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sheikh nazim
05-19-2005, 02:20 PM
Men and women, although having many aspects in common, also unique characteristics. One such characteristic is that women are a delicate, beautiful, and likable beings. They are charming, attractive, and lovable; whereas men are charmed, attracted by and love women's qualities.


When a man marries a woman, he wishes all his wife's beauty and affection to be reserved for him. He wishes to be the only one who benefits from her charm, affection, c beauty, sense of humour, etc and to strictly avoid men. Man is, by nature, very ardent and intolerant of another man either looking at his wife or having any kind of relationship with her. He would regard a close relationship between his wife and other men to be a violation of his lawful right. He expects his wife to observe Islamic Hijab (statutory Islamic dress for women) and by adapting herself to Islamic behaviour and ethics she cooperates in maintaining his lawful rights.


Any faithful man would have such a wish. A woman's social behaviour, which is based on Islamic ethics, would set her husband's mind at rest; he would then work to provide for his family and his affection for his wife would increase. Such a man would not be attracted to other women. On the other hand if a man whose wife is not concerned with Islamic Hijab and displays her beauty to other men or socializes with them, would seriously become upset. He would regard his wife as responsible for trampling over his rights. Such a husband would always suffer from distress and his love for his family may gradually fade away.


It is therefore in the interest of society and women that they should be dressed modestly and behave humbly; they should appear in public without any make-up and should abstain from showing off their beauty to others. Observing Hijab is an Islamic duty. The Almighty GOD says in the Holy Quran:


"And say to the believing women that they should cast down their looks and guard their private parts, and not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head coverings and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers. or the father of their husbands, their sons. or the sons of their husbands or their brothers or their brother's sons or their sisters' sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known; and turn to Allah all of you, so that you may be successful (24:31)."


Islamic Hijab and in any society is beneficial to women in many aspects:

(1) They can protect both their social worth and inner values much better, and guard themselves against just being an object on display.


(2) They can prove both their faith and love for their husbands more effectively and thus help create and maintain a warm family atmosphere while preventing ill-feelings and family rows. In short, they can win their husband's hearts and establish themselves in their families.


(3) By observing Islamic Hijab, unlawful f looks by such people as oglers would cease and help in lessening the amount of rows, strengthening the family roots, and as a result create an atmosphere of tranquility within its circle.


(4) Islamic Hijab of women would also help prevent young unmarried men, from deviating from the right path. Thus forestalling harm to the young men, which would also benefit the women of the society.


(5) If all women observed the regulation of Islamic Hijab, then all women could rest assured that their husbands, when not at home would not encounter a lewd woman who might draw his attention away from the family.


Islam is aware of woman's specific nature of creation and regards her as a very important base of society with responsibilities towards it. It demands her to make sacrifices to carry out her responsibility by observing Islamic Hijab, which in turn would forestall social corruption and deviation and go a long way in creating stability, security and glorifying her nation. But definitely the greatest reward is with the Almighty GOD for performing her divine duty.


Dear lady! if you are interested in the stability and peace of your family and your husband's continual trust in you; if you are concerned about the social rights of women; if you are interested in the youth's mental health and are worried about their deviation from moral values, if you want to take positive steps towards bringing to a halt the seduction of women by corrupt men; and if you are seeking GOD's satisfaction by being a faithful and sacrificing Muslim; then you should observe Islamic Hijab. You should not display your beauty and adornments to strangers, be it in the house with your close relations or at other social gatherings outside your own home. You must cover yourself before your brothers-in-law and their sons, sister-in-law's husbands, aunts' husbands, and cousins. Being not dressed as per Islamic Hijab before these people is a sin and may also cause great distress to your husband, even though he may never mention it.


A woman is not restricted to covering herself to the same extent before her father-in-law, her own brother, and her nephews, although it is better to observe a certain degree of Islamic Hijab before these people too. In other words women should not appear before these relatives of hers in the same way as she would make herself attractive for her husband. This is because most men dislike their wives to appear attractive by wearing attractive clothes and make up before other men; and of course it should not be forgotten that the tranquility of mind and the trust of a man in his wife is crucial to the survival and security of the whole family.

:)
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Tazkiyahtulnafs
05-19-2005, 02:50 PM
Masha'Allah that was a good post jazaka'Allahu khair for posting that up it was
a good reminder
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h1jabi_sista
05-19-2005, 02:52 PM
^^took the very words right off me!!!!!!!!!! :p

jazakallah brother :thumbs_up

:w:
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Protected_Diamond
05-31-2005, 09:41 AM
:sl: masha Allah this thread motivates muslim girls to wear a hijaab! jazak allah fro that :sister:
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madeenahsh
05-31-2005, 09:48 PM
Asalaam alykum warahmatullahi wabarakhatuh


Indeed, all praises are due to Allaah, we praise Him, seek His Aid and beg for His Forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allaah from the evil in our souls and from the bad consequences of our deeds. Whomever Allaah guides, no one can lead that person astray and whomever Allaah leads astray no one can guide that person. I bear witness that there is nothing worthy of worship except Allaah Who is alone and without any partners and I bear witness that Muhammad (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) is His slave and final Prophet and Messenger sent to mankind.

Certainly the most perfect speech is the Speech of Allaah and the finest guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam). The worst of affairs are those that are innovated into this religion as every innovation is misguidance and every misguidance is astray and every going astray leads to the Hell Fire.

It often occurs to me that many of my sisters in Islam are not properly encouraged once they begin to observe the requirements of Hijab. It may be that a sister has been obliged to wear the Hijab without truly pondering over its superiority. Perhaps she has reached the age of puberty and her Wali (guardian) has instructed her to wear it. Perhaps she has recently re-verted to Islam and her close sisters have told her of its obligation. Or, perhaps her husband has commanded her to wear Hijab. A sister who does not truly know the superiority of Hijab will always remain envious of the women of the Kufar. Why? Because they see these misguided women looking beautiful for all to see. Hence, the Muslim woman then compares herself to that woman which causes her to feel ashamed of her own Hijab.

Therefore, what follows is a reminder for my sisters in Islam. It is a reminder of the true status of these so-called beautiful women. It is a reminder that Hijab will always reign supreme and that the true man (i.e. the Muslim man), will forever be dazzled by the beauty of the Muhijabah (woman who wears the Hijab). --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some Excellent Qualities of Those Who Wear Hijab


Al-Hamdulilah, it is well known that the Muslim woman is a creature of Hayaa (modesty). Allaah (SWT) loves for our Muslim women to be shielded by their Hijab. It is their outer protection from the decadence of this life. Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) has said:

"Verily! Allaah is Hayaa (modest, bashful) & Sitteer (i.e. the One Who Shields - from disobedient acts). He loves Hayaa (i.e. He loves for one to practice modesty and bashfulness) and Siter (shielding; covering)." (Collected by Abu Dawud; An-Nissa’ee; Al-Baihaqee; Ahmad; & in Saheeh An-Nissa’ee)

Thus, as possessing Hayaa is a quality that is beloved by Allaah (SWT) our sisters must feel comfort in knowing that they have this Hayaa and not the women who show themselves to the world; hence, such women will not be shielded from Allaah’s (SWT) Wrath. Allaah’s Messenger (SAWS) said:

"Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her husband’s home (to show off for unlawful purposes), has broken Allaah’s shield upon her." (Collected by Abu Dawud & At-Tirmidhi)

Therefore, we see that the Hijab of the Muslim woman has a quality that comprises Hayaa (modesty). Hayaa is what proceeds from Iman (belief). That is why when Allaah (SWT) commands the women to observe Hijab, Allaah (SWT) says:

"And tell the believing women..." (Surah An-Nur 24:31)
Allaah (SWT) also says:

"...And the women of the believers..." (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:59)
Furthermore, Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said:

"Al-Hayaa (modesty & bashfulness) is from Imam (belief) and Imam is in Al-Jannah (the Paradise)." (At-Tirmidhi - Saheeh)

He (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) also said:

"Hayaa (modesty and bashfulness) and Imam (belief) are fully associated together, if one is lifted the other follows suit." (Narrated by ‘Abd Allaah bin ‘Umar; related by Al-Haakim in his "Mustadrak")

My dear sisters in Islam, know that these women who beautify themselves for the world to see possess no Hayaa; thus, they are void of any Iman. Instead of looking to the latest fashion models for guidance, you, my dear sisters, must look to the wives of the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam). Look at the extreme amount of Hayaa that ‘Aisha bint Abu Bakr (RA) possessed even in the presence of the deceased:

