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samah12
03-25-2007, 10:05 PM
As a new member I have spent much time reading through old threads and something that seems to jump out at me is the difference between the female and male responses. Women appear to discuss, then leave a thread when it becomes aggresive, whereas men 'go at it tooth and nail'. Are men naturally aggresive?
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noodles
03-25-2007, 10:20 PM
Yes! I'd say definitely so.

Why? because men are men, they do not have the capability to accept what others tell them and they certainly don't want to be tromped over by others.

I'd say its because most men are too proud. They have their honor and it is just natural for them to not dismiss a remark made by someone else.

If we look at the Prophet's life, we see many characteristics present in him that much so resemble how females are today. However that is not to say that he was 'female', All I'm saying is that men, over the centuries, have once again hardened themselves through these so called arguments that never end up going anywhere.

I do believe that I've learned more from many females on this forum than males. Am I aggressive? most likely not. People provoke me, yet I just ignore because most likely they do not have full knowledge of the subject. Some times I stand up for myself, if it does fail, I just go on with my life.
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samah12
03-25-2007, 10:33 PM
Hee hee, that is so funny you say you are not aggresive and your screen name is Alpha Dude!!!!!

Thank you noodles, I have been on just one thread so far and have already been told I am ignorant, etc, etc just because I don't want to bomb people. Think I will take a leaf out of your book and just walk away from such things.
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pearlfaith
03-25-2007, 10:39 PM
yikes..men? well agression is their 2nd name...and sis ignoranc is of those who say that you are wen they fail 2 notice their own. lol ooops ive just contadicted myself here.well u get th point ryt?

but then theres the cliche of women being over emotional...how can u be ove emtional?
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jzcasejz
03-25-2007, 10:42 PM
They May Seem Aggresive..But Deep Inside They're All --> :statisfie
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samah12
03-25-2007, 10:52 PM
Okay I will admit to being over emotional sometimes but I would rather that than be so aggresive all the time. Perhaps it's true, men are from mars and women are from venus!!!
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noodles
03-25-2007, 10:56 PM
^ and they met on Earth and started reproducing ;D

The result?

Over-Aggressive and Over-Emotive children
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samah12
03-25-2007, 11:23 PM
Love your sense of humour noodles. LMAO
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AvarAllahNoor
03-25-2007, 11:25 PM
You've not met ''Purestambrosial'' she's female and aggressive... :p
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AvarAllahNoor
03-25-2007, 11:26 PM
I'm a gentle soul moi....
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Yanal
03-25-2007, 11:36 PM
same i am a peaceful soul that only goes on muslims forums and msn lol thats how i am peaceful
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deen_2007
03-26-2007, 12:00 AM
Originally Posted by samah12
Are men naturally aggresive?
salam sister...well....

Scientifically...Men are more aggressive then Women due to difference in the hormones. thats what make them more aggressive than US women. :scared:


Culturally...Men tend to be more aggressive then women generally....because the cultural upbringing and norm & values brings them up to be ..that little tougher :rollseyes ...therefore...they take that step forward & act all tough! ^o)

Islamically...Men & women should be equal ; mood wise. :peace: But sadly due to the above 'facts'...men tend to be slightly more aggressive then women! :( but alhamdullilah that should change soon. :p

Realistically speaking....men tend to show they are more tough and agressive then Women! ^o) ....but when it comes to real stuff...we women are more tough then them! :shade: not agressive tough :p
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samah12
03-26-2007, 12:33 AM
I wonder if there is a scientific way to remove mens aggresive hormones at birth? lol

As for Islamically, my husband is arabic and whenever we have a 'discussion' about west/m.east issues I think he is going to burst into flames, talk about aggresive. Of course this just makes me laugh which makes him more angry. lol

We have to be tougher than men, they are dying if they get a cold, imagine if they had to have a baby!!!!
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deen_2007
03-26-2007, 12:39 AM
Originally Posted by samah12

I wonder if there is a scientific way to remove mens aggresive hormones at birth? lol
oh no sister! that wouldnt be a good idea! :eek: ...because this hormone doesn't just account for their behaviour! it also accounts for their physical appereance, physical ability, voice, musculinity...etc...can you imagine them without that? :giggling:

Originally Posted by samah12
We have to be tougher than men, they are dying if they get a cold, imagine if they had to have a baby!!!!
see sis! thats proves their all fluff inside while they act tough outside! ;D
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noodles
03-26-2007, 12:39 AM
Originally Posted by samah12
I wonder if there is a scientific way to remove mens aggresive hormones at birth? lol

As for Islamically, my husband is arabic and whenever we have a 'discussion' about west/m.east issues I think he is going to burst into flames, talk about aggresive. Of course this just makes me laugh which makes him more angry. lol

