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tryinghard
06-05-2007, 12:46 AM
I'm a college student who lives far away from home and therefore, has to live in a dorm. There are some Muslim kids, but not that many, and most of my friends including dorm mates are non-Muslims. Most of the people I know drink and do drugs and go clubbing. And, I know this is haraam, but I'm beginning to feel pressured to participate in these activities. I don't want to, but everyone around me is like "you have to have fun,"/ "you don't know how to have fun." How do I resist peer pressure without feeling isolated from everyone around me? I know this should not be an issue, but it's hard being a muslim college student living far away from home. Any advice?
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Abdul Fattah
06-05-2007, 03:03 PM
Well first off all you need to know your priorities. For example if your priority is the afterlife, and you want to do well as a muslim, then that means that you won't be compatible with everyone, and that means in some cases you will get isolated. That's just the way it is. That being said, your situation isn't hopeless, and I'm sure there's plenty of things you could do/say to have them accept you for who you are. You just have to put your foot down and show that you won't have it any other way. And then the choice is up to them, either they leave you alone, or they accept that you put religion before "fun". B.t.w I can tell you, it's not that funny as they make it sound. In fact your better of without it, and I'm sure that by saying no to these things you'll be able to "enjoy" your life a lot more in the long run, as opposed to an addict.
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BanGuLLy
06-05-2007, 03:11 PM
lol I was in this position a year ago...until I got arrested and learned a BIG lesson... Trust me dont focus on them.. let them be.. if they are really close.. try to change them... always be yourself.. I chose the right friends and gave up the negative ones.. I only focus on my school now.. and only my closest friends... Chillin with negative peers will get you no where.. forget about them..
I bought a book called: The Teenager's Guide to the Real World by Marshall Brain
Its a book about how to become a successful adult..
and it says a lot of truth in it.. and it says Adults are more important than peers... follow what an adult does.. like 30 years or older.. Becuz adults rule the world.. these peers dont rule ****..so follow successful adults rather than peers..
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jannat
06-05-2007, 03:29 PM
:sl:

i hope ur well and in the best of health inshallah. it is sad to hear that u r going through this, but inshallah allah will help you as long as you ask for his forgiveness and guidance. my advice will be to:

stay away as much as possible from this, Tell these people how you feel! seriously. Make yourself heard!
we live in the west and there idea of fun is to drink and party all night, tell them that this is not ur idea of fun. if u keep away and make ur self heard they will get the message inshallah!
keep your self occupied, it is laziness and the evil whispers of shaytan which want us to follow this way of living. Find things to do.. whether its to read a book, play sport, try to make new friends, but something which will keep you away from such things.
Remember Allah and ask for his guidance and make sincere dua to him inshallah. Remember u r bein tested , how strong r u to refrain from these things? remember u will be asked abt ur actions and if one follows the way of the non muslim then, one will be incredibly ashamed in front of his creator and the messenger(S.A.W).
Keep in contact with family members/friends, speak to them on a regular basis, its important not to forget them, u never know they might help immensely.

i am sure that u r in a difficult situation and many ppl r in the same situation, unfortunately many muslims follow the non muslims. it is an inner struggle but if u are determind to fight this u will not fail... May allah tala make it easy for u inshallah and i hope that the advice i provided is useful inshallah.

Take care and think twice before u do anyfin, U have to impress Allah and not the ppl.
Good Luck !!:thumbs_up
:w:
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tryinghard
06-30-2007, 10:17 PM
Asaluma alaikum,
thank you so much for all the replies, especially Jannat. You have made me feel so much better and have given invaluable advice
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vorx
07-06-2007, 06:54 AM
Originally Posted by tryinghard
I'm a college student who lives far away from home and therefore, has to live in a dorm. There are some Muslim kids, but not that many, and most of my friends including dorm mates are non-Muslims. Most of the people I know drink and do drugs and go clubbing. And, I know this is haraam, but I'm beginning to feel pressured to participate in these activities. I don't want to, but everyone around me is like "you have to have fun,"/ "you don't know how to have fun." How do I resist peer pressure without feeling isolated from everyone around me? I know this should not be an issue, but it's hard being a muslim college student living far away from home. Any advice?
From my own experience:

If you never smoked pot then know that it makes you self aware, relaxed, prone to enjoying arts and things, and eat good. The con parts are it makes you lazy and screws your memory for a while. I suggest you do it responsibly. Under the drug, an orgasm feels a lot better than 10 orgasms but i know people that had unwanted children because of that. So careful lol

If you never drunk alcohol before then consider the following. Never mix alcoholic drinks because it gets you drunker and the hangovers are even worse. Drinking makes you very emotional and the feeling of bravery and not caring to get hit by a bus is something to seriously consider. The worst of drinking happens few hours after the drinking itself and you will have bad hangovers. That means your body will be weak and dehydrated. The headaches are just terrible. So don't even do that. The only Good part is that it makes ugly looking girls more attractive. So careful there.

So think my friend. Why would you want to do these things? Will it make the company even more enjoyable? Absolutely yes! BUT... your health and critical judgement is at risk.

Make a choice. Live with it.

P.S: Just in case you party hardcore and you think it is time to calm down do it. You dont want to waste your life on drinking and doing drugs. i am glad i dont drink anymore =)
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E'jaazi
07-06-2007, 06:57 AM
My advice to you is to stay away from these people. Try to find a Masjid near you and spend more time there. People tend to gravitate towards the things they are around.
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vorx
07-06-2007, 06:57 AM
Originally Posted by tryinghard
How do I resist peer pressure without feeling isolated from everyone around me? I know this should not be an issue, but it's hard being a muslim college student living far away from home. Any advice?
Oh and.. You can't make independent social decisions because that will automatically mean you are not part of the group Unless you are Hitler or something... So if you want the group you need to want the drugs and drinking. If you don't want the drugs and the drinking that means you do not belong to the group.

simple. don't be confused.
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