'Aisha (RA) said: "I used to enter the room where the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) and my father (Abu Bakr) were later buried in without having my garment on me, saying it is only my husband and my father. But when ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab (RA) was later buried in (the same place), I did not enter the room except that I had my garment on being shy from ‘Umar." (As-Simt Ath’ameen Fee Maniqib Ummahat Ul-Mu’mineen by Ibn As-Sakir. Al-Haakim brings a similar narration which he says is "good according the conditions of Imaam Bukhari and Imaam Muslim")

My dear sister in Islam, I know that it is quite difficult for you to go out wearing Hijab in a society that mocks and torments you. I know that you, indeed, feel strange and out of place. However, if you knew the status of those who are mocked by the Kufar as well as the status of the strangers, you will continue to wear your Hijab (i.e. to cover your entire body with a Khimar as commanded (24:31), as well as with a Jilbab (33:59), with the exception of the hands and face; however, knowing the recommendation to cover those parts (as well) with dignity. Allaah (SWT) says in His Book:

"Verily! (During the worldly life) those who committed crimes used to laugh at those who believed. And whenever they passed by them, used to wink one to another (in mockery); And when they returned to their own people, they would return jesting; and when they saw them, they said: ‘Verily! These have indeed gone astray!’ But they (disbelievers, sinners) had not been sent as watchers over them (the believers). But on this Day (the Day of Resurrection) those who believe will laugh at the disbelievers. On (high) thrones, looking (at all things). Are not the disbelievers paid (fully) for what they used to do?" (Surah Al-Mutaffifin 83:29-36)

Allaah’s (SWT) words should serve as a support for you my dear sisters. Also, take comfort in being a stranger among these lewd and sinful women. Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said:

"Islam began as something strange, and it would revert to its (old position) of being strange, so good tidings for the strangers." (Narrated by Abu Huraira and Reported Sahih Muslim)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As-Sufoor and It's Characteristics

As-Sufoor means to expose or to un-cover. Therefore, instead of practicing the Hijab (covering), the women of the Kufar practice As-Sufoor. As-Sufoor is sinful as it leads to At-Tabarooj (i.e. to make a dazzling display of oneself). Displaying oneself is a attribute of one who is Jaheel (ignorant). Allaah (SWT) says:

"And stay in your houses and do not display yourselves (At-Tabarooj) like that of the times of ignorance..." (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:33)

Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said:

"The best of your women is the affectionate, the fertile (in productivity), the propitious (favorable), the consultative if they fear Allaah. The most evil of your women are the Mutabar’rijat (those who do At-Tabarooj), the Mutakhayelat (who strut/swagger), and they are the hypocrites. Those who enter Al-Jannah (the Paradise) are like the Cough Crow." (Al-Baihaqi in his "As-Sunan")

My dear sisters in Islam, we see from the above Ayah and Hadith that displaying oneself is indeed Haram. Further, it is a quality of the most evil of women! Therefore, do not be envious of the women of the Kufar. They only have this life to enjoy while the believing women will have Al-Jannah. There is nothing in your Hijab whatsoever to be ashamed of as it is the garment of the righteous and pious female slaves of Allaah (SWT). In order to truly show you how evil those women who make As-Sufoor and At-Tabarooj are, let us ponder over the following statement of Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam):

"Of the people of Hell there are two types whom I have never seen, the one possessing whips like the tail of an Ox and they flog people with them. The second one, women who would be naked in spite of their being dressed, who are seduced (to wrong paths) and seduce others. Their hair is high like the humps (of camels). These women would not get into Al-Jannah (the Paradise) and they would not perceive its odor, although its fragrance can be perceived from such and such a distance." (Sahih Muslim)

Sisters in Islam, these women who practice At-Tabarooj are common among us today. These are women that even the Prophet (SAWS) did not see! Look around you and you will see those women who are clothed but naked! Look at the hair styles of the women who practice At-Tabarooj - are they not high like the camel’s hump? My dear sister, perhaps we are the first generation since the time of the Prophet Adam (AS) to witness such women. If one ponders over photos taken thirty to forty years ago, one will see that the women of the Kufar did not make At-Tabarooj as their offspring do today. These are women who will be in the Hell Fire, save Allaah (SWT) has mercy upon them by guiding them to Islam! Thus, how can you envy them? My brothers, how can you desire them over your creature of Hayaa? These filthy women will not even smell the fragrance of Paradise. This Hadith also shows us that what the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) came with (i.e. the Qur’an and the Sunnah) is the Haqq (truth)! This is a prophecy that has come to pass in front of our very eyes. Hence, will we continue to envy these evil women or be grateful to our Lord for your Hijab which brings Hayaa?

Whatever I have written that is true is from Allaah alone while anything that is false is from myself and shaytan. Subhanaka Allaahummah wa bihamdika, ash hadu an la illaha illa anta, astaghfiruka wa atuboo ilayk
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madeenahsh
05-31-2005, 09:50 PM
Asalaam alykum warahmatualhi wabarakhatuh

The hijab is an act of obedience to Allaah and to his prophet (pbuh), Allaah says in the Qur'an: `It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His messenger have decreed a matter that they should have an option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed in a plain error.' (S33:36).

Allaah also said:

'And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc) and not to show off their adornment except what must (ordinarily) appear thereof, that they should draw their veils over their Juyubihinna.'(S24:31).

Juyubihinna: The respected scholars from As-Salaf As-Saleh (righteous predecessors) differed whether the veil cover of the body must include the hands and face or not. Today, respected scholars say that the hands and face must be covered. Other respected scholars say it is preferable for women to cover their whole bodies.

2. The Hijab is IFFAH (Modesty).

Allaah (subhana wa'atala) made the adherence to the hijab a manifestation for chastity and modesty. Allaah says: 'O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies (when outdoors). That is most convenient that they should be known and not molested.' (S33:59). In the above Ayaah there is an evidence that the recognition of the apparent beauty of the woman is harmful to her. When the cause of attraction ends, the restriction is removed. This is illustrated in the case of elderly women who may have lost every aspect of attraction. Allaah (swt) made it permissible for them to lay aside their outer garments and expose their faces and hands reminding, however, that is still better for them to keep their modesty.

3. The hijab is Tahara (Purity)


Allaah (swt) had shown us the hikma (wisdom) behind the legislation of the hijab: `And when you ask them (the Prophet's wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and their hearts.' (S33:53).

The hijab makes for greater purity for the hearts of believing men and women because it screens against the desire of the heart. Without the hijab, the heart may or may not desire. That is why the heart is more pure when the sight is blocked (by hijab) and thus the prevention of fitna (evil actions is very much manifested. The hijab cuts off the ill thoughts and the greed of the sick hearts:

`Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy or evil desire for adultery, etc) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner.' (S33:32)
.4 The hijab is a Shield [/B


[B]The prophet (pbuh) said: "Allaah, Most High, is Heaven, is Ha'yeii (Bashful), Sit'teer (Shielder). He loves Haya' (Bashfulness) and Sitr (Shielding; Covering)." The Prophet (pbuh) also said: "Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her husband's house (to show off for unlawful purposes), has broken Allaah's shield upon her. "The hadith demonstrates that depending upon the kind of action committed there will be either reward (if good) or punishment (if bad).

5. The hijab is Taqwah (Righteousness)

Allaah (swt) says in the Qur'an: `O children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts, etc) and as an adornment. But the raiment of righteousness, that is better.'(S7:26). The widespread forms of dresses in the world today are mostly for show off and hardly taken as a cover and shield of the woman's body. To the believing women, however the purpose is to safeguard their bodies and cover their private parts as a manifestation of the order of Allaah. It is an act of Taqwah (righteousness).

6. The hijab is Eemaan (Belief or Faith)

Allaah (swt) did not address His words about the hijab except to the believing women, Al-Mo'minat. In many cases in the Qur'an Allaah refers to the "the believing women". Aisha (RA), the wife of the prophet (pbuh), addressed some women from the tribe of Banu Tameem who came to visit her and had light clothes on them, they were improperly dressed: "If indeed you are believing women, then truly this is not the dress of the believing women, and if you are not believing women, then enjoy it."

7. The hijab is Haya' (Bashfulness)

There are two authentic hadith which state: "Each religion has a morality and the morality of Islam is haya'" AND "Bashfulness is from belief, and belief is in Al-Jannah (paradise)". The hijab fits the natural bashfulness which is a part of the nature of women.

