Proud to Be Muslim on Campus
By Bibi Ayesha Wadvalla
When Reza started university, he was a 17-year-old who knew his mind. On his first day, when the older students gathered all the first years for initiation, he refused to do what they said. The older students were irritated at this young upstart. Initiation was part of campus rites — everybody had to do it. Besides, it was harmless fun.
"I explained to them that what they were asking me to do went against Islamic principles and was beneath my dignity, which Islam tells us to always uphold," said Reza. Nobody wanted to hear a "holier than thou" sermon, and thus Reza was thrown into the pond.
"However," continued Reza, "I was glad to see that the girls in hijab were respected and did not have to undergo what they did not want to." Of the five first-year girls in hijab, Zahera was one.
Zahera and Reza later learned that those in the know had stayed away from the piazza, the main area of campus where initiation took place.
"I remember a guy approaching me on my first day. I was so reserved, as I had just recently started wearing hijab and wanted to respect it," said Zahera. "But all he wanted to do was talk about chemistry as we were in the same class!'' she laughed. "Unfortunately, I soon 'melted' and he and I became friends. It was quite difficult not to interact with the males in my class."
Intermingling of the Sexes
Reza echoed her sentiments by saying that intermingling is the most difficult obstacle. As a male, he feels that he's luckier than females in being able to avoid it. "For some reason, it's mostly the males who drive and have cars in the first and second year on campus. Thus, most girls have to be part of a lift club. And I was able to keep my interaction with females down to the bare minimum by just hanging out with the guys."
Zahera agreed with Reza. "I was part of a lift club, and when you spend almost two hours a day traveling with people, it's natural that you'll form a friendship with them. As for socializing, all of our class hung out together. Sometimes us girls would go out by ourselves, but usually it was a mixed group."
However, both Reza and Zahera are adamant that intermingling, although wrong, does not cause one to lose one's Muslim identity. Reza launched into a short speech: "Maintaining your Muslim identity is about resisting the temptations university life throws at you. It's a myth, though, that non-Muslims will pressure you to commit acts against the ethos of Islam. Most Muslims tend to stick together. So the pressure comes from non-practicing Muslim friends. After Friday Prayer, the talk will turn to the weekend. You'll hear there's a party happening on Saturday night. You can decide if you want to follow the crowd or just say no. There's no such thing as platonic friendships, so a class friendship can easily turn into something more. It's tempting, and it's easy to have several relationships on campus."
Zahera, however, does have many non-Muslim friends. "I was involved in numerous extracurricular activities, including sports clubs and the campus newspaper. My headscarf proudly proclaimed my Muslim identity, and almost all my colleagues and friends respected it. There were always social events to attend, and through the newspaper, I often received VIP tickets to clubs and other parties. I always said no, and I was never pressurized to attend. Sure, I heard one or two comments about what a stiff I was, but it didn't bother me. Once, I was the only person not drinking at a dinner. One of my colleagues insisted I just take a sip — he was slightly drunk — and the others immediately lambasted him. I had a Jewish friend who loved the headscarf and used to tell me I'm far more stylish in hijab than girls who follow Western fashion!"
What It Means to Be a Muslim
Zahera was quick to add, "I know I shouldn't even have been at the table where people were drinking, but it was when I was younger and although strong in my beliefs, I was less firm in my assertiveness."
What is the key to maintaining one's Muslim identity at university? It's obvious that strength of character is extremely important. "If you respect yourself, others will naturally respect you," commented Reza.
It is disconcerting to note that there are students who mistakenly believe that maintaining one's identity is only about not drinking and not being engaged in sexual activity. "I know so many people who'll take umbrage at being called non-practicing Muslims, but yet their behavior is consistent with this label," said Zahera. "I was so disappointed in my fellow-Muslim colleagues when a non-Muslim friend commented that when she passes them she does not think highly of them and thinks they are damaging Islam just by being themselves."
Reza clarified, "If you pass by the 'Muslim' area, you are going to see students playing cards all day, probably swearing loudly, and couples sitting together. They are seen to be on campus purely for socializing and give off a very bad impression of Islam." He hesitated, then said, "As harsh as this may sound, if one does not have a very strong Muslim identity to begin with, meaning, not wearing hijab, not praying and so on, then there's nothing to maintain."
While Reza said he was not part of the mainstream crowd, Zahera admitted she was. "But I wasn't just a sheep", she defended herself. "I was popular and hung out often with the crowd. But people respected my decision not to always go out with them. Guys knew they couldn't put their arms around me or hug me as they did with the other girls. When my friend brought to my attention what she thought of the Muslims, she also mentioned that prior to knowing me, she had thought the same of me. This made me question my hanging out there, but I had a large number of friends within the group and could not break away, try as I did."
Appearances are indeed deceptive. It seems clear that unless you have Muslim company, you are in danger of losing your Muslim identity. "Despite my earlier statement, the Muslim students, although non-practicing, are still proud of their identities. We have daily Islamic sessions and there are prayer facilities," said Reza.
We continue to discuss the magical solution to maintaining your Muslim identity, and the answer is simple. Know who you are, follow Islamic values firmly, be strong in your beliefs, and trust that others will respect you if you respect yourself.
Zahera had one final word of advice: "Nobody's a saint, there are times we all feel tempted to 'let go', and the Western lifestyle seems so attractive. But then we know that the path to Paradise is a difficult one. What helps me when these moments strike is asking myself 'Do you want to please mere mortals and gain their brief admiration, or do you want to please Allah and gain His eternal pleasure?'"
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