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pakcounsellor
02-20-2007, 09:05 AM
SEXUAL ETIQUETIES IN ISLAM

BISMILLAHIR-RAHMANIR-RAHIM

INTRODUCTION

Islam is a complete way of life. Islam provides guidance and regulations for even the private moments of a Muslim’s life. In the collective of Ahadith and Seerah of Rasulullah(Sallallahualay-hi-wassallam) there are numerous incidents and occasions when his companions came forward and enquired from him about matters related to private life and it’s problems. Even the womenfolk from his followers came forward and enquired with regard to matters that are related to marital life and it’s private issues. They did not feel ashamed or shy to learn the truth, nor did our Rasulullah Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam)feel ashamed to expound the truth as the Quran Majeed says: “And Allah (Azza-wa-Jall) does not feel ashamed of the Haqq.” 33/53

It is thus clear that there is nothing wrong in learning or discussing matters related to marriage and sex for the sake of educating ourselves Islamically. Today when the world is realizing the importance of “sex education” in their crude and rude outlook, then why should we as Muslims feel ashamed of reveling Islam’s decent and refined teachings in this field?

Due to constant exposure to pornographic material and other shameless literature, many Muslims have overstepped the limits of Shariah in the fulfillment of their sexual lusts and desires and thus brought upon themselves the harms of this world and the next, particularly in the form of certain deadly diseases, illnesses and infections. Many of them are blissfully unaware that there are any Islamic injunctions in this regard and due to sheer ignorance of Islamic regulations have transgressed the Laws of Shariah, thus causing harm and injury not only to themselves, but even to their partners and their yet unborn off-spring as the pages ahead will reveal.

Thus a need was felt to educate the Muslim public, particularly our younger generation and especially those prospective young couples that are on the threshold of entering into the sacred bond of nikah, in this often-neglected aspect of Islam, in order that their health and marital bond remain intact and protected from all harms and sorrow. It is hoped that every couple and couple-to-be will benefit greatly from this booklet. Insha-Allah.

Finally, a word regarding the material content of this book. The contents of this book have been extracted from authentic sources as the bibliography will reveal, Insha-Allah. The advices and observations on this topic are the result of years of experience, deep in sight and the spiritual foresight of our pious and wise elders, predecessors and Ulema. To cast any aspersions on their words and teachings would be tantamount to doubting their integrity and erudition. None who claims to be a true Muslim has the right to such presumptuousness. If the atheistic western scientists and their worshippers find any of these teachings to be non conformant to their “research and findings”, it is of no significance or concern to us. The “ever changing nature” of own their theories is proof enough of the flimsiness and uncertainty of their teachings, which are nothing but conjectural pastimes as far as we are concerned. The mocking, jeering and sneering of such people should be discarded with the contempt it deserves. The teachings of our great luminaries is and will always remain dear and precious to us. Insha-Allah.

May Allah (Azza-wa-Jall) make their booklet a means of reward and saviour for this humble servant and make it a means of guidance and benefit to His sincere and obedient servants. Aameen.

ETIQUETTES OF THE FIRST NIGHT

In the ideal Islamic situation, the husband and wife will most probably be total strangers to each other, having no kind of personal contact with each other previously due to the strict laws of hijab and pardah in the Shariah. Coupled with this feeling of strangeness are the natural constraints of haya and modesty, that form an integral part of Imaan. Under the particular circumstances it is quite natural that both the husband and wife will be extremely bashful of each other and under considerable strain and anxiety.

In order to “break the ice”, they firstly greet each other with the traditional Islamic greetings of salaam. Thereafter the husband should gently place his right hand on his bride’s forehead and recite

Translation:- “O Allah! I ask you of her goodness, the good within her and the goodness upon which she was created. I seek Your protection from her evil, the evil within her and the evil upon which she was created”.

Thereafter, wudhu and two rakats of salatul-Hajah maybe offered as a token of gratitude and thereby requesting assistance from Allah (Rabbul-Izzrat) for a successful and blessed marriage, pious offspring etc.

Thereafter, they may read some Deeni literature to each other particularly on the topic of Nikah, etc. In this regard Kitabun-Nikah, Hayatul-Muslimeen, etc are excellent material to study. If time and opportunity permits, this booklet should be read from cover to cover once at least on the first night.

One point of great importance that many newly wed, inexperienced men overlook is the importance of extreme gentleness and tenderness on the first night and during the first sexual encounter. Many are under the false notion that gentleness is against “manliness” and the harm and damage that is done to the relationship on the first night due to this foolish notion, has it’s impact on the marriage for months and years to come. During the initial stages of sexual union a virgin generally undergoes considerable anxiety and pain, which results in fear. During such a time the husband must take great care and consideration in his movements and behaviour towards his bride.

One more point of caution to the husband is never to harbour unnecessary suspicions against the wife if for some reason it “appeared” that she was not a virgin. This is a sin. It is forbidden to harbour ill-thoughts about the next Muslim merely on the basis of such conjectures. And worse still is to make her a target of abuse and oppression on this ground. This is Zulm(oppression) and a major sin. There are many reasons a girl could lose her “hymen”, the tissue of virginity-reasons that could be substantiated medically such as heavy flows during menstruation, illness, falling, jumping excessive, horse-riding, certain sporting activities, ageing etc.

TINTENTION FOR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE

Hazrat Ali (Radiallahu Anhum) is reported to have said in his WASA (advices):

“At the time of sexual intercourse, the following intentions should be made:

Protection against zina (adultery)

protection of the gaza from strange women

Attainment of pious and upright progeny who will serve Islam.

When intercourse is enjoyed with the correct intentions, then not only is an act of physical pleasure, but it also becomes an act of reward and Sawab.

In this regard the gist of a Hadith explains that even intercourse with one’s wife is rewardable and regarded as Sadaqah. The Sahaba (Radiyallahu-Anhum) were greatly astounded upon this-that here a man is gratifying his sexual lusts and desires and yet he is being rewarded for it? Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) explained to them that had this man gratified himself in a haram manner he would be punished for it, then why should he not be rewarded for satisfying himself in a Halaal manner? He will certainly be rewarded.

AT THE TIME OF SEEING AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN

At times, the gaze involuntarily falls upon an attractive woman, which causes excitement of the passion. In such circumstances, what should be done? The Hadith provides guidance.

“When women emerge outdoors, they appear in the form of shaitaan, thus if any of you accidentally gaze at her and take fancy to her, he should consort with his wife, for she has the same that the other woman has.”

This will cleanse the heart form evil intentions, ideas and thoughts. At the same time, the fire of passion and desire that was kindled, will be calmed and cooled in a lawful manner.

PREPARATION FOR INTERCOURSE

The Psychological preparation for sexual intercourse is equally important as intercourse itself. Anything that will cause distraction or distaste should be avoided completely. This will turn the opposite partner “off”, with detrimental consequences for the couple as well as their marriage.

Amongst the factors that are a major “turn-off” is dirt, filth, bad, odours and uncivilized behaviour. Particularly a bad odour from the mouth or body is very unpleasant and the habit of smoking can kill passion and desire for the opposite partner altogether. It is of extreme importance that the mouth be clean, especially with smokers, who should take extra precaution in this regard.

It is part of the beautiful habit of our pure and honourable Master, Rasulullah (Sallallahnu-Alayhi-Wasallam), that the used to apply itr (scent) and that he used to perform the miswaak (cleansing of the mouth and teeth) before intercourse. Even in such Minute and apparently insignificant matters, he showed us the path to success and bliss. It will indeed be unfortunate if we do not appreciate and practice his teachings and habits, i.e. the Sunnah.

Ibne-Jauzi (Rahimahumullah) states in Saidul Khatir” that the couple should should fix a certain part of the day or night for intercourse in order that both of them prepare physically and psychologically for time. This will increase and heighten their pleasure. Furthermore, it will eliminate the possibility of any one of them being in an undesirable or unprepared state of mind or body.

It is for this reason that one learned scholar states that a man should inform his wife of his intentions to have sexual relations from the morning in order that both be prepared fully at the appropriate time.

It us for this very reason that Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alay-hi-Wasallah) and the Sahaba-Kiram (Radiyallahu-Anhum) would not enter their homes during the night after returning from along journey. Rather, they would enter only in the morning. The ideal was to give the womenfolk sufficient time to prepare themselves for their husbands. In the words of Rasullallah (Sallallahu-Alay-hi-hi-Wasallah):

In order that the unkempt, disheveled women comb their hair and the unprepared ones shave (shaving of pubes, underarms, etc)”-MISHKAAT

There can be no greater turn-off to a returning husband than to find his wife in an unkempt, untidy condition. It is therefore necessary that he announce his imminent arrival either by way of letter, telephone or a messenger, in order that his wife prepare herself for his arrival.

THE DO’S AND DON’TS OF SEXUAL
RELATIONS-IN BRIEF

DO’S

Wudhu, miswaak and scent

Proper intention

Prepare psychologically

Foreplay

Recite respective duas

Keep in mind correct/preferable times.

Keep in mind correct posture

Afterplay

Urination after intercourse

Cleansing private parts

Fresh bath before next intercourse

Bath as soon as possible

Conceal private affairs

DON’TS

1. Complete nudity

2. Face Qiblah

3. Stand during intercourse

4. Excessive Speech

5. Gaze at private parts

6. On a full stomach

7. With a full bladder

8. On prohibited nights

9. Fantasizing

10. Excessive indulgence

11. Drink water immediately thereafter

12. Anal sex

13. Sex during menstruation

N.B. Each of the above points are now discussed individually for a better insight into each one.

5.1. CLEANLINESS

Islam’s emphasis on cleanliness is a known fact to even little children of good Muslims homes cleanliness is half of Faith (Iman one hadith teaches us).

At the time of sexual intercourse, this aspect of Islam becomes even more emphatic. Physical cleanliness enhances spiritual purity.

Both the partners should preferably be in the state of wuzu.

As mentioned previously under the section on PREPARATION (See Chapter 4), the mouth should be cleansed thoroughly with miswaak or a brush at least. There cannot be a worse turn-off than bad breath and pungent odours. Those habituated to smoking should take extra precautions in this regard. The importance of this can be gauged from the masala of Shariah with regard to a person who has eaten onions or garlic entering the masjid. The Fuqaha (Rahimahumullah)(Jurists) have ruled that it is Prohibited for such a person to enter the majid! Reason: Because it is a cause of Takleef (discomfort) to the fellow-musallis. How important would it then be for husband and wife, who are constantly in each other proximity to maintain proper oral hygiene and not to cause abhorrence to each other by neglecting this important aspect of Taharah and cleanliness! Such neglect could be the cause of serious detriment to the marriage. It is such seemingly “insignificant” matters that become the root to broken homes and other marital discord.

It is also useful to apply it or scent as was the sunnah of our honourable Master Rasulullah (Sallahllahu-Alayhi-Wasallah). This will cause mutual attraction.

2. INTENTION

The importance of a correct intention has been adequately stressed in the section on INTENTION OF SEXUAL INTER-COURSE(See Chapter 3)
To attain rewards for this act, a proper niyyah (intention) should always be formulated.
One saintly person says with regard to himself that he once kissed his wife without making the proper intention (i.e. to please ALLAH(Zzza-wa-Jall) that He had made Halaal). As a result of this, he states that he suffered a setback of one full year in his spiritual progress. This sufficiently expresses the importance of correct intentions in all actions, at all times.

3. PSYCHOLOGICAL PREPARATIONS

This has already been discussed under the section on PREPARATION (See chapter 4). Particularly the advice of Allamah Ibnul-Jauzi (Rahimahumulullah) is important in this regard.

Furthermore, Hazrat Ibnu-Abbas (Radiyallahu-Anhum) says: “I love to adorn myself for women (my wives) as much as I wish them to adorn themselves for me”. Preparation from both the partners.

4. FOREPLAY
Fore play is a vital element of a happy and successful martial life. It should never be neglected. It is absolutely vital that a man arouse his wife sexually via foreplay before indulging in sexual intercourse. It is indeed callous and selfish that he fulfils his desires like an animal while his wife experiences no sensation whatsoever. This is extremely demoralizing for the women and has terrible consequences for the couple and their marriage.
Therefore every couple should take the trouble of exploring those regions of each other’s anatomy that will arouse their desires and heighten their pleasure. These areas are known as the “erogenous zones”. They vary from person to person but are generally concentrated in the upper body are and the below the naval, if stroked tenderly, cause the sexual desires to rise and passions to be kindled.

Even in this regard we find the beautiful teaching of Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) a guidance for us; that in very subtle manner he impressed upon his companions (Radiyallahu-Anhum) importance and necessity of foreplay with the wife. For example:-

It is narrated in the Ahadith that once Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) came to know that Hazrat Jabir “(Radiyallhu-Anhum) had married a widow. He said: “Why did you not marry a virgin whom you could play with and Who would play with you?” BUKHARI, MUSLIM
This is a subtle indication towards love play or foreplay between the couple.
Furthermore, the importance of expressing love and feelings towards each other can be learned from the Ahadith of Rasulullah(Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) that go to this effect that when a husband or wife gaze at each other with love and affection, Allah (Azza-wa-Jall) gazes at them with mercy and kindness. When the husband and wife hold each others hands with love and affection, Allah Ta’ala forgives their sins.
If the wife is breast-feeding, caution should be observed that no milk enters the throat during the course of loveplay. It is Makroohe-Tahrimi for the husband to drink the milk of his wife. If any person, out of ignorance has transgressed this regulation of the Shariah, the only form of expiation is a sincere taubah and repetance. However, this does not affect the bond of nikah as is the misconception of many people.
5. RECITATION OF DUA

For the protection from shaitaan and other harms, it is important to recite the Masnoon Duas at the time of intercourse. In this way the couple and their progeny will be protected from much harm.
The respective duas for this occasion are as follows:-
1. AT THE TIME OF COMMENCING WITH INTERCOURSE:-
TRANSLATION:-
“In the name of Allah, O Allah! Save us from Shaitaan and prevent shaitaan from that which you grant us”.
2. AT THE TIME OF EJACULATION TRANSLATION
“O Allah! Do not grant shaitaan any share of that which you have granted me”.
Note:- 1. At the time of ejaculation, the dua should be recited in the mind only, not verbally.
2. Both husband and wife should recite the dua.