We have to be tougher than men, they are dying if they get a cold, imagine if they had to have a baby!!!!
This is why I thank Allah every day that he brought me into this world as a male :statisfie
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deen_2007
03-26-2007, 12:42 AM
Originally Posted by noodles
This is why I thank Allah every day that he brought me into this world as a male :statisfie
oh....some1s admitting they wouldnt be able to cope! :X wel do u no why im happy allah made me a female? because 'that' pain we go through washes our sin away...lovely aint it?:D so the pains worthit in other words
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Darkseid
03-26-2007, 12:49 AM
Originally Posted by samah12
As a new member I have spent much time reading through old threads and something that seems to jump out at me is the difference between the female and male responses. Women appear to discuss, then leave a thread when it becomes aggresive, whereas men 'go at it tooth and nail'. Are men naturally aggresive?
Men tend to be more obsessed rather than aggressive. The aggressive part comes from how they are raised rather that by their genes.

And a man can show obsession by talking endlessly rather than by demonstrating aggression.

However men are less likely to have a grudge and therefore any aggression they do show isn't likely to be permanent. But it is likely to be instant. But this factor can be found on some women as well.

So not everthing is a specific rule between the genders. It is really a general rule.
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samah12
03-26-2007, 12:50 AM
I bow to your better judgement sister, I don't think I would like my husband to become all girly overnight, I will just have to put up with his aggressive style of discussing. It would be a boring world if we were all the same.

LOL I love the fluff comment, think I'll show that to the hubby!!
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AvarAllahNoor
03-26-2007, 12:54 AM
Originally Posted by deen_2007
see sis! thats proves their all fluff inside while they act tough outside! ;D
lol - Makes me sound like a teddy bear.:raging:
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deen_2007
03-26-2007, 12:56 AM
:D
Originally Posted by AvarAllahNoor
lol - Makes me sound like a teddy bear.:raging:
correct,,,,,only difference teddybears dnt pretend to be tough:D
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samah12
03-26-2007, 01:05 AM
Originally Posted by Darkseid
Men tend to be more obsessed rather than aggressive. The aggressive part comes from how they are raised rather that by their genes.

And a man can show obsession by talking endlessly rather than by demonstrating aggression.

However men are less likely to have a grudge and therefore any aggression they do show isn't likely to be permanent. But it is likely to be instant. But this factor can be found on some women as well.

So not everthing is a specific rule between the genders. It is really a general rule.
I was speaking generally (have been known to be a little aggressive myself sometimes but don't tell anyone, they may not notice lol) but some of the comments on this site get really aggresive rather than obsessive and at that point the ladies seem to leave the discussion.

Perhaps this is why we have so much misunderstanding between our various countries? Surely better understanding can only come from opening your mind and accepting the other person has a point of view even if you don't agree with it, rather than simply arguing your point over and over again.
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samah12
03-26-2007, 01:07 AM
Originally Posted by deen_2007
:D

correct,,,,,only difference teddybears dnt pretend to be tough:D
My teddy bear pretends to be tough (wears army clothes) but he's male so what can you expect. :D
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deen_2007
03-26-2007, 01:11 AM
Originally Posted by samah12
My teddy bear pretends to be tough (wears army clothes) but he's male so what can you expect. :D
has he punched you yet? :eek: :nervous: ....or has he gone on & on & on ...(like men)...^o) ...(no?)...then dnt worry ur bear isnt as aggressive as men make out to be ! :okay:
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AvarAllahNoor
03-26-2007, 01:15 AM
Oh dear this seems to be s sisters anti men thread...

*Leaves sulking*
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deen_2007
03-26-2007, 01:20 AM
no dnt...u can carry on wiv it....wer only discussing! look i compared u's to a teddybear!!! wat more do u want? lol......chill...
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noodles
03-26-2007, 01:21 AM
Originally Posted by deen_2007
has he punched you yet? :eek: :nervous: ....or has he gone on & on & on ...(like men)...^o) ...(no?)...then dnt worry ur bear isnt as aggressive as men make out to be ! :okay:
You know, I must say that isn't entirely true.

I find that people usually talk excessively about subjects they are very passionate about. For example, I'm very passionate about physics (the theory side) and I can go on for hours discussing and inventing ways to resolve certain problems, however, when it comes to arts, I fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

Similarly, my sister takes a wide interest in biology and just hearing her talk makes me very sleepy. I've noticed this trait in many people.

Therefore, the conclusion that you make about men doing an excessive amount of chatter is untrue.
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deen_2007
03-26-2007, 01:23 AM
Originally Posted by noodles
You know, I must say that isn't entirely true.

I find that people usually talk excessively about subjects they are very passionate about. For example, I'm very passionate about physics (the theory side) and I can go on for hours discussing and inventing ways of resolve certain problems, however, when it comes to arts, I fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

Similarly, my sister takes a wide interest in biology and just hearing her talk makes me very sleepy. I've noticed this trait in many people.

