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glo
05-19-2007, 08:38 PM
Greetings

How would I, as a non-Muslim, pay my respects to a Muslim family who have just tragically lost their teenage son?

I only knew the son by sight, and I don't know the family personally.

Thanks
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Kittygyal
05-19-2007, 08:41 PM
Greetings.
Sorry to hear that :cry:

well you can go to the house of family and gave them flowers or something, and sit and say your sorry to hear about the loss and talk.

Take care
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aamirsaab
05-19-2007, 08:56 PM
:sl:
I'm not entirely sure if there is a specific ruling relating to this so I cannot comment.

My inclination tells me however that one would be allowed to talk to the family i.e. help them with their grief.
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glo
05-19-2007, 08:58 PM
Thank you.

The family is inundated with visitors from their own extended family - so it seems very intrusive to just knock on their door ...
Should I wait?
Or just put a card through the door?

Thanks
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- Qatada -
05-19-2007, 08:58 PM
To Allaah we belong and to Him is our return.. that's sad news. How did he pass away glo?


This hadith comes to mind:


Once the Prophet was seated at some place in Madinah, along with his Companions. During this time a funeral procession passed by. On seeing this, the Prophet stood up. One of his companions remarked that the funeral was that of a Jew. The Prophet replied, “Was he not a human being?” (Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim, Sunan An-Nasâ'î)

http://www.islamicboard.com/userpage-user49.html
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glo
05-19-2007, 09:03 PM
He was murdered, Fi_Sabilillah. :cry:
The whole community is reeling, and I feel I should make an effort to show my sympathy.

I like the hadith. :)
Yes, this young man deserves to be remembered!
People have laid flowers and wreaths and cards on the square where he died.
Perhaps this tragedy will bring Muslims and non-Muslims together ...

Peace
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- Qatada -
05-19-2007, 09:10 PM
Oh, was it them 'thug' kind of related murders? I hear that they occur alot nowadays.. i hope it unites the people and makes them think more deeply about the hereafter.


Thanks for notifiying us glo, we will keep him and his family in our prayers.
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Woodrow
05-19-2007, 09:15 PM
It is your intent that will be seen and not any need for protocol. A simple card and or a kind word will go far. Just be your honest self and let your intent be your guide.

I like your idea of just slipping a card through the door. Perhaps you may see the Mother or another female family member and you could hand them the card.
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Snowflake
05-19-2007, 10:14 PM
Originally Posted by glo
Thank you.

The family is inundated with visitors from their own extended family - so it seems very intrusive to just knock on their door ...
Should I wait?
Or just put a card through the door?

Thanks
inna lillahi wa inna ilahi ra ji'oon - We are from Allah and to Him is our return

Hi Glo, it's very touching and thoughtful of you to want to offer your condolences to this family. May Allah grant them patience and peace in their hearts and reward their son with Jannah inshaAllah. Ameen.

I personally think a card will be sufficient to convey your message of sympathy to the deceased's family for now. Right now it may be v. difficult to perhaps even talk to them while they are surrounded by family members. These situations can get pretty crazy. I am sure they will be touched just knowing you have shown that you care. Then perhaps when the visits of extended family have eased off, you can pop in for a while and see them personally if you'd like to. Hope we helped.
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glo
05-20-2007, 01:40 AM
Originally Posted by Fi_Sabilillah
Oh, was it them 'thug' kind of related murders? I hear that they occur alot nowadays.. i hope it unites the people and makes them think more deeply about the hereafter.


Thanks for notifiying us glo, we will keep him and his family in our prayers.
Thank you for your prayers, Fi_Sabilillah.

He was killed as a result of a long-standing feud between two families.
A group of 4 or 5 came after him with baseball bats and golf clubs - he died from severe head injuries. It happened in the early evening in a public place, with plenty of eye witnesses.
I still cannot believe it ...
This kind of things should not have been allowed to happen ...! :cry:

I pray that good will come out of this tragedy.
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glo
05-20-2007, 01:41 AM
Thank you for all your thoughts and comments.
I think a card through the door sounds like the best idea.

Peace
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glo
05-21-2007, 01:14 PM
Well, I followed the advice given and dropped a card round the family's house.
I was just going to leave, but I met a woman outside the house who turned out to be the boy's auntie.
I was very glad to be able to express my condolences verbally. She didn't speak much English - but it didn't need many words to share our sadness.
It was quite an amazing encounter, really, and I feel very touched.

Thank you all for your encouragement.
Sometimes I find myself not doing what I think is right, for fear of saying the wrong thing or offending the other person.
Right now I feel God is prompting me to be bolder and braver, rather than worry too much ...

Peace
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Woodrow
05-21-2007, 01:31 PM
Kindness and sincere concern have no language barriers. You act of kindness and thought will go far in helping them understand that they are not alone.
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- Qatada -
05-21-2007, 01:41 PM
I think that's something we learn from all the Prophets of God, that one should be caring to their neighbour.


The Prophet said: 'By Allah, he is not a believer! By Allah, he is not a believer! By Allah, he is not a believer!' He was asked, 'Who, O Messenger of Allah?' He replied, 'Anyone whose neighbor does not feel safe from his harm.' (Musnad Ahmad)

The Prophet said: 'Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not trouble his neighbor, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say what is good, or be silent.' (Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim).

The Prophet said: 'The believer is not the one who eats his fill when the neighbour beside him is hungry.' (Sunan Al-Bayhaqî)


We pray to God that He grants the family patience, and thankyou for your kindness glo.



Peace.
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tomtomsmom
05-21-2007, 03:20 PM
Ohh Glo that is so horrible!!! Did the guys who beat him up get caught?
Such hate riuning young promising lives. Such a waste.

It was very kind of you to send the card. Not sure about where you live, but it is common practice here to bring food. Like a casserole type thing that they can just heat and eat. I can tell you from recent experiance, it makes times like these much easier. Though the parents may not be able to eat due to grief, if they have other children it will help take some of the burden off by not having to prepare meals for them.
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