Haram wedding attendence.

[Strzelecki]

So my brother is engaged at the moment, and no doubt it will most likely [I think] be a Catholic wedding [If there's such a thing].
And this got my brain going [Yes; I hate when my brain does that. ARRRGGGHH!] say a re[con]vert's brother or sister was to get married and the wedding would be following the traditions of another religion.
Would it be haram for the re[con]vert to play a role, or even attend the wedding?

[Umu 'Isa]

Wow :D

5 days and no one replied.

Here you go, I found this fatwa on islamqa.com

Question:
Alhamdulillah, I am a convert to Islam. My family are still, however, christian. My brother is getting married and this involves a religious service in a church followed by a meal. I have told my family that I cannot partake in the religious service. I wish to know if Islam allows me to attend the meal with my wife and child, where some alcohol may be served to some christians with the meal. If it is not allowed then what advice can you give me. Please give the answer with evidence.
The issue is of great importance since I have been estranged from my father (by his choice) for 7 years and I am trying to invite them to Islam.
Jazakallah khayran

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

1. We praise Allaah for having guided you to Islam and we ask Him to complete His favour by helping you to be steadfast and by guiding your family to Islam.

2. You are doing the right thing by not attending the religious service in the church, because taking part in religious proceedings of non-Muslims is, at the very least, a major sin, and could lead to kufr.

3. With regard to attending your brother’s wedding party where alcohol will be served with the food, we advise you not to take part as you say. Attending such parties is haraam and is a major sin. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):“… then after the remembrance sit not in the company of those people who are the zaalimoon (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.)” [al-An’aam 6:68].

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by feeling that it is wrong] – and that is the weakest of faith.” (Narrated by Muslim, 49).

When you take part in such events, you will not be able to change the evil actions with your hand or your tongue – in most cases – so all you can do is change it with your heart, and you cannot be really doing so if you are taking part.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not sit at a table where wine is being drunk.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 14241, and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel, 7/6).

The reason why it is forbidden – as it appears – is that sitting with them implies that you condone the evil action.

4. Apart from the fact that these things are forbidden, if the brother makes these compromises, this will weaken his efforts to call his family to Islam. The more sincere the daa’iyah is towards himself and to His Lord, the stronger his efforts to call others will be. But if he compromises and vacillates, this will make him look less trustworthy in the eyes of others.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid


http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?re...slim%20wedding

I hope that helped insha Allaah :D

[guyabano]

ok, let me get this right !

In Islam, everyboody call each other Brother and sister? But your 'REAL' Brother in Blood, you must ignore now, just because you have a different belief now?
A marriage is something important in a life of a person and it needs the presence of his close family. You want to be happy for him, right? So join the feast !

And by the way:

and I am trying to invite them to Islam.

And after that, you like to invite them to islam?? Hahaha ! You excell with your non-presence of your brothers wedding than you expect to invite them to islam?

And then, just after I post my comment here, I found this in another thread:

4. non-Muslims are allowed on Muslim weddings

Now, what is that? Muslims are not allowed to attend Non-Muslim marriages but other way, it is ok ?

[Malaikah]

No, guyabano, you got it all wrong.

The reason he can't go is NOT "just because" he is a Muslim and the family is not, but because the wedding contains things that Muslims are not allowed to expose them selves too.

Take your anti-Islamic tirade somewhere else.

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[guyabano]

No, guyabano, you got it all wrong.

The reason he can't go is NOT "just because" he is a Muslim and the family is not, but because the wedding contains things that Muslims are not allowed to expose them selves too.

Take your anti-Islamic tirade somewhere else.

Brap Brap Brap. What are those 'THINGS' ? Alcohol ? Well, nobody force him to drink it. So what then ?

PS: I'm neutral, or does this automatically mean I'm anti-islamic? What is that for an narrow-minded view?

[Malaikah]

Yeh, that was so neutral.:rollseyes

It isn't allowed for Muslims to attend gatherings where alcohol is served, especially in such large amounts. There will also be other forbidden things such as music and dancing.

[syilla]

and free mixing...

