what is being discussed here.

so islam sets guidelines, Allah says in the Quran that we should not come near zina. think about it? Allah isnt just saying dont do zina, he is saying dont come near it. so the scholars from the earliest times until very recently were agreed it was haram to mix unless for specified islamic purposes and even then said it was better not to to avoid fitnah.

assalaamu alaykum,
Abu Abdullah
Reply

sevgi
01-16-2007, 09:03 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow
It is a very difficult thing to control. I will not say that genuine pure friendships can not develop, but it is very rare. Chances are it will not remain as a "pure" friendship, the odds are against it.
i agree...even if they are pure friends(which is very rare) it usually ends when it starts to fall out of purity. well, what i mean is, as time goes by, purity withers and either
a)the friendship withers with it.
b)they fall into impurity together.

one must understand the purpose for Allah creatin opposite sexes. it is impossible to stay pure friends forever. but im not saying it cant be true very rarely for a short while.

peace.:)
Reply

lolwatever
01-16-2007, 09:07 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by bsgoohbi
:sl:

Hope you all are in good health and fine.

Do you think that there is pure friendship between male and female?

many of men and women have each other on messenger and keep talking when they are online.

they try to convince themselves that it is just pure friendship and will never lead to bad curve.

many of these relationship developed to love. whether it was ended with marriage or without marriage.

Can they have control and limit this relationship from going deeper?

do you mind to talk to men/women?

Wish to hear from you all.


Ahmad
v unlikely. dere's like a billion n one threads abt that here

tc :w:
Reply

Snowflake
01-16-2007, 11:31 AM
It's not impossible. But it's very rare. If both people are very self-deciplined then it can work. If one out of the two is weak then hmm.. you know the rest.
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Dawud_uk
01-16-2007, 11:54 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
It's not impossible. But it's very rare. If both people are very self-deciplined then it can work. If one out of the two is weak then hmm.. you know the rest.
except they would be disobeying Allah swt so why do it even if you do believe it possible?

Abu Abdullah
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Snowflake
01-16-2007, 04:59 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dawud_uk
except they would be disobeying Allah swt so why do it even if you do believe it possible?

Abu Abdullah
of course it's disobeying Allah.. I meant that if it does happen it can be purely platonic - as in without leading to zina. But like I said that's rare.
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snakelegs
01-17-2007, 10:09 PM
i think it would be very difficult to keep it pure if the people involved are young. pure friendships can develop, but it is the exceptional rather than the norm. also, i believe one should be very careful on the internet.
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skhalid
01-17-2007, 10:12 PM
The best way to avoid fings from turning 'curvy'..is not 2 b friends in the 1st place...it says that a male and a female...who are not blood related..shouldn't meet in secret...or have a private relationship...that no one else knws about...basically...us gyals shudn't evn tlk 2 boys who we can end up marryin in the end!!!
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bsgoohbi
01-18-2007, 05:56 PM
Thank you all for your contributions, whether you are agree or disagree.

let me say something, we all know that in Islam there is no friendship between male and female. But let us admit that this kind of friendship is a reality and active between most of male and female Muslim people.

the problem here is that most of us refuse this attitude, but we don't implement this refusal in the reality?

what is the best way to prevent this impermissible friendship from going away?

I guess it is so hard to do so?
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- Qatada -
01-18-2007, 07:52 PM
:salamext:


You just have to break the bond, thats the only option. :)

If you keep telling each other that you'll gradually break it off, you desire to be with them more because absence makes you want their friendship more.


The best option is to break it off and tell that person from the opposite gender that you have to, and then choose other friends from the same gender. Obviously these friends should be good practising muslims, otherwise they might make friends with people from the opposite gender again.

These practising muslim friends will help you and keep your mind occupied on more important issues, about islaam etc. You might miss the friend from the opposite gender, but gradually it will die out insha'Allaah so long as you don't keep going back to them. Your friends will take their place insha'Allaah; just remember to keep making dua and have patience because they're the best weapons of the believer.
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Pk_#2
01-18-2007, 07:56 PM
Ermmmm...i think theres nothing wrong with it,

depending on who you are,

if you keep your distance n u no wear u stand n dat then its cool,

i know some guys who go a bit 'coo coo' when they chat to a girl for more then two days :|

I also know girls who get all 'giggly' with guys

And meeeeeeeee

am jus weird

:D

..
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Ashley
01-19-2007, 06:57 PM
i dunt get it i hav been friends with this boy for like since i was 12 ,and nothing ever happened between us , we are just good friends why cant u be friends with boys i mean if u don't do anyfink or you are not attracted to him then why cant u be friends
please brothers and sisters don't think im a person who doesn't obey rules i do but im soo new to islam and i just want to no thats all after all i havnt grown up being a muslim and alot of ideas i dunt understand
i jat want to understand so i hope u wil help me understand:)
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- Qatada -
01-19-2007, 07:09 PM
:salamext:


Sister Ashley, even if one person doesn't have feelings for the other person - whats stopping them from having feelings for you? You might not have had any feelings since you've been small because the hormones only kick in once you get older..