Therefore, the conclusion that you make about men doing an excessive amount of chatter is untrue.
parhaps....i was only joking. . . . if anything i'll admit women talk more then men. :-[
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AvarAllahNoor
03-26-2007, 01:25 AM
Originally Posted by noodles

Therefore, the conclusion that you make about men doing an excessive amount of chatter is untrue.
I must put my hand up to this one. I can yak for the whole of England. My friends think I'm always on msn, and chatting, but, I'm a 100 times worse verbally. So maybe I'm an exception to te rule eh....
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noodles
03-26-2007, 01:27 AM
I was being general :D
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AvarAllahNoor
03-26-2007, 01:27 AM
Originally Posted by deen_2007
parhaps....i was only joking. . . . if anything i'll admit women talk more then men. :-[
You're not wrong. A woman in our office all she does is talk talk and talk. She never listens. I do talk, but I listen too. It's not all about me you know sadly.... :p
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deen_2007
03-26-2007, 01:35 AM
^^^hmmmm...women let things out by talking i think...well...isnt it better talking a lot in certain situations. i mean a problem arises between a wife & a husband ...the women tend to want to talk to sort it out...but men dnt! and that creates more problems...aggression can come into it to in certain situations...i personally think when needed...a lot of talikng is needed...steam is let out slowly in that way...when u dnt talk to sort it out...it can blow in ur face then.

LOL...ive said too much now...well only cos i study relationship a lot...
:giggling: :-[
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AvarAllahNoor
03-26-2007, 01:39 AM
^^^ Todays society men do tend to talk quite a bit. They don't feel they need to keep everything inside. The new generation is different in many aspects, even seen as ''weak'' by those of the elder generation as they would have had the ''Stiff Upper Lip'' mentality. It don't sit well or right these days.

Best to talk and get it off your chest I say!
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deen_2007
03-26-2007, 01:45 AM
^^ yep thats my point. its good things r changing then...but we wnt see it too soon
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samah12
03-26-2007, 01:53 AM
I certainly wasn't trying to start a hate men thread. I love to discuss (or I wouldn't have joined a discussion forum) but since I moved to the middle east my attitudes have changed so much and only because I discuss, open my mind and listen. I just get so frustrated when a discussion turns into an argument, people shut off their mind and say I am right and you are wrong, or call you ignorant. Just because I don't agree with a person doesn't make me ignorant. I am happy to be told I am wrong about something and i will listen to the other persons view but I may not agree with it or change or mind, then again maybe I will change my mind - but not if they call me ignorant.
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deen_2007
03-26-2007, 02:01 AM
^^ aww....sis....well dnt worry this hasnt turned into a arguementative thread...i think the brothers will agree some jokes wer said....wel anyway hope they do.

regarding how ur being treated,, well sister...sometimes we come accross a lot of males that act aggressive...but we have to keep in mine...not all men are aggressive. infact some are the opposite. but sadly...they now have a stereotype attached worldwide

...mainly due to cultural upbringing. well as some brothers also said....we sisters also have now started to defend our selves..like u r..but that dsnt make us aggressive...& that certainly dsnt give any1 the right to call us ignorant! so just dnt let them bother u.

and brothers have started to speak out more...so hopefully soon we wnt have that stereotype of talking a lot!

anyway...wasalam...(im off to bed now..*sleepy*)
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جوري
03-26-2007, 02:12 AM
Originally Posted by AvarAllahNoor
You've not met ''Purestambrosial'' she's female and aggressive... :p
How am I aggressive?
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AvarAllahNoor
03-26-2007, 02:14 AM
Originally Posted by PurestAmbrosia
How am I aggressive?

It was a joke..:rollseyes

Though your anti Sikh posts had me fuming....
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barney
03-26-2007, 02:33 AM
IMO Yes.

Testosterone, the male hormone is scientifically proven to increase aggression and reduce the functioning of the areas of the brain dealing with compromise & tolerance.

It fits in with the male role of hunting and defending family / tribe etc.

In modern society in the west, with men de-roled in the area of hunting, (you dont burn off aggression buying microwave meals), the aggression tends to come out in forms such as fighting at football matches, driving like a maniac and strutting along a street posturing aggressively, confrontative speech and disrespect.