8. The hijab is Gheerah

The hijab fits the natural feeling of Gheerah, which is intrinsic in the straight man who does not like people to look at his wife or daughters. Gheerah is a driving emotion that drives the straight man to safeguard women who are related to him from strangers. The straight MUSLIM man has Gheerah for ALL MUSLIM women In response to lust and desire, men look (with desire) at other women while they do not mind that other men do the same to their wives or daughters. The mixing of sexes and absence of hijab destroys the Gheera in men. Islam considers Gheerah an integral part of faith. The dignity of the wife or daughter or any other Muslim woman must be highly respected and defended
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muslimbychoice
08-15-2005, 03:11 PM
:sl:

I'm not sure if SparklLZz has reread the post under "Have You Ever" and since I wrote this in response to her situation, I thought I'd repost it under its proper title so perhaps others in this similar situation can benefit, insha'Allah.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklLZz
Asalaamualaikum

that's really true, im a big sufferer of this, i listen to lectures and read books and Alhamdulillah have changed in alot of ways but one thing i find so difficult is the hijaab. i wear it sometimes and i always love wearing it but i think satan gets to me big time because i dont wear it 24/7 and im really scared to wear it! It really bugs me when people say "excuses excuses", i know satan makes 1000 excuses for one sin... by thats my main problem, I KNOW all of this, despite, i still cant bring myself to wear it! arghhhh!! thats why i say "ewhen im ready" because the last thing i want to do is be like so many other girls, put it on and then take it off! I see the hijaab is a big responsiblity, you are WEARING the name of islam. I know peolpe would take me more seriously if i wore it but i dunno... i really cant explain myself..




Dearest Sister:

I'm not going to say to you that it is easy - although I have known many people who wear hijab right away the moment that they become Muslim - no one else can understand the hardships we go through and one thing may be easy for one person yet difficult for another. Alhumdulilah, I have worn it now for 11 years and it is a part of me that I could never set aside.

I know what you mean that you are scared to wear it. When I first became Muslim I was living in Arkansas and that is really Bible Belt country. Most people at that time were not wearing hijab - including the women from Muslim countries - they wore it in their country and when they got to the US they took it off. I'm not making excuses for anyone - as we all should agree that it is obligitory to wear. The facts remain, people did not wear it.

I was a new Muslim so I was scared to wear it - what would people say - what would people do? I started to wear hijab on Eid. I wore it to the mosque for Eid prayers and afterwards we went for breakfast and I did not take it off (my hair would be messed, it's Eid, why not wear it - etc., etc.). Anyway, I did not take it off and I wore it for the second time in public. When the waitress came to our table . . . she seemed scared - not sure of how to react (remember, back then no one else was setting an example so people were not used to seeing women wear hijab). I was polite . . . said my pleases and thank yous and the woman started to smile and warm up to us. It was then that I realized . . . when I am wearing hijab - and I act with proper ettiquette with people - I am not only telling people that I am a decent person, but now I am also giving people a reflection of Islam. I am saying - Muslims are not bad people. Anything I say or do while wearing hijab is not only a reflection of myself but is a reflection of Islam and is a way that I can make dawah - by making people see Islam through my actions (of course, we need to make sure our actions are a reflection of Islam). After we ate at the restaurant we left and as we were leaving there were two women with several children in tow. Because it was Eid, everyone was wearing nice dresses and hijab (not a sight to be seen at that time). It was so touching to see other women in hijab that I actually cried. It was such a beautiful sight that I promised Allah that I would never take mine off - and, alhumdulilah, I never have.

Since then, I live in a different state and people are more open to Muslims - they see us more and they are much more educated that people in the South (sorry for any Southerners out there!) We are treated well here - for the most part - but we are still not treated the same as people of other faiths.

The only way that we will ever be treated "the same" is if we compromise to the point of being completely like them in thought and deed. Being a Muslim means being different - it is inherent in our religion. The thing we need to realize is that it doesn't matter if we let people know we are Muslim or if we try to hide it . . . it doesn't matter if we dress like they do or we dress like Muslims should dress . . . we are not the same to them no matter what. Beyond that, do we really want to go before Allah and say that we were too shamed or afraid to tell the world that we are Muslim? If we truly believe that being a Muslim is the right choice, then shouldn't we be a banner for all people to see - that we live what we believe and we follow what we believe and that Islam is the truth?

For the non-muslims - it doesn't matter how we dress - they are not going to treat us any differently. Because, when you get down to it . . . it doesn't matter . . . we are still different from them and they can't understand us and our way of life. They will never understand it unless they become open to the message of Islam and many of them are just happy being where they are . . . wearing their short skirts . . . bearing their bodies in the name of freedom . . . and doing things that they should be ashamed of if they only truly believed that God was well aware of all that they do.

Before becoming Muslim, I used to believe that I was only worth something if I tried to make myself as beautiful as possible. I wouldn't even go check the mail unless I had my hair and makeup fixed. Becoming Muslim and wearing hijab taught me that there is more to beauty than just what you show off to people.

There is something liberating about going around satisfied about who you are as a person . . . not having to compete with others . . . not having to be something you aren't and not having to hide behind makeup and clothing that reveals while concealing your true worth as a person. We are worth much more than just bodies to be paraded around and admired - we have hearts and we have souls and we have minds that contain so much more than what is seen in a quick stolen glance by hungry wolves out on the prowl.

The important thing for us to realize . . . life is not a popularity contest. If we only worry about what everyone is going to think of us . . . if we only worry about what people are going to say . . . we are truly going to miss the true message of Islam. If we are not willing to make the sacrifices and to try our best to do what is pleasing to Allah, Allah will not allow us to receive the wisdom needed for true success in this life and in the hereafter. If we seek Allah's pleasure in all that we do, despite the obstacles, Allah will open up other avenues for blessings and provide us with other opportunities for personal growth and wisdom.

As is stated in Sahih Al-Bukhari:

Narrated Anas (R): The Prophet (S) said, "Allah says: 'When a slave of Mine draws near to Me a span, I draw near to him a cubit; and if he draws near to Me a cubit, I draw near to him a fathom. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.'"

For all things that Islam requires of us, there is beauty and wisdom to be gained . . . if we only were to reflect and live our lives accordingly.


<<<I can only hope that these words are of some benefit to you.>>>


Asalaam 'Alaikum,
Sumayyah (Muslimbychoice)
__________________
http://www.muslimbychoice.blogspot.com/
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swanlake
08-15-2005, 03:51 PM
:sl: sis muslimbychoice

:j: for this. My sister has taken off her hijab and now wears it as bandana which hides nothing really but hair. I was wondering if i could email her your reply to sis sparkls and whether you have anything to add it. She has non-muslim friends and she is dying to fit in. Also my sister-in-law doesnt wear anyhting Islamic at all and my sis thinks that when she wears hijab she looks older than my 33 yrs sis-in-law. She feels frumpy and unattractive. I always get her books, tapes about hijab but she listens, softens a bit but few hours later, she carries on from where she left off prior listening/reading about Hijab. I am soo tired of advising her now.
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muslimbychoice
08-15-2005, 06:51 PM
Originally Posted by swanlake
:sl: sis muslimbychoice

:j: for this. My sister has taken off her hijab and now wears it as bandana which hides nothing really but hair. I was wondering if i could email her your reply to sis sparkls and whether you have anything to add it. She has non-muslim friends and she is dying to fit in. Also my sister-in-law doesnt wear anyhting Islamic at all and my sis thinks that when she wears hijab she looks older than my 33 yrs sis-in-law. She feels frumpy and unattractive. I always get her books, tapes about hijab but she listens, softens a bit but few hours later, she carries on from where she left off prior listening/reading about Hijab. I am soo tired of advising her now.
:sl:

Anyone who would like to forward this is more than welcome - there is no problem with forwarding my posts, unless you are going to say that you wrote it! I may have more to add, but would say that perhaps you would like to share this article with her and then let us know what she says and how she feels. That may give us a better idea how to approach her and help her with this, insha'Allah.

If you want to know the truth, and perhaps this is just my opinion - but really the cure for not doing something we should (apart from realizing the problem and tackling it head-on) is knowledge. Some people think they have to beat the idea of wearing hijab (among other things) into other people's heads - but the problem is that the people usually get upset, angry and defiant. This is really not the way to do dawah. One of the beautiful things about this religion is that - if we look into the history of the Muslims, people became Muslim because of the wonderful character the Muslims displayed - because of their beautiful conduct and example. People who were captured in wars were so amazed at how the Muslims took care of them and how the Muslims treated them - that they decided to declare Islam as their religion when not much before that time they were true enemies of Islam.

When I was growing up, my father was a smoker. He smoked I don't know how many packs a day - but it was a lot. I was young, so I did what I could to "help" - I posted pictures of diseased lungs all around the house and constantly begged him to stop. Needless to say - it never achieved anything except making him angry. Later in life, he had cancer and told me I better tell my doctor in case I also got it. He swore up and down it was from the fact that his mother let him play in the sun too long when he was a child. The problem? It was cancer only related to his smoking - but even in his old age he was afraid to admit to me that it was from his smoking. The point I'm trying to make is that sometimes people deep down know that they should do / not do something but they are unable to make the change. However hard we try to get them to stop - it doesn' work - it only makes us tired and angry and them tired and angry.

