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tasha>farah
05-19-2007, 01:34 PM
im a convert and i no i shouldnt' but i still wear my same clothes,just where i come from and what im used to makes it hard.I come from a mainly white,english area who are totally unaware or just ignorant to other cultures and races.I myself am mixed race,white and black carribean.A black convert man sed it takes time,you gota do things step by step and 1 day you'll get there.Am i a bad muslim for this?
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- Qatada -
05-19-2007, 01:43 PM
Asalaamu 'alykum (peace be upon you.) Sister.


Insha Allaah you're not a bad muslim sister if you're working hard and striving to submit to Allaah whole-heartedly. It's better for a person to work gradually then not strive at all, and we know that Paradise (Jannah) is surrounded by trials and sometimes disliked things, and hellfire is surrounded by lusts and false desires.


So if you think you can't change yourself all of a sudden, you might want to work on it gradually. So first of all maybe wear more looser clothes? Then hijaab. Then gradually an abaya, and gradually you will reach your goal insha Allaah (God willing.) And always remember sister, if you give up something for the sake of Allaah, He will replace you with something better.

Also know that if you can make yourself confident by praying to Allaah, and by placing your trust in Him. Then you won't care what the haters say, since you can't please everyone on the earth. People even say evil things about Allaah and His Messengers' (peace be upon them)! So you should know that you will also face trials, these trials raise a person higher in the sight of Allaah (also in Paradise), and Allaah never overburdens a person with what they can't bear.


We will also keep you in our prayers insha Allaah.



Peace.
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786rani
05-19-2007, 01:43 PM
no but u can improve.strat by coverin up then gradully wear a scarf. good luck sister. i'm from birmingham 2. ppl can be understasnding
rani
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Prisca
05-19-2007, 01:48 PM
No, I don't think your a bad muslim
There are actually lots of people who were BORN muslims but don't cover up.
So inshaAllah you'll start dressing Islamicly, just take it step by step.
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aamirsaab
05-19-2007, 02:08 PM
:sl:
It takes time to change.

Take your time, there is no rush.
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tasha>farah
05-19-2007, 05:23 PM
Thank you every1 you've made me feel much better.Slowly it will be done.
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- Qatada -
05-19-2007, 05:33 PM
Asalaamu 'alykum (peace be upon you.)



That's really kool, alhamdulillah (the praise is for Allaah.) Remember that if you can feel comfortable and content with yourself, for the sake of pleasing Allaah - then you won't really care about what the others will say. At the same time, remember to carry on asking Allaah to help you because He is the controller of all of His creation, so no-one can harm you or benefit you except by His will.

And a final point - the greater the trial, the greater the reward. I hope you remember that inshaa Allaah (God willing.)




Peace.
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00:00
05-21-2007, 11:13 AM
It don't matter on the dress bro, its what's on the inside that matters. But try to bro dress more islamically, even it means wearing a hat, cuz cloths do have effect on people.
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Pk_#2
05-21-2007, 11:21 AM
A hat? why does she wan wear a hat?

Nah way,

All the best sis, May Allah (swt) make it easy for you :D

AsalamuALaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Wa Maghfiratuh
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DaNgErOuS MiNdS
05-21-2007, 11:49 AM
aslaamalikum

Sister tashafarah - I think it will help you to look for stories of inspiration from the Prophet (pbuh) and the companions (ra)


You can also draw inspiration from Muslim converts facing similar struggles as yourself and how they managed to wear the hijab eventually.


Birmingham has a large Muslim community, perhaps you can move to an area where it will be more easier to practice your religion?
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DaNgErOuS MiNdS
05-21-2007, 11:52 AM
I remember reading this post by a devout Christian woman in which she discusses what she thinks about the Hijab

" Between the Israeli assault on Lebanon and the Zionist “war on terror,” the Muslim world is now center stage in every American home. I see the carnage, death and destruction that have befallen Lebanon, but I also see something else: I see you. I can’t help but notice that almost every woman I see is carrying a baby or has children around her. I see that though they are dressed modestly, their beauty still shines through. But it’s not just outer beauty that I notice. I also notice that I feel something strange inside me: I feel envy. I feel terrible for the horrible experiences and war crimes that the Lebanese people have suffered, being targeted by our common enemy. But I can’t help but admire your strength, your beauty, your modesty, and most of all, your happiness. Yes, it’s strange, but it occurred to me that even under constant bombardment, you still seemed happier than we are, because you were still living the natural lives of women. The way women have always lived since the beginning of time. It used to be that way in the West until the 1960s, when we were bombarded by the same enemy. Only we were not bombarded with actual munitions, but with subtle trickery and moral corruption.


