A`udhu Billahi mina Shaytanir Rajeem,
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Assalamu 'alaykum truthbetold,
as a revert, MAYBE part of my "story" might help. i was 48, a student(maybe a poor one) of many "Chrisitans" "sects" from Armstrongism to Pentecostal and from a Catholic background. i gave up things like Christmas, Easter, "Sunday" worship and that whole "i'm saved" type thing decades ago although, tbh, i'm not sure i ever had the "i'm saved" thing. i've read dozens of Translations of "The Bible", preferring older ones like Ferrah Fenton and Moffit, but appreciate the Zondervan Study Bibles, really really enjoyed translations of Jewish Tanakh's and Torah's to "Christian" Old Testemants. i was kind of isolated as a minority, especially when someone would want to know "what church" practiced my beliefs as, well NONE was the answer...
in frustration, i remember just belting out one day "how come no religion just worships G-d for crying out loud!" followed up by "i wish i could find the Religion of Abraham(as)!"
my ex-girlfriend had FINALLY moved out and i was left with one of her dogs. a month or 2 later, i was in the hospital after having a heart attack that lasted for almost 4 days. the ex got the call to come get the dog! [but, tbh, i REALLY miss him! i REALLY REALLY LOVED that dog! and he, me! :D ]
3 months later i decide to read something on Islam[long story short: woman in hijabs and a close Muslim lady freind]; i picked up something called "the Everything Koran Book"[or something to that effect, someone borrowed it, it's gone] as well as a Qur'an (or 5!).
i quickly read something about wudu, so i figured i couldn't read the Qur'an. i got to a chapter on shari'a which was real close to one about how the Qur'an and Islam provides a WHOLE way of life AND community! [that was the KEY for me] i was kinda flabberghasted as i never had the intent to accept Islam.
my "lady friend" who could talk to me for hours REFUSED to tell me anything about about Islam. around the same time, there was a documentary on the History Channel called Decoding The Past Secrets of the Koran(Qur'an). it was pretty good, esp the 1st half.
the above mentioned woman DID give me the number to the Masjid. i called it, got the address and the next day located it. based on:
i got to a chapter on shari'a which was real close to one about how the Qur'an and Islam provides a WHOLE way of life AND community!
the NEXT day i went to the Masjid. i couldn't find anyone.:cry: i left a VM and left and waited. a short while later, i went back and decided that i would just stay there until i saw someone. just parked my car in the lot, got out and waited. eventually some Brothers came out and i went to them and they brought me to the Imam. He wanted to explain Islam, but felt i had enough info and said that i wanted to say my Shahadah!
that's without ever reading the Qur'an or hearing the many marvelous and wonderous stories about the Rassululah Sallalaho Alaihe Wa Salaam! sure, it was a little scary, BUT what has followed has been nothing short of miraculous!
as regards to:
I feel like I'm getting ready to jump out of a plane and i cant bring myself to do it even though i know it would be the best possible thing for me
imho, your already in "freefall", Islam IS the PARACHUTE!
if i can be of any help, just PM and, Insha' Allah, i will get back to you!
May Allah(SWT) guide you to the straight path and may He(SWT) guide us all to the straight path! Ameen!
time for Esha, gotta go!
:w:
Yusuf