I would suggest - and this is only my opinion - if you really want to help your sister - help her learn more about islam and stop focusing just on the hijab. Insha'Allah - in time - if Allah opens her heart to it - you may find that she will start to wear the hijab on her own. I spent quite a bit of time when I first became Muslim mulling over the fact that Muslim women were supposed to wear hijab - I knew it, but was unable to find the strength to do it myself. That Rammadan I felt guilty because I couldn't read the Qur'an, so I promised Allah that I would read as much as I could about Islam and prayed that Allah would accept that from me instead. I studied and I read and learned a lot, masha'Allah and Alhumdulilah - I found the strength to wear hijab through increasing my knowledge. Alhumdulilah, that Eid, I never took off my hijab again. So, it is possible to find that strength within us - but perhaps tackling the issue of wearing hijab head-on is not the right place to start.

If you have a nice article you have read about an Islamic issue - or you listened to a really good lecture - share it with her. Don't tell her - "I think this will help you" - but instead just say this is something I listened to and thought you might enjoy listening to it as well. I think that if she starts to increase her faith - then perhaps the feelings inside her heart that made her realize that hijab is necessary will overcome her and she will find hijab a necessary way of life - insha'Allah.

The second best thing you can do is make dua for her that Allah will open her heart to the idea of wearing hijab and to help her to have Islam not only in faith, but in action as well.

<<I hope, insha'Allah, this will be of some benefit to you>>

Asalaam 'Alaikum,
Sumayyah *Muslimbychoice*
Reply

Bittersteel
08-15-2005, 07:16 PM
Is hijab a must for women?If a women does not wear is she uh compelled to wear it?
Reply

- Qatada -
08-15-2005, 07:20 PM
Asalam o alikum warahmatulahi warabakatuh..

yeh bro iss fardh aka compulsary..

One of the verses in the Quran protects a woman's fundamental rights. Verse 59 of Surah Al-Ahzaab reads: "O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when outside) : so that they should be known (as such) and not molested".

wasalam o alikum warahmatulahi wabarkatuh.
Reply

Bittersteel
08-15-2005, 07:25 PM
so if a woman does not wear it she's forced to wear it?
Reply

- Qatada -
08-15-2005, 07:29 PM
Asalam o alikum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh..

yeh bro she has to wear it, like salah is compulsory on a muslim and so is hijab on a muslim woman.

"...so that they should be known (as such) and not molested"."

more info: http://www.islamfortoday.com/syed06.htm

wasalam o alikum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh
Reply

Bittersteel
08-15-2005, 07:40 PM
but what if the woman does not want to wear it even after knowing this?
Reply

Uthman
08-15-2005, 07:42 PM
:sl:

Originally Posted by Abdul Aziz
so if a woman does not wear it she's forced to wear it?
A sister in Islam should want to follow all the rules of the religion. One cannot simply pick and choose. She should not, however be forced to do anything.

لاَ إِكْرَاهَ فِي الدِّينِ قَد تَّبَيَّنَ الرُّشْدُ مِنَ الْغَيِّ فَمَنْ يَكْفُرْ بِالطَّاغُوتِ وَيُؤْمِن بِاللّهِ فَقَدِ اسْتَمْسَكَ بِالْعُرْوَةِ الْوُثْقَىَ لاَ انفِصَامَ لَهَا وَاللّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ

Surah Al-Baqarah verse 256
Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things.

:w:


Reply

muslimbychoice
08-15-2005, 07:44 PM
:sl:

It's the same as any thing in Islam that we are required to do . . . prayer, pay zakat . . .

We will be accountable before Allah on the Day of Judgment for not doing them.


<< and Allah knows best >>

Asalaam 'Alaikum,
Sumayyah Umm Sadiqah wa Asma
Reply

Bittersteel
08-16-2005, 06:07 AM
off topic:why can't women initiate divorce according to the sharia?I think I asked this before and received replies that women can provided they were oppressed.Any hadiths on this matter?
Reply

Mainul_Islam
08-16-2005, 02:48 PM
Originally Posted by Abdul Aziz
so if a woman does not wear it she's forced to wear it?
AA,

brother, we cannot FORCE any1 to practice Islam.... if she still does not want to wear it, then Allah will judge her.
Reply

leena.noor
08-16-2005, 08:12 PM
These are such amazing and insightful answers, and I thank everyone for writing them. I don't wear hijab, and I am battling with the same things that other people are. It for me is a huge step to give up the life from before I became Muslim, just as I was becoming more comfortable with who I was, and understand where I wanted to go in life. My priorities have changed, and still need to change...thanks for ur commets! Salaam aleykum
Reply

Ummu Amatullah
09-11-2005, 01:53 AM
The Manners: The Veil (Hijab)

by Amr Khaled

Translated by the www.daralislamlive.com team.

There is an aim after striving for Allah's (swt) sake. I want to focus on the first implementation of modesty. It is not for the men, but for the women. The most important thing in a woman's life is the Hijab. I'll start with the women for a reason.

If all the brothers and sisters in Islam had modesty, I swear that society will be guided on the right path. I am not here to criticise or judge the sisters. May Allah reward you for taking time to listen to these words. Hence I want to begin the first colour of the colours of modesty; and that is the modesty of the woman.

Why am I going to start with the modesty of the woman? Am I attempting to criticise or judge her? Maybe I don't want to upset the men? No, I would never do that! However, I must stress that if the woman was guided on the right path and protected her modesty, then society would also be on the right path.

When the enemy of Islam wants to destroy something, the first thing they look to destroy is the woman. This is since when the woman loses her modesty, it is easy for the youth to become misguided. In turn, it is easy for the whole soceity to lose their modesty. Hence, the first thing I will talk about is the modesty of the woman. If we say that modesty for the man is obligatory, then modesty for the woman are obligations; for her it is a crucial duty. This is since the nature of the woman is easy for modesty- she is closest to modesty.

Surely the greatest thing that belongs to the woman is her Hijab. Please listen to these words and kindly tell your sisters and tell your relatives. If you wear the hijab, please spread this message to your sisters in faith, and if you do not wear the hijab, please try to benefit from what will be said today.

Indeed, the most honoured thing a woman possesses is her modesty. Moreover, the most precious symbolism of modesty is the Hijab. What is the most precious thing you have? If you have something precious, a pearl, a jewel, or a briefcase of money, will you protect it? Will you hide it? You will put it in a safe surely! The more valuable it becomes, the more you want to protect it. So will you hide it from people or show it off? Will you leave it in front of everyone to watch and take from it whatever they want?

Of course you are going to protect it! So what is the most important, precious thing that deserves to be protected? The woman's modesty. And the most important thing in the woman's life is her Hijab.

Did you know that the pearl is protected by its shell? And the shell is not attractive, yet you cannot substitute it with anything else to protect the pearl. Therefore, you cannot do without the Hijab as it protects you.

So why is the Hijab an obligation for women and not an obligation for men? Is it just to pressurise the woman? No. It is because 100 men will never be able to seduce or make one woman fall for them. No matter what they did, if the woman is not interested, those 100 men cannot do anything to attract her. However, one woman can succeed to attract 100 men in a few minutes. Therefore it is obligatory for the woman, since she is the source of attraction. So the Hijab in her right is a must for her.

Before Islam was sent to the world, the Arabs and Romans believed that the most valuable beauty was found in the body. So the Romans, Arabs and other nations recognised the beauty of the body. So Islam came to change that perception of the body. Islam came to raise the human's spiritual level. Islam came to say: purify your tastes and manners. As humankind progresses, their manners and tastes have to progress too. It was never a written law that the woman has to show her body. Islam stresses that a woman is not judged by her body but her intellect and manners. These are the most important things in our values. So the man will not judge the woman by her beauty. Islam taught the man and transferred his thoughts to judge the woman by her manners and her intellect.

Nobody should see or enjoy her physical body except for her husband. I wonder will any intellectual person accept these words? Who are those who respect and value the woman and who are those who don't? Some people argue that the Hijab is not obligatory and that it was not mentioned in the Qur'an. Let's refer to the Qur'an's verses that make the Hijab obligatory to Muslim women.

"O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies. That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (33:59).

Pay attention that when Allah talks about the Hijab as an obligation He (swt) also includes the women of the believers, meaning all of the Muslim women. So no one can argue that this verse was only referring to the family of the Prophet. The meaning of this verse is that all of the female believers must wear the Hijab so that they will be recognised as pious women, therefore respected and valued by their modesty. No one will harm her because she is respecting herself by what she is wearing.

The Hijab is obligatory! It is not a Sunnah (practise of the Prophet). Allah also says:

"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms display their beauty......And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss." (Quأ¢â‚¬â„¢ran 24:31)

According to most scholars, women must cover everything except for her hands and face.

Allah (swt) went into very fine details to describe the way they have to cover the ears, the neck and the chest. Have you ever seen something described so clearly for us in the way that we should be dressed? When Allah says: to wear the khimar [basically to cover the whole body with loose clothing] it doesn't mean the woman has to wear a very long scarf, it means you have to cover the most important things with the scarf; the hair, the neck and the chest. Therefore, tucking in the small scarf into your neck is an invalid Hijab because it will reveal what you have, i.e. your chest, etc.

Allah says we have to cover everything. Who can say after that that the Hijab is not obligatory? And the verse with, 'turn all together to Allah, in other words, Repent you believers.'

It is a duty of a husband to encourage (not force) and persuade her to wear the Hijab in order for her to be respected and be valued as a pious woman. In another verse, Allah addresses the Muslim women not to show off and dress in such a way that the pre-Islamic women used to. How did the Pre-Islamic women dress? Did they wear short skirts? No they didn't. Can you guess how they used to show off their beauty? They used to wear better than short skirts that's for sure. The pre-Islamic women used to cover everything, so they would wear long dresses, but they would show their chest, necks, forehead and the top of their hair.

What will you do when you stand in front of Allah and He asks you, where is your Hijab? Do not be upset by my words sister, I am only stressing this out of concern. When the verses of the Hijab were revealed, all of the women covered immediately. However, never force your daughters and sisters to wear the Hijab. Advise them in the best of ways so that they can see the true wisdom behind the Hijab.

When the verses of the Hijab were revealed, the men told the women about the meaning of the verses. The women were so eager to obey Allah's command exactly the way it was described in the Qur'an. Since they couldn't afford to buy new materials for a Hijab, they took a dress and tore it into two and used it as a Hijab and went out like that.

Allah says we have to cover everything. Who can say after that that the Hijab is not obligatory? And the verse with, 'turn all together to Allah, in other words, Repent you believers.'

It is a duty of a husband to encourage (not force) and persuade her to wear the Hijab in order for her to be respected and be valued as a pious woman.

When the verses of the Hijab were revealed, the men told the women about the meaning of the verses. The women were so eager to obey Allah's command exactly the way it was described in the Qur'an. Since they couldn't afford to buy new materials for a Hijab, they took a dress and tore it into two and used it as a Hijab and went out like that.

This is contrary to the way women of today are like; they make excuses for not wearing the proper Hijab. The Prophet (saw) said: " "A group of women will never enter Paradise. They are those who wear tight, revealing clothes and do not listen to Allah's command of wearing the Hijab. Not only will they not enter Paradise, but they will not even smell Paradise, although you can smell Paradise from a 500 year distance". This Hadeeth is from Saheeh Muslim.

To stress how important it is to cover yourself, there is another example. The Prophet (saw) had to go into battle against a tribe of Jews who ridiculed a Muslim woman in the market. They tricked her by tying up her dress, so when she moved, she tripped over and her dress tore so she became uncovered. So a Muslim man who saw this stood up and killed the Jewish man who had done so. So the Prophet (saw) took the army and threw out the Jewish tribe out of Madinah.

I wonder what the Prophet would have done if he saw the way women dress now. Another example is of the famous scholar Ibn Hanbal. He was walking in the market and a breeze of air lifted a woman's dress and he saw her ankle accidentally. His reaction was shocked and angry saying: these are the days of the corruption! He reacted like this over a uncovered ankle! I wonder what he would have done if he saw today's women. I could not have spoken about modesty without talking about the Hijab because modesty is a branch of faith.

What is your excuse for not wearing the Hijab? Let's go through a list of excuses.

1) I'm not convinced of the Hijab.

So I'd ask you, what are you? You would reply, I'm a Muslim. What is the meaning of Muslim? The meaning of a Muslim is to submit yourself totally to Allah. The sister who does not want to put the Hijab on is not submitted to Allah. She doesn't want to submit to the will of Allah. How can we argue against, or disobey what Allah and His Messenger have given to us? Prophet Ibrahim had to sacrifice his son and he didn't understand why he had to do such a thing. So that teaches us how to submit to Allah's word. I would rather hear you say that you are not strong enough to put the Hijab on, than you to say that you are not convinced with Allah's own words.

2nd Excuse:

The women who say that the most important thing is what is in the inside, that her intentions are always good, and she is a good person, and the Hijab is the Hijab of the heart. And these women say that they pray 5 times a day, better than 60 men, and she prays the night prayers, and she prays the voluntary prayers, and she gives charity. However, she feels that this is enough worship for her. Allah (SWT) and His Messenger said: You cannot take parts of Islam and reject other parts. You have to take the religion as a whole.

So let us calculate it, you are saying that you are doing a lot of good deeds and that your intentions are good, and your heart is pure. Alright, I agree with you, but I want to ask you one question. Let us calculate this together. Everyday you go out, every man that looks at your hair and your body, do you take sins or not? Of course you take sins because you didn't obey Allah's command. And you'll find that the lady will argue: 'It's not my fault, my intentions are good, it's the man that will take sins for looking at me.' No sister. He will take sins if he stares at you because you were attracting attention.

Let's calculate it. Everyday, how many sins does a woman who doesn't wear the Hijab take? Would it go over a thousand sins a day? And remember, the man has two eyes, not one! And the man has a heart that loves and desires. Can you imagine the sins the woman is getting? I wonder if your good deeds will be enough? Will they outweigh the thousands of sins you are getting everyday? I want you to do a little experiment. Everyday you go out, count how many sins you are getting. How many sins do you get for every man that looks at your hair and body?

Didn't Allah order you to wear the Hijab? I am afraid that your good deeds are falling from a torn bag. The good deeds enter the top and escape from the hole at the bottom.

The Third Excuse:

The Hijab and hot weather.

The woman can complain that she looses her hair when she puts on the Hijab, because of the heat. So come on, do you want me to loose my hair and get bald? I won't put it on because my hair falls off. Sister, Allah says: Say that the Hell fire is stronger than the heat of the world.

The Prophet (saw) said: Hell is surrounded by our desires, and Jannah is surrounded by the good things. Is it still difficult for you to put on the Hijab? But you'll take GREAT deeds for following Allah's command!

The Forth Excuse:

The women say that they knew ladies that wore the Hijab and they had the worst of manners, and did the worst of things. So I don't want to put the Hijab on because I don't want to be like them. Okay, I argue to the sister that I know people who pray, but do bad things, does that mean we shouldn't pray? Some people go to Hajj so that they can hide under the title of Hajj and that they can do bad things. Does that mean we shouldn't go to hajj? So sister, the wrong is not in the religion, but in the people themselves. So is the hijab bad or the person who wears the hijab?

5th Excuse:

Allah has not guided me yet. I will put on the Hijab, but Allah hasn't guided me to do so now. So when I am 50 years old and I have enjoyed my life, I'll put on the Hijab. No sister, this excuse is totally wrong. Allah says: Allah does not change a people's situation unless they change what is within themseleves. You will not put the Hijab on until you change what is within yourself and work towards putting on the Hijab. It's not acceptable for you to say that Allah has not guided you- no, he has guided you and the proof is that you are listening to these words. The reason you are listening to these words is Allah opening the journey of guidance to you. Allah will never leave a person unless He gives him guidance, so it is up to that person to obey or not.

6th Excuse:

When I get married I'll put on the Hijab.

So I'll tell you, alot of men look for the pious, religious woman who respects herself with her Hijab, more than those men who look for the other women. And Allah has written who you will marry anyway! So you won't marry anyone else except for that person that Allah has chosen for you. Don't be afraid, put your trust in Allah. Allah will give you the pious husband. So when you marry, marry somoene who will love you for your faith and respect you.

A man came to a scholar and asked him: If I'm going to marry my sister to someone, who should it be? The Scholar replied, marry her to a man who is a friend of Islam, so if he loved her, he will respect her, and if he hated her, he will not treat her badly. Marry the man that will protect you, respect you, and be happy that you are a wearing the veil.

7th Excuse:

I'm still young.

Do you know when you'll die sister? The death rate for youths is increasing! I will give you an example of a girl. A True story that really happened. This happened in Egypt, Alexandria last year in Ramadan. The man was telling me that his wife wears a veil. Living in front of them was a young girl who was not wearing the veil. And the girl has good things inside her heart, like all of our sisters in Islam. However, she doesn't understand the meaning of the veil and the meaning it has in Islam. So he said that his wife (and this is obligatory for all the women who wear Hijab) had good relations with this girl. She didn't ignore her just because she doesn't wear the Hijab, no, she was friends with her. So one day the young girl had come to ask the wife if she'd come shopping with her to buy some jeans. So the intelligent wife who knows that she has to call the girl towards Allah agreed to go shopping with her, but under one condition: the girl comes with the wife to an islamic circle that was going to start. The girl agreed.