They bombarded us Americans from Hollywood, instead of from fighter jets or with our own American-made tanks. They would like to bomb you in this way too, after they’ve finished bombing the infrastructure of your countries. I do not want this to happen to you. You will feel degraded, just like we do. You can avoid this kind of bombing if you will kindly listen to those of us who have already suffered serious casualties from their evil influence. Because everything you see coming out of Hollywood is a pack of lies, a distortion of reality, smoke and mirrors. They present casual sex as harmless recreation because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of the societies into which they beam their poisonous programming. I beg you not to drink their poison. There is no antidote for it once you have consumed it. You may recover partially, but you will never be the same. Better to avoid the poison altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes.
They will try to tempt you with their titillating movies and music videos, falsely portraying us American women as happy and satisfied, proud of dressing like prostitutes, and content without families. Most of us are not happy, trust me. Millions of us are on anti-depressant medication, hate our jobs, and cry at night over the men who told us they loved us, then greedily used us and walked away. They would like to destroy your families and convince you to have fewer children. They do this by presenting marriage as a form of slavery, motherhood as a curse, and being modest and pure as old-fashioned. They want you to cheapen yourself and lose your faith. They are like the Serpent tempting Eve with the apple. Don’t bite.


I see you as precious gems, pure gold, or the “pearl of great value” spoken of in the Bible (Matthew 13: 45). All women are pearls of great value, but some of us have been deceived into doubting the value of our purity. Jesus said: “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” (Matthew 7: 6). Our pearls are priceless, but they convince us that they’re cheap. But trust me; there is no substitute for being able to look in the mirror and seeing purity, innocence and self-respect staring back at you. The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence. A woman’s sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since your men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best. Our men don’t even want purity anymore. They don’t recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too.


Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don’t let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan’s trap. It is fool’s gold.
I’ll let you in on a little secret, just in case you’re curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us. Just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it’s not even enjoyable! That’s the irony. It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears. Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what’s in another woman’s heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman’s heart is the same everywhere. We love. That’s what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love. Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman’s body and heart be safe to love. Don’t settle for anything less. It’s not worth it. You won’t even like it and you’ll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he’ll leave you.


Sin never pays. It always cheats you. Even though I have reclaimed my honor, there’s still no substitute for having never been dishonored in the first place. We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated. We secretly admire and envy you, although some of us will not admit it. Please do not look down on us or think that we like things the way they are. It’s not our fault. Most of us did not have fathers to protect us when we were young because our families have been destroyed. You know who is behind this plot. Don’t be fooled, my sisters. Don’t let them get you too. Stay innocent and pure. We Christian women need to see what life is really supposed to be like for women. We need you to set the example for us, because we are lost. Hold onto your purity. Remember: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. So guard your “toothpaste” carefully!
I hope you receive this advice in the spirit in which it is intended: the spirit of friendship, respect, and admiration. From your Christian sister – with love."


© 2006+ Joanna Francis
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Snowflake
05-21-2007, 12:02 PM
^nice post Dangerous bro!

May Allah make it easy for you tasha>farah sis :)
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00:00
05-21-2007, 12:10 PM
A hat? why does she wan wear a hat?

Nah way,
oh soz i though tasha was a bro thats why i said hat. Why cant i edit my posts.
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Kittygyal
05-22-2007, 07:02 PM
Salamualikum.
^ Need 50posts first.
anywho Tash am the same like you but i 'try' me best to cover me self when go out now. May allah subhnwatallah make it easy for us inshallah
ma'assalama
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ScoobyGurl
05-22-2007, 07:35 PM
Like the others have said you're not a bad Muslim. Whem my umm first reverted, she wore turbans and loose fitting clothing. Sometimes she would wear khimar. We both did. We didn't start dressing the way we currently dress out of the gate. It was really gradual. Also, it takes time to learn different things. We honestly didn't know about proper hijab initially. We just thought you had to cover your hair and wear modest clothing that covered your body. We didn't know about the neck.

