A little advice from a Muslim sister to another Muslim

[anonymous]

:sl:

A year ago I made a mistake. A big mistake which weirdly I don't regret but I also do. I regret it because I went against the teachings of Islam and was quite close to a guy. We weren't a couple but just really close, near enough to a couple. So, anyways, that's why I do regret it but the reason I don't is because it taught me a lesson. A lesson never to be forgotten. It made me realise how useless relationships before marriage are and how it completely shatters you. If you're a sensitive person like I am and you have been through what I have been through then you'll know what I mean.

The reason I'm writing this is because I don't want my Muslim brothers and sisters to become as heartbroken as I am/was. Relationships before marriage are a waste of time, there is no importance because your relationship isn't going to successful because you're doing it the haram way. If your like me, you'll remember this guy your whole life because he scarred you real bad, he said things that touched your heart and you know that one day it's all going to be a memory and you're going to reminisce and burst out into tears.

So why do people have relationships? There are loads of reasons, having someone to talk to and be there for you - well why has Allah blessed us with friends? Getting cheap presents on Valentines Day - firstly Valentines Day is not an Islamic celebration, and again why need a boyfriend to give you presents when you've got friends to? Peer pressure - Well I'm sorry but if you're friends are encouraging you to get a man then obviously they're not good Islamic friends are they now?

There are millions other silly reasons which people come up with but trust me, in the end you'll gain nothing but memories and you'll end up heartbroken.

So think now, what is the benefit of having a guy in your life? Don't think about today, but think about tomorrow, what are you going to answer when Allah asks you why you did it? What will you say to your creator? That you're sorry and it was due to blah blah blah? Nah, it won't work trust me, think now, and stop brothers and sisters. Fear Allah.

I am saying this from my own experience, and I would hate, I mean HATE it if someone goes through what I been/going through but InshahAllah we'll get through.

:w:

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^^Your right sis, 100 %.
I know what you mean.

[strider]

I slightly object to you generally referring to such relationships as being 'useless'. Yes, it is wrong to engage oneself in a relationship outside marriage, but some relationships are genuine. It might not have worked out for you but that doesn't necessarily mean to say all such relationships are fakes and will not work out.

Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) is reported to have said (paraphrased): the best thing for two people who love each other, is marriage .

[youngsister]

:sl: Sister that was a beautiful advice, Satan will try to trick us in anyway he can, `Hes just a friend, whats the harm?`

Then it will develop to a relationship, Subxannallah!

Best thing to do is NOT TO FREEMIX!
Trust me thats where it all begins!

Jazakallah khair sis May Allah swt reward you.:)
:w:

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[MusLiM 4 LiFe]

yehhh i gets u ^^

but anon wikid post mannnn.. sooo tru aswel :D:D

[youngsister]

:sl: Just because the relationship was geniunine it doesnt make it halal.

Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh), by way of warning and as a reminder said: " I have not left a fitnah (trial, calamity or cause for calamity) after me more than (the fitnah) with women for men" (Bukhari and Muslim). :w:

[strider]

:sl: Just because the relationship was geniunine it doesnt make it halal.

Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh), by way of warning and as a reminder said: " I have not left a fitnah (trial, calamity or cause for calamity) after me more than (the fitnah) with women for men" (Bukhari and Muslim). :w:

Read my point again. I already pointed that out.:)

[youngsister]

:sl: I just wanted to quote that hadith.

Yes, it is wrong to engage oneself in a relationship outside marriage, but some relationships are genuine. It might not have worked out for you but that doesn't necessarily mean to say all such relationships are fakes and will not work out.

^Sis are you talking about haram relationships here?
:confused::w:

[strider]

Please read:

Sis are you talking about haram relationships here?

Yes, it is wrong to engage oneself in a relationship outside marriage, but some relationships are genuine. It might not have worked out for you but that doesn't necessarily mean to say all such relationships are fakes and will not work out.

:)

[youngsister]

:sl:

but some relationships are genuine. It might not have worked out for you but that doesn't necessarily mean to say all such relationships are fakes and will not work out.

^This bit confused me a bit, But i guess you are talking about people that are married.
:)
:w:

[MusLiM 4 LiFe]

i fink da sis it tryna say some relationships last and end up in marriage and othaz dont?

[strider]

i fink da sis it tryna say some relationships last and end up in marriage and othaz dont?

Correcto.:thumbs_up

I think the original poster has made a valid point overall, but i think it is rather generalised and judgemental of her to pass comment on all such relationships just because the one she found herself in didn't work out. That is not to say i am condoning the relationships because i am not. :D

[youngsister]

:sl: Yep some do last and end up in marriage, all I am saying is that is best for us not to even get involved in relationships, its not worth it, even if they last and end up in marriage it still was haram.

But I do understand what you saying:w:

[Um_ahmad]

Thanks for ur story sis.

[Malaikah]

:sl:

Jazakillah khayr sis for sharing. :) May Allah swt give you peace and accept your repentance.

I slightly object to you generally referring to such relationships as being 'useless'. Yes, it is wrong to engage oneself in a relationship outside marriage, but some relationships are genuine. It might not have worked out for you but that doesn't necessarily mean to say all such relationships are fakes and will not work out.

No, I think she is right. That fact that they are haram is what makes them 100% useless, whether they end in marriage or not.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^^Yea I agree.
Sure it may work out, but the whole point is that its haram from the get-go. So in other words, it is useless.

[Muslim Woman]

I seek refuge in Allah (The One God) from the Satan (devil) the cursed, the rejected

With the name of ALLAH (swt) -The Bestower Of Unlimited Mercy, The Continously Merciful


Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh (May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you)



&&&

:sl:

A year ago I made a mistake. A big mistake which weirdly I don't regret but I also do. ...

&&


Jazak Allah for sharing .

It's unfortunate that many if not most Muslim parents are not conscious about hijab ( it does not only mean just to put a scarf on head ) .

To prove that they are not conservative , they send kids to co-ed instituitions , allow to have friends from opposite sex etc. Unwillingly many religious persons are becoming victims of the so-called modern values.

Now a days , when so many temptations are around , it's very imp that we become conscious about the bad effects of free mixing in the society. Allah does not allow it , it should come in to our minds first.

It's becoming hard to attend any invitation now. No seperate sitting arrangement for men & women , sit together , eat together ....i find these very disturbing :enough!:


When i try not to accept invitation , people love to remind me how it's a Sunnah to accept the invitation . Many times , people literally force me to go to picnic & other places .:cry:


Sis , it's good to see that u learnt from ur mistake. May Allah accept ur repentance , Ameen.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^^Ameen.

[MusLiM 4 LiFe]

ameen

[Snowflake]

I slightly object to you generally referring to such relationships as being 'useless'. Yes, it is wrong to engage oneself in a relationship outside marriage, but some relationships are genuine. It might not have worked out for you but that doesn't necessarily mean to say all such relationships are fakes and will not work out.

Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) is reported to have said (paraphrased): the best thing for two people who love each other, is marriage .

I think what Strider sis is saying is that it's not haram to love someone, but haram for that love to develope into a relationship - so if two people love each other they should get married. :D

correcto? :-[

[edil]

Jizaka'alah khayr sister for the dearly advice we really appreciate it and may allah forgive our sins concealed and revealed and I hope the best for all of us.

[Shafina]

Hi sis,
I know how u would feel as i have also experienced the same kind of problem. What i can say is that think it in this way. Allah swt has removed something which is bad from you and move on. Follow the straight path. Remember this that Allah will never give up on us. Be patient and insyallah he will show you the some whom he has destined you with.

[Irfan's Wife]

I slightly object to you generally referring to such relationships as being 'useless'. Yes, it is wrong to engage oneself in a relationship outside marriage, but some relationships are genuine. It might not have worked out for you but that doesn't necessarily mean to say all such relationships are fakes and will not work out.

[S]Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) is reported to have said (paraphrased): the best thing for two people who love each other, is marriage .

[/S]


:) Mashallah

[Tanya Khan]

:sl:

A year ago I made a mistake. A big mistake which weirdly I don't regret but I also do. I regret it because I went against the teachings of Islam and was quite close to a guy. We weren't a couple but just really close, near enough to a couple. So, anyways, that's why I do regret it but the reason I don't is because it taught me a lesson. A lesson never to be forgotten. It made me realise how useless relationships before marriage are and how it completely shatters you. If you're a sensitive person like I am and you have been through what I have been through then you'll know what I mean.

The reason I'm writing this is because I don't want my Muslim brothers and sisters to become as heartbroken as I am/was. Relationships before marriage are a waste of time, there is no importance because your relationship isn't going to successful because you're doing it the haram way. If your like me, you'll remember this guy your whole life because he scarred you real bad, he said things that touched your heart and you know that one day it's all going to be a memory and you're going to reminisce and burst out into tears.

So why do people have relationships? There are loads of reasons, having someone to talk to and be there for you - well why has Allah blessed us with friends? Getting cheap presents on Valentines Day - firstly Valentines Day is not an Islamic celebration, and again why need a boyfriend to give you presents when you've got friends to? Peer pressure - Well I'm sorry but if you're friends are encouraging you to get a man then obviously they're not good Islamic friends are they now?

There are millions other silly reasons which people come up with but trust me, in the end you'll gain nothing but memories and you'll end up heartbroken.

So think now, what is the benefit of having a guy in your life? Don't think about today, but think about tomorrow, what are you going to answer when Allah asks you why you did it? What will you say to your creator? That you're sorry and it was due to blah blah blah? Nah, it won't work trust me, think now, and stop brothers and sisters. Fear Allah.

I am saying this from my own experience, and I would hate, I mean HATE it if someone goes through what I been/going through but InshahAllah we'll get through.

:w:

You have probably been hurt very badly, but all i'm gona say is that it can never have been as bad as the pain and torture i've been going through. At least you had the sense to realise it was haram. I don't have any sense to even realise that, my brain stopped working the moment I set eyes on my ex and now i'm facing the consequences. :cry:
Nothing has got better for me, only worse.

[AnonymousPoster]

:salamext:

well i been thru it, and im a bro and i dont think i need to say how bad it was :exhausted but TRUST ME, (it took me a year *i kno pathetic*) but an event took place which smaked me to reality and i realised that It was ALL an ILLUSION from SHAYTAAN (cursed thing), after that every time i thought of the girl i just kept thinkin "WHAT WAS I THINKING????", and now its like "subhanAllah" seriously that girl is OUT, and the love of Allah is IN!


Perhaps the thing which helped me most is the dua':

"Ya Allah , if she is good for me allow me to marry her and if she is bad for me take out the feeling and truelly in your control is every heart"

its something i use to cry out...

I hope this comforts some brothers and sisters inshaAllah.

[AnonymousPoster]

I can see what you sayin sis, cuz i've been through this myself. We were so close that sometimes it made me feel like maybe he is the one i am meant to marry. I never knew where i stand for him in his life, so one day i decided to talk it over, because i didn't want a relationship with no proper means, and when i found out that this was not going to be more than those short term relationships, i decided to call it a day.

i don't really know wether he liked it or not because we hardly speak to each other now, but in my heart i feel what i did to end it was for the right reasons.:cry:

Trust me if you cannot see your relationship going anywhere and if you know that you will linger on as gf/bf and not move on to the next level of commitment, it's not worth it. Save yourself from the illusion of commitment.:blind: