AsalamuAlaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Victimisation and mistrust can occur from Suspicion, Spying, Backbiting, etc
There are four categories of Suspicion: Haram (unlawful), Wajib (mandatory), Mustahab (permissible) and Mubah (acceptable).
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, Indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it, and fear Allah. Verily Allah is the one who forgives and accepts repentance, most merciful.
It is not allowed to search and disclose secrets of others. Hence, to eavesdrop upon somebody while hiding or pretending to sleep is like spying on others. However, if there is a possibility of another party harming you or harming another Muslim, then such spying is allowed.
It is narrated by the Prophet (Pbuh) : "Backbiting is talking about somebody which if he/she heard, would grieve him/her."
Hence, it is not allowed to talk about somebody in his absence, even if what was narrated was true. If it was not true, then it would be a bigger sin and it is called Buhtan (false accusation). Backbiting is not done by the tongue alone, it can also be done with the eyes, hands and other movements. For example, copying somebody who is limping, in order to insult him.
The Prophet (Pbuh) said: " Backbiting is a worse sin than adultery." It is further explained in a saying of the Prophet (Pbuh) , narrated by Abu Sa'eed and Jubair in Bayhaqi: "Allah may forgive a person if he repents after committing adultery. However, Allah will not forgive the one who backbites, till his victim forgives him."
WalaykumSaalaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.