So, no you're not a bad Muslim at all. Just read more about hijab why we do it and take your time. :)
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Umm Yoosuf
05-22-2007, 10:14 PM
Originally Posted by tasha>farah
im a convert and i no i shouldnt' but i still wear my same clothes,just where i come from and what im used to makes it hard.I come from a mainly white,english area who are totally unaware or just ignorant to other cultures and races.I myself am mixed race,white and black carribean.A black convert man sed it takes time,you gota do things step by step and 1 day you'll get there.Am i a bad muslim for this?
Assalaamu Alaikum :)

Masha Allah congrats on your reversion to Islam. How long have you being a Muslim? Is it hard for you to wear the Hijab? Or have you never really thought about it?

I don't think you're a bad Muslim, know that the Hijab is a MUST, that every Muslim woman should wear it as Allah commanded her. Work towards wearing the Hijab, by taking steps, and studying/learning about Islam, so that you establish and make firm your iman (faith). Once you have tasted the sweetness of iman you'll want to do anything for Allah, for Islam no matter what. And Insha Allah wearing the Hijab will become easy for you.
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 06:36 PM
just remeber things are done step by step, and allah counts your intentions before anything else, you have the right intentions so youve taken the first step already, the rest will just come inshallah.

make dua for allah to make it easy for inshallah, your dua will be accepted.
thats what i did.

Aslamaleikum may Allah guide you and give you strength. Ameen
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Rafeeq
06-01-2007, 10:00 AM
Welcome to Islam, and Inshallah, u are not bed muslimah. U are one who is having less sins in her account compared to we muslims-by-birth.
Step by step, u will get every thing.
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Kittygyal
06-01-2007, 04:12 PM
Salamualikum.
Sis Tasha trust me after being a christain and now a muslim whom wears the hijab and jilb subhnallah i feel more close to my lord. Yes, i still wear jeans and tops etc etc but when i go out i wear hijab and jilb which covers my figure. Mashallah i feel more like a muslim and more close to me lord.
It took me ALOT of time to grasp and tell me brothers what Islam really is and to cry with tears flowing by here and there and ask them to allow me to wear hijab and jilb. Look now they let me YET still have ups and downs with me. Maybe you may feel bad from the inner cause as they are your homies but remember who comes first Allah subhnwatallah or homiez? I mean YES you love them etc etc but remember on the Day Of Judgement they won't be there answering for you infront of Lord.

Anywho congrats my sister in Islam and take it easy don't stress i know how ya feel. Be patient it leads to the doors. Subhnallah.

Ma'assalama
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anonymous
06-01-2007, 07:05 PM
Originally Posted by Kittygyal
Salamualikum.
Sis Tasha trust me after being a christain and now a muslim whom wears the hijab and jilb subhnallah i feel more close to my lord. Yes, i still wear jeans and tops etc etc but when i go out i wear hijab and jilb which covers my figure. Mashallah i feel more like a muslim and more close to me lord.
It took me ALOT of time to grasp and tell me brothers what Islam really is and to cry with tears flowing by here and there and ask them to allow me to wear hijab and jilb. Look now they let me YET still have ups and downs with me. Maybe you may feel bad from the inner cause as they are your homies but remember who comes first Allah subhnwatallah or homiez? I mean YES you love them etc etc but remember on the Day Of Judgement they won't be there answering for you infront of Lord.

Anywho congrats my sister in Islam and take it easy don't stress i know how ya feel. Be patient it leads to the doors. Subhnallah.

Ma'assalama
ahhhhh sis luv ya XX
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Kittygyal
06-01-2007, 07:25 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
ahhhhh sis luv ya XX
Salamualikum.
Erm.. Who ever you are please let me know inshallah. I got idea who it might be but i really need to know now inshallah :)

Love ya too for the sake of me lord inshallah.
Ma'assalama
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