format_quote Originally Posted by
Anonymous Tester
Am struggling in my faith Islam, I have questions in my head.
I’m female in my late teen, since when I was little my mum and dad focused me to wear hijab and skirt. I wasn’t allowed to do anything when I was little (couldn’t play in the park, run around) where as my brothers were allowed to do anything they want. I was taught to clean the house and cook since I was seven. I was a mini adult. I miss my childhood, I wanna experience being child. Obviously I can’t be one now it too late.
Anyways bcos of this I have questions, in my head. I think Islam is sexes in many ways.
Wanna get this out of my head and be a good Muslim. If you could answer few question for me (short answers not essay, no offensive):
1)How comes women can’t wear perfumes when men can? I mean surely men wearing one is gonna cause attention from opposite sex?
2)How comes women have to wear hijab and men don’t wear nothing.
3)How comes women have to stay at home, cook and clean?
4)How comes prophet Mohammed emphasized women behavior in Hadeth etc Why say women are going to hell etc
5)Why is that men are the ones that lead the payers?
6)Why do women have more responsibility in Islam?
7)How comes men are allowed to have four wives and can love one more in his heart? (Like prophet Mohammed p.b.u.h who loves Aisha the most) What the point of having more than one wife when ur gonna love one more?
Please don’t think I am against Islam or something is that I have lack of knowledge and I wanna learn more? It just that I think Islam is suited to men more but I wanna change this view. Thank you
Salam alaikum. My sister. Indeed the way your pearents behaved toward you was wrong and very harsh and extreeme. However you must (I hope you do) understand that they did try to bring you up in the best manner they new. It is a must on you now to gain correct knowledge in Islam so as not to fall into the same or similar mistakes as they did. May Allah make it easy for you.
As far as you missing your childhood and that you think it is too late, you are wrong as most of the fun and enjoyment of childhood you can have and enjoy with your husband and indeed it is part of islam to be understanding to your wife and play with her and joke and run and lough and so on and so forth.
I will try to give my oppinion on your questions:
1)How comes women can’t wear perfumes when men can? I mean surely men wearing one is gonna cause attention from opposite sex?
Women cen wear parfume and Islam is the first to have devided parfume into male and female parfumes. The hadith describe the parfume of women as colour and no scent while the parfume of men as scent and no colour. This does not mean that the women's parfume does not carry any scent at all but it is very mild and you have to be very close to smell it. Also within her house, there is no prohibition on females wearing parfume. The prohibition is only when going out. Now as far as the difference between men and women in this regard and your say that men can get attention too, you should realise that women has been made by Allah more attracting than men even if they do not wear any ornaments at all. Also the harm upon the men on women wearing parfume is greater than that of men on women as even the temtation is greater as once the woman is married she is complete in her needs while if the man is married still he can take a second, third and fourth wife as wel. Shaytan will temt him more easy than the woman who has a husband already. There are also other reasons but as you mentioned I will not elongate the answer any further.
2)How comes women have to wear hijab and men don’t wear nothing.
First men to have to wear something but you mean not wear hijab. Now remember that woman does not have to wear hijab if she stays at home. She only wears hijab when she goes out and in the presence of non mahram men. Remember also that woman does not have to work in Islam and the man has to provide for her. This being the case, men have to be engaged more than the women in work and other matters so this difference becomes needed.
3)How comes women have to stay at home, cook and clean?
You should remember that the oppinion of the majority of schoolars (Abu Hanifa, Melik and Shafi') say that the woman does not have an obligation to do any of such for the husband. However as the husband is out all day working and earning a living it is a moral obligation for her to help as much as she can. Also some schoolars have said that if she does not cook at all even for herself then she does not need to cook for her husband too while if she cooks for herself she must cook for her family too. Husbands should help as well and the best of the sons of Adam, Muhamed was always engaged in helping and serving his family as stated in sahih Al-Bukhary.
4)How comes prophet Mohammed emphasized women behavior in Hadeth etc Why say women are going to hell etc
First of all he did not say that women will go to hell but only stated that the majority of the inhabitants of hell are women and there is a big difference between the two. Don't forget that the majority of the inhabitants of Jannah is also women. Also don't forget that the prophet said that the woman is the treasure of this world and other than it. You should take the ahadith together.
5)Why is that men are the ones that lead the payers?
Only when women and men are present. Woman can lead women and children. Remember that one of the reasons is also to avoid temptation like when the prophet described the worst row of men to be the nearest to the women.
6)Why do women have more responsibility in Islam?
This is not true. Women are exempted from salah during their menses, from fasting also during the menses, they do not have to do jihaad, they do not have to make hajj if they do not have a mahram, they do not have to provide for the family, they are forgiven if they can not make hijrah and the list goes on and on.
7)How comes men are allowed to have four wives and can love one more in his heart? (Like prophet Mohammed p.b.u.h who loves Aisha the most) What the point of having more than one wife when ur gonna love one more?
Remember that if women did have more than one husband then no one would know whose the child is. Inheritance would be a mess and financial rights also would be unclear. there are other reasons and bookshave been written on this topic. You can read them. As for marriage and love, man can marry four wifes but he has to treat them equally as the hadith state that the man who does not treat them equally will come on the day of judgement inclining on one side and of course this implies that he will be taken to task for it. As for: What is the point of having more than one wife when you are going to love one more? The answer is easy and from another question: What is the point having more than one child when you will love one more?
Dear sister. Allah has made things obligatory and forbidden. Some He has incouraged and some He has disscouraged to be performed. Some He has allowed us to do. No doubt that all this has it's wisdom behind it. Some of it we can understand and some of it we do not understand. This does not mean that what we do not understand, no one knows. That is why we all should strive to learn about our religion as much as we can. In this way our ignorance and the whispering of shaytan will be expelled from us and the ummah in general. I pray to Allah that He grants us all beneficial knowledge and correct understanding of the affairs. Verily success comes only from Him
Wa salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.