So they went to the circle which was about repentence to Allah. The girl was so inspired by what was being said, and started to cry until she kept repeating one sentence over and over again: I've repented Allah, please someone cover me. The people told her okay let us take you home and you can put the Hijab on. But she refused, wanting to be covered right at that moment with the Hijab, she couldn't go out without it. So they got her a scarf and a dress, and she left the building with it on. And as soon as she left to cross the road, a car hit her and she died.

I swear this is a true story. She died after she had repented. She is lucky that she repented before she died. So never give the excuse that you are still young, because you never know when you will die.

8th Excuse:

I want to follow fashion and if I wear the Hijab I'll be out of fashion.

Isn't Allah more dearer to you than fashion? I swear when you put the Hijab on you'll have light shinning from within you, and you'll be more beautiful with your Hijab.

9th Excuse: I want to follow the westerners.

Who respects the woman more? Islam or the ones who cannot even sell matches without painting a half naked woman on it? Are they the ones who have respected the woman or exploited the woman? Or Islam, who has respected the woman and covered her and liberated her from exploitation?

10th Exuse:

I don't want to because I'm afraid of taking it off. Sister why don't you put it on with firm faith and ask Allah to always protect you with it so you never take it off. Of course I'm not saying that taking off the Hijab isn't a sin. Taking off the Hijab is the biggest sin, the biggest sin, the biggest sin, the biggest sin. It's the biggest sin because you would be encouraging other women to do the same. Never ever do this please. Allah (swt) would hate that. Wear the Hijab and do these three things to make sure you will never take it off:

1- Have good religious friends
2- Attend and listen to Islamic lectures
3- Make duaa (suplications) to ask God to keep your Hijab on and strengthen your faith.


Ok, the last excuse: I'm shy and embarrassed from what my friends and relatives will say if I put the Hijab on. Sister, won't you be ashamed of yourself from Allah on the Day of Judgement? Won't you be embarrased when you see the Prophet (saw) on the Day of Judgement?

On the Day of Judgement you will be thirsty and the Prophet will be giving water to everyone. And you will run to him, but two angels will stop you going further. The Prophet will say, leave her! She is from my nation. The angels will say, we cannot Prophet Muhammad, for she did not obey Allah's command. So the Prophet would say, go away, far away, I do not want to have anything to do with you because you didn't listen to Allah's command.

And who would be embarrased? The one who is showing her body to everyone, or the one who is respecting and covering it? The Prophet (saw) said: grab Islam with your hands and teeth! Sisters and brothers in Islam, this was a lecture for the sisters on the issue of the Hijab.

I advise you to be up to the standards of the Hijab. If you want to put on the Hijab, do it now, but don't put it on if you don't pray or fast and your rude with no manners and you are not close to Allah, that way you will be weak and take it off. If you can put the Hijab on now, pray on time, and be with religious friends, read the Quran everyday, and thank Allah everyday even if it's for a few minutes.

If you did these five things, your Hijab will go with your worship, your manners, and you'll be an example to all the muslim and non-muslim women. Never think that you can put the Hijab on and not worship Allah or have any sort of Islamic personality. And if you are wearing the Hijab and you do not pray hold those five things in your heart and practise them everyday, for you are representing Islam sister. Strengthen your faith so you can keep it on.

If you cannot do these things after you put on your hijab, (And youأ¢â‚¬â„¢re not wearing the hijab) do them and renew your intentions. But do not do these things for 6 years and then put on the Hijab. No, make it more like after one month starting from today or two or three months; build yourself from within and then put it on. Work towards putting on the Hijab.

Another point. You have become a Muslim who wears the veil. Never think that the Hijab means you have completed your worship and will enter heaven. On the contrary, it is only the beginning of your journey towards Allah (swt).

A futher point: remember that you are an example to all the Muslim and non-Muslim women. With your manners, worship, smile, even when you are walking down the street, you are an example to everyone and you will indeed inspire many people, without even saying a word. You will purify your society! Your good deeds are extremely of value to Allah. You will guide your sisters in Islam. You are our example, our ambassador of Islam. Please, please do not let us down.

Here are a few points of how to wear the Hijab. If you do not follow these points that means you are not wearing a proper hijab. So please make sure that you follow each point carefully.

1- Your clothes must be loose, covering your body and not revealing the shape of your body. If you show the shape of your legs, waist, shoulders, if the scarf is too tight around your head and you are showing the shape of your hair if you have tied it in a bun, etc.
2- Not wearing see through clothes.
3- Covering the whole body except for the hands and face.
4- Not wearing clothes that resemble a man's clothes.
5- Not wearing perfume.

Keep to these points at all times and you have the Hijab and are a Mohajaba.
Reply

Zuko
09-11-2005, 02:37 AM
Great post masha'allah...

Another example is of the famous scholar Ibn Hanbal. He was walking in the market and a breeze of air lifted a woman's dress and he saw her ankle accidentally. His reaction was shocked and angry saying: these are the days of the corruption!
But that wasn't her fault, it was the wind.....:confused:



Originally Posted by Shukri
if the scarf is too tight around your head
:confused:



Reply

Ummu Amatullah
09-11-2005, 02:44 AM
:confused:


;D ;D ;D Is there a minute you aren't :confused: :confused: ?Yeah!!!I'll admit that part is a little bit :confused:
Reply

Zuko
09-11-2005, 02:57 AM
Originally Posted by Shukri
;D ;D ;D Is there a minute you aren't :confused: :confused: ?Yeah!!!I'll admit that part is a little bit :confused:
:confused: :confused:



:p ;)
Reply

rayhana
09-22-2005, 05:54 AM
Assalaamu'alaykum

Dear sister sumayyah,

Jazzakallahu khayran for your excellent and touching post...

I am a revert of nearly two years... but I did not wear the hijab immediately after my reversion. I have been told that if I did, things would've been easier for my family to accept.

But about 3 weeks ago, I decided to put on the hijab, alhamdulillah.

But this is not after much seeking, reading, finding out, praying, asking for guidance... and squashing fears of this and that, and not allowing syaitan to have a field day with my thoughts...

I was so worried about this and that... but the day I just decided to wear it, I felt really relieved. I am human and I am sinning every day... but by not wearing the hijab I was sinning every day... it was a big relief to know that I am able to be in control of committing a sin knowingly...

My mother cried. Every time she looks at or think of me, she cries. My grandad asked for brandy during dinner time when he saw me, something he has never done before in the 89 years of his life. My uncles and aunts look at me funny (but alhamdulillah they haven't said anything mean...). I just lost a couple of friends (hopefully for the time being, but if not, it would be for my own good..)... my sister consoled my mom saying that I was only becoming more old-fashioned in my dressing... and there is surely more to come...

But to withstand all these, I just tell myself that I am doing it for Allah's sake and ALlah's sake alone... that is enough to keep me going, insya Allah.

I must admit it was tough taking the first step... but the first step IS always the toughest...

I had a brother who (I am sure he had good intentions however) asked me in a group of brothers and sisters, wheN I was going to wear the hijab. To tell you the truth, I was very ashamed and embarrassed... but I was also upset to a certain extent because I was struggling within myself to wear the hijab and here comes someone who has no idea of what I was going through - and he just asked me outright in front of so many people. I was upset, but I told myself it was meant to be and maybe Allah has His reasons for that happening...

But alhamdulillah... slowly but surely my family will accept me...

I must admit, I did not want to wear the hijab initially, because I wanted to know more about Islam and to love it sincerely... only then I decided to put the hiijab on... I didn't want to take it out halfway nauzhu billah...

Alhamdulillah.. I have only Allah to be grateful to for my decision....

Wassalaamu'alaykum,
rayhana
Reply

S_87
09-22-2005, 02:33 PM
Originally Posted by Abdul Aziz
why can't women initiate divorce according to the sharia?I think I asked this before and received replies that women can provided they were oppressed.Any hadiths on this matter?
:sl:

umm generally speaking why?

ok i answer this as a woman (well duh)

a man, when in anger can hold back. it takes only a few words for a divorce

everytime a woman is angry she would scream divorce. and trust me that WOULD happen
so can you imagine it? :coolsis:
Reply

muslimbychoice
09-22-2005, 03:12 PM
Asalaam 'Alaikum Dearest Rayhana:

I am glad that you enjoyed the post . . .

I understand how hard it must have been to make the decision to wear the hijab and I am glad that you finally were able to get to that point, masha'Allah. Mabruk! It is difficult just dealing with things on your own . . . but when you also have a close extended family it is even more difficult because you have all these other people's reactions to contend with. Alhumdulilah, Allah made you strong enough to make this decision and strong enough to stick with it. I can't say everything is going to be perfect . . . but it will get easier and soon hijab will be a part of you - something you couldn't imagine ever going without.

About losing the friends . . . if they were truly friends, they would accept you as you are and not worry about how you are dressed. Also, I think that in time, you may find . . . as I have . . . that it is hard having friends who are not Muslim because their lives are so different than ours . . . their goals are different . . . what they like is different. And Allah knows best. When I started wearing hijab, I also had non-Muslim friends that I worked with. Every chance they got . . . they seemed not to be able to help themselves . . . they would always make comments that were disturbing or disrespect my position. It got old . . . fast . . .

As for the brother and what he said . . . when we set aside the anger and pain . . . what he said is true . . . we must wear the hijab. However, people are often (unfortunately) quite insensitive to the fact of how hard things can be for someone who is new to Islam. It is hard for them to 'step in our shoes' so to speak. I would just say . . . think of the best . . . assume the brother just had your best interest at heart and leave it at that. There's no point being upset about it or being angry. Although - I know it is sometimes easier to hold onto those feelings than to actually look at the issue . . . which is that he was right. Don't worry . . . your post didn't come out like you were A N G R Y or anything . . . but perhaps your feelings were hurt?

As for your family . . . you seem to be blessed . . . for while they are having problems adjusting, they at least are accepting of the situation. Many people who become Muslim who have close families . . . the family openly disrespects them . . . kicks them out of the house . . . and I am sure it's not easy for them. Just be patient, kind and loving towards your family . . . show them Islam in action. Just don't use them as an excuse not to do something we know we should do . . . If they see you have strength of purpose and they also see the beauty of your actions as a Muslim . . . who knows, they may also become Muslim. And . . . make lots of dua that they do become Muslim, insha'Allah.

Asalaam' Alaikum,
Sumayyah Umm Sadiqah wa Asma

Originally Posted by rayhana
Assalaamu'alaykum

Dear sister sumayyah,

Jazzakallahu khayran for your excellent and touching post...

I am a revert of nearly two years... but I did not wear the hijab immediately after my reversion. I have been told that if I did, things would've been easier for my family to accept.

But about 3 weeks ago, I decided to put on the hijab, alhamdulillah.

But this is not after much seeking, reading, finding out, praying, asking for guidance... and squashing fears of this and that, and not allowing syaitan to have a field day with my thoughts...

I was so worried about this and that... but the day I just decided to wear it, I felt really relieved. I am human and I am sinning every day... but by not wearing the hijab I was sinning every day... it was a big relief to know that I am able to be in control of committing a sin knowingly...

My mother cried. Every time she looks at or think of me, she cries. My grandad asked for brandy during dinner time when he saw me, something he has never done before in the 89 years of his life. My uncles and aunts look at me funny (but alhamdulillah they haven't said anything mean...). I just lost a couple of friends (hopefully for the time being, but if not, it would be for my own good..)... my sister consoled my mom saying that I was only becoming more old-fashioned in my dressing... and there is surely more to come...

But to withstand all these, I just tell myself that I am doing it for Allah's sake and ALlah's sake alone... that is enough to keep me going, insya Allah.

I must admit it was tough taking the first step... but the first step IS always the toughest...

I had a brother who (I am sure he had good intentions however) asked me in a group of brothers and sisters, wheN I was going to wear the hijab. To tell you the truth, I was very ashamed and embarrassed... but I was also upset to a certain extent because I was struggling within myself to wear the hijab and here comes someone who has no idea of what I was going through - and he just asked me outright in front of so many people. I was upset, but I told myself it was meant to be and maybe Allah has His reasons for that happening...

But alhamdulillah... slowly but surely my family will accept me...

I must admit, I did not want to wear the hijab initially, because I wanted to know more about Islam and to love it sincerely... only then I decided to put the hiijab on... I didn't want to take it out halfway nauzhu billah...

Alhamdulillah.. I have only Allah to be grateful to for my decision....

Wassalaamu'alaykum,
rayhana
Reply

sabr
09-22-2005, 04:27 PM
may Allah make things easy for you! but hey even if you struggle in this world (and life is a test) you will get your reward for every step you take for Allahs pleasure. May Allah give you strength in everything you do for his sake.
Reply

Rabi'ya
09-22-2005, 04:34 PM
ameen......

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

rayhana
09-23-2005, 05:26 AM
Originally Posted by muslimbychoice
Asalaam 'Alaikum Dearest Rayhana:

About losing the friends . . . if they were truly friends, they would accept you as you are and not worry about how you are dressed. Also, I think that in time, you may find . . . as I have . . . that it is hard having friends who are not Muslim because their lives are so different than ours . . . their goals are different . . . what they like is different. And Allah knows best. When I started wearing hijab, I also had non-Muslim friends that I worked with. Every chance they got . . . they seemed not to be able to help themselves . . . they would always make comments that were disturbing or disrespect my position. It got old . . . fast . . .
Assalaamu'alaykum sister sumayyah,

Yes, I must agree with you.. on one hand I would love to be with the friends I used to spend so much of my time with, but on the other hand, I realise that our goals are different... and when that happens, we just don't know what to talk about... most of my friends don't know that I am wearing the hiijab yet, but those who do.. well, most of them just don't want to meet up with me at the moment. But Allah knows best, and He knows what's best for us. alhamdulillah.

About the brother, well, I am no more upset. I was. But learnt to accept the fact that Allah had willed it to happen. Maybe another sister could pull him aside and tell him nicely that if he really wanted to ask about when a sister is going to don the hijab, maybe he should ask a sister to do so, and not do it in a group. Allah knows best. But I am okay with it no problem not angry whatsoever, i was! But no anymore :)

Yes, I am blessed for I have not been kicked out of the house.. alhamdulillah.. but really, my mother has been seeing me less.. I guess she still needs to come to terms with the fact that her daughter is going all weird (in her eyes anyway...) and well, my father alhamdulillah is taking it alright.. but I pray to Allah to make it easy for them too...

It feels great that so many around the world can give support because we are all one big family, it is amazing isn't it.. irrespective of race or colour or whatever... it doesn't matter for Islam IS for all of mankind. Subhanallah.

sister sabr (great nick :)) and sister Rabi'ya... amin to the dua's.. :)

Jazzakallahu khayran sister... may Allah bless you and your family and may He guide us all to the straight path. Amin.

Wassalaamu'alaykum,
rayhana
Reply

muslimbychoice
09-23-2005, 04:16 PM
Asalaam 'Alaikum:

I wish you all the success in this endeavor and may Allah shine on you the light of knowledge about Islam and the patience to deal with those who are less than understanding of your position.

Just think . . . becoming a Muslim has opened up a whole new world to you . . . and a whole new spectrum of friends to find. We have something really special because we have a unity that knows no boundaries . . .

I agree that you might want to get someone to talk to the brother and advise him on the proper manner of giving naseehah. There are articles on that subject all over the internet . . . just do a search on naseehah or islam & advice.

Give your family time to adjust. If they are anything like my family . . . they may be praying this is a phase and that you will get out of it soon. Once they see you are serious and dedicated . . . they may relax a little.


With love for the sake of Allah,
Asalaam 'Alaikum
Sumayyah Umm Sadiqah wa Asma
Reply

rubi
09-23-2005, 04:41 PM
salaams
i do not yet wear a hijaab insha'Allah i am going to start wearing one, and reading this post has made me want t owear a hijaab even more, the part about the husband is true,jazakallah for such a lovely post.
God Bless U!
Reply

Khojestah
09-23-2005, 05:09 PM
Asalmualikum I know that this article is kinda a long article, but I hope that all the sisters here read it. It’ll give u an idea of how important hijab is in Islam.

Where is your Hijab
In The Name Of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All Praise And Thanks Are Due To Allah, And Peace And Blessings Be Upon His Messenger.



By JUNDULLAH



Dear sister in Islam, thanks a lot for taking the time to read this article. This article has been written mostly for those sisters who do not wear the Hijab, for those who have not yet understood the importance of the Hijab, and for all those who wear the Hijab but failing to fulfill its requirements.



“Jewels Are Precious – So Protect Them”. Sister you are the Jewel, you are Precious, and you need Protection. Your Creator has shown you long ago how to protect yourself but Laa, No you won’t heed him, you will do what you like, dress yourself as you like and go wherever you like… and afterwards you’ll cry, but for some of you it will be too LATE.



“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that what is apparent, and to draw their veil over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands’ fathers, or their sons or their husbands’ sons, or their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women’s nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed.” (An-Nur 24:31)



From the above verse it is easily understood that, apart from lowering her gaze, a woman must not display any part of her body. We also understand from the same verse that a woman must cover her chest and should not reveal her adornment to anyone except to her husband, father, father-in-law… as stated in the above verse.

So, to fulfill Allah’s command, you should wear a Hijab.