[Umu 'Isa]

Guyabano - The hadeeth states clearly that a Muslim cannot be anywhere where there is alcohol..

There is a lot of fitnah (trials) at places like this for a Muslim, such as half naked women, alcohol, drunk people.. it is definitely not a place for someone who fears Allaah to go.

Whether you like it or not, this is Islaam. And this is an islamic forum, so take your criticisms elsewhere. Thanks.

[guyabano]

Yeh, that was so neutral.:rollseyes

It isn't allowed for Muslims to attend gatherings where alcohol is served, especially in such large amounts. There will also be other forbidden things such as music and dancing.

You speak like George Bush: 'Or you are with me, or you are aginst me'. There is no other alternative.

I read this thread, I got a question, I discover a controverse and I ask about.
I got no constructive answer execpt 'there are THINGS'. And for the rest, only insulting words. I hope, not all muslims are like you ladies.

So my turn to be sarcastic: If you cannot drink alcohol (even moderate) neither dance or listen to music than I get curious to see a muslim marriage. According to your words then, it must look like a funeral

[chacha_jalebi]

muslim weddin are normal but we dont see the need to get drunk and dance, because we are civilized:p

in islam alchohol is haraam, end off. if you wan drink, get drunk do things your totally unaware of cos your drunk, then die of a liver problem dats your choice:p

in your view fun is drinkin n dancin. and all i can say to that is hah you sad individual:p

[iwuvaziaf]

So my turn to be sarcastic: If you cannot drink alcohol (even moderate) neither dance or listen to music than I get curious to see a muslim marriage. According to your words then, it must look like a funeral

comparison of a wedding and a funeral

except everyone isnt wearing black with fancy hats and people also talk and laugh and present gifts.. quite different to a funeral.. last time i heard of a funeral service... it was a pretty sad atomsphere! oh yeah! last but not least.. ppl do not shed tears (unless its a pakistani wedding), then the girl cries... and it isnt coz sum1 passes away at the end of the ceremony.. :-[

[chacha_jalebi]

and in many christian ceremonies we all know they play the piano lol, so what diff between your weddins and funeral:p braaaap:D

[guyabano]

muslim weddin are normal

Ok, please describe 'Normal' ! Hey, muslims seem to think binary. It's either white or black. Why you all think, that when somebody drink a glass of red wine or champagne, he's drunk?
Me, personnally, I don't drink alcohol. Yes, no kidding. I prefer a good o-juice, or fruit cocktail, or whatever.
But I like to swing with the mood. If people sing, I sing too, if they dance I follow the rythm too.
Now what is wrong with that? It seems like people in Islam are forbidden to be happy!

[chacha_jalebi]

gaybuyano :D

But I like to swing with the mood. If people sing, I sing too, if they dance I follow the rythm too.

so you like to follow the pack eh? lol are you scared if you dont you will be left out and called a outcast:p

It seems like people in Islam are forbidden to be happy

is your idea of fun is dancin, being drunk and mixin with complete strangers?

we have fun, but in acceptable ways

i.e - we can go to partys where there is no un islamicness, i.e - wine, dancin, free mixin. we can bust jokes, we can laugh, the thin that people like you cant comprehend is the fact that muslims seem so happy and they dont do no crap!!

like you lot have to dress up, and have a pint:p and in your eyes your havin fun, and you know your jus tryin to make others happy and not yaself!

imagine your sister or mother was dancin and a complete stranger came up to her and start dancin, next to her, would you say "oh look shes having fun" :D b honest? you wouldnt say that

islam stops such a situation from arisin in the 1st place, we have segregation, we dont dance in public with strangers, we dont drink!! simple and we still have fun, now its obvious which lifestyle is better :D ALLAH HU AKBAR:D

[S_87]

ok, let me get this right !

In Islam, everyboody call each other Brother and sister? But your 'REAL' Brother in Blood, you must ignore now, just because you have a different belief now?
A marriage is something important in a life of a person and it needs the presence of his close family. You want to be happy for him, right? So join the feast !

And by the way:



?

