Unmarried Muslim women

[arabiyyah]

since men can marry jews and christians and 50% of muslims are males 50% female will this not leave many unmarried women since we cannot do the same?

[Nusaybah]

there are not 50% men and 50% women. There are many more women than men and during the end of time there will be 50 times more women than men. Because of this, Allah through His, wisdom, has made it lawful for men to marry up to four wives and has made it lawful for men to marry women from the people of the book.

[deen_2007]

there are not 50% men and 50% women. There are many more women than men and during the end of time there will be 50 times more women than men. Because of this, Allah through His, wisdom, has made it lawful for men to marry up to four wives and has made it lawful for men to marry women from the people of the book.

...which is very amazing....but personally i couldnt see my husband marry another women...i dnt no why........am i wrong in thinking like that?

[Tania]

Other faiths men and even agnostics are converting, so i think this balance somehow the data. :-[

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[Tania]

...which is very amazing....but personally i couldnt see my husband marry another women...i dnt no why........am i wrong in thinking like that?

We had a poll somewhere and except may be upto 10 sisters which liked the idea, the others were completely against it. :) But because you mentioned , whats really upseting when this muslim men are lurking to look after a christian wife, forgeting to tell her they have one already at home. If for muslim is ok to have more wive, for christian is a big sin - adultery - even if they just talk, exchange letters or whatever.

[Jibril]

Muslim men marrying christians and jews is *allowed* however by no means is it encouraged. Let it be known that according to Islam it is more fit that believing men marry believing women. So sisters,..you shouldn't feel like you are in competition with christian women,..if there are sisters available Muslim men shouldn't entertain the thought of marrying Christians in my opinion.

[Dawud_uk]

assalaamu alaykum,

i have never heard of or met a practicing muslim man married to a christian or jewish women in this day and age.

more often than not it is a guy marrying his gf and saying it is ok because she is of the book but forgetting the Quran says that is allowed to marry chaste women of the book and other than hanging around the gates of convent schools where would they be found in this day and age?

but the situation is actually worse for sisters than already mentioned, for a start far more women revert than men... so that unsettles things,

then many brothers have a mother who insisted they get married from 'back home' further cutting down the available brothers,

then men take more risks in life and are more likely to die young either never marrying or leaving widows,

and then sisters practice more than brothers and it is is therefore much more difficult for sisters to marry a practicing good brother.

but sisters dont do themselves any favours by discounting being a 2nd wife, after all surely half a practicing muslim brother is better than all of a fasiq brother or someone who might even be a kaffir because he doesnt pray or pratice islam?

assalaamu alaykum,
Abu Abdullah

[arabiyyah]

Muslim men marrying christians and jews is *allowed* however by no means is it encouraged. Let it be known that according to Islam it is more fit that believing men marry believing women. So sisters,..you shouldn't feel like you are in competition with christian women,..if there are sisters available Muslim men shouldn't entertain the thought of marrying Christians in my opinion.

im already married, but i am saying that the muslim men go nuts for these fair skined christians in the west, when there are good muslim sis's out there.

[Jibril]

im already married, but i am saying that the muslim men go nuts for these fair skined christians in the west, when there are good muslim sis's out there.

I wouldnt say Muslim men,..i'd say arab men. I personally don't like the white girls and i think that muslim girls are way more beautiful. I do like Puerto Rican women though.

[Tania]

im already married, but i am saying that the muslim men go nuts for these fair skined christians in the west, when there are good muslim sis's out there.

I forgot the thread name but i read in one arab country due to the big dowry which is asked by women, the men prefers to go in europe or asia to look after less expensive weddings and dowry.

[Dawud_uk]

I wouldnt say Muslim men,..i'd say arab men. I personally don't like the white girls and i think that muslim girls are way more beautiful. I do like Puerto Rican women though.

assalaamu alaykum,

this is true,

i know from my experiences helping with the new muslim project in sheffield that when there was a new english revert sister we would have to beat the arab brothers off with a stick... well maybe exagerating a bit but almost got to that point.

assalaamu alaykum,
Abu Abdullah

[Snowflake]

Muslim men marrying christians and jews is *allowed* however by no means is it encouraged. Let it be known that according to Islam it is more fit that believing men marry believing women. So sisters,..you shouldn't feel like you are in competition with christian women,..if there are sisters available Muslim men shouldn't entertain the thought of marrying Christians in my opinion.