It is reported that if a person does not recite these duas, Shaitaan participates with him in the act of coitus and derives pleasure from his wife.
Not reciting the dua is also a cause for rebellious and disobedient progeny as is observe in our times. Shah Abdul-Haq Dehlawi (Rahimahumullah) states in this regard: “If a prayer like this is not made at the time of coitus and only the sexual urge is fulfilled like the animals; the child that is born out of such a union will not be saved from the evil influence of Shaitaan. This is one of the main reasons that the morals of the present generation are not good.” RIFAATUL-MUSLIMEEN

Another point of significance is the importance of Zikr in the life of a Mumin(Believer). Unlike other religious, Islam regards even mudane activities as acts of worship (Ibadah) and obedience (Ta’aat) if carried out under the regulations of Shariah, with the correct intention and with the Zikr of Allah (Azza-wa-Jall). Thus what would normally be a debased act in other religions, is a noble act of worship and obedience that is rewardable in Islam.

These duas serve to develop Allah-consciousness and piety in a Muslim. It is highly imperative that every couple endeavour to learn, memorise and recite these duas at the appropriate time. A little effort and sacrifice of time is required, but the returns are enormous and far-reaching.

6. CORRECT TIMES

It is important that cohabitation take place at the correct times in order to ensure good health for the couple as well as their child-to-be, Allah willing.

The act of intercourse should ideally take place when there is a state of relaxation and temperamental balance in both husband and wife. Any form of tension or pressure in the form of hunger, thirst, anger, depression- illness, etc. will dampen the pleasure.

Faqih Abdul-Laith Samarqandi (Rahimahumullah) writes in his book BUSTAN that the correct time for intercourse is the latter part of the night because the stomach is full during the early part of the night and intercourse is undesirable on a full stomach. It is thus clear that intercourse is undesirable in the early hours of the night. The same has been recorded in TIBBE-NABAWI.

The author of IHYA observes that it is Makrooh to have sexual relations in the earlier part of the night because the possibility of spending the rest of the night in the state of Janabat(Ritual uncleanliness).
Hazrat Aisha (Radiyallahu-Anhum) reports that it was the noble habit of Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) that after completing the witr Salah at the end of the night, he would consort with his wife if he is desire. If not, he would lay down on the musalla(prayer rug) until Hazrat Bilal (Radiyallahu-Anhum) would call out the Azaan for the Fajr Salah (Morning prayer).
It should be noted that the prohibition of sexual intercourse in the earlier part of the night is merely from a medical and health point of view. It is not a ruling of the Shariah. It is reported that Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) cohabited at various times of the day and night- SHAMIAL-TIRMIZI

For those that find it inconvenient to wait for the end of the night(for whatever reason), a practical solution is to have a light meal early in the evening, perhaps before Maghrib. In this way the Stomach will not be full at the time of cohabitation in the earlier part of the night.

It is the experience of wise men that the result of sexual intercourse on a full-stomach is a dull, backward child. Furthermore, it is even harmful to the health of the male.

PREFERABLE TIMES

As much as it is important to observe the correct times, it is also important to observe the preferable times for intercourse to attain maximum benefit, especially for the child-to-be.

Hazrat Ali (Radiyallahu-Anhum) observes in WSAYA: “The result of conception as a result of copulation;
-On Monday night, is a child that will be a Qari;
-On Tuesday, a generous, big-hearted child;
-On Thursday, an upright, Allah-fearing Aalim or a wise, sagacious child;
-On Friday before Juma, a child born with luck and fortune who will attain martyrdom at death;
-On Friday night, a sincere child-RIFAATUL-MUSLIMEEN
N.B. By night is meant the Islamic night, which precedes the day.

8. PERMISSIBLE POSITIONS

The human body takes on three postures most naturally; i.e. standing, sitting (or squatting) and laying down. As far as the positions of sexual intercourse are concerned, Islam has granted general permission provided that no unnatural act such as anal sex is performed.

How ever from medical point of view, sex in the standing position is undesirable (a complete chapter on this issue further ahead)

Thus two postures remain; the sitting or squatting posture and the sleeping posture. In this regard, there are certain subtle indications in the Quran and Hadith.
For example, in one verse of the Quran, Allah Ta’ala states:-
“It is He who created you from a single person, and made his mate thereof, in order that he may take comfort in her. Then when he covered her, she bore a light burden….”7/189
This is when a women lies in the supine position; while the man’s body lies over her in manner that he covers her body with his.
In the Hadith explaining the manner of ghusal, the following method of sexual union is alluded to:

“….When any of you sits between the four portions of a woman and then exerts himself upon her…..”
There is a difference of opinion as far as the interpretation of “four portions of a woman” is concerned. This seems to refer to the position in which a woman lifts her knees and the man enters her in a sitting/squatting posture, in which instance her thighs and calfs form the “four portions”. And Allah knows best.
Furthermore, any other posture or position, husband and wife desire to choose, is quite in order. Once Hazrat Umar (Radiyallahu-Anhum) had intercourse with his wife through rear entry (not anal entry). Later he was overtaken by the thought that perhaps he had committed an undesirable act. Immediately he rushed off to Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Aalyhi-Wasallam) calling out: “I have destroyed, I have been destroyed….! “He was asked what was the matter, to which he recounted his fear of having committed an undesirable act. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi-Wasallam) remained silent, giving no answer. Some time later, these verses of the Quran were revealed:

“Your wives are a tillage (farm) unto you, thus approach your tillage from wherever you wish”.-2/223.
Thereafter Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) explained the purport of this verse: that intercourse is permissible in any position, from front or rear, so long as anal sex does not place, for that is haram. The example of the Quran for women is that of a farm; which can be approached from any direction, provided the seeds are planted only in the farm and not elsewhere! Similarly any method of approach is permissible, whether husband is on the wife or vice-versa, or whether they are on their sides or from the rear, whether sleeping flat or whether squatting, all positions are permissible, so long as his “seeds” are planted in the “farm” and not else where.
There was a false notion; a baseless superstition that the Jews of Madina entertained as far as rear entry was concerned. According to them, the child born out of such union would be squint eyed. Some Muslims were misled by this myth of the Jews. When the above-mentioned were verse of the Quran was revealed, all such false conceptions were shattered and demolished for once and all.

9.AFTERPLAY

Almost as important as foreplay and the actual act of intercourse, is the termination and conclusion of the act of copulation, which could be termed as “after play”. Many times, it happens that the husband reaches climax earlier than the wife (some women attain climax after quite a while). In such a case the husband should remain in her until she achieves climax and satisfaction. This is absolutely vital and essential for the satisfaction of the wife. Disengaging before the wife achieves climax is cruel and selfish and breeds animosity and contempt in the wife’s heart for her husband.

Furthermore, disengaging immediately after sexual union often gives the woman an impression that the man is only interested in her to gratify his lust and is merely “using” her. This is bound to affect martial harmony.

Hazrat Ali (Radiyallahu-Anhum) says in this regard:
“Await the completion (climax) of the wife before disengaging, otherwise she will become your enemy.” –RIFAATUL-MUSLIMEEN.

10. HEALTH CONSCIOUSNESS

Just as important as cleanliness in before cohabitation, so is it’s importance thereafter. In this regard, a few important guidelines, if practiced diligently, would not only entail cleanliness and purity but also ensure good health and saviour from many disease and illnesses.
The author of SHURATUL-ISLAM states that the male and female should form the habit of passing water after intercourse, else they will fall victim to an un curable and fall to an un curable and fatal disease. The reason and explanation of the above statement in the books of “Tibb” (Islamic Medical Sciences) is that at times a drop or few of semen remains within the canal, which leads too certain ailments. By urination, the canal is cleared of all such drops. A statement of a similar nature is reported from Hazrat Ali RA.

Faqih Abul-Laith Samarqandi(Rahimahumullah) states that after intercourse, the sexual organs should be washed clean as this will ensure good health. However, immediately after copulation, the male should not wash with cold water as this could result in fever. Either Warm water should be used or after an interval, when the body temperature has returned to equilibrium, even cold water could be used.

Further more, Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) taught the Sahaba that they should wash themselves after cohabitation otherwise they might contract a disease that may be difficult to cure.

Immediately after copulation, no liquid should be consumed. This results in the illness of short breath. Therefore copulation should be avoided on a full-stomach. This causes dryness (Khushki) with in the body and results in thirst, whence liquids cannot be resisted, the harm of which has just been explained above.
Thereafter, both husband and wife should wipe themselves dry with a separate cloth. Wiping with the same cloth results in marital conflict and discord-RIFAATUL-MUSLIMEEN on the authority of Hazrat Ali (Radiyallahu-Anhum).

11. CONCEAL PRIVATE MATTERS

A very shameless trend has emerged nowadays where members of both the sex narrate the details of their sexual encounters to friends and associates. This goes totally contrary to the dictates of Haya and modesty; the outstanding branch of Iman. Such action should be shunned totally. This also gives others an opportunity to meddle in the private affairs of the couple. This is an extremely sinful and detestable act in the sight of Allah.

“Amongst the worst of people in Allah’s sight on the day on Qiyamah is that husband who indulges in privacy with his wife and then reveals her to others” MUSLIM

12. MORE THAN ONCE

If the couple wish to engage in sexual intercourse more than once then it is best that they take a bath before the second coitus. If not, then at least to perform wudhu. If not they should at least wash their genitals clean.

It is the experience of the elders that a person who re-engages in sexual intercourse without doing any of the above, the resultant off-spring will be mentally-retarded or will be niggardly in nature.

The author of IHYA emphasizes that the least every couple should do before re-engaging in sexual intercourse is to pass water and wash their genitals clean without this they should not indulge in sex. The result will be harmful and detrimental to them.

13. NUDITY

Total nudity during coition has been prohibited in Islam. Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) has enlikened such an action to that of asses cohaviting in public.

The progeny of such a couple will certainly turn out to be shameless and immoral.

14. FACING QIBLAH

During intercourse, precautions should be taken that the Qiblah is not faced. This is regarded as an act of disrespect (be-adabi) and should therefore be avoided as far as possible.

Similarly, facing the feet in the direction of Qiblah, during intercourse or any other time is an undesirable practice. This should always be borne in mind.

15. INCORRECT POSITIONS

The various permissible positions have been discussed already under the relevant section (chapter 5.0). The standing posture, although permissible, is undesirable for intercourse due to health reasons.

The author of TIBBUN-NABAWI writes that coitus in the standing posture causes the body to become weak. It also causes harm to the nerves and veins. He further writes that coitus on a full-stomach results in dim-witted, dull-minded progeny.

Coitus in the standing position also causes the condition of Ra’sha (perpetual Tremor). This is probably due to damage of the nerves and nervous-system.

16. UNDESIRABLE ACTS

It is undesirable to talk excessively during intercourse. Talk should be limited to bare necessity. Islam advocates dignity even at such occasions. Faqih Abul-Laith Samarqandi writes in his book BUSTAN that excessive speech during coitus could be the cause of dumbness in the off-spring to be. This habit should be shunned.

It is undesirable for both the partners to look at each others genitals. The author of SHRATUL-ISLAM writes that looking (habitually) at the private parts of the woman could result in blind off-spring.

Although it is permissible for the husband and wife to look at every part of each others’ anatomy, it is an undesirable act from the moral point of view. Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) never looked at Hazrat Aisha (Radiyallahnu-Anhum), nor did she look at him (at the private area).

Many of the Ulema are of the opinion that looking at the wife’s gentials causes the eye- sight to weaken.

17.EXCESSIVE SEX

Islam promotes a life of balance and equilibrium. There is no place for extremes in any facets of life. This spirit of moderation permeates every teaching of Islam. Thus even in the issue of sexual relations, moderation would be the ideal recourse from the Islamic point of view.

In this regard, the learned elders advice that the stimulus towards sexual desire should be analysed and scrutinized carefully. If the stimulus is found to be related to an external source such as the sight of an attractive, shapely woman, sexually inciting conversations, pornographic material, etc; then this to be regarded as a false stimulus and should be ignored. This is a case of “artificial” desire. On the other hand, if the stimulus is internal, the passion and desire growing from within, then it should be regarded as a case of genuine desire and hence to be satisfied. A feeling of gratification, fulfillment, satisfaction and serenity will be the result of such a union. Where as coition due to a false stimulus will cause weakness, restlessness and even physical damage to the human body.

Faqih Abul-Laith Samarqandi (Rahimahumullah) reports from Hazrat Ali (Radiyallahu-Anhum) in his BUSTAN that the person that desires to maintain his good health for many years to come should:

Eat in the mornings and evenings only
Abstain from taking loans and debts (as these will cause him much anxiety and worries)
Desist from walking around bare-footed.
Reduce sexual intercourse to bare minimum.
Excessive sexual intercourse results in the condition of premature ejaculation arising, which in turn is the root to man physical, psychological and marital frustrations for both the husband and wife, with far—reaching repercussions. It should be avoided at all costs for a happy and stable marriage.

18. HOW OFTEN?

In the previous chapter, the importance of moderation and the harms of excessive sexual intercourse have been highlighted. The question arises as to what could be termed as moderation and how often should sexual intercourse take place in the ideal marriage?

It is difficult to pronounce a hard and fast rule as far as this question is concerned. The answer will vary from individual to individual, keeping in mind the need of both husband and wife. However a general guideline in this regard should serve as a source of guidance.

According to scholars once a week is acceptable and falls within the ambit of moderation.

Hakeem Jalinoos was once asked by someone how often should a person engage in sexual intercourse. He replied: Once in a lifetime. When he was asked again, he replied: Once every year. Once more he was asked. He replied: Once a month. He was asked for a final time. He replied: Once a Week and a person that goes beyond this doesn’t deserve to be counted amongst the living!(indicating there by that he would be better off dead than alive due to the illnesses and weakness that would make his life miserable).

Hakeem Jalinoos was asked: What is true desire? He replied. When a person cannot differentiate between sky and earth, that is true desire! Inn other words, the desire and urge is very strong and vehement…

Even in the Ahadith there is a subtle indication where regarding Jumma the words: “Ghasala wa wa Ghassala” are used; indicating that where a person takes a bath himself on Fridays, he causes his partner also to take a bath (due to coitus). And Jumma comes once every week, hence coitus aught to take place once a week. And Allah knows best.

19. PROHIBITED TIMES

The author of IHYA states:-
It is Makrooh to indulge in sex during three nights of each month; the first, the last and fifteenth. It is said that Shaitaan is on the prowl on these nights. The undesirability of sex on these nights is narrated from Hazrat Ali, Hazrat Mulawiya and Hazrat Abu Huraiah (Radiyallahu-Anhum).
The author of RIFAATUL-MUSLIMEEN states that in addition to the above; Wednesday nights and the nights of the two Eids must also be avoided. Also the night where after a person intends to go on a journey on the next day should be avoided. Intercourse on these nights may have an undesirable effect on the off-spring.
It is reported in TIBBE-NABAWI that Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) advised Hazrat Ali (Radiyallahu-Anhum) not to cohabit on the fifteenth night as the shayateen appear in large number on this night.
In a footnote of SHAMAIL-TIRMIZI it is stated that if the child is conceived during salah times (When the salah is neglected), the result will be a disobedient child.

20. FANTASIZING

Due to the corrupt and immoral environment most people are living in these days, exposure to all kinds of shameless filth in the form of videos, TV, films, plays, newspapers, magazines and even telephone lines (087..no’s) has become a common trend.

Hence many men and women indulge in fantasizing about others during sexual intercourse with their own partners. This is totally haram and a grave sin in Islam. It ressembles zina and could veritably be termed the zina of the heart or mind!

This point in clearly verified from a Hadith of Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) that reads:” To gaze at a strange (ghair mahram) woman is zina (adultery) of the eyes,

To listen to passion stirring words is zina of the ears,
To converse with a strange woman (and derive pleasure there from) is zina of the tongue, To touch a strange women is zina to the hands,
To walk towards her is zina of the feet,
The heart desires and craves;
The sexual organ then either testifies to these or denies them”. –Muslim

N.B. The “desire and craving of the heart” as mentioned in this Hadith refers to fantasizing.

21. ANAL SEX

Just as sex is prohibited during menstruation, anal sex, even though with one’s own partner is strictly prohibited in the Shariah

This abominable deed has been denounced very emphatically by Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) in various Ahadith.

“The person that has anal sex with his, Allah (Rabbul-Izzat) will not look at him with mercy on the day of Qiyamah.” –Hadith

“The person that has anal sex with his wife is Mal’oon (accursed)”-ABU-DA’UD

Imam Ghazzali (Rahimahumullah) writes in IHYA that anal sex is even worse than sex during menstruation because this filthy act causes undue pain and difficulty to the woman.

Even the male could become victim to various diseases and illnesses, some of them fatal and extremely deadly. Today, medical research has discovered that the greatest risk factor of contracting AIDS-the killer disease of the century-is anal sex; with or without protection! May we be sacrificed upon Allah and his Rasul for protecting our lives and health by strictly prohibiting us from this inhuman act.

22.SEX DURING MENSTRUATION

The Quran has emphatically prohibited sexual intercourse during menstruation:

“Abstain (sexually) from women during menstruation” –2/222

ALLAH (Rabbul-Izzat), the Creator of man, knows best what is beneficial and what is harmful to man. All objects of harm have been forbidden for man because they will cause him difficulty and harship. Sexual intercourse during menstruation falls into thiscategory.

Today, many centuries later, medical science has discovered that the flow of menstruation contains certain toxic matters that could be detrimental if they gain entry into the body of the male or is prevented a clear passage of flow from the body of the female-both of which could easily occur if sexual intercourse takes place during intercourse. It would thus pose a potential threat to both husband and wife. This very act is a major contributing factor towards very painfuland often fatal veneral diseases. In fact, it’s effect is passed on even to the foetus.

PREMATURE EJACULATION

Premature ejaculation is a sexual problem that could adversely affect the marriage. In premature ejaculation, semen is discharged immediately or very shortly after the commencement of sexual activity-within 30 to 60 seconds- whereas the normal period aught to be 2 to 3 minutes.

Due to this condition, the woman remains sexually unsatisfied and this could lead to a problematic marital relationship. Furthermore, it is also a cause of not being able to have children. These have serious implications on the marriage and thus this situation needs to be remedied as swiftly as possible.

There are two fundamental causes to this problematic condition:

Thinness of semen
Weakness of nerves in the private organ; both these conditions can be remedied with suitable and authentic medical treatment.
As for as thinness of semen is concerned, certain suitable foods and vitamins (Refer Chapter 8) should ease the problem. Also excessive sex should most definitely be avoided as this will cause thinness of the semen and weaken the nerves of the private organ which are the primary causes of premature ejaculation and eventually, sexual impotency.

According to Hakeem Razi excessive sex will cause:

Young men to become old.
Old men to “Sleep” forever (i.e. death)
Healthy men to become weak and sick
Weak and Sick men to perish;
Therefore, until a strong, genuine, and persistent urge to indulge in sexual intercourse does not exist, it should be avoided at all costs.

SEXUAL POTENCY
The level of sexual potency varies from nation to nation, individual to individual. There are numerous factors that are influential in this regard. Even geographical and climatic conditions play their role. People of hot and humid areas such as the Arabs tend to have a higher drive than those from cold, wet areas. Some men are extremely virile while others have low libido. The same applies to women. However, on an overall basis, women have a considerably a lower sexual urge than men.

In certain instances when the woman has a higher sexual drive than a man, certain marital and health problems could arise. If this state of affairs is not remedied soon enough, the woman begins to despise and ridicule her husband and may even begin to flirt and incline towards other men, Allah forbid! The man should therefore utilize foods and vitamins that will enhance his flagging libido and hence improve his sexual life. In this way, the marriage will be saved from many calamities.

VITAMINS FOR POTENCY
Our food and diet plays the central role in sexual potency or impotency. Food is digested and converted into healthy or unhealthy blood. This blood then is converted into semen, the lifeblood of man’s sexual activities. It is therefore imperative that such foods be ingested that become a source of healthy blood and semen. Such foods that will grant strength to the body, the mind and the heart after sexual indulgence; because sexual indulgence weakens the human body considerably.

An assortment of various suitable foods for sexual potency are now presented:

GRAINS:-
Wheat
Chana
Peas
Beans
Rice
Sesame seeds (Tal)
GREENS
Onions
Garlic
Bindha
Pumpkin, Gourds
Turnips
Beetroot
Carrots
Potato
Ginger
Coconut
FRUITS
Grapes
Mango
Pomegranate
Bananas
Figs
Apple
Pineapples
Sweet-Melons
Guavas
NUTS AND SNACKS
Cashews
Peanuts
Wall nuts
Chilgoza
Dates
Raisins
Olives
Sultanas
Honey
ANIMALS
All Halaal Birds
Chicks (baby chickens)
Pigeon
Duck
Fish
Red Meats
Liver
DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk
Sour Milk
Yogurt
Butter
Cheese
SPICES
Black pepper
Safron
Elachi
Lawang
Jaifal
Itr (Perfumes)

Hazrat Ali (Radiyallahu-Anhum) reports that once a person complained to Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) that he had no children (probably due to lack of potency). Rasulullah(Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) advised him to eat eggs.

On one occasion Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) complained to Hazrat Jibraeel (Alayhimus-Salaam) replied that he should eat Harisah, for it has the strength of 40 men. Harisah is a kind of thick soup made of crushed wheat, mixed with meat, butter, certain spices, etc.

HARMFUL FOODS
The following foods adversely affect sexual potency:

All sour fruits
Pickles (Achaar)
Chutneys
Amli
Vinegar
Red Chillies
“Hot” Spices
Tea, Coffee, Caffeine Products
Saunf
SEX-RELATED ILLNESSES, HEALTH HAZARDS
AND GENERAL ISSUES
To indulge in any unnatural form of sexual gratification and to prevent the natural flow of semen results in veneral diseases and other related disorders.

Excessive sex, “filthy” literature, pornographic material, “dirty” thoughts, fantasizing, etc. Cause a flow of Mazee (liquish matter preceding semen) to occur. This results in the semen becoming thin, which in turn causes premature ejaculation- a vicious chain-reaction of sexual problems!

Moderate (or bare minimum) sexual indulgence is the key to good health and a happy life.
Sour foods in abundance causes premature ejaculation
Sex during fever causes the fever to become excessive and could result in delirium.

Immediately after sexual activity, partaking place where the sudden appearance of any strange person is very likely, is undesirable and causes weakness to the body and nerves. Besides the harm, no pleasure is derived from such sexual indulgence.
Sex on a full-stomach results in premature ejaculation. Besides this, weakness of stomach, indigestion, swelling of the liver and stomach are some of the resultant problems of the above-mentioned act.

Curbing the urge to urinate and indulging in sex in this condition cause infection and harm to the kidneys, bladder and urinary tract. Similarly to suppress the urge to defaecate and indulge in sex cause piles and other rectal problems. These should be avoided at all costs.

To indulge in sex when the eye is sore results in the swelling and whitening of the eye.

Even when the woman’s eye is sore, sex should be avoided. Hazrat Umma-Salma (Radiyallahu-Anhum reports that if any of the Holy wives’ eyes were sore, Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) would not indulge in intimacy with them until they were cured. JAMI-E-KABEER.

N.B. From this Hadith it is learnt that if the woman is ill or in pain and agony, sexual intercourse should be avoided. Besides further deterioration of her health, it may strain relationships between husband and wife and no pleasure or satisfaction will be derived from such intimacy.

If the woman makes istinja with cold water before sexual intercourse, she will be aroused and climax quicker than normal. On the other hand, the man will slow down and slacken if he makes istinja with cold water. He should thus avoid doing so immediately before sexual relations.

Duties of Husband Wife in Marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question-1: Does cooking, washing and cleaning of a house etc. comes in duties as well?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband`s) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husband’s honor, property, etc.)

The complete, and I repeat complete responsibility of the upkeep and maintenance of the house and the family is the responsibility and duty of the men in Islam. It is the responsibility and duty of the men in Islam to protect and maintain the women, and the heavy and weighty responsibility the Lord has laid upon the women is that they are to remain devoutly obedient to their husbands and guard in their husband’s absence what the Lord would have them guard…ie. their chastity, their husband’s property, his honor, etc.

It is the responsibility of the men in Islam to make sure that food is provided to the womenfolk in their care, that clothing is provided for them, that a place is provided for them to reside in, etc.; thus in essence, the cooking, washing, and cleaning of the house is the duty and responsibility of the men in Islam and not the women.

But if the women, of her own free will and as a gesture of good-will, wishes to cook, wash and clean the house, etc.; it would be amongst the ‘ehsaan’ or something over and above her role and duty that she does, thus the husband should be grateful to her and be appreciative for her help and favor. If the woman does not will to cook, wash and clean, the husband is obliged to either do it himself or provide a servant for this maintenance to be done and performed for the upkeep and maintenance of his house and family.

The Lord Most Gracious has created the woman as a ‘princess’ and made the men as her protectors and maintainers; it is the duty and responsibility of the father to feed, clothe and house her from her birth until she marries; then by her husband until he dies; then by her sons until she dies! Thus from her birth to her death, it is the duty and responsibility of the men to maintain and provide for their womenfolk in Islam.

Your Question-2: If both are working, who is more responsible for children education and their needs?

There is absolutely no harm or restriction if the woman wishes to work, provided all the laws of Shariah are honored. The money she earns from her work belongs to the woman, and she is not required to spend even a cent of her wealth on the upkeep of the house or the family; this is her money and she may do with it whatever she wills and pleases. If she pleases to help her husband with her wealth, it would be over and above the role and duty laid upon her by her Lord; thus the husband should be grateful and appreciative of her.

The complete financial responsibility for the maintenance of the children is upon the shoulders of the husband in Islam alone; but it would be the responsibility of both parents that the emotional and spiritual needs of the children are fulfilled, regardless of whether one or both amongst the parents work.

Your Question-3: Is husband only responsible for earning money?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means.

Although the complete financial responsibility in running the household is the prime duty and responsibility of the husband in Islam, it is also his responsibility to take measures to maintain and protect his family to the absolute best of his ability. Basically the husband is responsible to fulfill every aspect and need of his family in Islam.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:

21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah`s Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Question:-I want to know what is the responsibility and duties of a married women to her Husband`s parents? Is Quran says any thing about this subject? And what is the punishments Allha will give if she fail to do her comitments to her husband and his parents.

Answer:

Duty of wife towards in laws
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their modesty and chastity, the honor and property of their husband, etc.)

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise .’

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

Question: I want to know what is the responsibility and duties of a married women to her Husband`s parents? Is Quran says any thing about this subject?
In light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah, the wife has absolutely no duty and responsibility laid upon her by Islam towards her husband’s family or ‘in-laws’, including the husband’s parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, etc. The responsibility and duty that Islam has laid upon the believing wife is only towards making sure that her husband is pleased and satisfied with her in every aspect of her life!

Thus, in essence, if a believing woman worships Allah Subhanah as He Alone deserves to be worshipped, preserves her chastity, and strives to the best of her ability to please her husband, the Messenger of Allah (saws) declared that she will be given the honor to enter the Eternal Gardens of Paradise by the gates of her choice!

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes."

Having said that she has absolutely no responsibility towards her husband’s family, does not in any way mean or imply that she is allowed to be rude, or disrespectful, or dishonor them in any way. She must at all times strive to develop cordial relations with her in-laws.

But if the believing woman does, of her own free will, serve the parents or family of her husband, she would be doing a deed of ‘ehsaan’, a deed which would be over and above her duties and responsibilities; and Allah Subhanah has time and again declared in the Glorious Quran that He absolutely loves those believers who do ‘ehsaan’ or deeds which are over and above their role of duty and responsibility.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale-Imraan verse 134 (part):

134 …. for Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale-Imraan verse 148:

148 And Allah gave them a reward in this world and the excellent reward of the Hereafter. For Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 195 (part):

195 … and do ‘ehsaan’; for Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 93 (part):

93 ….. For Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Question: And what is the punishments Allha will give if she fail to do her comitments to her husband and his parents.
Islam has not laid any duty and responsibility upon the wife towards her husband’s family, except that she develops cordial and good relations with them. If the believing woman, of her own free will and goodness, does strive to serve them and thus do ‘ehsaan’, she will have a great reward in the Presence of her Lord Most Gracious; and if she chooses not to serve them, there would be no sin upon her.

But if the wife is rude, or is disrespectful, or dishonors the family of her husband in any way, or strives to make her husband break relations with his blood-relatives, she would indeed be accountable for her these evil deeds in the Court of the All-Knowing, All-Just Lord on an Inevitable Day.

Islam has commanded the believing wife to be absolutely and devoutly obedient to her husband in all his lawful demands; so much so that the Messenger of Allah (saws) declared that had it been permissible in Shariah for a human being to bow down in ‘sajdah’ or prostration to another human being, he would have commanded the wife to bow down to her husband!

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.’

Islam guides that just as the keys of the believer’s Paradise is in the absolute obedience and service of his parents, the keys of a believing wife’s Paradise is in the absolute obedience and service of her husband. Under no circumstances should she do (or not do) anything which would cause her husband annoyance or mental torment.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 287 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Whenever a woman causes annoyance and (mental) torture to her husband in this world, his mate from among the houris of Paradise says to her: ‘May Allah ruin thee, do not cause thy husband annoyance, for he is only thy guest, and will soon leave thee to join us in Paradise!’

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
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zaria
02-20-2007, 01:54 PM
21. ANAL SEX

Just as sex is prohibited during menstruation, anal sex, even though with one’s own partner is strictly prohibited in the Shariah

This abominable deed has been denounced very emphatically by Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) in various Ahadith.

“The person that has anal sex with his, Allah (Rabbul-Izzat) will not look at him with mercy on the day of Qiyamah.” –Hadith

“The person that has anal sex with his wife is Mal’oon (accursed)”-ABU-DA’UD

Imam Ghazzali (Rahimahumullah) writes in IHYA that anal sex is even worse than sex during menstruation because this filthy act causes undue pain and difficulty to the woman.

Even the male could become victim to various diseases and illnesses, some of them fatal and extremely deadly. Today, medical research has discovered that the greatest risk factor of contracting AIDS-the killer disease of the century-is anal sex; with or without protection! May we be sacrificed upon Allah and his Rasul for protecting our lives and health by strictly prohibiting us from this inhuman act.
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zaria
02-20-2007, 01:56 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum

Is oral sex Haram?
Reply

Maimunah
02-20-2007, 02:25 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by zaria
As Salaamu Alaikum

Is oral sex Haram?
I think it is but Allahu A'laam:rolleyes:

:w:
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TABS19
02-20-2007, 02:34 PM
OK...what about masturbating...either yourself or performing on your husband/wife
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tomtomsmom
02-20-2007, 06:48 PM
Not meaning to offend but many of those "don'ts" are a little out there....
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Umar001
02-20-2007, 07:03 PM
pakcounsellor - I really advise that your write or pass on articles properly please some of the evidences are lacking!!
format_quote Originally Posted by tomtomsmom
Not meaning to offend but many of those "don'ts" are a little out there....

Well from what I have read of the Original Post it doesnt seem all very concrete. I have never heard some of the stuff.


13. NUDITY

Total nudity during coition has been prohibited in Islam. Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) has enlikened such an action to that of asses cohaviting in public.

The progeny of such a couple will certainly turn out to be shameless and immoral.

14. FACING QIBLAH

During intercourse, precautions should be taken that the Qiblah is not faced. This is regarded as an act of disrespect (be-adabi) and should therefore be avoided as far as possible.

Similarly, facing the feet in the direction of Qiblah, during intercourse or any other time is an undesirable practice. This should always be borne in mind.

15. INCORRECT POSITIONS

The various permissible positions have been discussed already under the relevant section (chapter 5.0). The standing posture, although permissible, is undesirable for intercourse due to health reasons.

The author of TIBBUN-NABAWI writes that coitus in the standing posture causes the body to become weak. It also causes harm to the nerves and veins. He further writes that coitus on a full-stomach results in dim-witted, dull-minded progeny.

Coitus in the standing position also causes the condition of Ra’sha (perpetual Tremor). This is probably due to damage of the nerves and nervous-system.

16. UNDESIRABLE ACTS

It is undesirable to talk excessively during intercourse. Talk should be limited to bare necessity. Islam advocates dignity even at such occasions. Faqih Abul-Laith Samarqandi writes in his book BUSTAN that excessive speech during coitus could be the cause of dumbness in the off-spring to be. This habit should be shunned.

It is undesirable for both the partners to look at each others genitals. The author of SHRATUL-ISLAM writes that looking (habitually) at the private parts of the woman could result in blind off-spring.

Although it is permissible for the husband and wife to look at every part of each others’ anatomy, it is an undesirable act from the moral point of view. Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) never looked at Hazrat Aisha (Radiyallahnu-Anhum), nor did she look at him (at the private area).