Peace

actually if the whole family is muslim yet the wedding is haraam a person should still not join in the feast. a haraam wedding is a haraam wedding regardless of the fact that a muslim or non muslim is hosting it.

and Allah knows best

[guyabano]

gaybuyano :D




so you like to follow the pack eh? lol are you scared if you dont you will be left out and called a outcast:p



is your idea of fun is dancin, being drunk and mixin with complete strangers?

we have fun, but in acceptable ways

i.e - we can go to partys where there is no un islamicness, i.e - wine, dancin, free mixin. we can bust jokes, we can laugh, the thin that people like you cant comprehend is the fact that muslims seem so happy and they dont do no crap!!

like you lot have to dress up, and have a pint:p and in your eyes your havin fun, and you know your jus tryin to make others happy and not yaself!

imagine your sister or mother was dancin and a complete stranger came up to her and start dancin, next to her, would you say "oh look shes having fun" :D b honest? you wouldnt say that

islam stops such a situation from arisin in the 1st place, we have segregation, we dont dance in public with strangers, we dont drink!! simple and we still have fun, now its obvious which lifestyle is better :D ALLAH HU AKBAR:D

Well, I will end this discussion with the words: Different cultures/religions, different way of lives. Well I'm happy the way I live, and I hope so you will too.
What you call 'which lifestyle is better' is your and ONLY your opinion.
I'm just too sad, that noone could ever answer me my initial question why non-muslims can attend a muslim wedding but not reverse.
I call that old fashioned and narrow-minded.

End of topic - at least for me-

[chacha_jalebi]

well if that was ya intial question, then why make statements like muslims cant have fun! get me:shade:

your endin the discussion because you lost:p

[Umu 'Isa]

Guyabano...

Your question has already been answered by almost everyone who has posted here.. A muslim cannot attend a haraam wedding. Like Amani said whether it is a haraam muslim wedding or a haraam non muslim wedding. We cannot attend it. End of story.

Now I have not been to many muslim weddings, but the ones I have been to.. It has been quite fun! It is segregated. We play halal nasheeds.. which only has the duff (drum thing) and people do dance to that (I think some scholars say dancing is not allowed for women, coz it may cause jealousy or she might describe the woman to her husband).. Or the women who was beating the duff got up and sung. But it is only halaal if we are sure no men can hear.. so it quite the opposite of a funeral :D

[syilla]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrEaCiAkcjk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-dlnkH4SQs

this the akad neekah...but not the walimaahh...
wait till i find the walimahh

[syilla]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuYbP07ltn4

found one...

:)

[guyabano]

.... because you lost:p

So, this what you think its all about? Loose and win? I don't like to loose, neither is it important here to win.
I just gain some new info in this thread which makes me feel upset.
Muslims set the priority to religion instead of family. And nobody should deny this one now here because it has been said not to attend his brothers wedding, supposed to be the happiest day in his brother's life. And he wonders, why his family is against islam. Well this should be reason enough !

And for the videos, when I saw that, I had a good chuckle . Guess what, on all the videos, I didn't see only one smiling face !! Horrible, as if everybody is about to cry.
Well, enjoy !

Sorry, but I couldn't keep my promise not to post anymore.

[Malaikah]

Muslims set the priority to religion instead of family.

You will find that people of other religions act the same way.

There is no obedience to the creation that is disobedience to the Creator.

[guyabano]

You will find that people of other religions act the same way.

There is no obedience to the creation that is disobedience to the Creator.

No !

[iwuvaziaf]

Hi there..

I hope you dont mind but if i may step in and clarify some things..

Firstly! it goes against us to have big wedding functions where money has been spent endlessly.. rather if we can spare that money, we should spend in the way of the Allah! by giving charity, helping poor people.. obviously charity starts with family so you can start with supporting your brother, sister immediate family and then if u still have spare cash u give it outside of family.. (charity never stops for a muslim)

Ayah261 “ The parable of those who spend their substance in the way of Allah is that of a grain of corn: it grows seven ears, and each ear has a hundred grain. Allah gives manifold increase to whom He pleases: and Allah cares for all and He knows all things.”

