Originally Posted by Al-arabi
i was thinking about that. when she was older they used to race each other on horses at night :) you make an important distinction between mature romantic affection and silly or unadult romantic affection. i am very irritated when i see people in public doing things like inappropriate public displays of affection... like the kind that belongs in a bedroom, or when people just act silly, foolish and impolite to the people around them. there is also a problem of people not understanding what needs to be kept in private and what can be brought into public.
not that i am against displaying love in public, i kiss my husband and hug him when i see him at the airport or when we go out we hold hands... or he will smile at me and try to make me laugh, but not with dirty jokes or things like this. people can easily tell we love each other, but i don't think they feel awkward or out of place or like they should leave. this is so with many couples, it is nice to be around them because you can feel how much they love each other, but they are not doing anything disgusting or wrong for public.
i think even privately there are boundaries... not everything in private has to be about sex. your prophet raced his wife on horses at night, that is very romantic and it shows that he loved her for more than just her body. if you love someone then you try to connect with them in all ways... through their interests, appeal to their intelligence, grow together religiously. and you can develop things just between the two of you. when my husband has a difficult day i put his head on my lap and sing him to sleep, i am also teaching him how to dance (slowly, because he is awkward and awful) but he loves these things because he knows i love them. likewise i go to all of his car races and i go up with him in his airplane or on his sailboat and i enjoy being with him while he enjoys these things.
and even more privately (and i will not go beyond this for modesty's sake) i know muslims have boundaries for what happens between a husband and wife in their most intimate moments... things that they may do and may not do to preserve what should be a sacred gift and not a dirty involuntary act. much like the catholic church islam tried to hold on to the important nature of what God intended, procreation and unity... not lust and control. this also is adult love.
respect, observing boundaries, showing restraint
, supporting and encouraging the entire person in a way that makes other people feel good and clean about your love for each other, and makes the two of you feel fulfilled in each other - that is adult romance in my opinion... and is something that builds a more lasting foundation for a marriage :)
que Dios te bendiga