hijab advise

[AnonymousPoster]

salam,
i am writting to seek advise about the hijab. i have been wearing it since i was 8, i am now 16 and sometimes feel the pressure to take it off.it make feel really depressed and down. i now i shouldnt but i want to take it off until am 18-19.i dont want to be wearing short skirts or tight stuff i just want to take it off for a bit. my dad is strict so that doesnt help. what do you think i should do, please help??

[Uthman]

:sl:

Thanks for posting. :)

make feel really depressed and down.

Well, the first question would be: Why does it make you feel depressed and down?

:w:

[vpb]

salam,
i am writting to seek advise about the hijab. i have been wearing it since i was 8, i am now 16 and sometimes feel the pressure to take it off.it make feel really depressed and down. i now i shouldnt but i want to take it off until am 18-19.i dont want to be wearing short skirts or tight stuff i just want to take it off for a bit. my dad is strict so that doesnt help. what do you think i should do, please help??

sis, I think Shaitan is just trying to make you take it off, I mean his achievement is only to make you take it off, and after you take it he's happy, and also if you say that when you get 18-19 you will put it back, how do you know that you will be alive till then? what if death takes you a moment after you take a hijab, and sudenly all your patience that you have hold for all u'r life is lost ? but as bro asked why is making you feel depressed? and maybe we will give you any help.

[AnonymousPoster]

i dont always want to take it off, its just sometimes when am in school i feel different to everyone its hard to explain, like when everyone is talking about there hair. also when i go out with my english friends, i feel they get treated better than me as ill be getting weird looks from people espeacially during summer. this is stupid but what really annoys me is when am in school or outside and i see muslim girls older than me not wearing it. it is just the shaitan getting to me...... but there are times when i dont mind it.

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[Uthman]

:sl:

Sister, I understand that this is probably not the best thing you would want to hear right now, but it is obligatory that a Muslim woman wears a hijab (I know you are aware of this). In some respects, it is harder for a Muslim woman being in the west than it is to be a Muslim man. Even as a boy, I can relate to what you are feeling when you are with your English friends. Sometimes, my friends talk about how they had a lot of fun last night getting 'drunk' (they use a different word). Sometimes I too feel a little bit out of it.

this is stupid but what really annoys me is when am in school or outside and i see muslim girls older than me not wearing it.

It must be really difficult for you sister. You must rejoice in the fact that you are more dear to Allah than they are. You have probably realised that this is a test from Allah and for that reason I would like to quote the following Ayah:

On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear

Allah has given you this test because he knows that you can pass. The better a Muslim you are, the harder Shaitan will fight for you.

I will pray for you sister.

:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

the fact that you are more dear to Allah than they are. You have probably realised that this is a test from Allah and for that reason I would like to quote the following Ayah:

On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear

Allah has given you this test because he knows that you can pass. The better a Muslim you are, the harder Shaitan will fight for you.

I will pray for you sister.

thank you brother, what you said makes me see it in a different way. i will inshallah fight the shaitan everytime and i will keep my hijab on.

[noahs_arc]

i dont always want to take it off, its just sometimes when am in school i feel different to everyone its hard to explain, like when everyone is talking about there hair. also when i go out with my english friends, i feel they get treated better than me as ill be getting weird looks from people espeacially during summer. this is stupid but what really annoys me is when am in school or outside and i see muslim girls older than me not wearing it. it is just the shaitan getting to me...... but there are times when i dont mind it.

my 2 best friends both accessorise thier hijabs to match their outfits lol it keeps them 'in fashion' whilst being modest. try that? i think they look cool like that.

[AK47EmirKhattab]

i dont always want to take it off, its just sometimes when am in school i feel different to everyone its hard to explain, like when everyone is talking about there hair. also when i go out with my english friends, i feel they get treated better than me as ill be getting weird looks from people espeacially during summer. this is stupid but what really annoys me is when am in school or outside and i see muslim girls older than me not wearing it. it is just the shaitan getting to me...... but there are times when i dont mind it.

Sis, didnt you say in the other thread "y girlz dont like me", that you don't wear niqaab like those girls at your school?

[------]

:salamext:

O my sister in Islaam! Don't fall into the Shaytaan's trap, when he whispers to you that you aren't ready for wearing Hijaab, you’ll wear it when you get older, you’ll wear it when you get married, or you need to take it off, etc etc.
Us humans are weak, and we become vulnerable to the Shaytaan, because his reasons sound more appealing to us, whereas Allaah swt's reasons have better wisdom behind them.

“…And it may be that you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you love a thing while it is evil for you, and Allah knows, while you do not know.”
[Qur’aan, Al-Baqarah 2:216]

[Abdul Fattah]

Selam aleykum
MashaAllah for wearing hijab this long. Of course there comes a time in everybody's life where people start questioning those things thta we normally took for granted. And at those times sister, shaytan is quick to whisper things among the lines of:
"if you fit in, things will be better for you, so take it off so you don't stand out."
If you listen to shaytan and follow his advice, the next thing he will say is: "when a boy approaches and you take your distance, then they will not understand it and be upset with you since they have a different culture, so you should be friendly to them."
If you listen to that to, then next thing he will tell you is:
"Well, you don't have to drink alcohol when you go out with your non-muslim friends, and you might even have an opportunity for dawah, so go with them to that bar, it's not like something bad is going to happen"
And he goes on and on like that, and before you'll know it, the difference between you and teh disbelievers will become smaller and smaller. And the more you adapt their behavior the more difficult it will become to follow your religion. and the more difficult your religion becomes the less you will believe. and then you're stuck in a vicious circle.

