Domestic issues

[AnonymousPoster]

my parents fight so much. dad is a tyrant and dictator :cry:

[786rani]

explain...
rani

[ummAbdillah]

:w:
make duaa to allah SWA when and after you pray
may allah make things easy for you and your family
ameen
:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:salamext:

a test from Allah, soften ur fathers heart, make ur mother stronger and keep strong inshaAllah.

nothing strengthens people like islam

may Allah help you

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[akulion]

sorry to hear
may allah swt help you through this ordeal
and heal your parents hearts and minds so that they become soft
ameen

[Camomilla]

Assalaamu alaykum!
Aameen to the duas && may Allah(SWT) help yall!
It's sad to hear that sis....
Wassalaam!

[AnonymousPoster]

Wa barakAllahu Feek

explaination: He always look for fight, very violent. always go on about past things to begin new fights. disgusting tongue against wife and daughters. blames mom for every thing. never appreciate.
backbites, lies, his whole life is lie and we protect his lies to protect him infront of other people. he thinks whole world revolve around him. he has no friends.
but he prays 5 times.
im positive he has mental disorder.

i want mum to leave but she stays thinkin i will not be able to marry if i am from broken family. i knwo in a practical world this is not true and in modern society is it not true anymore. but mum is thinking as if she is still living in her times

brother has already left us because of dad's ways. dad had no islamic reason to prevent brother from marrying a girl.

would u blame my mum for leaving him?

[ummAbdillah]

salaam
make duaa and be patient :)
wa salaam

[FatimaAsSideqah]

:sl:

Make a prayer and dua...ask to Allah Ta'ala for help! He is the best of Helper of all!

:w:

Sister of Islam

[IbnAbdulHakim]

the only solution to this is dawah/dua'/patience and a strong will.

[Pk_#2]

May Allah (Swt) grant your family patience inshaAllah, stay strong have faith.

Try to keep the family together, although it may be hard, always remember to make plenty of dua' without Allah (Swt) you will get lost!

Ameen to all previous dua's,

AsalamuAlaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.

[deen_2007]

give time sister. and make sure you & ur mum give ur father minumum excuse to fight and argue. is he likes things in a certain way, then make sure ur ahead of it.

but if things get worse, physically i mean. then you do have to seek help from ur doctor, police or whoever. dnt delay then. make sure ur mother isnt a 'punch bag'. (i say this becoz u described him to be violent).

if things get worse only verbally, then remember, petience, praying and giving him less reasond to get angry is the only solution. you dnt want your mother to leave ur father only for 'arguementative' reasons. physical domestic issues is understandable.

(today in our local, a women was getting battered by her husbang infront of everyones eyes. it was very sad. he dragged her out & beat her up. police were informed by neibours. in situations like this, i believe you should seek help & not sit back)

[SirZubair]

Have Sabr sis.

The arabic word Sabr has 2 parts to it :

1 ) Accept that things are the way things are.

2 ) Have the courage to make changes.

Alot of people translate Sabr = Patience, which is correct, but the english word 'patience' means just that ... be patient.

So i won't say "be patient", i'll say "have sabr"

Anyway, having said that, have you considered contacting a local Shaykh who might be able to calm down your father? Maybe get in involved in some Tabligh Jamat work which will take his mind off some of the pressure he has got building up in his head? And while he is out in the path of Allah swt, he might meditate and cool down abit.

Just a suggestion :)

When i get stressed out, time to time i go out with the TJ's and i come back relaxed and at peace with myself. It works for me, i won't gurantee that it'll work for him. But its worth a shot :)

[Khayal]

Wa barakAllahu Feek

explaination: He always look for fight, very violent. always go on about past things to begin new fights. disgusting tongue against wife and daughters. blames mom for every thing. never appreciate.
backbites, lies, his whole life is lie and we protect his lies to protect him infront of other people. he thinks whole world revolve around him. he has no friends.
but he prays 5 times.
im positive he has mental disorder.

i want mum to leave but she stays thinkin i will not be able to marry if i am from broken family. i knwo in a practical world this is not true and in modern society is it not true anymore. but mum is thinking as if she is still living in her times

brother has already left us because of dad's ways. dad had no islamic reason to prevent brother from marrying a girl.

would u blame my mum for leaving him?

:sl:

hmmmm, when i thought about it from your perspective..i thought how can i help my mother, AND my FATHER...

khair, to come to the point...no matter what, always respect your parents; IF something is bothering you, always say it nicely: don't be angry or argue whenever he is angry , don't talk back to him, nor your mother; just keep silent.

You can change him alot, because daughters are always very close to their father, as i am the very dearest to my father. HOW? I'll tell you how...:)
Whenever he comes home from work, I always am there to bring cold water, always keep his clothes ready, for work and again after coming home. I am always asking him if he needs anything and am always ready to do what he wants with a happy face like this---->:)Alhamdulilah

In your case, if you are not close to him, than you should write a letter to him and show how much you love him, and care about him...don't mention his anger, just show your love n care, and show that you want to be his dearest daughter, hmmmm, and ask him what qualities he likes in his daughter. AND LISTEN to him n act on his wishes..

And ask your mother to please not fight back; if she is not fighting then just keep silent and don't argue .....(

MashaAllah if he is a 5 time namazi, than ALLAH SWT will help him to change.

hmmmmm, let me think more, and i'll ask my sister may be she will suggest some more solutions ....

Till then take care..

Fi Amaan Allah

:w:

[Khayal]

If you start loving your father, he will definetly feel what he is doing is wrong and maybe he will become nice, by the Grace of Allah SWT, InshaAllah.

[snakelegs]

it really depends on how is he violent - is it only verbal or does it include physical violence?

[Snowflake]

would u blame my mum for leaving him?

No!

But does your father know his duties as head of household? Does he realise he will have to answer to Allah for his wrong treatment of his family? If not he should be made aware of this. After that if he doesn't change, then no one can blame your mom for leaving. And in no way would that hinder a decent person from marrying you. If it does, they weren't good enough anyway. Have faith in Allah. He made someone for you, your father didn't.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i would like to remind members to see both sides of a story before giving advice inshaAllah.

:salamext:

[Snowflake]

i would like to remind members to see both sides of a story before giving advice inshaAllah.

:salamext:

we did get both sides of the story bro - from the sister :lol: