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Ferrari1981
06-02-2007, 12:19 AM
How do you lose you low self-esteem?
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'Abd al-Baari
06-02-2007, 12:21 AM
:sl:

Do something helpful and make yourself proud of yourself....maybe...?
Inshallah
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Ferrari1981
06-02-2007, 12:32 AM
Originally Posted by Abdullah2907
:sl:

Do something helpful and make yourself proud of yourself....maybe...?
Inshallah
Jazakallah I do try though :( its not working

its like i can be happy for just a moment... then it all vanishes
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'Abd al-Baari
06-02-2007, 12:35 AM
:sl:

Maybe you could try to just sit and read the Quran for a bit
It always helps me
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snakelegs
06-02-2007, 12:38 AM
low self-esteem is pretty serious and can be very destructive.
i suggest you set yourself a challenge (not too big to start out with) so that when you meet it, you will feel better about yourself and gradually gain confidence.
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Hashim_507
06-02-2007, 12:42 AM
Dont self-hate yourself or degrade yourself when a person criticise you for your mistakes. Dont believe what people judge you or when they put you down.
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جوري
06-02-2007, 01:23 AM
wow akhi... I am sorry you are so troubled... I don't know how you are assessing your self image, but I am pretty sure with time, you'll come to feel really great about yourself. I have always found that keeping a diary helps, like a silent friend. who knows your vulnerabilities and strengths, your creativity and the duds that you are glad are hidden from others. It is uniquely personal and supremely comforting-- you can every day before bed, write five things about you throughout the day that have made you feel proud, even if it is just making your prayers on time, which is no small feat as Allah describes in his noble book. And by same token right 5 things about you that you'd like to change and what you plan to do to change them.... in time you'll have grown in talent, self-reflection, and esteem. We all go through periods where we feel self-doubt and even hatred. Bas sonhan Allah, Allah must love you for you are here, and the chance of you happening is one/over the population of all the people since the beginning of man-kind. None other is you... And that is very special...

All the best
:w:
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Ferrari1981
06-02-2007, 01:02 PM
First of all Id like to thank all of you who have replied to this...

Secondly Id like to add that its not that I feel I have low self esteem but my cousin said to me yesterday in order for you to ever be with someone special you need to lose your low self esteem to begin with...

I wasnt quite sure what he meant you see I have a successful education so far though I could do with a better job. I am able to socialise with the right intentions and understand the world at my opportunity.

I try not to let people get to me but doesnt always work, its not what they think about me but how they approach me...

I do have a dairy and I sometimes talk to myself as a way of being positive, but being happy isnt always there, being happy only stays with me for a certain time then it vanishes...

I dont understand whats wrong...
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00:00
06-02-2007, 01:27 PM
...........
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Ferrari1981
06-02-2007, 01:37 PM
What is low self esteem in Islam then and how do you deal with it?
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Kittygyal
06-02-2007, 02:31 PM
Originally Posted by Abdullah2907
:sl:

Maybe you could try to just sit and read the Quran for a bit
It always helps me
Salamualikum.
Best advice ever :thumbs_up

Also just sit down for abit and do dua'ah and cry infront of ya lord and let it all out. It works.
Ma'assalama
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Muezzin
06-02-2007, 03:04 PM
You're feeling down because someone said you have to lose your low self-esteem if you want to be special?

Firstly, before this person said this, did you feel down or anything like that?

Secondly, what makes you think you're not special right now? :)

I see you keep a diary. That's good. Writing can be a form of therapy. Lord knows it helps me! :p Try writing a story or poem, or maybe drawing or painting. Doing something creative, looking at it and being proud of what you've accomplished is great to drag people out of the dumps :)
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جوري
06-02-2007, 03:59 PM
I don't think you should hang yourself worth so to speak, on your cousins's observation. "A man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away"-- just be happy with you-- you can't please everyone, and I think it rather detrimental to give yourself to someone else no matter how close they are to you, Don't hand your destiny, decision making, or self worth to another human being's opinion or observation-- I promise you that is the road to unhappiness....
:w:
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rahimah
06-02-2007, 04:24 PM
Aww lemmie offer my help dear brother,

When one's self-esteem is low, he feel depressed and hopeless. He see life negatively. everything seems difficult and too much of a trouble. The world feels like a bad place, full of people who will abuse or ignore him, and he feels that he is unable to do anything about it. He sees himself as a victim. It can result from a traumatic childhood experience, a sense of powerlessness or even ill physical health. The first step is to realise what he are facing and you have done just that.

To lose low self esteem...One has to be self aware of his strengths and weaknesses and set his goals to match.
He has to let go of the past. For example, review your past and forgive those who have hurt you.
Then forgive yourself for those whom you have hurt. Then think about your past experiences and try to learn from them. And most importantly Farooq do not let any past experiences blockk your future successes.
One has to find positive ways to look at life to lose low self-esteem. Focus of your good qualities. One important note is to not allow others to criticize you in unhelpful ways.
Allow yourself to feel good about yourself and others. Maybe u can try doing activities that you enjoy.
U also need self- recognition. Congratulate yourself for any kind of positive progress you make. Do your best in everything that you do and forgive yourself when you make a mistake.

And of course ask Allah (swt) for guidance . in the end he is the only one who can help you. because he knows more about u than you know about yourself.
We are meant to learn from the hardships and struggles that we endure. we should gain wisdom through hardships. Our life struggles help us to appreciate what we have.Allah doesnt give us more than we can handle. Allah (swt) doesnt change a condition of a people unless they themselves change first. (frm ahadith)
Whenever the Holy Prophet (saw) was worried or faced a difficult situation, he would engage in Salat. (Abu Daud)
Good faith is to be able to say alhamdulillah in good times and in hard times. Allah knows best. if you remain patient and obedient to Allah, your reward in the akhira is eternal.
So brother i hope i was able to help you,
Ya allah, enlighten our path when darkness overcomes us. give us the the courage to face our mistakes and change.. give us patience to travel through this world .. because in the end, jannah will be our destination insahallah. ya raheen ya kareem.. ya allah.
MAY ALLAH'S MERCY BE ON ALL OF OUR MUSLIM BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

rahimah
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glo
06-02-2007, 04:46 PM
Originally Posted by Ferrari1981
How do you lose you low self-esteem?
Believe that you are God's creation, that you are wonderfully made and that he has created you for a purpose ...
Make yourself aware of your own interests, skills and giftings - chances are those are areas in which God wants to use you!

It doesn't matter how other people rate you. What matters is what God has for you!

If you are not sure, then pray, pray, and then pray some more! :)

Peace
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strider
06-02-2007, 06:39 PM
Believe in yourself.
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iqbal_soofi
06-02-2007, 09:57 PM
Originally Posted by Ferrari1981
How do you lose you low self-esteem?
It's the part of our iman to lose our self esteem. We've to blame ourselves for whatever we never did. Those who really played a big part to lead us away from Islam can never be blamed. We lose our iman if we put the blame honestly on those who did it. Therefore we're told to lose our self esteem or our iman-dari (honesty) for the sake of our iman.
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