If the person gets emotions for you, especially when you don't have feelings for them - you get confused, and fall into an even worser situation because you don't know how to respond to that. One time or another you have to break it off, and it's better for the person to do it while these complications don't come up.



Yeah it's hard to believe that it can happen, but it does. There can't be a pure innocent friendship between a girl and guy if islaam doesn't permit it.

It can even be harmful when the person gets married because they might compare this friend to their future partner. Some people even say that this is my friend or 'brother/sister in faith' so i'm just hanging out with them. But later on they might get married as a couple, but then you gota ask yourself - how can you marry someone if you just counted them as your 'brother/sister' before - why could that be? It's because the emotions come into it.


Put your trust in Allaah sis, and pray to Allaah alot for help. If you give up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will replace you with something better inshaa'Allaah.
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Phoenix CG
01-19-2007, 07:11 PM
what if its on a business level, trust me i never shut up about business. Everything is to do with uniting muslims and showing the world we are capable of turning the whole situation around.
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-19-2007, 07:15 PM
:salamext:

sis ashley in my honest opinion i think its best that we take the most correct views of the scholars which is free-mixing of opposite genders is not allowed.

I guess you wont truelly understand why until a situation arises and feelings kick in but im asking is it enough to whole heartedly accept that we shouldnt be talking to the opposite gender due to the stance of the scholars and learned men? To me logic plays a huge part of it aswell, there are people who take 2 seconds to click and fall in love, then theres those who take days/months/years/centuries but its amazing that the ones that take longer usually have a huger impact if you know what i mean.

So you been with him for 12 years... imagine the scenario that one day he turns around and goes:

"Ashley... I L**E YOU"

just imagine... thats something you want to avoid right :uuh:

also as a muslim, try to hold up the muslim fundamentals, modesty is a huge part of imaan and its just imodest to hang around freely with the opposite gender.


I hope you reach this in the best of imaan inshaAllaah.
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Angel
01-19-2007, 07:36 PM
im not much to give advice sis but bro is right believ me it happened to me and it aint pretty it horrible i learnt me lesson da hard way ,n i wish i hadnt
so try to do as da bro says i no u havint been muslin for long
but do try ur best sis:)
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Asvi
01-19-2007, 09:17 PM
There could be a pure friendship between guy/girl if they can keep flirtacious compliments to themselves. Stick to non-fitnah related topics and such.
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Silver Pearl
01-20-2007, 12:08 PM
:wasalamex

I'm sad to have to keep repeating the same things over and over again. Playing the broken record is not a fun job let me assure you!

This is a discussion, and we expect all members to contribute with the right manner without provoking others. In addition there is no need to get personal attacks in any topic.

Shockingly enough the moderators have lives outside this board (I know it is mind blowing). So please can you try your utmost best to avoid any clashes between you and your fellow member. This is a reminder but if this keeps happening again, the staff may be forced to give out warnings and this thread will be closed.

So please contribute to this thread in a positive light without ticking off other members.

Thank you for your co-operations.

Have a joyous day Inshallaah (God willing) :)
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SilentObserver
01-20-2007, 12:12 PM
Yes, pure friendship can exist. I don't think it is common though.

Example: Think of an elderly woman and a young man. Generally, physical attraction is important to young men. If a young man befriends an elderly woman by helping here with chores, etc, and they become friends. It is unlikely that anything other than a friendship will develop.
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aqsa1
01-21-2007, 10:33 PM
man and woman friendship is pure fitnah so one should avoid having friendship with the opposite sex
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glo
01-22-2007, 06:04 AM
I find this question a little puzzling.

Speaking purely from personal experience, I have been friends with many men without sexual desires or thoughts ever entering into me head.
Like women, men are human beings first, sexual beings second.
(Of course I cannot speak for how those male friends ever thought about me ... but I never detected any sexual tension between us)

I understand about the concerns of free-mixing, but for me it is a way of life - and I have always remained safe and secure (Am I just the exception???), as well as happily and faithfully married.

Peace
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shigatse
01-24-2007, 04:29 PM
:sl:
Yes I Believe in it, MY WIFE MASHA-ALLAH IS MY BEST FRIEND.
brothers try it you will InshahAllah find your best friends in your wife,s.
:w:
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AnonymousPoster
01-26-2007, 05:30 PM
:sl:

I really think its unsafe to have a friendship with someone from the opposite sex. You always end up having some sort of feelings for the person or vice versa. At the beginning, you feel as if its just "a person" and not "a guy" or "a girl." But then later on you begin to develop other kinds of feelings for the person. This sometimes happens quickly but sometimes it can take some more time. Even if you've never seen the person and you chat to them on the internet, you are still running the very high risk of either developing intimate feelings for the person, having the person develop intimate feelings for you, or even both. This is very common and I have actually gone through that phase recently.

You're probably reading this post and starting to believe me about this. But you don't know how to end that haram friendship that your having with that guy or that girl. Here's what you can do: tell the person the situation and be completely honest with them. Chances are that the person would understand your intentions and you would part. Delete all of the contact info from your phone book etc. If the friendship was over msn, as the person to block you and delete you and you do the same inshaAllah. If that fails, just change your screenname and don't give the person your new screenname.
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SilentObserver
01-28-2007, 05:02 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:sl:

I really think its unsafe to have a friendship with someone from the opposite sex. You always end up having some sort of feelings for the person or vice versa. At the beginning, you feel as if its just "a person" and not "a guy" or "a girl." But then later on you begin to develop other kinds of feelings for the person. This sometimes happens quickly but sometimes it can take some more time. Even if you've never seen the person and you chat to them on the internet, you are still running the very high risk of either developing intimate feelings for the person, having the person develop intimate feelings for you, or even both. This is very common and I have actually gone through that phase recently.

You're probably reading this post and starting to believe me about this. But you don't know how to end that haram friendship that your having with that guy or that girl. Here's what you can do: tell the person the situation and be completely honest with them. Chances are that the person would understand your intentions and you would part. Delete all of the contact info from your phone book etc. If the friendship was over msn, as the person to block you and delete you and you do the same inshaAllah. If that fails, just change your screenname and don't give the person your new screenname.
I think with younger people this is mostly true. You have the hormones racing around etc. But as you get older and the hormones settle down, I believe it is perfectly possible. Of course there are always some people that can never, but most people relax enough (hormones that is) for this to be possible.
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Dawud_uk
01-29-2007, 08:44 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by SilentObserver
I think with younger people this is mostly true. You have the hormones racing around etc. But as you get older and the hormones settle down, I believe it is perfectly possible. Of course there are always some people that can never, but most people relax enough (hormones that is) for this to be possible.
hi silent,

i would argue from knowing what is going off around me in my office that older people cannot control themselves also, or rather they choose not to.

in islam we dont just say, well i can control myself therefore the rules dont apply to me because the rules are for everyone to protect everyone so that the whole of society is protected.

this importance of protecting the whole of society is much more strongly stressed in islam and hence why Allah has given us these rules to follow which if we follow sincerely lead to a better more moral society as a whole.

Abu Abdullah
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S_87
01-29-2007, 02:04 PM
:sl:

the shaytaan is always there. it only takes one comment or even a ;) to start something.

I understand about the concerns of free-mixing, but for me it is a way of life - and I have always remained safe and secure (Am I just the exception???), as well as happily and faithfully married.
Hi glo,
the ruling regarding free-mixing is not there because then everyone would be having affairs or anything. its there as a precaution. if just a minority are in an extra marital affair that in itself is such a destruction to the community, a break up of marriages/separation for children etc.
so the rule is there for everyone even though not everyone would be unfaithful. :)
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MinaJ
01-29-2007, 02:11 PM
Peace all,

In my personal belief, there can be genuine friendship even though one person, or both, may gain feelings for each other.

Just like in any relationship, if it's founded on respect and mutual understanding, it will thrive. The problem is that we as humans, are much weaker intellectually, and much better at following desires, which at the end of the day, can compromise the best of relationships.
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SilentObserver
01-30-2007, 02:44 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Dawud_uk
hi silent,

i would argue from knowing what is going off around me in my office that older people cannot control themselves also, or rather they choose not to.

in islam we dont just say, well i can control myself therefore the rules dont apply to me because the rules are for everyone to protect everyone so that the whole of society is protected.

this importance of protecting the whole of society is much more strongly stressed in islam and hence why Allah has given us these rules to follow which if we follow sincerely lead to a better more moral society as a whole.