Bring back gladatorial arenas so hip-hop fanatics can beat each other up in comfort & safety.:rollseyes
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samah12
03-26-2007, 02:36 AM
Wow Barney you got men down to a tee there!!!! But why can't they just have a discussion without getting all bolshy about their opinion and reverting to childhood by saying "you are ignorant"?
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Allah-creation
03-26-2007, 03:17 AM
I am definitely aggressive (: I work out 5days a week including running. I bench almost 250 and am aiming for 300. My voice is load and I am tall. My pride is very important to me. I have been in so many fights because of stupid kufar insulting Islam and like a male I cannot show them that I am afraid even though deep inside I am a little afraid. I have never lost a fight! I think as Muslims it’s important to show the disbelievers that we are NOT weak.
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samah12
03-26-2007, 03:23 AM
Originally Posted by Allah-creation
I am definitely aggressive (: I work out 5days a week including running. I bench almost 250 and am aiming for 300. My voice is load and I am tall. My pride is very important to me. I have been in so many fights because of stupid kufar insulting Islam and like a male I cannot show them that I am afraid even though deep inside I am a little afraid. I have never lost a fight! I think as Muslims it’s important to show the disbelievers that we are NOT weak.
Is it weak to discuss your point of view instead of going outside to beat each other? Of course we must protect Islam but must we do it with violent words and actions?
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Allah-creation
03-26-2007, 03:31 AM
all i am saying is that we shoudl stand up for islam.
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samah12
03-26-2007, 03:35 AM
And I agree with you but would it not be better to do it with words and persuasion? Of course I accept if you lift 300 a day then perhaps you need to release some agression lol
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Allah-creation
03-26-2007, 03:38 AM
beating them up makes me feel good (:
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جوري
03-26-2007, 03:38 AM
Originally Posted by AvarAllahNoor

It was a joke..:rollseyes

Though your anti Sikh posts had me fuming....


here is a portable ice bath for you...
Now, whereas I don't believe your religion to be correct... it most certainly doesn't make me "Anti-Sikh" -- my best friend is sikh and she hasn't complained yet!

peace!
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barney
03-26-2007, 03:39 AM
Adding cultural and social experiences to the mix of mens testosterone is like adding petrol to a campfire.

Now my wife is about as aggressive and arguementative and confrontative a woman as I've ever met. :laugh:

Whlist I havnt actually ever hit anything in my life unless it was part of my job. I guess theres a wide variation even within the same gender.

Allah Creation. I'm assuming that you have been getting kuffers insulting islam by saying it is an "aggressive" religion. It might be a little counter productive to tell them it's not by smacking their head in. :rollseyes
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Allah-creation
03-26-2007, 03:40 AM
in some cases ur gana have to fight whether you like it or not so should u fight or run?
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samah12
03-26-2007, 03:41 AM
Shame on you, what would your mother say?
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barney
03-26-2007, 03:42 AM
And no third option? Sure if someone is actually throwing a PUNCH at you then you have to defend yourself. If they are throwing words and you respond with a punch, you have
A) Lost the arguement
B) Confirmed their accusations.

regards
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samah12
03-26-2007, 03:44 AM
Originally Posted by barney

Allah Creation. I'm assuming that you have been getting kuffers insulting islam by saying it is an "aggressive" religion. It might be a little counter productive to tell them it's not by smacking their head in. :rollseyes
My point exactly. We are seen as aggressive because if our religion, do we need to prove it?

Fight or run? Good question, I would want to walk away but to be honest I am too hot headed and would probably stand my ground. I wouldn't go looking for a fight though and would try the talking bit first.
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جوري
03-26-2007, 03:49 AM
Just want to add these teachings of the prophet (SAW) about refraining from anger...

Mu'awiyah ibn al-Hakam al-Sulami said: 'By my father and mother, (I swear that) I never saw a teacher, before or after him, who was a better teacher than the Messenger of Allah. By God, he never shouted at me, or punished me, or insulted me.' (Sunan Ad-Dârimî)

The Prophet said: 'If one of you happens to be standing when he becomes angry, then he should take a seat. If this helps his anger to subside, then good and well. Otherwise, he should go and lie down.' (Sunan Abî Dawûd, Sahîh Ibn Hibbân)

The Prophet said: 'The strong man is not the one who knocks others down, but the one who controls himself when angry.' (Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim)

The Prophet said: 'Teach the people and give them glad tidings. Do not make things difficult. And if you get angry, remain silent.' (Musnad Ahmad, Musnad al-Tayâlisî, and al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî)

The Prophet said: 'Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not trouble his neighbor, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say what is good, or be silent.' (Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim).
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AvarAllahNoor
03-26-2007, 03:56 AM
Originally Posted by PurestAmbrosia


here is a portable ice bath for you...
Now, whereas I don't believe your religion to be correct... it most certainly doesn't make me "Anti-Sikh" -- my best friend is sikh and she hasn't complained yet!

peace!
How gracious of you....

BTW - It's irrelevant what you think of my religion
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samah12
03-26-2007, 03:58 AM
Thank you purestambrosia. I hope all muslims and non-muslims will read and remember these teachings. And our thanks to Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) for his wisdom and teachings.
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جوري
03-26-2007, 03:59 AM
Originally Posted by AvarAllahNoor
How gracious of you....

BTW - It's irrelevant what you think of my religion
Then why keep bringing it up? should leave it in the sikh thread...

Peace!
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