Now, you might be thinking "it won't get this far, I'll be able to keep it under control" And who knows, maybe you will, maybe you wont. But remember that Allah subhana wa ta'ala guides whomever he wants and lets astray whomever he wants. What would Allah subhana wa ta'ala do with those who deliberately chose not to follow his rules? Only Allah subhana wa ta'ala himself knows, and we do not. But frankly, if I were you, I wouldn't want to take the risk of loosing his guidance, you may plan to only take off the hijab for two years, but if Allah subhana wa ta'ala stops guiding you, by the time two years are gone shaytan could have conquered much of your heart. And you might not have the will to put the hijab back on. Again, Only Allah subhana wa ta'ala knows, and I know not, but why take the risk?
My advice to you sister, keep shaytan at a distance inshaAllah by striving in following the rules of Islam as much as you can.
May Allah subhana wa ta'ala guide us on the straight path.

[Medina83]

Salam akhi,
I'm 24 and newly reverted to Islam, sometimes I feel a bit depressed wearing hijab, especially when I go to shopping centres and see girls with summer clothes, lovely make up and shiny hair and high heels. This how I used to dress , estaghfirullah. Sometimes I feel lots less confident, then I realise its only my vanity I want to please.

I just want you to know are not alone feeling this way.
The thought that consoles me is that when I die and the angels take my soul from my body, inshaAllah my soul will have beautiful scent, and not foul stench. Really the people who look beautiful now may not have this experience. And try to wear nice colours and style to match ur personality and style. Consider artistic kind of girls who wear those long bandana scarves, they cover most of their hair, they happy and confident in their style.

This is our style sister, so lets think of the future rewards for us inshaAllah and of our souls being taken gently instead of roughly and smelling beautiful instead of stinky, and of the pleasure of our most loving Rabb Al Wadud who knows how we fight our earthly desires...

Salam honey

[FatimaAsSideqah]

:sl:

Let you know, this world is prisoner for the believers and paradise for non-believers!

Jannah is Paradise for the believers and prisoner for non-believers!

:)

:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

Sis, didnt you say in the other thread "y girlz dont like me", that you don't wear niqaab like those girls at your school?

salam, no i didnt write that thread, thank you everyone for giving me your advise.

[atha]

Assalam-u-alaikum dear sister

Let me tell you something. See, I wear the hijab as well. I do get the whispers to take it off but I do not comply. I was thinking of complying just for a lil bit in the future but after reading what Abdul Fattah wrote, I think its better to keep the hijab on. Now, sister, it is your choice inshaallah. You should not keep it on out of fear of your father, rather you should fear Allah. I know my dad asked me to wear it but the only reason I wore it is because I felt he was asking me to do the right thing. There was a time at the university, when I felt too much pressure from the surrounding and such. For instance, I was denied volunteer work in research lab in our biology department. This continued to happen for like 3 years or so. I felt compelled to take the hijab off and be like them, to mix in and such so I can be accepted. Anyways, instead of making any rash decisions, i did istakhara and figured its best to keep it. So, alhamdulilah, it came as an act of free will in that at the end, I freely chose it because dad cannot make me wear what I do not like. Anyways, going off topic here. See the thing is that peer pressure is only temporary, it is of this world. So what is there to worry about sis. My suggestion would be for you to keep the hijab because it helps keep evil temptations away. See, I am sure if you are wearing it for the right reason, inshaAllah, Allah will help you with it. Do not be sad or depressed. Go out and find other hijabi or pro-hijabi sisters and mingle with them, inshaAllah.

Saying that I must say that the pro-hijab posts here are not meant to pressure you to keep it but rather to advice you. It is your choice. But as Abdul Fattah commented, be aware of what might follow after you decide not to wear it inshaAllah. May Allah help you in this.

Take care
Assalam-u-alaikum

[HBot 5000]

salam,
i am writting to seek advise about the hijab. i have been wearing it since i was 8, i am now 16 and sometimes feel the pressure to take it off.it make feel really depressed and down. i now i shouldnt but i want to take it off until am 18-19.i dont want to be wearing short skirts or tight stuff i just want to take it off for a bit. my dad is strict so that doesnt help. what do you think i should do, please help??

:w:

Sister i have been to many places, seen many things and nothing is more beautiful than a sister with a Hijab. :thumbs_up

I can understand the pressures of being a teen (once upon a time i was one :statisfie ) but if you truly belive in your lord :arabic4: and the last day then keep it on and never mind what your friends, media say! :thumbs_up

:sl:

[***Umm-e-kulsum]

my 2 best friends both accessorise thier hijabs to match their outfits lol it keeps them 'in fashion' whilst being modest. try that? i think they look cool like that.

sis i think this cud help bt dnt over do it!!!lol
Mashallah you'v been wearin it for a while now and i know u might feel a bit different around ur friends bt always remember that as a muslim woman in Islam you have to wear the hijab!!!!
anyway Inshallah i hope u stay strong and carry on wearing it!!!!!:D

[Snowflake]

MashaAllah! I'm glad you've decided to keep your hijab on sis. :)



I see non-hijabi muslimahs all around me. Some still maintaining a degree of modesty in their clothing and some totally void of it. And you know what? My eyes lower with shame. To me they might as well be naked. I see them in provocative clothing and make up and I think, these bodies will one day rot in their graves. Then who will remember your beauty and who your lack of shame. The countless men, whose lusts you fire. Will they come to your aid when you are six feet under? Will the grave and it's angels respect your body which you didn't respect for the sake of Allah? Be warned sisters!
Displaying your beauty in this world may cause your faces to be distorted in the Fire. Why flaunt it in this world when Allah has promised to give it to us forever in Jannah? Our bodies are a trust from Allah. Please respect what belongs to Him.

just a thought...