So, i hope u can see that spending in the way of Allah, not only gives us reward in the hereafter but the little we do spend doubles itself (InshaAllah). You wont disagree with me that enourmous amounts of money is spent on wedding ceremonies even if it is a day function.. unlike the pakistani version which lasts 3 days even over 2 week period, little group gatherings every other night.... Anyway, forget that! just an example of how much gets spent.. ppl feel obligated to spend, whether they have money or not..how? borrowing, getting loans, using the over-draft.. yes! now, you know that happens too because almost all weddings have the bride+groom outfits, a venue, additional costs (flowers, food, decoration, service) after party, the travel, getting groomed and honeymoon... its a long struggle to return to normal state. (not forgetting putting a strain on the marriage.. depending on how individuals cope - bad way to start a marriage isnt it?)

Now wot would u do if you die in between that period.. of borrowing and returning... ur funeral prayers cant be sed for u if you are in debt... but what if all ur other family members r in debt too.. wot a sad state!

Now if a family member of yours does something so awful, like do a strip show at ur local club.. would u carry on going there? would u stop them? u know by going there u encourage them... anyway! it was an extreme example but i couldnt think of something that might discourage u.. modesty/simplicity must by maintained at all times.. be it through weddings or funerals..

I'm not saying going to ur non-muslim brother's wedding is bad.. but it shows encouragement.. it may be the happiest day of his life but rather be there through the rest of his happy years then to see one happy day and the rest burdened - him being a slave to money!

There are threads which can clarify this for u.. and i am not the best at explaining but i'm trying.. i hope u can see it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuYbP07ltn4

and yes, this is not the best of the videos.. but this is the nikah ceremonies where our imam pronouces them husband and wife.. I think through english wedding when the couple's vows r being read.. no1 is doing the bungy-jumping.. its a time to purely think and ponder over what a marriage is... i.e. a refreshment for the married ones and a reminder of the responsibility/commitment for the unmarried one. We make du'a (for the couple).. could anything better be done?

I'm sorry if i offended u..

Peace out!

[guyabano]

Hi there..

I hope you dont mind but if i may step in and clarify some things..

Firstly! it goes against us to have big wedding functions where money has been spent endlessly.. rather if we can spare that money, we should spend in the way of the Allah! by giving charity, helping poor people.. obviously charity starts with family so you can start with supporting your brother, sister immediate family and then if u still have spare cash u give it outside of family.. (charity never stops for a muslim)



So, i hope u can see that spending in the way of Allah, not only gives us reward in the hereafter but the little we do spend doubles itself (InshaAllah). You wont disagree with me that enourmous amounts of money is spent on wedding ceremonies even if it is a day function.. unlike the pakistani version which lasts 3 days even over 2 week period, little group gatherings every other night.... Anyway, forget that! just an example of how much gets spent.. ppl feel obligated to spend, whether they have money or not..how? borrowing, getting loans, using the over-draft.. yes! now, you know that happens too because almost all weddings have the bride+groom outfits, a venue, additional costs (flowers, food, decoration, service) after party, the travel, getting groomed and honeymoon... its a long struggle to return to normal state. (not forgetting putting a strain on the marriage.. depending on how individuals cope - bad way to start a marriage isnt it?)

Now wot would u do if you die in between that period.. of borrowing and returning... ur funeral prayers cant be sed for u if you are in debt... but what if all ur other family members r in debt too.. wot a sad state!

Now if a family member of yours does something so awful, like do a strip show at ur local club.. would u carry on going there? would u stop them? u know by going there u encourage them... anyway! it was an extreme example but i couldnt think of something that might discourage u.. modesty/simplicity must by maintained at all times.. be it through weddings or funerals..

I'm not saying going to ur non-muslim brother's wedding is bad.. but it shows encouragement.. it may be the happiest day of his life but rather be there through the rest of his happy years then to see one happy day and the rest burdened - him being a slave to money!

There are threads which can clarify this for u.. and i am not the best at explaining but i'm trying.. i hope u can see it!



and yes, this is not the best of the videos.. but this is the nikah ceremonies where our imam pronouces them husband and wife.. I think through english wedding when the couple's vows r being read.. no1 is doing the bungy-jumping.. its a time to purely think and ponder over what a marriage is... i.e. a refreshment for the married ones and a reminder of the responsibility/commitment for the unmarried one. We make du'a (for the couple).. could anything better be done?