What is a Hijab? In the Qu’ran, the term Hijab is used of the attire of the Muslim woman as a whole, but also includes the way she lives and acts. In everyday language it often refers to the veil or scarf itself which must cover the head and chest.

Hijab is derived from the Arabic word hajaba which means to conceal or to prevent from being seen. So a Hijab can be an opaque piece of cloth which covers your body from the public’s eyes.



What is the purpose of the Hijab? The purpose of the Hijab in Islam is not to cut Muslim women from participating in the activities of the society or to keep men and women utterly segregated or to make it hard for women to function normally in life. Rather, the Hijab is to help women maintain their dignity and honour as free persons and to help them fulfill their obligation smoothly and comfortably.

The Hijab has been prescribed for your own good dear sister. It protects you from the lusty intentions of evil people. The Hijab is meant to preserve your dignity, O Muslim sister!

Hence like all other Shari’ah-based commands, Hijab should be given due care, for it brings countless fruits and benefits. Hijab is the proper Islamic dress code, which is primarily intended to safeguard modesty, dignity and honour of men and women. In instructing you to wear the Hijab, Allah has given Muslim women what they can bear of injunctions and obligations, for Allah says,



“And We do not lay on any soul a burden except to the extent of it’s ability, and with Us is a Book which speaks the truth, and they shall not be dealt with injustly.” (Al-Mu’minune 23: 62)



What are the requirements of the Hijab? The requisites of Hijab or proper Islamic clothing for women:-

1. It should cover the whole body except face and hands. (may cover face and hands if you wish so)

2. It should be loose-fitting.

3. It should not be transparent or revealing.

4. It should not be an attire specifically worn by men only.

The first condition can be supported by taking a look at the verse stated above (An-Nur: 31). As for the second one, the clothes you wear should not be tight so that it does not take the form of your body. Also the clothes should not be transparent and should not be in such a way that your body is revealed. Finally the attire should not be one that is worn only by men because the Prophet (s.a.w) had once said that there will be punishment for those men who imitate women and vice-versa. So, women are not said to be imitating men only when they cut their hair or while doing activities that should have been done only by men, but also while clothing themselves as them. O you Muslim sisters, abide by the laws of Allah. Follow your only guide, AL-QUR’AN. As long as your clothes fulfill the above conditions, then you don’t have to worry.



Hijab is a duty that the Almighty has prescribed for Muslim women, for woman like YOU. Don’t you know? Don’t you know what Allah has said in the Holy Book? Allah says:



“It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by God and his Apostle, to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys God and his Apostle, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path. ”. (Al-Ahzab: 36)



It is clear that Allah Almighty has obliged Muslim women to wear Hijab in order to preserve them from bedizenment (to dress or ornament with showy finery) which would definitely make them prone to harassment and render them an easy prey for depraved men with lusty motives. Thus Hijab is meant to protect you, to protect your honour and dignity, and to protect you from the illnesses of our society. Hijab is also meant to safeguard and protect the whole society from temptation and secure the stability of marital lives.



Now, after reading the above verses and this article, don’t you feel at least a little guilty for having disobeyed Allah for so long. So, what are you waiting for? Don’t you think its time to bring the real Islam back into your life? Why do you want to be like those Kuffars when you have the deen of Haq (truth) in your hand? Can’t you see that you are being manipulated by the Kaffirs? Can’t you see?

So what are you WAITING for? RETURN BACK TO YOUR LORD! RETURN BACK TO ALLAH! Ask for His forgiveness for all those years that you have sinned. GO AND GRAB THAT HIJAB!!!



If a person refuses to wear the Hijab after knowing that it is a requirement mandated by Allah, then she is truly a transgressor and guilty of a serious offence in the sight of Allah. She will surely be punished for this sin unless Allah wants otherwise.



Why do you want to be the pleasure of public’s eyes by exposing your body and beauty? Why? DON’T YOU REMEMBER WHAT ALLAH SAYS IN THE THIRTY-FIRST VERSE OF SURAH AN-NUR? If ever you have to expose your body, then do it only in front of your husband and not for the public.

Who do you FEAR? ALLAH or the KAAFIRS? Are you ashame to wear the Hijaab only because these Kuffars will make fun of you? Won’t you be ashamed then when Allah will ask you why you didn’t obey him? Can’t you do it only for the pleasure of your creator?



You are not wearing the Hijab because you are afraid that these Kaafirs will say that your Hijab is something that is outdated. No my sister, they will say this only because they are IGNORANT. Due to the decrease in moral values nowadays, circumstances have made Hijab even more than necessary. In our society of today, human are like wolves in clothes with lusty motives and ideas under their scalps. With sex crimes constantly increasing and “liberated women” in the society, they now face high chances of being sexually harassed or raped. Allah made the Hijab compulsory so as to protect you from harm dear sister. Be it you are going to school, to work, or to any other places, you must wear your Hijab. This is Allah’s law, and be aware that the Almighty’s laws has got no flaws. Many IGNORANTS will tell you that your Hijab is like a portable prison that restricts your mind and life. Do you know why they say this nonsense to you? This is because they want you to fall victim to their plots. So, beware! Don’t be naïve enough to slide away from the rope of Allah. Wake up O Muslim sister, WAKE UP!!!



Do you know why the number of rapes is increasing? Do you Know? Its because of women who don’t want to accept the laws of the Almighty, women who are ready to compromise Islam, women who are ready to reject the Truth. Yes my dear sister, we know you won’t compromise Islam, we know that like all of us you want to be in Jannah one day and we know that you have Imaan in your heart. So, for the sake of Allah, just to be in Jannah, just to make the difference between you and the Kaafirs, AS FROM NOW REPENT, REPENT FOR HAVING DISOBEYED YOUR CREATOR AND START WEARING YOUR HIJAB AS FROM TODAY ONLY FOR ALLAH’S PLEASURE AND FOR THE PLACE (JANNAH) THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE IN ONE DAY.



There is only two destinations after death; one is Jannah and the other one is the Hell. My dear sister you are at a cross-road, its time to take your decision now. SO NOW THINK ABOUT IT AND DON’T LET SHAITWAAN HELP YOU TO TAKE THIS DECISION, AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL DON’T LET HIM BLIND YOU. We hope that Allah will help you take the right decision. AMEEN.
Reply

☆ღUmm Uthmanღ☆
09-23-2005, 06:40 PM
Assalaamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh..Masha'Allah!! beautiful reminder!
Reply

ummbilal
09-23-2005, 07:43 PM
salaam alakum all,

in answer to your question yes hijaab (ie covering the body and head in such a way that only face and hands are visible) is an obligation for muslim women, Allhumdulilah it is a wonderful thing when you understand why you are wearing it and seek to please Allah.

ne of the verses in the Quran protects a woman's fundamental rights. Verse 59 of Surah Al-Ahzaab reads: "O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when outside) : so that they should be known (as such) and not molested".

Muslims differ as to niqaab(the face veil) but Allahu alam,
personally i wear hijab and a jilbab or long coat.

jazakallah khair for sharing this article its very good.
Reply

ummbilal
09-23-2005, 07:48 PM
I should also add that not wearing a hijab doesnt take you outside the fold of Islam and as muslims we should be patient with the sisters not yet wearing the hijaab, we are not born knowing.

Sometimes sisters interested in practising are snubbed by hijaabis because they dont wear hijaab.

the first time i went to a mosque, i wasnt really appropriatly dressed, my hijaab kept slipping and my dress wasnt quite long enough, Allhumdulilah the wonderful sisters there, pinned my hijaab tighter for me and lent me a jilbab to pray in, may Allah reward them well for thier kindness if they had looked at all disapprovingly at me i think i would have been crushed and had a hard time returning to that masjid.
Reply

Umm Yoosuf
09-23-2005, 07:50 PM
Assalaamu Alaikum.
Very interesting post masha Allah.
Reply

Rabi'ya
09-23-2005, 07:56 PM
Originally Posted by ummbilal
I should also add that not wearing a hijab doesnt take you outside the fold of Islam and as muslims we should be patient with the sisters not yet wearing the hijaab, we are not born knowing.

Sometimes sisters interested in practising are snubbed by hijaabis because they dont wear hijaab.

the first time i went to a mosque, i wasnt really appropriatly dressed, my hijaab kept slipping and my dress wasnt quite long enough, Allhumdulilah the wonderful sisters there, pinned my hijaab tighter for me and lent me a jilbab to pray in, may Allah reward them well for thier kindness if they had looked at all disapprovingly at me i think i would have been crushed and had a hard time returning to that masjid.
MashaAllah thats really nice.... Although i did not get this treatment from my mosque when i first went. nobody commented and very soon I was more aware of how I dressed

MashaAllah sister, seems like you got a nice group of sisters around u :)

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

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