Many of the Ulema are of the opinion that looking at the wife’s gentials causes the eye- sight to weaken.
Any proof for those??
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Kittygyal
02-20-2007, 07:37 PM
salamualikum.
erm no for nice is this to be here in puble :huh: anywho erm i haven't heard neither of these stuff ma self pal maybe some evidence && elaboration && whats so not will be nice!
Ma'assalama
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tomtomsmom
02-20-2007, 07:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Kittygyal
salamualikum.
erm no for nice is this to be here in puble :huh: anywho erm i haven't heard neither of these stuff ma self pal maybe some evidence && elaboration && whats so not will be nice!
Ma'assalama
Sorry sis but I can't understand a thing you just said!
Reply

Kittygyal
02-20-2007, 07:42 PM
i said , not very nice is this to be here in public! :uuh:, && i haven't heard some of these stuff either maybe the bro can elaborate on the things init!
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tomtomsmom
02-20-2007, 07:44 PM
Why not nice to be here in public? People need to know these things. That is.....if they are true.
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Kittygyal
02-20-2007, 07:46 PM
well better of elsewhere anywho i dunoo forget whatever
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
02-20-2007, 07:55 PM
^^I think she means cuz its too embarassing and explicit for some people..i know it is :X
Allahu Alam

:sl:
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Kittygyal
02-20-2007, 07:56 PM
yh you tell her cinqo it's true, i am embarssed at it
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Al_Imaan
02-20-2007, 07:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Kittygyal
i said , not very nice is this to be here in public! :uuh:, && i haven't heard some of these stuff either maybe the bro can elaborate on the things init!
i thought so too....it would have been better if it was seperately posted in both the bro and sis section.... this doesnt seem to be a topic that needs to be discussed beyond the sections....and like bro habeshi said....everything on the post should have a proof to it from the Quran/Sunnah.....

format_quote Originally Posted by Tayyaba
^^I think she means cuz its too embarassing and explicit for some people..i know it is :X
Allahu Alam

:sl:
that's wat I mean....:D
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strider
02-20-2007, 07:58 PM
Total nudity during coition has been prohibited in Islam. Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) has enlikened such an action to that of asses cohaviting in public.
That is untrue. Also, you've contradicted yourself by saying:
Although it is permissible for the husband and wife to look at every part of each others’ anatomy, it is an undesirable act from the moral point of view.
Faqih Abul-Laith Samarqandi writes in his book BUSTAN that excessive speech during coitus could be the cause of dumbness in the off-spring to be. This habit should be shunned.

The author of SHRATUL-ISLAM writes that looking (habitually) at the private parts of the woman could result in blind off-spring.
I'm sorry, but how exactly does that make sense? A married couple can seek pleasure from each other in whatever way they choose to do so bar sodomy and anal sex.
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Kittygyal
02-20-2007, 08:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by al_imaan_786
i thought so too....it would have been better if it was seperately posted in both the bro and sis section.... this doesnt seem to be a topic that needs to be discussed beyond the sections....and like bro habeshi said....everything on the post should have a proof to it from the Quran/Sunnah.....



that's wat I mean....:D
salamualikum
EAXCTLY!! so close this thread it's needs to be moved or do whatever, i just can't be bothered explaining nor typing so yh .
Ma'assalama
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Al_Imaan
02-20-2007, 08:05 PM
^^lol...no worries...im here to back ya up....it should be sent out to both sections in my opinion...but after the original poster gets his facts straight....
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Kittygyal
02-20-2007, 08:11 PM
salamualikum.
yap please do stay here fo' me yh can't be asked today. anywho this is false so yh detail FALSE ALERT!!!
Ma'assalama
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strider
02-20-2007, 08:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Kittygyal
salamualikum.
yap please do stay here fo' me yh can't be asked today. anywho this is false so yh detail FALSE ALERT!!!
Ma'assalama
Careful. Not all the information is false.
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Kittygyal
02-20-2007, 08:23 PM
yh i dunno
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Erundur
02-20-2007, 11:26 PM
Looks like someone has some insecurities...
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Umar001
02-20-2007, 11:31 PM
Guys, if you have no comments to make that are beneficial please just leave this, read the info, ask for proof, if someone else has asked then let's leave it and let the brother who originally posted it reply.

It is not a warzone, it is not a I am right your wrong thing, lets be civil.

Maybe it should be in the seperate sections if someone has trouble with it then let them keep away insha'Allah until it is moved :)

Eesa.
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IB-Staff
02-21-2007, 02:46 AM
:sl:

Thread Moved from the Health and Science, therefore contains replies by some sisters.
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Skillganon
02-21-2007, 02:57 AM
Now it is here, the brothers that was shy can post now.
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jzcasejz
02-21-2007, 08:08 AM
^^ Lol!!!
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Muslim Knight
02-21-2007, 09:19 AM
Lol. This thread should be a complete Muezzin-deterrent. He hates marriage threads!
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Muezzin
02-21-2007, 09:23 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim Knight
Lol. This thread should be a complete Muezzin-deterrent. He hates marriage threads!
Plus, threads like this one make me question whether or not this is indeed a family forum, as opposed to a baby-making forum. Have some decorum in the forum people.
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aamirsaab
02-21-2007, 10:22 AM
:sl:
The author of SHRATUL-ISLAM writes that looking (habitually) at the private parts of the woman could result in blind off-spring
Totally absurd. Where on earth do they get this stuff?
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AnonymousPoster
02-21-2007, 10:49 PM
Urm...Hmm.....Urrmmmm............................

I'm really confused...intercourse while not looking at the wife's private parts.....................Urmmmm......is that even possible? :confused:
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Erundur
02-21-2007, 10:52 PM
why is that even a question?
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AnonymousPoster
02-21-2007, 10:58 PM
The article says that you're not allowed to expose your nudity during intercourse...How bizzare! Isn't that what marriage legalises in Islam? The ability to expose?

Am I making any sense here? if not then ignore me.
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afriend
02-21-2007, 11:31 PM
:uuh:

okay...this is all a load of :rollseyes

This is what you're looking for:

http://www.islam-qa.com/special/inde...bsite=1&ln=eng
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Erundur
02-22-2007, 12:20 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
The article says that you're not allowed to expose your nudity during intercourse...How bizzare! Isn't that what marriage legalises in Islam? The ability to expose?

Am I making any sense here? if not then ignore me.
You are. Heck even the post by sister strider backs up the claim.



Weird article. :uuh:
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Skywalker
02-24-2007, 09:28 PM
Um, I think some of those "don'ts" are not very authentic... because they lack some common sense... but to be fair, the article is very informative and I found out some interesting stuff while reading it that I didn't know about before.

But anyways...
Is oral sex Haram?
I heard this on TV... they had a Q&A program a while back and the sheikh was complaining about how he's getting too many emails asking about things related to sex. ;D So anyways, he said this quite openly: anything goes as long as it's not anal or during the woman's menstruation period. I think that should answer a lot of people's questions...

:w:

btw...I'm quite surprised that this wasn't put in the brothers' section right away instead of giving the 2 sexes a chance to interact on this subject... although some of us may like it, it's wrong, and we should be careful that something like that doesn't happen in the future.
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jzcasejz
02-24-2007, 09:30 PM
Edit
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chacha_jalebi
02-24-2007, 10:03 PM
i think mods should edit this thread cos the 1st thread is propa in accurate and it may lead people into believin it true :D so please edittt the parts that aint accurate
Reply

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