If a muslim deviates from the Quran he would be kafir. Similarly the christians and Jews have deviated from their scriptures hence they are no longer people of the book but kafirs. Muslims cannot marry them.



O you who believe! when believing women come to you flying, then examine them; Allah knows best their faith; then if you find them to be believing women*, do not send them back to the unbelievers, neither are these (women) lawful for them, nor are those (men) lawful for them, and give them what they have spent; and no blame attaches to you in marrying them when you give them their dowries; and hold not to the ties of marriage of unbelieving women, and ask for what you have spent, and let them ask for what they have spent. That is Allah's judgment; He judges between you, and Allah is Knowing, Wise. S. 60:10 Shakir

* to believe in their scriptures and not deny the Oneness of Allah and Muhammed (PBUH)as the Messenger of Allah.


AND DO NOT many women who ascribe divinity to aught beside God ere they attain to [true] belief: for any believing bondwoman [of God] is certainly better than a woman who ascribes divinity to aught beside God, even though she please you greatly. And do not give your women in marriage to men who ascribe divinity to aught beside God ere they attain to [true] belief: for- any believing bondman [of God] is certainly better than a man who ascribes divinity to aught beside God, even though he please you greatly. [Such as] these invite unto the fire, whereas God invites unto paradise, and unto [the achievement of] forgiveness by His leave; and He makes clear His messages unto mankind, so that they might bear them in mind. Muhammad Asad.


And do not marry the idolatresses until they believe, and certainly a believing maid is better than an idolatress woman, even though she should please you; and do not give (believing women) in marriage to idolaters until they believe, and certainly a believing servant is better than an idolater, even though he should please you; these invite to the fire, and Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will, and makes clear His communications to men, that they may be mindful. S. 2:221 Shakir


:w:

[Jibril]

assalaamu alaykum,

this is true,

i know from my experiences helping with the new muslim project in sheffield that when there was a new english revert sister we would have to beat the arab brothers off with a stick... well maybe exagerating a bit but almost got to that point.

assalaamu alaykum,
Abu Abdullah

I know brother. Here in the states the Arab brothers go wild when it comes to white girls especially Jordanians/Palestinians i notice. They love the blonde hair.

[youngsister]

:sl: I feel sorry for those kind of brothers:w:

[TABS19]

Do Muslim men marry women of "other faith" in hope of guiding another person on the right path and get "swaabh"?

Please correct me if I'm wrong...

[Tania]

:sl: I feel sorry for those kind of brothers:w:

May be they try to give dawah :? I read here in one thread, the effort to bring someone to religion is rewarded

[youngsister]

:sl: I am not talking about those with good intentions I am talking about those who only want to marry reverts, not black or other just white reverts, but thats a whole different debate!:w:

[Umar001]

...which is very amazing....but personally i couldnt see my husband marry another women...i dnt no why........am i wrong in thinking like that?

I think its natural to think like that. Though I dont think natural thinking is always correct lol

[youngsister]

:sl: I agree with Deen, if my husbands marries another woman lets just say I would gain a lot of sins because I be horrible towards him and snappy, the truth is that women are all different some havent got a problem with their husband re-marrying while others do.

1 thing that seriously annoys me is when people try to make you feel bad or guilty for not allowing your future hubby to remarry, they dont even think that maybe the sisters that say No are trying to save themself from sins, from jelousy and so on.

Anyways everyone is different:)
:w:

[Umar001]

:sl: I agree with Deen, if my husbands marries another woman lets just say I would gain a lot of sins because I be horrible towards him and snappy, the truth is that women are all different some havent got a problem with their husband re-marrying while others do.

1 thing that seriously annoys me is when people try to make you feel bad or guilty for not allowing your future hubby to remarry, they dont even think that maybe the sisters that say No are trying to save themself from sins, from jelousy and so on.

Anyways everyone is different:)
:w:

Thats so true. May Allah reward those who struggle to be like the righteous of old.

[Rabi'ya]

:sl:

at the end of the day Allah has allowed men to marry more than once. and as women we should accept that. Also, sisters, remember that the wives of the Prophet (saw) were jealous and were nasty to each other on occasions. We will never be as pious as them but as long as we strive to do our best, what more can be expected of us?

[Al_Imaan]

:sl: I agree with Deen, if my husbands marries another woman lets just say I would gain a lot of sins because I be horrible towards him and snappy, the truth is that women are all different some havent got a problem with their husband re-marrying while others do.

1 thing that seriously annoys me is when people try to make you feel bad or guilty for not allowing your future hubby to remarry, they dont even think that maybe the sisters that say No are trying to save themself from sins, from jelousy and so on.

Anyways everyone is different:)
:w:

this is mostly common with many asians...:rolleyes:...they talk so much about other ppl's business...i with u on this...it annoys me too....i know my family and all the other afghans that we know would talk bad if my future hubby remarries...

[Umar001]

this is mostly common with many asians...:rolleyes:...they talk so much about other ppl's business...i with u on this...it annoys me too....i know my family and all the other afghans that we know would talk bad if my future hubby remarries...

Well thats their problem, if they wanna give their good deeds to others they can.

I just think sisters who are strong enough and mature and controling enough to not let their emotions over ride them should be congratulated and should be praise in a good way.

And I have the upmost respect for them. Because it's not easy. But they do it, and put their faith in Allah for a reward and may Allah grant them that and Allah is the best of those grant reward.

[youngsister]

:sl: I understand iman, true, Rabya yes true nobody is saying that its not right, Subxannallah.

Every muslim woman knows that its allowed and many like myself respect sisters who can share their husbands, but also many wouldnt personally do it, full stop. Trust me jelousy leads to a lot of sins..., if a person strives to be a good muslimah and knows she cant handle her husband remarrying then she can have a say on it.

We have to realise that not everyone is the same so lets stop being so judgemental.
:w:

[Umar001]

:sl: I understand iman, true, Rabya yes true nobody is saying that its not right, Subxannallah.

Every muslim woman knows that its allowed and many like myself respect sisters who can share their husbands, but also many wouldnt personally do it, full stop. Trust me jelousy leads to a lot of sins..., if a person strives to be a good muslimah and knows she cant handle her husband remarrying then she can have a say on it.

We have to realise that not everyone is the same so lets stop being so judgemental.
:w:

Not to contradict you or argue with you but I also think its alot of the Husband's fault now days most men do not help the situation. And I also think it is something to do with the upbringing, and mostly I think it is to do with the fact that SOME sisters if not most do not want it for their own desires, jelousy nad so on can be fought and strived against for something someone wants, but if its something which someone dislikes then its easier to say 'well I'd be jelouse'

NOT THAT ALL SISTERS DO THAT.

[youngsister]

:sl: Jelousy was an example, many that I know dislike it, simple as.:w:

[Al_Imaan]

Well thats their problem, if they wanna give their good deeds to others they can.

I just think sisters who are strong enough and mature and controling enough to not let their emotions over ride them should be congratulated and should be praise in a good way.

^^they dont really realize that all their backbiting is wrong....i just hate that...im afghan too and im thankful to Allah(swt) that He didnt allow those "cultural afghan habits" get to me....and i agree that sisters who are really strong enough....should be praised....it really shows how strong their imaan is...

[Natural]

Well my thoughts are no one can take what Allah has for me. Therefore no matter how often I my see a muslim man try to chase down the Euro standard of beauty, I believe that Allah already has someone picked out for me that will love me for me. And ladies of all ethnicities, think about it, do you really want someone that does not want you, regardless of the reason?

[Ismahaan]

It's true that Arab men love European women, but most men do too actually.
However, in most cases, what is familiar to a person is what is most beautiful to them. Everybody has a personal preference but pale women are internationally recognized as more beautiful than their darker skinned sisters. This colour/race issue is kind of trivial. As one sister already said, there is someone that you're already destined to marry (if you are destined to marry). You're not going to marry all Arab men, or all white men, or all black men or all asian men. You'll marry only one man.

[IceQueen~]

for a man to marry a non muslim woman there are conditions:
1-she should be from the people of the book (jew or christian),

2-she should be virgin and chaste,

3-and there should be a strong chance and intention that she'll become muslim

[Mawaddah]

for a man to marry a non muslim woman there are conditions:
1-she should be from the people of the book (jew or christian),

2-she should be virgin and chaste,

3-and there should be a strong chance and intention that she'll become muslim

:sl:

As for that 2nd condition sis, The term 'virgin' shouldn't really be applied, and only chaste. A woman may have been married before also.

Wallahu A3lam.

[IceQueen~]

that's true

I heard those three conditions from a talk by Khalid Yasin...but he probs said chaste then...