I'm sorry if i offended u..

Peace out!

Thanks for the clarifing and good explanation.

Now what would then people think about this. 2 Girls dance while men stuff money in their shirts.See the video here:[
VIDEO LINK REMOVED. DO NOT POST SUCH INAPPROPRIATE CONTEXT!] Might contain offensive pictures. So decide wisely, if you like to watch it or not

Is that also common on muslim weddings?

[united]

i think it doesnt matter whether the wedding if of muslims or non-muslims. if its unislamic you dont go. ive walked out of many a so called "muslim" weddings and my dad refused to attend his brothers wedding because it was unislamic (btw his brother is a muslim and he was marrying another muslim).

[Malaikah]

Now what would then people think about this. 2 Girls dance while men stuff money in their shirts.See the video here[VIDEO LINK REMOVED. DO NOT POST SUCH INAPPROPRIATE CONTEXT!]iraqi wedding party ? Might contain offensive pictures. So decide wisely, if you like to watch it or not

Is that also common on muslim weddings?

I hope it isn't. :exhausted

Not all Muslim weddings follow Islamic guidelines... :rollseyes

[iwuvaziaf]

Astaghfirullah!

Is that also common on muslim weddings?

common in a "muslim" wedding, corrupted by the media, following indian (hindu) tradition = yes
common in a muslim wedding (real muslim wedding) = no

There are people who call themselves muslims and follow certain traditions which they enjoy! Corruption amongst muslim nations is commonly known. It is because they do not fear Allah.. they say they believe but they dont because if they did then.. they would accept islam past the declaration "Ashhadu anna la ilaaha illa Allah, wa ashhadu anna Muhammadin(SAW) rasul Allah" I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, I bear witness that Muhammed is the Messenger of Allah.

If you click here, it may clarify some of the ideas you picked up about muslim wedding ceremonies from the website, which you posted previously.

Narrated Anas: When 'Abdur-Rahman came to us, the Prophet established a bond of brotherhood between him and Sa'd bin Ar-Rabi'. Once the Prophet said, "As you (O 'Abdur-Rahman) have married, give a wedding banquet even if with one sheep." '"
[Bukhari]

please note, this is from the husband's side... and it is the sunnah of the Prophet to annouce the marriage after nikah, once consummated (am abit confused on this part) by giving a feast.. u may say this is a contradiction of what i said about thinking of poor when spending but all luxuries are avoided this way because

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) also said:
'The worst of the feasts are those marriage feasts to which the rich are invited and the poor are left out". (Mishkat)

"...and he who refuses to accept an invitation to a marriage feast, verily disobeys Allah and His Prophet". (Ahmad & Abu Dawood)

Muslims set the priority to religion instead of family. And nobody should deny this one..

Taken from islamonline.net: -

Question - As-salamu `alaykum. I am new Muslim and I am living with my Christian family in a non-Muslim society. My family is celebrating Christmas and I want to ask if it is wrong for me to attend their celebration.

Answer - Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

You are allowed to partake of their feasts and celebrations so long as you stay away from their specific religious rituals, and so long as you are clear in your mind that Christmas has nothing to do with the original teaching of Jesus, peace be upon him.

While remaining steadfast to your beliefs about Jesus, you are allowed to join them in their feasts in order to reciprocate kindness with kindness.

Islam is not giving priority to religion over family.. it is balancing both! no1 should be punished for what their family believes just like i am accountable for my actions and only mine.. unless my actions r influencing others to behave in an unislamic way.. especially if it is something which i am aware of and do not change...

Prophet Muahmmad (SAW) said: “Whoever among you sees an evil act, let him change it with his hand (by taking action); if he cannot, then with his tongue (by speaking out); and if he cannot, then with his heart (by at least hating it and regarding it as evil) – but that is the weakest of faith.” Narrated by Muslim, 48.

leme not get off topic... i hope my post clarifies a few things about what you saw.. and please, do not believe everything you see.. Some people do not represent religion in the best way.

Peace out..