Abu Abdullah
My opinion is that it is not necessary. Society as a whole has become corrupt. But that is a result of getting away from traditional values. There was a time when people lived more simple lives, and family was more important than anything else. Things were different then. Avoiding friendships with the opposite sex was not necessary. People just behaved in a more appropriate manner.
Some may argue that if we lived by this islamic teaching that we would have a more moral society. I think it true that if we went back to traditional values and more wholesome living, that we would have a more moral society.
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zaki.aumeerudy
02-04-2007, 06:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by bsgoohbi
:sl:

Hope you all are in good health and fine.

Do you think that there is pure friendship between male and female?

many of men and women have each other on messenger and keep talking when they are online.

they try to convince themselves that it is just pure friendship and will never lead to bad curve.

many of these relationship developed to love. whether it was ended with marriage or without marriage.

Can they have control and limit this relationship from going deeper?

do you mind to talk to men/women?

Wish to hear from you all.


Ahmad
I would try to answer your question accordign to my islamic knowledge and practically
ISLAMICALLY
it is clear from hadith that when a man and a woman meets without a mahram their third companion is shaytwaan whic may lead to marriage ,zina ,etc but anyway it is wrong and you will fall into sin and transgression
if u are talking on the internet this condition does not apply because u are not physically present
In hadith muslim the prophet swallah allahu alaihi wa sallam did talk to woman in open public .remeber this is the prophet it is not u
from that hadith it is permitted to talk in public but what to talk about ,rubbish or halaal ..it would not be better for the woman to know to whom he is speaking ,the guy should be islamically of good reputation and limits are to be observed specially now when we are in the time of fitnah

PRACTICALLY
i work in abig company with more than two thousand employees , i have remarked that muslim women do not talk to muslim men but are more than familiar with others (hindu,christian,etc ,remember there may also be good people among them) the other side also is true muslim man do not talk to muslim woman but other women from another religion do not hesitate to talk to u
result
1:33% of muslim/muslim marriage are broken according to official survey
2: there are many inter religion marriage from man and woman also
around
around 1990 more than 4000 four thousand muslim woman has been married to those of other religion and r following the latter

it will be better for a muslim man to talk to a muslim woman or vice versa in the sense that if something like marriage may happen it would be islamically still on the right side . secondly many muslims know the boundaries better tahn the kaafirs or mushriks but beware of those jaahils ,ignoramuses


i have tried to the best of my knowledge to answer that question but i would like to add that many people in these chat room which are not islamic jsut talk about nonsense , jahiliyah and insult people like animals unjustly maas salaam
Reply

Maidah
02-04-2007, 06:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by zaki.aumeerudy
I would try to answer your question accordign to my islamic knowledge and practically
ISLAMICALLY
it is clear from hadith that when a man and a woman meets without a mahram their third companion is shaytwaan whic may lead to marriage ,zina ,etc but anyway it is wrong and you will fall into sin and transgression
if u are talking on the internet this condition does not apply because u are not physically present
In hadith muslim the prophet swallah allahu alaihi wa sallam did talk to woman in open public .remeber this is the prophet it is not u
from that hadith it is permitted to talk in public but what to talk about ,rubbish or halaal ..it would not be better for the woman to know to whom he is speaking ,the guy should be islamically of good reputation and limits are to be observed specially now when we are in the time of fitnah

PRACTICALLY
i work in abig company with more than two thousand employees , i have remarked that muslim women do not talk to muslim men but are more than familiar with others (hindu,christian,etc ,remember there may also be good people among them) the other side also is true muslim man do not talk to muslim woman but other women from another religion do not hesitate to talk to u
result
1:33% of muslim/muslim marriage are broken according to official survey
2: there are many inter religion marriage from man and woman also
around
around 1990 more than 4000 four thousand muslim woman has been married to those of other religion and r following the latter

it will be better for a muslim man to talk to a muslim woman or vice versa in the sense that if something like marriage may happen it would be islamically still on the right side . secondly many muslims know the boundaries better tahn the kaafirs or mushriks but beware of those jaahils ,ignoramuses


i have tried to the best of my knowledge to answer that question but i would like to add that many people in these chat room which are not islamic jsut talk about nonsense , jahiliyah and insult people like animals unjustly maas salaam

I agree with you to some extent though. Even if muslim men are getting into marriage with other races, that still wouldn't be an excuse for men and women to interact in this way. But then again the above point also makes sense. In my opinion pure friendship between male and females don't really exist, and even if you are going out with someone with the intention that you will marry them, most of the time things don't go the right way. It's always better to talk and ask each other where this relationship is going to save oneself from pain and sins. At the end of the day it's all down to the intentions of the two.

