My parents

[michaelconvert]

Salaam
Hi im Michael. I am new to Islam but im trying my best to learn. I got the book Arabic For Dummies I assume that it will help my learn my prayers. It's really hard to learn a new language but i will eventually. The main problem is telling my parents. I do not want to deny Allah but i also love my parents. They are decent people but they’ve raised me to be christian so i know that they will go crazy. Negative media has very much warped their view of Islam and they will not except me. I want to wait until im 18 to tell them, but i dont want to deny Allah. What do I do?


ps: im not sure where to post this stuff.....just took a shot

[Angelzz]

Wasalaams Michael, Firstly welcome to islam Brother mashaAllah.

I am also a new revert and yes it is very difficult to tell your parents (i still havent told them outright) and i totally agree and understand that u dont want to deny allah . But alhamdulillah Allah knows how difficult it is for you and understands what your going through and seeing your not even 18 yet and i assume rely on ur parents for housing etc - holding off telling them is a good idea.

In this time it is also best to increase ur knowledge about islam. That way when u do tell them u can answer any questions they may raise sensibly and with knowledge instead of having a islam V christianity arguement.

InshaAllah brother Allah makes this easy for u remember to make dua.
If you have any problems or questions we are always here for you InshaAllah.

Btw Arabic is daunting to learn at first -- its better to go to some sort of arabic classes in ur area - i started mine on saturday and alhamdulillah it was so great looking forward to next week.

[Snowflake]

Aslam alaikum brother Michael,

I appreciate the difficulties you face in telling your parents... especially if their views of Islam are cynical. Perhaps, if at intervals you casually mention that you were reading about Islam and that it's teachings aren't what is portrayed by the media, you can open a door to a more indepth discussion later on. You can bring up different teachings of Islam simply by saying, "Wow, it's amazing people believe this_ _ _ _. about islam, when islam actually teaches this - - - -." etc etc...

As for your friends, if they disassociate from you because of your choice of faith, then would you really want to be friends with people like that? Don't allow your heart to hold such fears. If your friends desert you, you will find more friends (muslims and non-muslims) who respect and love you for who you are - not what they want you to be.

When the early muslims took shahadah, they not only put their social acceptance amongst disbelievers on the line, but their lives and physical safety with it too. This is the level of imaan which befits a muslim.


Educate yourself, with the struggles of the early muslims and derive strength from their trials in the hostilities they faced when they reverted. InshaAllah your every struggle with be rewarded by Allah swt. I truly believe that a deep conviction in anything gives us the strength and encouragement to face disapproval from others. At the end the only thing that will matter is that we stuck to the Truth.

Finally, even if your parents react badly, continue to treat them with love and respect. If they don't relent, say it wouldn't be possible for you to stay under the same roof with them for being on your case all the time, but islam teaches you love and respect them regardless of what they're doing. InshaAllah with Allah's help, they will see that their son being a muslim isn't that bad after all.

all the best inshaAllah.

wa alaikum aslam.

[^..sTr!vEr..^]

MashAllah welcome to Islam... :) ..

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[Skillganon]

:w: Walaikum assalam.

Congrat for accepting Islam.
for reverts this obviously may come with some trials one need to overcome. One key is to go to the mosque or get some online prayer material (audio,video, annotated) and learn how to pray at the least. You praying to Allah(s.w.t) who will help you alot.
You will also need to show lot of patience, and when you ready I will advise one to visit a mosque or an reputable Islamic centre for some extra help.
Ovoid any, as sis Angels said, Islam vs Christianity discussion.

I hope that helps

[tomtomsmom]

I am not a muslim but my husband is. When my family found out about him they were very afraid of the relationship because they didn't know anything about Islam except what they saw on tv. At our local mosque there is alot of info about the misunderstandings about Islam. We got them the info and after reading it they realized that what they knew was wrong. Perhaps you can go to your local mosque and see if they have any such books. Also our local mosque offers FREE arabic classes so you might want to check that too.

My young brother, although they may not be happy with your choice, you are still their son. They love you and only want what is best for you. Do not fight with them and be very quick to smother your anger. The more upset you become with them the more upset they will become. Try to remain calm about it. They will have many questions. You know your parents and we do not so you can anticipate the questions they will ask. Think of these before you tell them so you will know the best way to answer them. If they have questions that you can't answer then you can ask the leader at your local mosque to talk to them.
I hope this helps brother and that you can find your way out of this.
Peace

[mariam.]

peace be upon you brother michaelconvert:
MashAllah .. may Allah bless you and make you from his pious servants that he loves them.
thank you tomtomsmom to your advices .. what you said is exactly the right that Allah order us to do
God said in the holy Quran:"And We have enjoined man in respect of his parents, his mother bears him with faintings upon faintings and his weaning takes two years, Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming.
And if they contend with you that you should associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them, and keep company with them in this world kindly, and follow the way of him who turns to Me, then to Me is your return, then will I inform you of what you did."
peace

[sojourner]

Wow, tough situation to be in...and mine is similar which is part of the reason why i have not embraced Islam as of yet. Keep the faith though.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Hey Micheal :),


I think its best that you secretly accept islam as soon as possible, as for your parents keep them in your prayers, hopefully Allaah subhana wa'taa'la will guide them :)

[michaelconvert]

thanks everybody
i'll try to hold off until im 18

im gonna go try to learn my prayers now
salaam

[snakelegs]

you might find this helpful
http://arabic.speak7.com/prayer.htm

[khushnood]

salams!welcome akhee.

[tomtomsmom]

thanks everybody
i'll try to hold off until im 18

im gonna go try to learn my prayers now
salaam

If you want to wait till then, well that is your choice. But I am a parent. If something this big was happening in my sons life and he didn't tell me about it I would be crushed. Every parent is different though and you know yours.
Do you think that if you maybe told your mother should would be more understandin than your father would? Maybe if you do tell her and teach her then when it comes time to tell your father she could help to keep him calm. She could also cover for you if your dad starts asking questions before you are ready to tell him.

[Re.TiReD]

:sl: brother and welcome to the Deen....


By not telling your parents you're not denying Allah...(as you put it), faith starts in the heart, you have to firmly believe in it...and you do by the will of Allah and if you try your utmost best to practise you can't go wrong Insha'Allah. it may be best to wait awhile before telling your parents...

However...I think it will be a blow to them whenever you do decide to tell so the important thing is the WAY in which you tell them...maybe you could introduce books abour Islam to them beforehand or maybe include Islam into the conversation?

may Allah give you the strength to do it when the time is right. Ameen :w: