:wasalamex
Thing is, if they don't know about the bad that you done and you think that if they find out things will get worse - then if you backbit about them for example infront of 20 people, then say good about them equally infront of 20 people etc.
Know what i'm saying? Insha'Allaah take the lesser of the two evils and repent, because masha'Allaah one part of the repentance process is to be regretful of what you done, then do good deeds to please Allaah because they remove evil deeds insha'Allaah, and have the intention not to do that sin again.
If you ever slip into it, then do the same - repent, regret, and have the intention not to do it again, and do good deeds sincerely for Allaah's sake. Even if you do this a million times, because if you are sincere, Allaah knows that you did it unintentionally and you will get alot of reward, and gradually hate doing it insha'Allaah.
Make lots of dua' to Allaah to make things easier for you, and so your heart is more towards Allaah. One prayer the Messenger of Allaah would recite is,
Oh Allaah the turner of hearts, turn my heart toward your chosen way of life.
Listen to this insha'Allaah:
Oh Allaah Forgive Me!
Yasir Qadhi
On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) say: Allah the Almighty said:
O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.
It was related by at-Tirmidhi (also by Ahmad ibn Hanbal). Its chain of authorities is sound.
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (PBUH), from among the things he reports from his Lord (mighty and sublime be He), is that he said:
A servant [of Allah's] committed a sin and said: O Allah, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for sins. Do what you wish, for I have forgiven you.
It was related by Muslim (also by al-Bukhari).
Allaah knows best.