I hope i avent said anyfing to hurt anyone and may Allah forgive us all for the sins we have commited.

Salam
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youngsister
02-04-2007, 11:06 PM
:sl: No there is no such thing as pure friendship between a woman and a man, and secondly...most importantly..its not allowed in Islam.
Simple.
:w:
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SilentObserver
02-05-2007, 07:37 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by youngsister
:sl: No there is no such thing as pure friendship between a woman and a man:w:
simply not true. I have had, and still do have such friendships with women. There are many people that do. Many people are taught to believe this is not possible through culture and religion. And for those people, it never will be possible. For many of us that have not been taught this, we don't have this problem.
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Al-Zaara
02-05-2007, 11:55 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by SilentObserver
simply not true. I have had, and still do have such friendships with women. There are many people that do. Many people are taught to believe this is not possible through culture and religion. And for those people, it never will be possible. For many of us that have not been taught this, we don't have this problem.
Greetings,

But how can you be sure the person really doesn't feel anything for you?

This is such a hard question, as only I can tell what I feel, but never really what the other part feels.

It also depends how one defines "pure".
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Nablus
02-05-2007, 11:56 AM
Do you think that there is pure friendship between male and female?
absolutely no no
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anonymous
02-05-2007, 03:03 PM
:sl:

Just stay away from the opposite gender full stop. Prevention is better than cure.
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Re.TiReD
02-05-2007, 03:08 PM
Do you believe in pure friendship between male and female?

nope!!!! fullstop...no way :w:
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sister_fatimah
02-05-2007, 04:15 PM
:sl:

Doesnt matter if I believe or not , most important is remember that is forbbiden , absloluttly , No , haram ...maybe i cant see it dangerous , but Allah knows best and our Prophet (sallah Allahu alayhis wa sallam ) said that the third between a woman and a man alone is the shaytaan , audu billah , and when the shaytan starts with the was was hmm problems , fitnah ..
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SilentObserver
02-06-2007, 12:51 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
Greetings,

But how can you be sure the person really doesn't feel anything for you?

This is such a hard question, as only I can tell what I feel, but never really what the other part feels.

It also depends how one defines "pure".
Besides my hideous appearance? :p There is no way to know for sure, but for at 3 of those friendships I can say it is highly unlikely.
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deen_2007
02-06-2007, 12:55 AM
i guess......it depends on the kind of personality u have.....but as for frre-mixing i do believe its wrong becos u wil neva no wer it wud lead to........u may tink itll remain 'pure'....but remember satan is always waiting for the opportuinity to lead u to the wrong path.........so its best to stick to wats forbidden n wats not........
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FA68
02-08-2007, 02:05 PM
salam brothers and sisters

i dont think that men and women should be friends as there is always a middle person involved the shaytaan. also if in islam our cousins of the opposite s-x are khair marham then it is definetly wrong. personally i dont think should be friends with the opposite s-x unless you have to interact with them but no to friendship.
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brother_rk
02-14-2007, 07:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by bsgoohbi
:sl:

Hope you all are in good health and fine.

Do you think that there is pure friendship between male and female?

many of men and women have each other on messenger and keep talking when they are online.

they try to convince themselves that it is just pure friendship and will never lead to bad curve.

many of these relationship developed to love. whether it was ended with marriage or without marriage.

Can they have control and limit this relationship from going deeper?

do you mind to talk to men/women?

Wish to hear from you all.


Ahmad
Salam Brother Ahmad,

My little brother used to tell me that men and women can NEVER be "just friends". I used to shrug it off and think he's being weak. I always thought I was stronger. But, man! Was I wrong!

Men and women CANNOT be "just friends"! I know this for a fact! 99.9999% of the time, the friendship will turn down a path that's not appropriate. It might be something obvious like dating each other, the relationship might turn sexual, etc. or it could be very subtle like talking to the girl about sex, etc. or something of the sort.

I personally feel it's okay to talk to women for work, school or about religious subjects. But it should definately be in a public place and in a controlled manner. After all, Shaytan is the third person when the man and woman are alone! Remember this!

I have to admit though, I do have one female friend that I chat with online from time to time. We've been "just friends" for many years without the relationship turning bad, but regardless, I know it's wrong and if I plan on getting married, I don't think my wife-to-be will like this very much. So InshAllah with Allah's guidance I will take steps to mend this problem in my life. I advise the same to everyone else who might be in the same situation.

Salam.
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