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Salma13
05-27-2007, 08:35 PM
Asalmaleikum , this is going to be a long one, i need some serious help, Alhumdulillah i have recently started to practice. i was enlightend by islam through my sis in law who is a revert, however didnt start practing, the way my journy to islam began was when i was approached unislamically from a brother, i by the will of Allah gave him my number (and i swear by Allah i am not that kind of girl who ever did that, but on htis occasion it just happened) Anyway we conversated, and he encourged me to become more pious, i began to do my salaah five times a day, and alhumdulillah have started to pray, all by th help of this broth, Mashallah. Any how like anyone would think, i began to fall in love with him, but for the sake of Allah i can truely tell you my intentions are to live a life as a servant of Allah, and i beleive he can give me that, anyway living in an asian family my parents dont know that i am talking to this brother, he is also fro a different cast, which is a bit difficult for most asians. My family are also not practicing, but inshallah i am trying. Anyway im abit stuck on what i should do, for the past year, actually nearlly two years i feel guilty for wat my parents will think of this. i also just want to put right that i have no physical relationship with him at all, an i dont even see him! but please give me some help im stuck, seriously!

Asalamaleikum, may Allah guide us through each other!
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Salma13
05-27-2007, 10:38 PM
please help me
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00:00
05-27-2007, 10:53 PM
Does the bro feel the same about about u, u may wanna marry him, but he may not wanna marry u.

i dont think they'll have a problem wid u marrying the bro, they accepted the revert sis, so they should accept the bro.
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 08:58 AM
thanx, yes we do feel the same about each other, but he is in abit of a difficult situation at the moment he cant propose for marraige to my dad, but inshallah in a years time. i just want to know should i stay in contact with him thru fone?
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Philosopher
05-28-2007, 09:21 AM
If you guys like each other, get your parents and introduce him.
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 10:02 AM
hhhhmmmm id probably get killed!
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learningislam
05-28-2007, 06:19 PM
:salamext:

sister, do u mean to say that your family would reject his proposal because of both of you knowing eachother. Well, if you can involve a family member like your brother or sister......and they would talk to your parents about your proposal........And that might settle the problem inshaAllah....

Alongwith, do make dua to Allah swt.......

:wasalamex
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 06:23 PM
jazakallha kahirun for all your help, the other thing is that we want to get married, and we say inshallah, and have hope, that we can build a better life for each other, is that rong to have hope becasue i cannot be certain of anything. yeah i think that will be the main thing that we know each other. i dont have the guts to get a brother or sister involved!


Asalamaleikum, and may allah reward you all for helping me
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Kittygyal
05-28-2007, 06:55 PM
Salamualikum.
Best thing ever is dua'ah
Ma'assalama
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barney
05-28-2007, 07:01 PM
So in a nutshell, you are both in love and your parents dont approve.

Well your an adult, so make your life choices based on your own heart.
Alternative is living out some ideal your parents have.

Having said that, I married against my dads advice and It got me a lifetime of misery. :)
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 07:04 PM
i have to questions, should i carry on being in contact with him?
and is it wrong that i have hope tht we will get married?

Asalamaleikum
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Kittygyal
05-28-2007, 07:09 PM
Originally Posted by Salma13
i have to questions, should i carry on being in contact with him?
and is it wrong that i have hope tht we will get married?

Asalamaleikum
Salamualikum.
As you have said 'i have hope tht we will get married', you never know my beloved sister things work out dull aswel i would firmly sugest you to stay away from him our go and ask for marriage if not then stay away inshallah. Sowiee if am acting all bigheaded but you do know being in contact with opposite gender is a big sin indeed and actually the third person with you at that moment of time is satan. A'oothubullah. May Allah subhwnatallah forgive us all inshallah. amin
Ma'assalama
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souloftym
05-28-2007, 07:09 PM
pray the salah isthikhara. it is best to ask Allah's opinions on this matter!
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Dagless
05-28-2007, 07:14 PM
Sorry this doesn't really answer your question since I am not one to give religious advice... but if you are serious and intend to get married in a year then just get engaged now. That way you can talk to each other without feeling guilty.
Get over this fear of telling your parents. You'll have to tell them eventually anyway so just tell them now. Get engaged. Live happily ever after.
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Kittygyal
05-28-2007, 07:20 PM
Salamualikum.
^ I want to add why get engaged now and not get married? okay some people have family problems and other things but if you are afraid of telling ya parents then i suppose they may think you are waiting for there decision or something. Better to tell them NOW before it's too late inshallah. Beacuse trust once you lost your family's trust then thats it it's over. So please step forward and speak aloud inshallah. Better to do it for Allah subhnwatallah's sake. It's the confidence you need my sister so go ahead and speak aloud and tell them you know this dude and you want to get married to him in a orderly islamicly manner inshallah, beacuse you know what your doing is wrong so please do whats best for Allah subhnwatallah and your parents inshallah.
Ma'assalama
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souloftym
05-28-2007, 07:21 PM
but firstly ask Allah's opinions on this . whoever this brother is, he might not be your soulmate. be wise, u sre here for praising Allah and Allah only. do not be astrayed.
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 08:01 PM
thanku all for ur advise, but i guess its easier sed then dun!
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 08:02 PM
just feel weak at the moment
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Kittygyal
05-28-2007, 08:10 PM
Salamualikum.
Your right my sister indeed it's easier said then done. Remember no one can force you we can't do that over NET and belive me you over NET you can't get the best advice nor comfort so i sugest you to make your first move by having trust in your parents and your self and speaking aloud. If you can do that belive me you will be fine inshallah, just have that little confidence in your inner inshallah. If you don't have the confidence to tell ya parents then tell the dude you like to tell his parents to come to your house inshallah.

I know how you feel been there done that but there's always hope inshallah. At this moment of time ask allah the Alimghty to help you inshallah. Make enough dua'ah as you can inshallah.
May Allah subhwnatallah make it easier for you inshallah Amin.
Ma'assalama
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 08:28 PM
thankyou for your advice, but hey lets face it things are easier sed then dun, my parents are like typical asians, it wud kill them if i told them, i jus feel so lost in wat to do, i have becum so close to this brother! i guess i would jus have to break his heart and let it go! :(
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 08:29 PM
its my parents happiness or my own, parents come first hey!
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 08:31 PM
oh i just saw that post noe from kittygyal, his an orphan, but his foster sister knows bou me.
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Salma13
05-28-2007, 08:32 PM
i have no 1 else to talk to thats why i resoted to the net!
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00:00
05-28-2007, 09:47 PM
Have you told your parents about it, don't just say oh they gonna kill me, ask them how they'd feel, and if they agree marry him. if not. then inshallah allah s.w.t will bles you with someone else who probbaly will be far better than the other bro. have patience.
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