Originally Posted by tears4husain
This really is a messy situation you are in.
I sense that you really aren't clear in our own heart as to what you want. Much of what you write sounds contradictory ...
She is really trying to make things works now but I question her sincereness.
Its killing me because she is now learning about Islam and im pround of her and I dream of the day we pray together. Now im lost because I told her I will give her another chance, but I really dont think it will work
Even with the other woman she said she will learn about Islam, but I really think its just to confort me and I dont want that.
How is the marriage counselling going with the imam?
Have you tried 1:1 counselling to work through your own feelings about this?
In my experience people often go through a 'honeymoon period' after they take on a new religion. They feel elated and like 'everything will be alright'.
After a while that feeling wears off, and the realisation hits that we still have to work hard on our faith, on our relationships, on our lifestyle etc.
It isn't all going to happen as if by magic!
You and your wife will have to work hard on your marriage, if you both want to make it work. You will have to be clear about your feelings, and able to share them honestly and openly.
Another thought I have, is that your wife seems to have forgiven you (at least she says so) ... but have you forgiven her for her mistakes? Are you holding grudges? Are you, deep down, blaming her for the hardship in your life?
Search you heart ...
I also strongly suggest that you stay away from the other woman, at least until you have made a clear decision about your present marriage.
Wishing you peace